He was going down hard.
This time he was the one to step back. Giving himself a second to let his breathing settle down, he finally said, “You’re making me crazy, woman.”
“I feel so bad.” She laughed and didn’t look like she felt bad about a single thing.
“I can tell.”
She shrugged. “Sometimes it just feels right.”
He couldn’t argue the point. He’d been thinking the same thing since they met. “Damn straight. It feels more than right.”
Her face grew serious and she took his hands in hers. “It does, doesn’t it? What do you think this is between us?”
Paul shook his head. “Damned if I know.”
“Have you ever felt this way before?”
For a long moment he stared into her eyes. He’d already got himself into a whole crapload of trouble by rushing something that shouldn’t have happened in the first place. Did he really want to jump off the dock again? Yeah, he did. “No.”
A slow smile pulled up the corners of her mouth. Damn, but she was beautiful. “I haven’t either.”
“What are we going to do about it?” He sure as hell didn’t know. What he did know was that he wanted to see where this thing with Lisa might go. She awakened something in him that both scared and excited him.
Lisa took his hand, turned it over, and kissed his palm. “We’ll take it one step at a time. Who knows? We could be long-lost soul mates.”
The thought made him laugh even as the words hit his heart with a seriousness he would never admit to. “Maybe we are, and maybe I should head out before we try to find out a little too quickly.”
“Would that be a bad thing?”
She had no idea how much he wanted to stay, but better sense won out. She was special. He’d known that the moment he met her, and he planned to be a big, mature guy and do this the right way. No hook-ups. No going straight to bed because it was the exciting thing to do. The one good thing to come out of the Brenda debacle was the realization he wanted more from life than superficial relationships. No more settling because it was easy.
“No,” he admitted slowly. “I have a feeling it would be a fantastic thing.”
“But?”
“But I think you’re special and I say we do this right.”
She closed the gap between them and threw her arms around his neck. Her hug was tight, her breasts pressed against his chest making the tightness in his jeans grow even tauter. “I could fall in love with you.”
His thoughts exactly. He kissed the side of her head. “Why don’t you walk me out to my car?”
“You’re sure you want to leave?”
Not in the least. “Yes. Not because I want to but only because I’m sure it’s the right thing to do.”
“As long as it’s not the thing you want to do.”
“Oh, baby, you have no idea how it’s the exact opposite of what I want to do.”
Chapter Fifteen
Outside, Diana heard the soft sound of a car pulling away. It had to be Paul leaving, which actually surprised her. A person would have to be blind to miss the sparks flying between him and Lisa. Good for him, taking the high road and all. Her car stayed cold and steady in the driveway. She wasn’t going anywhere.
“We’re doing this, aren’t we?” Circe’s voice was soft, her eyes steady on Diana’s.
“Only if you want to.” Please want to.
The smile Circe turned on her was dazzling. Instead of answering, she proceeded to slip out of her clothes, slowly and with deliberate movements. She had long, muscled thighs and softly curved calves. Her breasts were beautiful, with nipples that hardened as she stared at them. She wanted so badly to feel them in the palms of her hands, to feel the heat of skin against her own.
With her eyes still on Diana, Circe backed up until her legs touched the king-sized bed. She sat down with her back against the headboard and her feet flat, her knees spread slightly. It was the most erotic thing Diana had seen. It made her wet and hot.
“Well…” Circe drew out the single word.
Swallowing hard, Diana began to unbutton her shirt. She was certainly not the vision of beauty she saw in Circe. She was far more like one of the guys she worked with than a picture of femininity. Would Circe be disappointed?
Still watching Diana as she fumbled with buttons and snaps, Circe’s hand began to stroke between her legs. “I don’t want to have to handle this myself, but if you go any slower, I’m afraid you’ll miss out on the fun.”
“I’m hurrying,” she muttered and couldn’t keep the hitch out of her voice. God help her, the sight of Circe stroking herself almost undid Diana.
