Rising From the Dust

by Adrianna M Scovill

  She drew back and touched her palm to Jack’s cheek, and Gabriel knew without being able to see it that there was a shine of emotion in Jack’s eyes that matched hers. Her husband, John, stepped up beside her in the doorway and offered a hand.

  Jack shook it, but John pulled him forward; not quite into an embrace, but close as he clapped his other hand against Jack’s arm.

  “It’s been too long,” John said.

  “I’m glad we could meet up,” Jack answered as John released him. “A stroke of luck—I didn’t know you were going to be here and this was sort of a spur-of-the-moment trip for us.” He stepped back and reached blindly behind himself, finding and taking Gabriel’s hand.

  “Yes—please, come inside,” John said, as he and his wife moved out of the way. “Introduce us to your…friend,” he said, faltering momentarily over the last word.

  “We’re going to fly east to stay for Christmas,” Margaret said. “We were going to surprise Alex.”

  “He’ll love to see you for the holiday,” Jack answered, pulling Gabriel closer as they walked inside. “John, Margaret, this is Gabriel Santiago,” he said when they were in the foyer, tugging Gabriel up to his side.

  “Mr. and Mrs. McGinty,” Gabriel said, extending a hand toward John. Jeff’s father was around Jack’s height, but stockier with a belly that stretched the front of his white polo; his hair was neatly-trimmed, snow-white. His handshake was firm, his smile friendly.

  “John,” he corrected pleasantly.

  “John,” Gabriel said. He turned to Margaret and, reading her body language and acting completely on instinct, put a hand on her upper arm and leaned in to kiss her cheek. She mirrored him, pressing her lips to his cheek and smiling when he stepped back. “Thank you for having me. Your house is beautiful.”

  “Thank you,” she returned. “We’re so glad you could make it on such short notice! We don’t usually have supper so late but as soon as we got Jack’s text that you all were in town, we knew we had to get together,” she said, as though Gabriel’s existence had been anything other than a complete surprise.

  “Come in, come in, the food will be served momentarily,” John said, gesturing with a hand as he led the way into the dining room.

  Jack pulled Gabriel’s hand up to kiss the back of his knuckles and then stood beside a chair, waiting for him to take a seat. Gabriel shot him a quick smile as he sat down, and watched Jack walk around the table to sit opposite him.

  Margaret sat at the end to Gabriel’s right, and he looked over to see her staring, misty-eyed, at the ring on Jack’s finger as her son-in-law adjusted the napkin beside his plate. Sensing his look, Margaret turned her gaze to Gabriel and smiled.

  “So, Gabriel, what do you do?” she asked. “Are you a police officer, as well?”

  Gabriel laughed. “No, ma’am,” he said. “I teach high school. Well, eighth grade and up—it’s a small school. I’m your grandson’s teacher, as a matter of fact.”

  “Ah, Alex,” John said, and there was no mistaking the fondness in his voice. He made a gesture, and a man stepped forward to pour wine, starting with Gabriel’s glass.

  “He’s such a good boy,” Margaret said.

  “He’s a great kid,” Gabriel agreed. “And a terrific student, I might add. Thank you,” he said, earning a nod of acknowledgment from the wine-pourer.

  “So,” Jack said, looking at John, “how’s Europe these days?”

  ***

  “We never had much religion growing up, and didn’t raise Jeff with...well, we celebrated Christmas, you know, but in the capitalist way,” John said with a small, somewhat sad smile. “Jack here was raised—hell, didn’t you say you were planning on being a priest at one point?” Jack nodded, but John was already continuing: “I think Jeff was really drawn in by your family’s faith. He chose to embrace it. You know what he said once? He said that he didn’t know if there was an afterlife, but he hoped there was, because no amount of time on Earth with you would be enough.”

  John took a drink of wine and cleared his throat. “He said you had faith there was a God and that was enough for him, because he had faith in you. All I can say is I hope you were both right and he’s somewhere patiently waiting for all of us to join him.”

  Jack reached over and put a hand on John’s arm. “I’m sure he is,” he said quietly.

  John smiled and patted the back of Jack’s hand. “Well it was good enough for him, it’s good enough for me,” he said. He drew back when he saw his wife returning, and so did Jack.

