“I lost my temper.”
“Uh, no, you controlled yourself admirably, actually, I wanted to hit him and I didn’t even see what happened. I haven’t seen that side of you, though.”
“And?” Gabriel asked warily.
“And, I mean, I’d never condone violence but it was a little bit hot.”
Gabriel snorted. “Right. I haven’t hit anyone in decades.”
“You didn’t need to hit him, you scared the—Wait, back up, decades? I would’ve guessed you’d never punched anyone.”
“Is that an insult, or…?” Gabriel asked, but his lips had curved into a smile.
“Definitely not. But please give me details.”
Gabriel shrugged. “The night I met Natalie,” he said. “That’s sort of how we met. We were at a college party and these three guys had been bugging her for most of the evening, she was with a group of girls but they’d all sort of branched off, and these guys were…all over her. She was…beautiful, but she made it clear that she wasn’t interested in their attention.” He laughed, shaking his head.
“Actually, it’s funny—when she tells this story, she says that she saw me ‘creeping closer and closer’ and she wasn’t sure if I was going to be another asshole. But they kept circling like vultures, and I was sort of…making my way across the room a little at a time. It’s funny,” he repeated. “Looking back, anyway. At the time, though, not so much. One of them finally got more aggressive, decided to get handsy, and I pulled him back. He hit first, but I had him on the floor by the time his buddies got involved. He did get back up, although I’m not sure his nose has ever been the same. He was drunk enough to keep fighting, though.”
“Three on one?” Jack asked.
“I did alright for myself,” Gabriel answered.
Jack laughed. “I have no doubt,” he said.
“I got my ass kicked in the end,” Gabriel added with a grin, “but it took a while and by then, my roommate and a bunch of others jumped in to break things up.”
“And Natalie?” Jack asked.
“She wasn’t hurt,” Gabriel said. “And she let me walk her to her apartment, so I figured she’d decided I wasn’t so bad. And there I stood, dripping blood on her doorstep most likely, wondering if she might not be the answer to all my prayers.” He sighed. “I wanted her in…almost every way,” he murmured. Looking at Jack, he thought, I want you in every way.
“It’s going to be okay, Gabe,” Jack said.
Gabriel nodded again. With Jack, he felt calmer. Even so, he couldn’t rid himself of the nagging feeling that nothing was ever going to be the same.
Chapter Fourteen
“They asked if you sleep over at my house, and if you ever do anything that makes me uncomfortable.”
“Jesus Christ,” Gabriel muttered, running his hand through his hair.
“Wanna know what I told ‘em?” Alex asked as he paced the kitchen in agitation.
“That’s your—”
“I told ‘em they were making me uncomfortable by being homophobic pieces of shit,” Alex exclaimed, whirling toward him.
Gabriel uttered a short, surprised bark of laughter. “You didn’t,” he said.
“I did!” Alex answered.
Gabriel glanced at Jack, but Jack only shrugged and offered a small, sad smile.
“Alex,” Gabriel said, leaning forward. “I don’t want you getting yourself in trouble—Jack,” he added, turning his attention to Alex’s father.
“I’m not going to tell him not to fight,” Jack answered. “This world needs people willing to fight for what’s right.”
“Yes, but not for—”
“What? For you?” Jack interrupted, raising his eyebrows.
“I also told ‘em if they didn’t stop spreading lies about you, you’d sue ‘em for slander and I’d pay for the lawyer out of the trust fund from my dead gay father,” Alex continued, “and I’d get another lawyer to sue Sanderson for emotional trauma—”
“Okay, that’s enough,” Jack said mildly.
Alex dropped into a chair with a huff, his face flushed and his eyes bright.
In spite of himself, Gabriel laughed. “God help anyone who ever crosses you, kid,” he said. “But…this isn’t about being gay, Alex,” he said. “Sanderson didn’t even—”
“It will be, now,” Alex cut in.
Gabriel closed his mouth as the words settled like a weight into the pit of his stomach. He looked at Jack.
