I don’t know how I'm gonna tell him, this boy is my everything though and that'll never change.
***
What a day! After spending the day doing what my Dad refers to as 'family time', I cant wait to get to Trina's and be around a family that’s actually normal. I remember family time from when I was a little kid, it was a disaster every fucking time and today was no different. A walk down Chattahoochee River ended with Chase missing a step and ending up incredibly wet. I gotta be honest, I laughed my ass off on seeing him splashing around in those murky waters and near enough wet myself at the look on his face when Noah shouted for him to be careful of Alligators. Pam of course was a mess the whole time, screaming for my Dad to get her baby out. My Dad looked more than a little hesitant to enter the dirty water but did so anyway. Pam had to drive us all back to the hotel and Noah and I flipped a coin to decide who the poor soul was that'd have to sit in the back seat with a very wet and very smelly Chase and Dad. The coin was of course on my side and Noah spent the entire ride pinching his nose. So a good day all round I think, except for Chase and Dad and probably Noah, though he had a very pleasurable start to the day in the shower.
"Turn that damn song off." I groan on hearing that same old Taylor Swift song again. Seriously, don’t the radio stations have anything else to play?
It's more than weird being in such close proximity to Noah and not being able to touch him, not without anyone noticing anyway. I sit squished between him and Chase in the backseat of my Dads rover. Despite it being a bigass car, Noah take up more than his fair share of the set what with his drool worthy broad shoulders. Its doesn’t help that he looks extremely dashing in his navy blue button down that clings to his sculpted body. The black jeans are snug in all the right places and I find myself having thoughts that are more than inappropriate for a family outing.
Chase is playing on his damn phone the other side and I'm gonna whack him the upside of his head if it doesn’t stop fucking beeping. Probably those three doofus' that are always hanging around the house like a bad smell. Pam practically had to practically dress him herself to get him out of the combats and converse and into a smart white shirt and blue jeans.
As we pull into Trina's street, I get that same feeling I get when something big is about to happen. Her house is a welcome sight and I'm hoping to speak to her about yesterday. She's apologized about a hundred times for opening her big mouth and while I was pissed of at Trina at the time, I know it's just her way. Shes nosy and interfering but those are just some of the reasons she's my best friend. I know it didn’t come from a place of malice and she only had the best intentions. I don’t want people looking at me with pity though or sympathy because I'm the poor little girl whose Mother doesn’t give a fuck. I couldn’t give two fucks whether the bitch likes me or not, I've had years to get used to her shit and now I just accept it. Its like Ada said, some people are just not meant to be Mothers and I'm just the unlucky shmuck that got lumbered with one of those people.
The car comes to a stop and we file out of it. I'm a little nervous considering that Ada and Trina know about me and Noah, I know they wouldn't say anything but a simple slip of the tongue would completely blow our cover.
"I haven't seen Ada in , I don’t know, four, five years?" My Dad says as we look up at the Southern style home.
"I can't wait to see her photo with Sylvester." Pam excitedly claps.
Maybe I should look up online for any support groups for people who are obsessed with celebrities, that shit cant be normal. I just hope that she never actually meets Stallone because I have a feeling my Dad would find himself left outside in the cold.
Noah lies his hand on my lower back causing those pesky butterflies to start up again, he never fails to get that reaction out of me. The small electrical charge shooting through my body like a bolt of lightning. The endearing and personal action sends my insides to mush and just about has me swooning on the spot.
The front door swings open before we even reach it, Trina and Ada standing there with beaming smiles on their faces.
"Welcome, I'm so happy you could make it." Ada says, clapping her hands together.
"Ada, how are you? Thankyou for inviting us, its been way too long. This is my wife Pam and my stepsons Noah and Chase."
"I'm good Phil and I'm so excited to meet all of you."
She doesn’t bat at eyelash at my Dad introducing Noah. He has no idea that they've already met and Ada sure aint giving anything away.
"Thankyou so much for inviting us to your home, I've heard so much about you, Liv speaks so highly of you." Pam says with a sweet smile.
Ada gives me a warm smile and opens to door wider.
"Come on in, come on in. We cant have you standing out in the cold." She says with a slight chuckle.
We head in, Ada giving my arm a slight squeeze as I walk past her.
"You ok?" She whispers, looking me in the eye.
She's obviously heard about yesterday with Trina and Noah. It's not often I have meltdowns, so having almost two in one day is obviously cause for concern. I nod and smile and feel touched that she would think to ask. On one hand, I feel incredibly blessed to have Ada and Trina in my life, I've been treated like one of the family. On the other hand though, a part of me is resentful that she had to take on the role of Mother to me. My resentment isnt towards her, god no, just at the Bitch who couldn’t give a shit and left it to someone else to do the job she should have been doing. I'd take Ada over the Bitch any day of the week though, the Bitch can go jump off a cliff, hopefully she will.
"You have a lovely home, Ada." Pam says while staring around the bright room.
"Liv, you wanna help me set the table?" Trina asks, though the look she gives me relays a different message, one that says I better get my ass in the dining room cause she wants all the juicy details.
"I wont be long." I say to Noah quietly as I hear an excited squeal from Pam when Ada brings up that damn picture. I roll my eyes, thankful I'll get to miss this shit.
I follow Trina's through to the country style dining room. Nobody can say Ada doesn’t have eclectic tastes in décor, the woman has a different theme in every fucking room of the house. I take a glance at the already set up table and roll my eyes, not really surprised that there's nothing for me to do.
Out of nowhere a loud squeal causes me to jump out of my fucking skin before two arms are wrapped tightly around me.
"The fuck-"
"Oh Liv, I'm so excited." Trina squeals, jumping up and down, jolting me a-fucking-bout.
She's either lost her freaking mind or she's possessed, only explanations there could be for the fact my formerly badass best friend has turned into a banshee. I extract her arms from round my neck and step away, my face an expression of what I'm sure is horror.
"The hell is wrong with you?" I ask, more than a little freaked out at her outburst. "I knew I shouldn’t have left, you’ve spent too much unsupervised time round those ninnys at school, you're turning into one of them."
"Oh hush you, I am not and I'm insulted you'd think the brainless bunch can influence me. This Liv, is happiness. I never thought it would happen and even when I was talking to you on the phone and I could tell there was something different, I still didn’t fully believe it. I've seen it with my own two eyes now though, like a Christmas miracle."
"Um, I hate to break it to you but Christmas is a while away yet and what's with all this taLking in riddle and shit?"
She walks over to me and takes both my hands in her own.
"He's it Boo."
"Who? What?"
"He's your forever love, I never saw someone look at anyone like he does you, like you’re the only person in existence and you give him that look right back." Her words are a gentle whisper, as if the words are precious and fragile. "Don’t close your heart off, I know I rib you about your exploits and whatever but I want nothing more than for you to heal."
I go to open my mouth but a finger is put against my lips
as if to shush me. I'm definitely going soft or its because its Trina, anyone else would have got their finger broken.
"I know, you ain't got no healing to do blah blah blah." Though her words are mocking, her facial expression is kind and understanding. "I may not know what went down but I like to think I know you well enough to know something did. You are my best friend Liv, always will be. As my best friend, I want nothing more than for you to be happy and healthy. You may not have admitted it out loud yet, but that guy out there, he's the one to do it."
I can only stare at my best friend, my pseudo sister, in wonder. I wish I could tell her but I can't even find my voice at the moment to utter a single thing, never mind my deepest darkest secret. I don’t know why but ever since Noah came into my life, it feels like it's trying to burst out, like I need to scream it from the rooftops and then it won't linger anymore. I swallow and give a simple nod, my mouth clenched closed to stop the emotion begging to be released. I don’t think I've felt so many feelings in years, its bullshit. Trina gives my hands a squeeze and sending a wink my way before letting go, walking out of the room and leaving me there alone. This weekend has been more than emotionally taxing, I feel like I'm being battered from all sides. Taking a deep breath, I follow her out of the room back to the others.
Chapter 22
Noah
She's impossibly beautiful, that’s the thought running through my head when Liv comes back into the room. I can't read the expression on her face, she went in there all smiling and came out looking just.......blank. All I know is that sure as shit aint the look of someone who's just had a happy as fuck conversation.
Liv sits down next to me on the sofa, giving me a tight smile that’s fake as fuck, I can see right through it.
"Oh Liv, is that you?" My Mom asks, pointing to a picture of Liv and Trina on the mantle.
They can be no more than thirteen in the picture, both looking young and carefree, their arms around each others shoulders and smiles a mile wide.
"I think that was Trina's thirteenth birthday." Ada answers. "We hadn't lived in Atlanta long so we went to all the local attractions that day. The Aquarium, museums, the girls ran through the Fountain. Anyway, let's go through to the dining room, dinner should be just about done."
We follow Ada into a cozy looking dining room with a big round table. I pull Liv's seat out, forgetting myself for a moment. That just makes a rod for my own back since I then have to seat every damn woman at the table so it doesn’t look suspicious. Chase the fucking smartass stands and waits for him to get the same treatment, all he gets is a slap round the head.
Ada brings out bowls and bowls of food, setting them out in the middle of the table, the woman sure can cook. I'd come back to Atlanta again just to taste her cooking.
"So, where is it you lived before Atlanta, Ada?" My Mom asks cutting into her chicken.
"We originally came from Savannah, my Mother still lives there and we visit when we can. I was offered a job by a pharmaceutical company and you know how it is, the pay was better, the healthcare better so we moved down here. The first day Trina gained a friend in Liv and I gained a second daughter." Ada says, smiling warmly at my girl whose face just lights up.
"Savannah? I come from Savannah myself, the boys father came from Franklin and I moved there just before we got married. I do miss Savannah though."
This is the first time I've ever heard my Mom mention missing Savannah. Of course, I know she came from there originally and my Dad Franklin. They met at a high school football game, my Dad was the Quarterback and my Mom a cheerleader for the opposing team. They dated throughout their senior year before getting engaged their first year of college. I swiftly followed, my Mom always called me her honeymoon baby which was way too mching fucking information for me.
"Really, I went to Windsor Forest High School."
"You're kidding? I went Sol C. Johnson."
This conversation's going right over my head, I haven't got a clue what they're talking about. Suddenly, the sound of a cell phone ringing echoes through the floor before Phil pulls his phone out of the pocket of his slacks, frowning as he looks at the screen. It's like half seven in the evening, who the hell could be calling him?
"Excuse me, I just need to take this call real quick."
He scrapes the chair back and makes a swift exit from the room.
"Probably work, that man does nothing but." My Mom says, smiling.
There are three loud snorts upon her words, me, Chase and Liv. For some strange reason my Mom always makes on that Phil is a workaholic, probably that weird thing women do to make themselves look better. I don’t know what the hell he does, something to do with computers or some shit, all I know is every morning he leaves the house in a suit, carrying a briefcase. He's told us tons of time what he does for work, all I remember is that its boring as fuck. As for him being a workaholic, we've all caught him sitting on the couch in the middle of the day eating potato chips and watching CSI. The guy has more sick days than anyone I know and my Mom still hasn’t clocked on. The guy only has to stub a toe and he takes a day off, fuck knows what hes gonna do when he actually gets sick.
"He does nothing but sit on his ass more like." Liv mumbles and I bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself laughing.
"So, have you got any plans before leaving tomorrow?" Ada asks as Phil comes back into the room.
"That was quick dear, was it work again?"
I notice the tick in Phils jaw, the guys obviously pissed off about somethng.