  “So, Gabriel,” Margaret said as she took her seat. She seemed unaware of the tension in the room, and it was clear that all three men would like to keep it that way. “You teach drama? Theater?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he answered. He could feel Jack’s eyes on him, and he glanced across the table. Jack smiled, but there was something speculative in his gaze. Gabriel knew that Jack didn’t want to compare him to Jeff, didn’t want to measure their relationships against each other; he also knew that it would be nearly impossible not to draw comparisons when he was sitting with Jeff’s parents, when he’d invited Gabriel to vacation in Jeff’s beach house, when they’d made out on the same stretch of beach that he’d surely spent intimate moments sharing with Jeff.

  “We could never get Jeffrey to show much interest in the theater,” she said. “He and Jack shared that lack of enthusiasm,” she added.

  “You’ll be happy to know that Alex is in Gabe’s Drama Club,” Jack said. “Although as a writer rather than performer.”

  My Drama Club? Gabriel thought, meeting Jack’s eyes again, and he knew that Jack knew exactly what he was thinking.

  “Really!” Margaret exclaimed. “That is good news! The arts are so important, don’t you agree, Gabriel?”

  Jack smirked at him.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Gabriel repeated. “My wife—and I,” he said, stumbling for a moment over the mention of Natalie, “didn't have the opportunity to see as many shows as we would’ve liked, but we tried to get into the city at least once a year. And I’ve done my best to bring as much theater—both classical and current—to my students.”

  “Did you say wife?” Margaret asked after several seconds of silence.

  Gabriel looked at Jack, but his smile was nothing except supportive. “Ex. Sorry,” Gabriel told Margaret. “It’s…still fairly new…” He trailed off, unsure what reaction to expect.

  “How long were you married?” she asked.

  “Twenty-five years. Well, almost,” he answered. “Together for twenty-seven.”

  There was another stretch of silence. Then John asked, “What’s that like? Going from that relationship to…” He gestured toward Jack.

  Gabriel was still looking at Jack and saw him grimace; saw the silent apology in his eyes. Gabriel picked up his wine glass and sat back in his chair. “Honestly?” he said, thinking about it.

  “You don’t have to answer,” John said. “I might’ve had too much to drink.”

  “Liberating,” Gabriel said, and he watched Jack’s lips curve into a smile before turning his attention to John. “Don’t get me wrong. I love Natalie, she’s the mother of my son, she’s been my best friend and partner in everything. But Jack is helping…” Gabriel paused, his gaze once more meeting Jack’s. Gabriel took a sip of wine and rubbed his lips together for a moment longer, considering. He shook his head. “Jack has helped me embrace the parts of myself I’ve spent most of my life suppressing. And I—” love him. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without him in recent weeks.”

  “If you don’t mind my asking,” Margaret said, but then she stopped.

  Gabriel smiled at her. “Of course, please ask whatever you’d like,” he said. He sipped his wine, waiting. He was still nursing his first glass, while the McGintys were each on their third and Jack was finishing his second.

  “Jonathan and I were not perfect parents,” she said. “But I do hope he knew…” She looked at Jack with tears shining in her eyes. “I d
o hope you both knew that we—”

  “Of course he knew,” Jack said, leaning toward her. “He never doubted your love for him.” She reached out and took his hand, and everyone fell silent. After several ticks of the grandfather clock, Gabriel spoke.

  “What are perfect parents?” he asked quietly. “Everyone goes into parenthood with the same disadvantage: ignorance. The difference is a willingness to learn, and that comes from unconditional love. Not all children are lucky enough to have parents who…” He paused and gave his head a shake. Glancing around the table, he said, “One thing we all have in common is that we’ve raised sons of whom we’re immeasurably proud. And I can tell you, I can promise you, that your son knew that you loved and respected and accepted him. I can say this as someone who was not raised in a particularly accepting or…tolerant home, that your unconditional love was invaluable.”

  He felt Jack’s foot against his leg beneath the table, and Gabriel smiled at him, grateful for the gesture of support.

  “Thank you, love,” Margaret said, patting Gabriel’s arm.

  Gabriel knew she was gearing up to apologize for the perceived failings of his parents, and he spoke before she could. “I noticed the piano in the other room,” he said, hooking a thumb over his shoulder. “Do you play?”

  She smiled. “Oh, not me,” she said. “Jonathan was something of a prodigy as a child.”

  John rolled his eyes. “An exaggeration of epic proportions,” he joked, taking a drink.

  Jack laughed. “That’s the line Jeff used to convince Alex to take piano lessons when he was little—you know your grandfather was a prodigy. After three lessons, Alex said ‘I guess I didn’t inherit that gene,’ and announced he was quitting. We debated forcing him to keep going, at least give it more of a chance. My parents forced me to take lessons in all sorts of things that I hated, and Jeff said you guys never made him go to anything more than once if he didn’t like it, so we’d had opposite experiences. In the end we decided we weren’t going to force Alex to do anything he didn’t want to do, you can both attest to how strong-willed he’s always been and Gabe here has seen that firsthand, too.”

  “He’s got a good grasp of himself and the world,” Gabriel agreed. “And he’s one of the best writers I’ve seen at his age.”

  “What about Ben, does he play piano?” Jack asked.

  “He can hold his own on piano and guitar because when he was little I had him convinced that it was cool and fun to want to do what his old man was doing,” Gabriel laughed. “When he got older he decided he wanted to play drums in school band. I never played drums so that was his polite way of saying he was moving on.”

  Jack rubbed his foot on Gabriel’s calf. “Your son still thinks you’re cool and fun,” he said with a smile. “Because he’s smart,” he added.

  Gabriel laughed. “He humors me because he’s kind,” he countered. “But thanks.”

  “So you do play, then?” Margaret asked. “Do you know ‘Moon River?’ I used to beg my husband to play but since his arthritis has gotten worse, I’ve cut him some slack,” she said, offering John a smile.

  “Do you mind?” Gabriel asked, pointing toward the other room. He grabbed his wine and finished the last of it, shaking his head when the hovering man stepped forward with the bottle.

  Gabriel met Jack’s eyes as the man rounded the table to refill his glass, and Gabriel made a silent promise to drive them back to the beach house. He knew Jack understood when he allowed the refill.

  “‘Moon River’ is a favorite of mine,” Gabriel said, holding out his hand to help Margaret from her chair. “Also ‘Canon in D’ and—do you know Yirumo’s ‘River Flows in You?’ I think you’ll like it,” he said when she shook her head. He took her arm and walked her into the parlor while Jack and John trailed along behind with their glasses of wine.

  “Do you know ‘Peace Piece?’” John asked.

  “Hm,” Gabriel answered, glancing back. “Bill Evans. I think I can fumble my way through.”

  John nudged Jack’s arm and said, “I like this boy, Jackie,” earning a chuckle from Jack and a grin from Gabriel.

  ***

  “I’m trying to concentrate,” Gabriel said, watching the splash of headlights painting the highway ahead of them. He was driving slowly, as he’d warned would be the case.

  Jack was on his back, leaning against Gabriel’s side, with his feet hanging over the passenger door. The windows and top were down, and the wind was cold; it was nearly midnight, and it felt like they were the only two people in the world. No one else seemed to be traveling this stretch of California highway. The moon was shimmering on the ocean, and Gabriel could smell the sea; it was a different ocean, but the same scent.

  Jack kept nudging Gabriel in the stomach with his elbow, and he had his head tipped back against Gabriel’s shoulder. Now he laughed, saying, “You’re driving very well, Sugarlips. I’m not worried.”

  “You’re not worried because you’re drunk,” Gabriel answered, but he was smiling.

  Jack reached his right hand back under his left arm and tickled Gabriel’s side. “I’m a little drunk,” he said, laughing again when Gabriel squirmed.

  “Ah. Quit,” Gabriel said, and Jack’s fingers stopped. He dropped his hand to Gabriel’s thigh, instead, and let it rest there. “You know it’s dangerous to distract the driver,” Gabriel added, but he took his right hand off the wheel and settled his arm over Jack. “Hard to believe it’s December out here when it’s snowing back home.” He cleared his throat when Jack’s fingers crept over to his inner thigh, and Jack laughed. “Jack, this car costs as much as my house.”