Any inhibition she harbored fled, and the last of her clothing hit the floor. She sat on the edge of the bed and for a moment simply watched Circe’s fingers stroke her own clit. It made her so wet. She grabbed Circe’s hand and brought it to her face, inhaling the musky scent on her fingers.
It was too much. She turned, dropped her head between Circe’s spread legs, and touched her tongue to the already-swollen clit. Circe’s moan let her know she’d hit just the right spot. Sliding her hands under Circe’s ass she brought her up and tasted every bit of her. As Circe’s moans grew louder, she tongued her clit as she slid two fingers inside. She was hot, wet, and tight.
Circe bucked as Diana slid her fingers in and out. She laid one hand on her flat belly. “Easy,” she said as she raised her head. “We have all night.”
“Then you have to stop touching me like that,” Circe gasped.
“Not going to happen.” Diana lowered her mouth again. As she licked and stroked in and out, Circe erupted. Diana continued to stroke her through the climax, loving the way she tightened around her fingers.
“Diana,” Circe said on a sigh. “I think I want to marry you.”
Laughing, Diana pushed up until she was lying next to Circe. She kissed her hard, a hand on one of her beautiful breasts. Her chest was still heaving from the intensity of her orgasm. “You probably say that to all the girls.”
“Oh, baby, you are no girl, and I always figured that when someone could make me see heaven, she was the one I’d marry.” She turned on her side and gave Diana a wicked smile. “But now that I’ve seen heaven, I think it’s time to make you see it too.”
She rolled over on top of Diana, and any argument she might have had disappeared the second Circe’s hand slid between her legs.
*
“Where have you been?”
Paul’s hand flew to the gun at his waist and he had it halfway out of the holster before recognition settled in. Slowly he lowered the gun back into the holster. Son of a bitch, she’d blindsided him again. When he’d pulled up in the driveway he didn’t see Brenda sitting on the back steps. Of course she was wearing all black, and even her pale hair was pulled up beneath the dark hood of her sweatshirt. Come to think of it, kind of a weird outfit for the woman who liked to look as though she’d just stepped out of Talbots. Pretty functional threads for a stalker though.
The glow he’d enjoyed since his kiss with Lisa vanished in an instant. “Oh, Jesus Christ, Brenda. What. Do. You. Want?”
All he could think about right at this second was Will’s call with the news that blondie had spent time in a mental institution. He’d made a huge mistake the day he opened his home to her, and ever since it appeared he was going to pay for it forever. He’d give anything if she’d just go the hell away permanently. Whatever institution had unlocked her door had made a big mistake.
“I asked, where have you been?”
The tone of her voice cracked his already brittle nerves. “None of your fucking business.”
She jumped to her feet and the hood of her sweatshirt dropped away. Her hair was a mess and he couldn’t recall ever seeing it that way. She looked like another person, a stranger with wild eyes and tight lips. “You’ve been with her, haven’t you? I can smell her on you.”
Standing a good three feet away, he ran his hands through his
hair. Rage roiled inside him and it took tremendous effort to keep his words calm. He refused to give her the satisfaction of knowing she got under his skin. “Look, Brenda, you have to stop this. You can’t come around here.” He wasn’t going to get into it with her. Never again.
“That’s just stupid. Of course I can come around any time I want to. You just have to stop seeing that woman. It’s not fair to me and it’s not right. I deserve to be treated better.” She rubbed the back of her hand over her eyes, smearing black mascara across her pale skin. It gave her a raccoon-like appearance.
“You don’t deserve anything because this has nothing to do with you. We’re over and have been for a long time. You need to get that through your head.” He tapped the side of his head with one finger. “We’re over. In fact we never really were.”
She was pouting and he didn’t think any of this was getting through to her, so he pushed harder. “If you don’t stop coming by here or my office, or anywhere else I’m at, I won’t have any choice except to get a restraining order. I don’t think you want me to do that.”
