by Forever Redd
“Pop, I ain’t come here for all that,” I said, getting up from my seat.
“Maybe not, but it’s what you gon’ get. Sit down.”
I hesitated. All those years he never stood up to Mama either and now in her absence he wanted be the man. I had a problem with that, but not enough problem to disrespect him. I sat back down and took the bottle from beside the chair. I didn’t wanna hear a thing he had to say because I felt like the side chick conversation fucked me up from the beginning.
“Pop, I appreciate what you ‘bout to say, but do you recall telling me that I was supposed to have a side chick? You basically said that all men did it and you did too, so how can you sit there and judge me?”
I took a much needed gulp of the Fighting Cock and passed the bottle to the old man.
“Number one,” he began. You need to grow the fuck up and be a man. Yeah, I told you about runnin’ women and what I did back in my day, and yeah, I stepped out on yo’ mama too. But neva once, neva once did I put my hands on that woman. That’s some coward ass shit, Jody, and the girl is pregnant? The hell wrong with you?”
“Ain’t shit wrong with me. I been tryna tell y’all that for years,” I screamed. “But noooo, y’all just wanted to keep me closed up and doped up on sumthin’. Did it ever occur to you that what is wrong with me,” I made the quotations with my fingers for emphasis, “stems from piss poor parenting? You stayed in the streets, going here going there and the only time you ever talked to me was when you wanted to tell me that bullshit ass side chick story. I mean no disrespect Pop, but this conversation is bogus. I’m grown, don’t try and raise me now.”
“You get ‘round here like it’s a crime to have a disorder. Everybody bipolar, hell. It ain’t just you. You can’t walk through life givin’ the world shit and expecting suga in return. Yo’ mama babied yo’ punk ass all her life and you still turned out to not be shit. You won’t take your medicine because you think you too good for that. You getting ‘round here talkin’ ‘bout some dope dealin’, yeah, you ain’t know I knew? The streets talk, son. You fuckin’ up.” He paused to let the liquor make its way down his throat.
“Pop, I’ma cut you off right there for a sec. This bipolar nonsense you keep talkin’ needs to chill. