“It…it is,” she sobbed. “I’m so grateful to have you to turn to.”
Had I missed something? She didn’t have me to turn to. What the hell was happening?
“Trace, are you still there?”
“Yeah, I’m here.”
“I’m so glad I can lean on you during this difficult time.”
I had to put a stop to this right now. “Angelina, I’m not trying to be mean or rude, but you gave up your rights to have me to lean on the moment you slept with Derrick. I’m not interested in any kind of relationship with you.”
“I know I hurt you and I’ve apologized. But we’re business partners, so we’re going to have some sort of relationship. Whether it’s friendly or not is up to you. But I definitely want it to be friendly.”
And there it was. Motive. Whatever belonged to Derrick now belonged to her. She had everything he had worked so hard to accomplish. Part of which was a stake in my company. Son of a bitch.
“Angelina, I’m aware that we work together and of course I want that relationship to be amiable. But outside of work, there’s nothing between us. I hope you can understand. We didn’t get married. You married my best friend instead.”
“Trace, we more than work together and you know it. Now that Derrick is gone, you and I are partners. We’re the ones to carry on his legacy and make sure the company thrives.”
It wasn’t bad enough Derrick was dead. His widow was in charge of his assets and I was never going to be rid of her. This was a nightmare of epic proportion. At least it didn’t sound like Derrick had told her everything about our partnership. I had the upper hand and planned to keep it for as long as I could.
“We’ll get everything worked out. I’m glad to hear you want to preserve Derrick’s memory by making the company succeed. Derrick and I have poured our hearts and souls into this place.” I didn’t know what else to say. I wasn’t sure what I was dealing with where she was concerned. But, she was making her agenda clear that she wanted my company. Had she killed Derrick for his shares of the company? “Listen, I need to go. I have an appointment.”
“Okay. Call me later.”
“Sure.”
My chest felt like a boa constrictor was wrapped around it, squeezing hard. Angelina was dangerous. If I hadn’t caught her and Derrick, would I be the one in the morgue right now? That was too much to even think about. But she had made her point. It was clear to me she had more than a vested interest in my company, she wanted to control it. What was she going to do when she realized the terms of the agreement Derrick and I had in place? It wasn’t going to be pretty, but I could probably put it off until after the memorial service.
All I could do now was wait for Jack to come up with something on her. She clearly wasn’t what or who she seemed.
Chapter 26: Lindy
I had managed to put Randy off on setting a wedding date, but it was apparent he didn’t want to have a long engagement. I really didn’t either since the plan was to have a simple affair. He had just caught me off guard by bringing up dates. Before he left my place, he suggested we get married within a month. I told him I would think it over. So far, I hadn’t come up with any reason why we couldn’t.
Driving to work, I daydreamed about having the day off to relax or just do whatever I wanted. But instead, I’d be spending my day with a bunch of truckers who didn’t seem to know how to keep their hands to themselves. Hopefully, the bright shiny object on my left ring finger would discourage some of them. I really needed to get another job. Maybe I could work for Randy after we were married.
To say that my life had been a roller coaster ride the past couple of weeks was a gross understatement. More had transpired since I went to Maui than in the last three years. Thinking of my time there brought a warm sensation to my body. It had been special, almost as special as having Dane in my life, but it had also ended abruptly. During my couple of days in fairy-tale land the romantic in me thought maybe Trace was the one. My future husband. He was the total package—smart, kind, successful, drop-dead gorgeous. I rebuked myself for such foolish thoughts. How would it have been possible? He was there to pick up the pieces of his broken heart. It astonished me that any woman could hurt him like that, though.
Since it was clear to me that I wasn’t going to be with Trace, I had to consider why we met. Our paths crossed for a reason. Was it simply that he was the one to help me move on? The one to make me feel again? The one to make me believe in love? I really had no idea. But he had done all of those things and more. My soul felt revived for having known him, even if just for a short while.
Parking my car, I had to put all of these thoughts out of my head. It was time for my shift. After that, I could talk it all out with Ro.
I punched in and got out on the floor, beginning to take orders. Most of the guys today were regulars, so I pretty much could do their orders without even asking them what they wanted. Creatures of habit.
“That sure is a big diamond ring you have on, Lindy,” said Jimmy.
“Thank you.”
“When did this happen and if you were available, how come I didn’t know? I would have liked to have put my bid in for your hand.”
“Jimmy, we’ve gone over this before,” I said shaking my head. “You’re incorrigible.”
“That may be, but I know a fine woman when I see her, even if she is half my age,” he said with a chuckle. “I’ll have my usual.”
“Coming right up, Jimmy.”
I seemed to have some sort of instant replay button because I relived the same conversation at almost every table. The guys were funny. They all appeared to be put off that I had agreed to marry someone else and not them. In a weird way, it made me feel appreciated.
My shift went by quickly and I had the rest of the evening to spend with Ro. I had texted her to come over to my place and bring Chinese food. Waiting all day to talk to her had been awful.
I got home about thirty minutes before she was due to come over. A shower was a must after working in a greasy spoon all day. We’d been busy which had kept me from thinking too much. But that all changed when I got into the shower. The water cascading over my body brought me right back to Maui and showering with Trace. Closing my eyes, I could feel his hands washing my body, his fingers finding their way between my thighs, caressing me in the most intimate way. Thoughts of him elevated my heart rate, making me gush on the inside. I still wanted him even though I’d just been a distraction to him. I had a feeling I would always have a special place in my heart for Trace. He was the first man I had been close to since I lost Dane. In a way, he had brought me back to life and I was grateful for that even if I didn’t get to spend that life with him. Part of me wished I’d had the courage to stay and hear him out in Maui instead of running away. But I didn’t and now I was going to stick with the decision I’d made.
I was out of the shower and getting ready when Ro walked in. She had bags in her hands from the local Chinese restaurant.
“It smells so good,” I said as she placed the bags on the table.
“I know, I’m starved.”
I handed her a plate and we began opening containers, scooping out rice, beef and broccoli, sweet and sour shrimp, and egg rolls. Ro always got egg rolls. I think they were her favorite part besides the fortune cookies.
“So, how was your day?” she asked, her look somewhat concerned.
“It was fine. A lot of the regulars took notice of my ring.”
“I bet they did. How are you feeling about having that ring on your finger?” Her face had become a little more serious. She took my hand in hers, inspecting it.
Ro always knew how to get to the heart of the matter. “I’m a little unsure. I have to admit, I’ve been thinking about Trace…a lot.”
“It’s only normal that you would think about him. In so many ways, he breathed life back into you. He made you feel things you forgot existed.”
“Maybe that was his purpose. I’ve been trying to figure out why we met.”
“Has he stopped calling and texting you?”
“Yes, it’s been a few days. Part of me wants to call him, but I don’t want to be in the middle of whatever’s going on in his life.”
“So, let me make sure I understand. You’ve accepted Randy’s proposal, but you are still thinking about Trace.”
I hung my head. “Yes,” I whispered.
“Are your feelings for Randy anywhere near as intense as your feelings for Trace? You thought you loved him.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I found passion with Trace that I hadn’t felt since… Randy and I have kissed, but it didn’t feel the same.”
“I see. So, you think the reason you met Trace was to what, help you get to a place where you can open your heart to a man again?”
“Something like that. I’m not entirely sure.”
“Lindy, why did you really run? Not the excuse you gave me about him being on the rebound. The real reason.”
I moved the food around my plate, contemplating Ro’s question. “I was scared of the feelings I was having for him,” I said, working at keeping my voice even. On the inside, I was shaking. “He got under my skin and it freaked me out. I realized he had the power to hurt me.”
“Lindy, that’s love. When you love someone, they have a lot of power in your life. But if it’s the right person, their power makes you better…stronger. Their love is a miracle. Like what you had with Dane.”
“Dane was special. What we had was special.”
“Do you think if you found something like what you had with Dane you would be tarnishing his memory?”
I stared blankly at my best friend. How did she do that? She knew me too well. “Ro, what I felt for Trace, words can’t adequately describe. Up until the phone call from the front desk, it was like no one else in the world existed except us. Being with him filled the empty hole in my heart Dane had left behind.”
“I see. So it was that powerful.”
“It was.”
“And you’re willing to give that up?”
“What do you mean?” Ro had lost me with that question. I didn’t have it anymore. I’d already given it up.
“You don’t want that kind of love in your life?”
“Well, of course I do.”
“But, you let him go. You let that love go. And now you’re engaged to a man you don’t love.”
“I could learn to love Randy. He’s a good man and he loves me.”
“I agree. You could, but you’re already in love with Trace. Doesn’t Randy deserve better than you could learn to love him?”
Ro’s words cut through me like a hot knife through butter. “I hadn’t thought about that.”
“Well, don’t you think Randy wants you to love him the way you have described your feelings for Trace? Isn’t that what everyone wants?”
“Yes, I would imagine it is. I’m sure he wants me to love him as much as he loves me. But I’m not there yet.”
“What if you don’t get there? Do you want to spend your life surviving it or do you want to live it with passion?”
“Survival or passion. Are those my only two choices?”
“Of course not. You could fall madly in love with Randy. That is a possibility.” Ro had her eyebrows raised and her head tilted. I knew that look. It was the who-are-you-trying-to-convince-here look.
“But you think it’s a slim possibility.”
“Well, you’ve known him for years. He’s been here for you since Dane died, yet you never saw him. You’ve never looked at him as a man you could be with. Only as a friend. But, you saw Trace in Maui and you gave him your heart.”
“My time in Maui with Trace was incredibly sexy and romantic, but it wasn’t everyday life.”
“That’s true, but could you see yourself doing everyday life with Trace?”
She had me again. “Yes, I could. But I can also see it with Randy. Safe, predictable Randy.” I didn’t have to be afraid of being hurt by Randy. But if I never loved him like he deserved, would I be hurting him?
Chapter 27: Trace
I’d somehow managed to have most of my interactions with Angelina take place via text. Talking to her had been beyond uncomfortable and I had insisted she take some time off from work to take care of herself. At least that’s what she thought the reason was. I just couldn’t deal with her and her manipulation. So, I painted a picture of how Derrick would want her to rest and have some time to grieve. Making it about honoring Derrick worked. She couldn’t argue with a dead man’s wishes. Or perhaps she wouldn’t dare.
Between Derrick’s parents and me, we had everything scheduled for the memorial. The wake afterward would take place at their home. I just hoped a brawl wouldn’t break out between Olivia and Angelina. The tox screen came back negative for any kind of drugs in Derrick’s system, but his mom was convinced regardless that Angelina had something to do with his accident. I was as well, but I didn’t share my suspicions with anyone. The background check came back squeaky clean also. So much for finding a legal way to remove her from my life. Maybe I could buy her out of my company. Hopefully, what she really wanted was money.
Looking in the mirror, I fumbled with my tie. Shaking hands didn’t help the situation. I hated that today was the day I’d be laying my best friend to rest. But what was even worse was the fact that he’d died knowing we weren’t friends anymore. What he had done was pretty despicable, but if I had known he was going to die I never would have told him we weren’t friends. I probably would have just said I needed space. But, I can’t take it back. None of it could be undone…their affair, my reaction, him making the fatal mistake of marrying her. All of it kept reminding me that life was fragile and short, which led me to think of my beautiful Lindy. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her, but I had stopped contacting her. Clearly, she didn’t want to hear what I had to say. Shit. But, I couldn’t blame her. I had withheld information from her. Information she obviously thought was very important. I had gambled and lost. I could have told her the truth the very first night, but I figured I was being smart. Not so smart after all.
The ringing of my doorbell brought me out of my funk. “It’s open,” I yelled, hoping my parents and sisters would hear me.
“Are you ready? We don’t want to be late,” Kristie called out.
“Almost. This tie is kicking my ass for some reason.”
Kristie appeared in the mirror behind me. “Here, let me help you.”
Our eye contact said more than words ever could. She knew I was in pain. She also knew she was the only one I would let see it. She’d been through this with me before when Jake died. Now, here we were again. Tragic, unnecessary loss looming over us like a black cloud…or maybe a black widow. Kristie had been instrumental in helping me work through my feelings back then, so I had no doubts she would do the same now.
“There,” she said. “You’re all put together.”
“Thanks. I don’t know how—”
“You don’t have to say anything. I’m here. Whatever you need.”
Pulling my sister in for a hug was the comfort I needed. Her love calmed me. It always had.
“I guess we better go,” I said, dread welling up inside. I didn’t want to say goodbye to Derrick and I certainly didn’t want to see Angelina. But it was all out of my control.
The drive over with my parents was quiet. My sisters followed behind with their husbands. Thankfully, my parents didn’t have the need to make idle small talk. Being lost in my own thoughts, I wouldn’t have been paying attention to them anyway.
Guilt crashed over me as my focus strayed from Derrick’s death to meeting Lindy when she almost fell into the ocean. Closing my eyes, I could feel her in my arms. I had to do something. I couldn’t let her go. In my heart, I knew we had met for a reason. When all of this settled down, I was going to reach out to her again. Maybe she’d listen to me then. I had to figure out a way to get through to her.
Arriving at the church, a lump
formed in my throat. Today made it final. Derrick was gone and I’d never see him again. Flashes of Jake’s funeral streaked through my mind. I hated this. I fucking hated it all.
Up ahead was Angelina, dressed all in black…her dress, her stockings, her heels, everything. Grateful for a moment to myself before it all began, I hung back, letting others pass me by. Kristie caught on and backtracked toward me.
“Not ready yet?”
“No, I guess not.”
“You’re thinking about Jake, aren’t you?”
How did she always know? “Yes.”
Kristie took my hand and squeezed it. “I wish I could make it better, but I don’t know how.”
“You are making it better.”
My sister and I walked into the sanctuary together. Sitting toward the front, I caught a glimpse of Angelina out of my peripheral vision. She was staring at me, but I couldn’t look at her. I kept my eyes on Derrick’s urn. It was simple in stature like the urn Lindy had for her husband. Pastor Steven’s began the service. I had to admit, he sounded like the Charlie Brown teacher; sounds were leaving his mouth but not making sense to me. Taking in a deep breath, I forced myself to listen as he read Psalm 23 from the Bible. Derrick’s mom had chosen it. The words washed over me. “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters; He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely Your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord.”
“I love this Psalm,” Kristie mumbled under her breath.
“Me too,” I whispered to her. It brought me back to childhood, going to church with my parents, learning about the love of God. The words gave me peace, knowing that no matter what, somehow, everything was going to be okay.
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