She pushed her hand through her tangled hair and bit her lip. “You wouldn’t do that to me. You love me.” For the first time she sounded unsure. Her black-ringed eyes blinked and blinked.
He closed his eyes, counted to ten, and then opened them again to stare at her. He had to go in for the kill if this thing was ever going to end. “I do not love you, Brenda. I have never loved you and I never will. It was huge mistake to move in together, and I blame myself for that one. I’m trying to correct the mistake now and be honest with you. I don’t love you. The sooner you make peace with that fact the easier it’s going to be. Stop coming by here or I will take legal steps.”
Her eyes stayed on his as she moved from the steps to the walkway. Her confidence seemed to have returned, her posture erect, her voice firm. “It’s her, I know it is, and soon you’ll see that I’m right.”
The tone in her voice chilled him and Will’s words came back to him. “She was in a mental institution.” God, what he wouldn’t give to send her straight back.
“Are you threatening me?” His hand strayed to the gun at his belt once again.
She actually looked surprised and her words softened. “Threatening you? Of course not. I love you and I don’t care what you say. I know you love me too.” Her smile was tinged with what he could only describe as craziness.
He moved his hand from his gun to the cell-phone pocket clipped on his belt and wondered if maybe he’d let this go too far. He couldn’t reason with Brenda, not when she was in this state of mind, and people like that could be volatile. It might be time to let go of his ego and call it in. While he didn’t want to believe she was dangerous, how did he know for certain she wouldn’t do something violent? The answer was simple: he didn’t.
“You need to go, Brenda. Now.” All he needed to press were three little buttons: 911.
For a moment he thought she’d keep arguing. The expression of stubbornness was all over her face, and he’d dealt with her like that before. Suddenly her face cleared and she shrugged. “We’ll talk later when you’ve had a chance to see I’m right.”
She walked away without looking back, and even though she was gone, he couldn’t shake an uneasy feeling that something bad was going to happen.
*
Circe came awake slowly. At first she was confused by the warm weight next to her, and then she smiled as it all came back to her in the glow of recollection. She reached out and brushed the hair from Diana’s sleeping face. Just the memory of their lovemaking sent warmth flooding through her body.
She was no virgin by any stretch, yet she couldn’t remember anything that even came close to what they’d shared. It went beyond intimacy and that was new to her. Scary as hell too. She had so many secrets.
A sound made her turn her head, and as her eyes adjusted to the darkness of her bedroom, it was all she could do to stifle a scream. Four women stood near the doorway, the same four women whose bodies they’d discovered just this week. Around them a pale light glowed as if the setting sun was shining down up on them. Their faces were clear in the otherwise darkened room.
She pushed up to a sitting position and stared. This couldn’t be possible; it had never happened before. Four sets of eyes stared back at her, proving to her how wrong she could be. It was very possible. One stepped forward. It was Joanna, Diana’s friend. “Help her.” The two words were clear and said in a voice soft yet full of pain.
Fear shot through Circe and this time she couldn’t suppress the gasp. It wasn’t the appearance of the women alone that sent fear coursing through her. It was their plea. She wanted to ask who needed help yet knew it was pointless. They never heard her even though she could hear them.
“Help her,” Joanna said again. The intensity of the anguish in the two words tore at Circe’s heart.
This time, Circe couldn’t stop herself. “Who?” she cried. “Who do you want me to help?” Maybe, just maybe they would hear her now. If the rules of her gift changed and the dead suddenly came to her, then perhaps for the first time they would also be able to hear her.
Diana shot up from the bed and reached for her gun. Earlier, she’d laid it on the nightstand and now it was in her hand. The reaction had been one fluid motion from sleep to armed combat.
“What’s wrong?” she asked without even a trace of sleep in her voice.