  “I don’t care about the car, I only care about you,” Jack said. He walked his fingers up Gabriel’s stomach.

  “You’re not wearing a seatbelt. If I wreck the car, I’ll wreck you, too.”

  “Aww,” Jack said, kissing Gabriel’s arm. “So you’re saying you like me?”

  Gabriel smiled. “I guess so,” he answered.

  Jack drew his legs back and sat up before scooting over to Gabriel’s side, putting an arm around his shoulders and leaning against him. He touched his cold fingers to Gabriel’s neck, and Gabriel suppressed a shiver. “You’re very warm,” Jack said, leaning closer to press his lips to the side of Gabriel’s neck. Gabriel kept his eyes on the road but tipped his head to the side a little to give him easier access. Jack’s right hand was on Gabriel’s thigh, while his left was twirling in the hair behind Gabriel’s left ear.

  “I guess now we each know what kind of drunk the other is,” Gabriel laughed.

  “What kind of drunk am I?” Jack asked against his neck.

  “Snuggly, apparently.”

  Jack made a sound suspiciously close to a giggle and said, “You’re snuggly. You’re like a giant, extra-warm teddy bear.”

  Gabriel chuckled. “Gee, that sounds sexy,” he joked.

  “A teddy bear I wanna have a lot of sex with,” Jack said, and Gabriel felt teeth graze his neck when Jack grinned. A second later, Jack’s tongue flicked against his skin.

  “Oh, well in that case,” Gabriel said, struggling to keep his focus on the highway. “Gross.”

  Jack laughed again, and it was a bubbly, happy sound; it had been an emotional evening, and Gabriel would’ve understood if Jack were feeling a bit melancholic or introspective. Jack’s mood was light, though, and Gabriel couldn’t help but feel they’d cleared a hurdle that neither of them had seen coming. Jack hadn’t known that his in-laws would be in the area, and his decision to introduce them to Gabriel had been instinctive and spur-of-the-moment.

  Jack had been worried—more about upsetting the McGintys than anything else—and now he was relieved, relaxed, and happy. Gabriel hadn’t been particularly worried, because he trusted Jack’s instincts, but he was glad to see, and feel, the change in Jack’s mood.

  “Can we stay here forever?” Jack asked into the hollow of Gabriel’s shoulder.

  “Sure,” Gabriel answered.

>   “Thanks. You’re the best,” Jack said, wrapping his right arm in front of Gabriel’s chest to hug him.

  “Jack,” Gabriel laughed, “I seriously love this cuddly stuff—”

  “Do you?” Jack asked with his nose buried against Gabriel’s throat.

  “—but I’m trying to—ah, mierda,” he said when Jack’s hand slipped up beneath his shirt. “You’re going to kill us both.”

  “Can I sit in your lap so we die happy?” Jack asked.

  “Don’t make me report you to your captain or whoever—”

  “You’re my captain.”

  Gabriel made a sound that was equal parts amusement and exasperation. “Jack.”

  “Okay,” Jack answered, sounding glum. He pulled his hand from Gabriel’s shirt and shifted, laying his cheek on the other man’s shoulder. “I’ll wait,” he said.

  “Are you pouting?” Gabriel asked.

  “No,” Jack answered, pouting.

  Gabriel saw a turnout ahead in the arc of headlights, and he let off the gas. He pulled into the turnout, braking and downshifting, and parked near the guardrail. He turned off the headlights and killed the engine, plunging them into darkness and sudden quiet. For a few moments, the only sounds were the ticking of the engine and the stage-whispers of the ocean.

  “Are you kicking me out of the car?” Jack asked.

  “You said you wanted to stay here forever.”

  Jack lifted his face to find Gabriel’s kiss, and then turned and put his legs over the door, scooting until he was lying on his back with his head on Gabriel’s thigh. He looked up at Gabriel and offered a crooked smile.

  Gabriel brushed Jack’s windswept hair back from his forehead and then settled his forearm over the other man’s chest. “You’re not going to fall asleep, are you?”