Gabriel sighed and leaned back. “Jesus, Doug, why would you keep these?” he asked.
“Like I said before,” Sanderson answered, “you get to be the cool teacher, act like their friend. Someone has to make the hard choices even when it means everyone hates you for it.”
“They’re kids, Doug. You’re new here, there’s bound to be some contention. You think they never talk shit about me? They talk about all of us behind our backs. I’m not their friend any more than you are. But respect is a two-way street.”
“Yeah, well, the ship has sailed, hasn’t it?” Sanderson asked. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to finish packing up.” He hesitated, watching as Gabriel pushed to his feet. “For what it’s worth, though…I meant what I said. You shouldn’t quit, not like this. Not because of my…mistake. I don’t belong here, but you do.”
Gabriel tapped his finger on the folder. “Do yourself a favor and destroy this, Doug,” he said. He hesitated. “And take care, alright? I’ll see you around.”
Sanderson nodded once before returning his attention to packing, and Gabriel left him there.
Chapter Fifteen
Gabriel was on his back on an oversized towel, looking up at the cloudless expanse of blue. The air had grown chilly as the sun crept toward the sea, but he was in no hurry to head back to the house. Jack was stretched beside him on another towel; their arms were touching, and while Gabriel stared up at the sky, Jack tipped a foot to the side, brushing his toes against Gabriel’s.
Gabriel smiled. He knew Jack was looking at him. “Since I met you, my life has been in total chaos,” Gabriel said quietly. He paused, listening to the cry of gulls and the crash of the ocean. “And yet every single second spent with you has been easy.” He turned his head to look at Jack. “You were right.”
Jack laughed softly. “I’m always right,” he said. “About what?”
“Coming here, taking a breath, taking stock…”
Jack rolled toward him and pushed himself up onto an elbow, fingering at Gabriel’s shirt for a moment. “You see those guys over there?” he asked, nodding toward the edge of the water.
Gabriel barely glanced at them; he’d seen them walk past, hand in hand. “Mmhmm?”
“Do you find either of them attractive?”
Gabriel made a face. “They’re too young,” he said with a smile. “The tall one can’t even be thirty.”
Jack smiled, too, but he said, “That’s not what I mean.”
Gabriel regarded him for a few seconds. “What do you mean?” he asked quietly. “Are you asking if I want to...play the field a bit?”
“I’d hate to think of you missing out on anything.”
“You think they or someone else could give me something you can’t? Someone younger and more flexible, maybe?”
Jack chuckled, but his expression was thoughtful.
Gabriel adjusted his head on his arm. “Did you fly me out here to break up with me?” he asked. He was still smiling, because he wasn’t actually worried about that—although he was concerned by the worry on Jack’s face.
“Ha. No. You wanna get rid of me, you’re gonna have to say so,” Jack said, but he still looked troubled. “I just want you to know you have the right, to think about it, to...want—”
“I want you,” Gabriel interrupted.
Jack said, “You barely look at anyone when we’re together. I don’t want you to think—”
“How do you know where I’m looking if your eyes aren’t on me?” Gabriel asked.
Jack considered for a moment before grinning. “Touché,” he answered. “But you’ve spent your life ignoring your desires, Gabe, conditioning yourself not to look or not to think certain things. Look, I hope you never decide…” He paused, flattening his palm against Gabriel’s chest, and sighed. “Even if you don’t want to act on it, it’s okay to feel it and talk to me about it.”
Gabriel cocked an eyebrow. “You want me to tell you who I think is hot?” he asked. I hope you never decide to leave me for someone else, he thought. That’s what Jack had been about to say, or words to that effect. Never, Gabriel thought, the word echoing in his mind. He searched Jack’s face, thinking, I love you. I really do.
“Sure,” Jack said. “Maybe it’ll give me some ideas. Role playing or something,” he said, and his voice was teasing, now. “I already know you like guys in uniforms.”
Gabriel poked him in the ribs. “I like a guy in a uniform,” he corrected.
“Ow,” Jack said, rubbing at his ribs. He suddenly rolled himself forward and onto Gabriel, who grunted in surprise as Jack’s body covered his. Jack gently kneed Gabriel’s thighs apart and then settled their bodies together, crotch to crotch, his legs between Gabriel’s. He propped himself on his elbows and grinned at Gabriel, whose hands had already crept to Jack’s hips. “You like me better in it or out of it?” he asked.
“In or out of what?” Gabriel joked. “How about in and out...and in...and out…” he said, laughing when Jack groaned and bent his head to nuzzle his throat. “Hmm. What’s the verdict on the beard?”
“I like the beard but this is nice, too,” Jack said, flicking his tongue against the hollow of Gabriel’s throat. “Easier access…”
“You’re easy,” Gabriel laughed.
“I’m very easy,” Jack agreed, shifting a bit to rub his crotch against Gabriel’s. They were both growing hard inside their shorts, and neither of them was wearing underwear. They’d thrown on the shorts and t-shirts to make their way down to the beach for the sunset.
“You do know we have to walk back to the house?” Gabriel asked, his hands tightening on Jack’s hips.
“We could take care of the problem right here, first,” Jack murmured against his neck, and Gabriel could hear the other man’s amusement. Even so, he felt himself shiver—and grow even harder—at the words.
“You want me to come in my shorts on a beach where people are walking past?” he asked with an exasperated huff.
Jack laughed. “I’m very much into the idea of making you come in your pants,” he said. “Surprisingly so.”
“Hmm. Are you very much into the idea of doing laundry? Or getting arrested?”
Laughing again, Jack lifted his head to look at Gabriel and whispered conspiratorially, “They can’t arrest us if we keep our clothes on.”
“Really. So, as a cop, you’re telling me if you saw two guys aggressively dry-humping on a public beach—”
“Aggressively dry-humping?” Jack laughed, his amusement shaking both of them and making Gabriel suppress another groan. Jack stared down at him with the late-day light twinkling in his eyes. “God, I—”
He broke off abruptly and slanted his mouth over Gabriel’s, but the teacher considered what words may have been poised to follow. He thought he might know. He didn’t need Jack to make any declarations, not here and not now, but he thought that was what Jack had stopped himself from saying.
Jack was lazily claiming Gabriel’s mouth, his tongue exploring without hurry, and Gabriel squirmed a bit beneath him, feeling the sand shift under the towel. He didn’t know or care if anyone was watching them; he didn’t even care that they were missing the sunset that they’d come out to watch.
They were interrupted by the sound of one of their phones buzzing. They’d slipped their cells into Gabriel’s shoes—since Jack had been wearing flip-flops—to keep them out of the sand.
Jack pulled his mouth from Gabriel’s and reluctantly levered himself up. “It’s a semi-private beach, Sugarlips,” he said with a grin and a wink, reaching over to drag the shoes closer with two hooked fingers.
“That means it’s semi-public, Officer,” Gabriel said. “Is it mine or yours?” he asked, turning his head toward the shoes.
“Right now I can barely tell where mine ends and yours begins,” Jack quipped, but he grabbed out his phone and said, “Mine.” He frowned down at his screen, and Gabriel saw a quick succession of emotions flit across his features.
“What�
�s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Jack answered.
“Jack.”
Jack raised his eyes to Gabriel’s and his frown dissolved. “Nothing’s wrong,” he said. “Just…uh…” He hesitated, searching Gabriel’s face. “I texted Jeff’s mother to let her know I’d be at the beach house, just in case, since it’s technically theirs. They’ve been in Europe…” He trailed off.
“Do they not want us staying here?” Gabriel asked, confused.
“No, no, it’s not that. They’re here in California, got in this afternoon.”
“So they’re staying here?”
“No, they have a house here. The beach house was for Jeff.”
“Maybe it’s because most of the blood has left my brain for other regions, Jack, but I’m having trouble following. Could you tell me what the problem is?”
“They want to have dinner.”
“Tonight?”
“Yes. They want me to go to their house for dinner,” he said slowly.
“Okay.”
“I didn’t tell them about you.”
“I gathered by your choice of words,” Gabriel answered.
“I told them Alex was staying home. We’ve only seen them twice since we lost Jeff. Obviously it’s been…devastating for them…”
“Jack,” Gabriel said gently, putting a hand to the other man’s cheek, “you don’t need to explain. If you want to go, go. I think you should. You and they share—”
“I want you to come with me,” Jack interrupted. He plucked at the collar of Gabriel’s shirt for a few seconds. “I want to introduce you to them.”
“I…” Gabriel was caught off guard and momentarily at a loss for words.
Jack slid himself off Gabriel, lying on his side with his cheek on his hand and his elbow in the sand between their towels. He was pressed close against Gabriel, his erection against Gabriel’s hip. Gabriel bent a knee up to shield his own arousal from view of anyone who might be nearby, but he did so absently. He was focused on Jack’s face.
“You can say no.”
“I’m not saying no,” Gabriel answered. “I’m surprised is all.”
“I’m a little surprised, myself,” Jack said with a small smile. “Not that I don’t want you to meet them, and…and my parents and family, but I didn’t expect them—”
“You don’t have to rush it,” Gabriel said. “There’s time, Jack. If you’re not sure—”
“I am sure. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that we’re not guaranteed as much time as we might think we have. But more than that, Gabe, I…” He leaned forward and touched his lips to Gabriel’s, holding onto his shirt. “I am sure. About you, about us, about this. I promise they’ll love you.”
“It won’t be easy for them,” Gabriel said quietly.
“No,” Jack agreed.
“Or you.”
“Any of us,” Jack said. “But I think they’ll be happy to meet you. Will you come with me?”
“Of course,” Gabriel answered. “How long do we have, though? I might need a cold shower.”
“How about we take a hot shower and I—”
“No,” Gabriel cut in with a laugh, and Jack pursed his lips in a pout. Gabriel paused. “Not before dinner, you’ll spoil your appetite,” he said, and Jack rolled onto his back, laughing.
***
Gabriel stood in the open garage doorway, staring at the car. “If I never paid any other bills in my life I still wouldn’t be able to afford this,” he said.
Jack stood beside him and put his bent arm on Gabriel’s shoulder. “Me, either,” he said, also regarding the vehicle.
“Between the house and this car—you know I sort of thought you were exaggerating when you said Jeff’s family was rich.”
“Nnnope,” Jack answered, planting a quick kiss on Gabriel’s cheek before heading around the car. “Try not to panic when you see their house, alright? I almost hyperventilated the first time I saw their east coast place, which is even bigger.” He paused at the driver’s side door and looked over the roof at Gabriel. “You can touch it, it won’t bite,” he said, laughing—not unkindly—when Gabriel ran a finger along the edge of the trunk. “Do you want to drive?”
Gabriel looked up from the shine of the blue paint and met Jack’s eyes. “Not if you want to get there on time,” he said, and Jack laughed again. “It’d take me ten minutes to back out of here, having apoplexy at the thought of scratching it the whole time.”
“You’ll get used to it,” Jack said, opening the driver’s door. “Maybe we can stay longer next time and you can speed up and down one-oh-one a bit.” He folded himself into the car and pulled his door closed, and Gabriel stood there for several seconds, considering the casual way in which Jack had just referenced a future together.
Gabriel walked over and opened the passenger door, bending down to look inside.
“Something wrong?” Jack asked, peering out at him.
Gabriel shook his head. He knew that Jack was distracted, nervous—even though he was doing his best to keep his nerves under control, it was going to be difficult to spend an evening with Jeff’s parents, and Gabriel didn’t take that lightly.
Jack had called Margaret to accept her texted invitation and ask if it was alright if he brought a guest, so that the McGintys would not be surprised by Gabriel. He’d then nervously paced the house while Gabriel dressed himself in khakis, a white shirt, and a navy suit jacket. It was the dressiest outfit he’d brought on their vacation.
“Should I wear the tie?” Gabriel had asked upon emerging from the bedroom, eying Jack in his jeans and white button-up.
“No,” Jack had answered, looking him over. Some of the tension left his shoulders, and he’d smiled, saying, “You look perfect, as always. One of these days I’m going to take you someplace you have to wear a tux—or at least a three-piece suit, though,” he added. “And then I’ll take you home and peel it off, layer…by…layer.”