Circe’s heart was still pounding and a tear traced down her cheek. What could she tell her? How could she make her understand or even believe what just happened? The moment Diana came out of the bed, Joanna and the women who stood quietly behind her vanished. In the doorway now was nothing but empty darkness and the echo of a heart-wrenching plea.
“Nothing,” she lied and wiped away the teardrop with the back of her hand.
Diana did a three-sixty before she slowly laid the gun back on the nightstand. She flipped on the bedside lamp and sat down next to Circe. With one finger under her chin, she turned Circe’s face until she was gazing into her eyes. Circe could tell she wasn’t buying the lie.
“Try again,” she said. Her dark eyes were intense as they studied her.
She couldn’t come up with an explanation that would make sense. This situation went way beyond her reality of being able to see dead people. What had just happened was a new wrinkle to her so-called gift. The spirits of the departed did not show up in her bedroom, not once, and she’d been seeing them for a very long time. If she couldn’t explain it to herself, how exactly could she explain it to Diana without giving her a credible reason to commit her? Not quite the way she wanted to start a beautiful new relationship. Diana was sure to think her certifiable.
And maybe she was. Seeing dead people out in the world was a little insane all by itself. Having dead people show up in her bedroom went beyond crazy. Now she was bringing them home. No, she couldn’t tell her. Out of the question.
“Tell me,” Diana demanded. Her words were firm, but her eyes held a softness that let Circe know she was safe. “I know something’s going on inside that beautiful head of yours. Remember, I’m a trained professional. I know when people want to confess.”
Diana might be offering her safety in return for confession, and still she couldn’t summon the courage to bare her soul. Instead, Circe opted for distraction. After all, she was stark naked, and it was hard to think about what had happened when she felt so exposed. She got up and, from the back of the bathroom door, grabbed her fleece robe. Diana didn’t appear to suffer from the same feeling of exposure. She was still totally naked and staring at her, waiting patiently. Again, she couldn’t concentrate.
Diana rested her back against the headboard and patted the bed next to her. “Sit down, take a breath, and just tell me.” Her request under normal circumstances would be quite reasonable. Normal wasn’t exactly a realm she existed in.
“It’s not that simple.”
“Oh yeah, it is.”
Easy for her to say. Diana wa
sn’t the one who spent her entire life surrounded by death. She didn’t walk down the street and come face-to-face with the recently departed. She didn’t go for a hike and find a lost soul wandering among the pines.
For the first time in a really long while, she felt like maybe she was losing her mind. While it had taken most of a lifetime, she’d managed to carve out an existence that made sense and life had been going along pretty well. All it took was a serial killer leaving bodies all over her city to turn her life upside down. Somehow she needed to make sense of everything happening.
Her hands were trembling and her heart pounding. She could keep everything bottled up and slowly lose her mind, or…
She stared across the room at Diana, wishing she could see what was in her heart as clearly as she’d seen the four women standing in her bedroom. Sharing might not hurt, and maybe, just maybe, it might help. Taking Diana up on her invitation, she sat on the bed, turned so she was facing her, and crossed her legs. For a minute she stared at her clasped hands, not having the courage to look into Diana’s eyes. “All right, I’m going on faith here, and I need you to keep an open mind.”
“I will.” Diana put a finger under her chin and drew her head up so their eyes locked. “Tell me.”
“I don’t think you understand. I need you to keep a very open mind.”
Diana tilted her head as she studied Circe’s face. Circe could almost see the wheels turning inside. “I’m a pretty open person. You can trust me.”
How she wanted to. In her life she’d had so few she could truly trust, and it was a lonely place to live. Lonely and tiresome. To be able to talk about the things she saw would be huge. In fact it would almost make her feel normal.
She was standing on the edge of a cliff with two choices: turn around or jump. “All right.”
Diana put her hand over Circe’s clasped ones. “I’m not kidding, Circe. You can trust me with anything.”
With a trembling voice, she jumped. “For as long as I can remember, I’ve been able to see the dead.”
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