"It was nothing, as you were saying Ada, yeah I think I'm gonna take everyone to Peachtree Creek." Livs fork drops from her hand and she looks up as if someone just punched her in the stomach. "I used to take Liv when she was younger, she loved it there."
I don’t take my eyes from Livs face, which seems to be getting paler by the second if that’s even fucking possible. Trina, whose sitting the other side of her is also looking, instead of concern on her face, she looks wary, as if Liv's about to blow the fuck up. Yet again, I feel like I'm missing something, like I'm in the fcking dark and I don’t like it. I think me and Liv are due a chat, she's my girl at the end of the day, I don’t think she should be hiding sit from me. Hell, I told her about my plans after high school, not even Brady knows that shit. It's definitely not something I'm looking forward to telling him either, guys gonna freak.
I'm so connected to my girl, I can almost feel her breathing accelerate and see the beads of sweat on her head.
"Um, I just need some air, I'll only be a sec." She says before rushing out the door, leaving a room full of very confused people.
Phil frowns for a second at Liv retreating back before joining back into the conversation. I make eye contact with Trina, a silent message passed between us that says "Who's gonna go after her? You or me?"
I give a nod to give my answer.
"Excuse me for a second, I'm just gonna go check on Liv." My Mom frowns before rejoining the conversation.
I leave the room, glancing through to the kitchen and Living room. She said she needed air so I'm guessing shes outside, shit I hope she hasn’t run again, I haven't got my car with me this time. I go through the front door to see her sitting on the steps to the porch. Her long golden hair blowing under the wind, her knees brought up to her chest. I can hear her taking deep breaths in and out and rush over to her, laying a hand on her shoulder which near enough makes her jump out her fucking skin. What the fuck?
I crouch down next to her so they we are eye to eye.
"Are you ok?"
Has she got asthma or something? I remember her saying she's allergic to shellfish, maybe its that but I don’t think there was any of that in the food. The unshed tears in her eyes, the quivering of her bottom lip and the hand on her chest tell me that there is nothing physically wrong with her, just emotional.
"Hey, hey, calm down, just take a deep breath in and out."
She frantically nods she sucks the air deeply into her lungs before blowing it back
out again. I've never seen her like this before, she looks.........broken. As if something fucking terrible has happened. I can feel my own heart racing with fear, what the hell is wrong with her? My insides are screaming at the utter helplessness I feel at the situation. Outside, I'm calm as a cucumber, no point getting myself into a mess, what use am I to Liv then?
"Im ok." Her voice crack on the last word as she blinks furiously, trying to dispel the tears that are just waiting to fall.
I put my arms around her small frame, pulling her into my side.
"Talk to me. What happened just then?"
Her body shakes like a leaf, she doesn’t answer though, just sits looking towards the street, her mind somewhere else. What I'd do to see inside her mind, to see that she sees and feel what she feels. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle, how can you fight something that’s in somebody else's head? I don’t care how many times she says she's fine, I know different. If the little things she does didn’t clue me in, then just the pit I get in my stomach does. I know deep down, down to my very core that I'm missing something.
"Please talk to me babe, let me help you."
She clears her throat, throwing her shoulders back.
"I'm fine Noah, it was really hot in there." Is this girl for real?
"Are you fucking kidding me? You were near enough having a fucking panic attack in there, Liv. Are you seriously gonna tell me that all that was cause you were too fucking hot?"
She doesn’t look at me, just carries on looking towards the street.
"We better get back in, they'll be wondering where we are. Come on."
I can only stare at her, completely dumbfounded. Maybe she's had a mental fuckng break or something or she's just plain in denial. She's just sweeping it under the rug and running away from her problems, it’s a pattern I've noticed with her. If she has a problem, she runs. She ran from the car that time we first kissed, she ran from the house when we found out her Mom was in the hospital, she ran from the hospital after the fight with her Mom. She needs to face up to her problems though, that’s the only way to get over them. You can't just avoid things until they go away, especially if the main problem is in your own head.
Forever Love Page 18