“Unfortunately, he’s right,” Jack said quietly. “That asshole might not have realized what he started, but the sad reality is, people are going to try to make it an issue. Even if you try to keep it private, you’ve already told the—”
“I’m not going to hide like I’ve done something wrong,” Gabriel said, feeling his face flush with anger. His hands were fisted on the table.
“It’s a shitty thing, Gabe,” Jack told him. His expression was sympathetic but not without its own anger. “And you shouldn’t have to deal with it, not now when you’re…settling into yourself, finally.”
“Fuck settling,” Gabriel said, and Jack lifted his eyebrows in surprise. “I’m fifty years old, I’m settled. It’s just none of their business.” He looked at Alex and drew a breath, forcing himself to relax. He opened his hands, flattening his palms onto the table.
“This isn’t fair, Mr. S,” Alex said. “And you shouldn’t put up with it. You should just quit and tell ‘em to shove it, but I don’t want—” He stopped himself.
“It’ll be okay, Alex,” Gabriel said. “No matter what happens.” He studied Alex’s face and saw the tears shimmering in his eyes, saw the set of his jaw and the creases of his face, and knew there was something else. “What?” he asked. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
Alex dragged his eyes from the table to meet Gabriel’s gaze. “It’s my fault,” he said, the words little more than a whisper.
Gabriel leaned forward. “No, Alex—”
“You don’t understand,” Alex cut in, shaking his head. “It is. I…I—” He glanced at his father and quickly way. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”
“What did you do?” Jack asked. His tone was gentle, but Alex flinched from the sound of it, and the guilt in his expression was undeniable.
“I sent pictures to Eliza,” he murmured. “From…from karaoke, a video of…of you singing Meghan Trainor and…” he trailed off, shaking his head.
“Alex,” Jack sighed, running a hand over his face.
Gabriel leaned back in his chair. “Sanderson saw them,” he guessed.
“He confiscated Eliza’s phone. She didn’t want to let him see but—”
“It’s not her fault,” Gabriel muttered automatically, but his mind was racing.
“So he did know about us before you told Rodgers,” Jack said.
Alex shook his head, though. “It wasn’t pictures of you two. Just…just Mr. S. I swear we weren’t making fun,” he told Gabriel, desperately.
“It’s okay,” Gabriel said.
Alex shook his head, and a tear rolled down his cheek. “We weren’t, I swear. I was only trying to make her laugh and—and she was the only other person who knew—so I just sent some funny videos and pictures, I didn’t say anything personal I promise and I don’t want you to think we were—”
“Alex. My ego’s not that fragile,” Gabriel said with a comforting smile. “It’s alright.”
“It’s not, this is all my fault. He saw me hug you and then he thought you took me to a bar, like I would…Like you would…” He swallowed with effort, looking disgusted.
Gabriel sighed. “I promise you it’s not your fault, hijo,” he said. “Doug Sanderson had a problem with me before I ever met Jack, and the fight about the Drama Club started before Eliza was hospitalized. If your pictures did anything, it was to confirm suspicions he must’ve already had. But at least I…understand a little better…”
“You thought he was accusing you of something to do with Eliza,” Jack su
ddenly realized aloud.
Gabriel looked at him. “I wasn’t sure what to think,” he admitted.
“That’s why you were so willing to fall on your sword and apologize, to spare her being questioned when she was already so…fragile.”
“Apologize?” Alex asked. “To who, Mr. Sanderson?”
“It crossed my mind,” Gabriel answered. “I had no idea what he was thinking, what he’d accused, and all I could think about was…damage control.”
“Damage to Eliza,” Jack said.
“To all the students, but especially her, yes,” Gabriel agreed.
“But not to yourself. Not your career, your reputation,” Jack said.
Gabriel looked at him. “You think it doesn’t piss me off? It does—I’m hurt, and sad, but I’m also angry. But there are some things that are more important, and—”
“Okay,” Jack interrupted, holding up a hand. “Okay,” he repeated. “I get it. I do. I’m just frustrated.” He exhaled and shook his head, looking at Alex. “You didn’t say anything about me being there, in your messages to Eliza?”