Gabriel hadn’t allowed himself the luxury of dwelling on the word home, knowing it didn’t mean anything more than your place or my place.
He didn’t allow himself to reflect too much on the reference to future vacations, or the idea of getting used to cars, either. He climbed inside and pulled the door closed. “Must be a custom job,” he said. “Don’t really see front bench seats much these days.”
“I’ll show you a custom job,” Jack said, reaching toward the other man’s lap, and Gabriel swatted his hand away. Jack laughed and started the car. “Yeah, the dealer thought Jeff was crazy. Seemed to think the back seat was sufficient for making out—although I wouldn’t even want to try to cram myself, let alone myself with someone else, back there. But that guy obviously didn’t appreciate the romance of driving along the coast with the top down, one person straddling the gearshift because it’s really pretty tight in here.”
“I’ll show you pretty tight,” Gabriel answered, grinning.
Laughing, Jack turned toward him. “God, I’ve corrupted you. And I’m so happy about it,” he added, kissing Gabriel’s smile. Then, drawing back, he pointed at the roof. “Up or down?” he asked.
“Uh. How about up for now,” Gabriel said.
“Good. I want to smell you,” Jack answered, chuckling at Gabriel’s exasperated sound. “Are you gonna sit way over there the whole time?” Jack whined as he backed out of the garage.
“Way over here? You’re the one who said it was tight. And yeah, I’m keeping my seatbelt securely fastened until I know how heavy your foot is in this thing.”
“I’ll show you a heavy foot,” Jack muttered.
Laughing, Gabriel said, “That makes no sense as a sexual innuendo, you realize?”
“I’ll show you innuendo,” Jack returned.
“Okay, that one works,” Gabriel laughed, and Jack grinned over at him as he pulled onto the dark highway.
***
“Okay. This is…their vacation house…?”
“It’ll be alright, babe, listen, the
y’re rich and they probably have no idea what a dollar bill looks like but they’re nice, I promise. They’re a bit self-absorbed but not in a mean way, like...if they ask you a question and then change the subject while you’re in the middle of answering, don’t take it personally. Also, if they ask something that feels intrusive and you don’t want to answer, feel free to change the subject yourself or if you pause long enough they might forget on their own. They’re not really interested in details, you know? But they’re nice and they’ll love you. They’re also incredibly generous for people who come from old family money, sometimes I’m still surprised by how generous. So don’t feel awkward if they try to give you something, even if it seems extravagant. It’s their way of relating to people.”
“I know you’re nervous, Jack.”
“Hey,” Jack answered. He leaned toward Gabriel and kissed his lips. “Not about you,” he said, running his thumb over Gabriel’s cheek. “Promise.”
Gabriel nodded. “I want you to know I’m right here if you need me.”
Jack kissed him again, letting his lips linger against Gabriel’s for several seconds. “Oh,” he said, drawing back. “There’s a staff, too. They have a live-in housekeeper, Ellen, she takes care of things, looks after the place when they’re not here, which is most of the time. Okay. Ready?”
Gabriel nodded, and they climbed out of the car.
The front door of the house opened as they approached, surprising both of them. Margaret stood framed in the opening, and her husband appeared behind her a moment later.
Gabriel knew that Jack was taken aback by their eagerness, and their smiles, and he moved closer to Jack’s side. He wasn’t sure if Jack would want him to take his hand in front of Jeff’s parents, so he brushed the back of his knuckles against Jack’s instead, in a surreptitious show of support. Jack quickly took hold of his hand and gave it a squeeze.
“Jackie,” Margaret said, “it’s so good to see you.”
“Mags,” Jack answered. “You look stunning as always.”
She laughed. “Always the charmer,” she said, patting at her dyed-red curls. She held out her arms, and Jack released Gabriel’s hand to step forward for a hug. She wrapped her arms around him, closing her eyes, and Gabriel got the distinct impression that she was using Jack as a proxy for her late son. Gabriel couldn’t fault her for that, and the emotion on her face made his heart ache for her unimaginable loss.
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