Alex shook his head. “She already knew. Here,” he said, opening the text exchange on his phone. “You can read it,” he told Gabriel, holding out the phone.
Gabriel shook his head. “I don’t need to see it,” he said quietly. Alex turned and held the phone toward Jack, instead. “Although if you have video of me singing, your dad probably wants a copy,” Gabriel added with a smile.
Jack snorted as he took the phone, and he glanced up at Gabriel with a smirk. “I do, actually,” he said. “Send it to my email…” He trailed off, frowning at the phone as he read the texts. “You wrote ‘hitting a bar with Mr. S’ with a smiley face and video of Gabe singing, then she says ‘looks like he’s having fun’ with a winky face and you answer ‘living his best life.’ Look, Alex, I…I know this is hard on you, and you haven’t done anything wrong, Gabe gave you permission to talk to her about him, but…I’m not crazy about this, you know?”
“I’m sorry,” Alex repeated, looking miserable.
“I’m not angry, I’m just…”
“Disappointed,” Alex guessed, seeming to slump even further into himself.
“No. No, I could never be disappointed in you,” Jack answered. “Not ever. You didn’t do anything wrong. This whole situation sucks but Gabe’s right, it’s not your fault. Walk me through this. When did Sanderson see these? Before or after the assembly?”
“He took her phone before it,” Alex said. “She told me when we were in the hall after Mr. S went to the office to wait for the superintendent—and Mrs. Santiago heard Eliza say that Mr. Sanderson had her phone, so she went to get it back. She brought it back to Eliza. But he must’ve sent himself copies because they had printouts of the pictures and messages. When they questioned me.”
“Did he ask Eliza about the messages before he made the accusations to Rodgers?” Jack asked.
“Yeah but I didn’t know. He had her in the office before he called us all in the gym, and she couldn’t text me or anyone ‘cause he had her phone. He asked her why I was in a bar with Mr. S.”
“And?” Jack asked, raising his eyebrows. “Did she tell him I was there, too?”
Alex reluctantly shook his head, glancing at Gabriel.
The teacher sighed. “She was trying to protect me—they both were,” he said. “My privacy—our privacy. I’m sorry, Alex, neither of you should’ve been put in that position. That’s my fault.”
“The hell it is,” Jack said. Before Gabriel could answer, he asked Alex, “What did she tell him, then?”
“I don’t think she said much of anything,” Alex said. “She was scared because she didn’t know why he had her out of class and then he called the upper classes to the gym and made her stand there—” His hands were fisted on the table, and his eyes flashed with anger at the way Eliza had been treated. “She only just came back to school,” he said in a low voice.
“So…he found the messages, thought something inappropriate had happened between you and Gabe…and he still decided to table that suspicion while he pulled Eliza in front of all of the high school to humiliate her? I’ve gotta say—and Gabriel, I know that your view of Sanderson has softened a bit since you found out he saw these videos and whatever, I can tell that you have some sympathy because you think he was trying to look out for Alex and while I don’t entirely disagree, I just don’t have very nice feelings about this guy. He did everything in the worst way he could’ve.”
“You’re right, of course, I can’t forgive him for what he’s put Eliza and Alex through,” Gabriel said. “But setting that aside for a minute…he didn’t know about you and me when he first went to Rodgers—and neither did Rodgers. So when I walked in there, Rodgers’d already seen pictures of me at karaoke or whatever Alex sent, but he didn’t tell me, not until after I’d told him that you and I were dating.” He looked at Alex. “There were school board members there to question you?”
The boy nodded. “Three. Or no wait, two, plus Mr. Rodgers.”
“Probably all he could get there on short notice,” Jack said.
It was Gabriel’s turn to nod. “Rodgers would’ve wanted to question both Eliza and Alex as soon as possible to make sure I didn’t try to influence them, or they didn’t come up with some cover story.”
“If you were some creepy old teacher molesting your students, I wouldn’t cover for you,” Alex said, surprising Gabriel into a laugh.
“I’m glad to hear that,” he answered. “Though not at all surprised. But look, Rodgers did what he should’ve done, under the circumstances. And Sanderson, in this particular instance—”
“He should’ve asked me,” Alex cut in angrily. “He didn’t really believe you did anything, he just wanted to cause problems. Maybe he’s trying to deflect. Maybe someone should look into his—”
“Alex,” Gabriel said, and the sharpness of his voice startled the boy into silence. “I know you’re upset, but don’t ever throw accusations around lightly.”
“Okay,” Alex answered. “I just…it’s just not fair.”
“How many board members are there?” Jack asked.
“Four,” Gabriel said.
“Well, that’s stupid,” Jack said. “How can any deciding body have an even number of members?”
“There’s normally five,” Gabriel answered, “but Margie DeWitt’s gone until after Christmas break. I think Rodgers might act as tie-breaker if necessary.” He sighed and glanced at his watch. “I’m surprised he hasn’t called me yet to come in for an interview.”
“You mean interrogation?” Jack asked with raised eyebrows.
“By now they know the situation—”
“They’re gonna turn it, Gabe,” Jack said quietly. “Alex was right about that. They’re going to pretend it’s about the students when really it’s about your personal life.”
“I know the board members,” Gabriel said. “They’re fair and reasonable…” He trailed off and ran a hand over his face. “This is ridiculous. I didn’t do anything wrong and we’re sitting here talking about people deciding the fate of my career…”
“We need to get out of town,” Jack announced.
Gabriel looked over at him. “It’d be a good idea for the two of you to put some distance—”
“No,” Jack said. “You, too. All of us.”
“Not me,” Alex answered. “I’m not leaving. I’m staging a revolt.”
“Alex, please,” Gabriel said, reaching out to touch the boy’s arm. “Don’t cause problems for yourself. I appreciate your support, I really do—”
“Mr. S,” Alex said quietly, “it’s not only you. Eliza’s not the only gay kid in school, and they all need to know we’ve got their backs. School sucks enough without having to worry about crap like this from the people who are supposed to look out for us.”
Gabriel blinked against the sting in his eyes, and nodded, unable to speak.
“You can stay, then, but not he
re alone. Make arrangements with friend,” Jack said into the silence. “We’ll go to the beach house.”
“Yeah, you’ll like the beach house,” Alex told his teacher.
Gabriel looked up at Jack again. “I’m under investigation,” he said. “I can’t…”
“They don’t need you here for their bullshit investigation,” Jack answered. “You said yourself, they know the situation. I’m sure you have personal days or something saved up since I doubt you ever take time off.”
“And you’re just going to take more time off work?” Gabriel asked him.
Jack smiled. “Honestly? I’m surprised I haven’t been forced to use up some of my time off already. Come on, we’ll pack a bag, catch a flight—”
“Flight?” Gabriel interrupted. “Where the hell is this ‘beach house,’ anyway?”
“California,” Jack said.
Gabriel laughed, staring at him in disbelief. “California?” he repeated. “I can’t…fly to California. I can…barely afford rent, we used up half our savings on me moving out, and…” He trailed off, because he didn’t want to think about what would happen if he actually lost his job. Knowing that he’d done nothing for which he should be fired didn’t prevent him from worrying about the possibility, though.
“You’re not losing your job,” Jack said, clearly reading his thoughts. “And I’ll pay for the trip.”
“I…can’t let you do that…”
“Think of it as a late birthday present, or an early Christmas present, or whatever.”
“Jack.”
“Gabe,” Jack answered, walking over and sitting in the chair next to him. He reached out and took hold of Gabriel’s hand. “I know you feel like everything is out of control, like the world is suddenly spinning faster than you can get your bearings. Believe me, I’m not telling you not to fight, not to be angry, not to rail against any sonsofbitches that try to tear you down. All I’m saying is…it’s okay to take a breath. To remember what’s not out of your control, what’s not falling apart.”
Gabriel smiled. “You sure you don’t just want to make out on a beach?”
Rising From the Dust Page 31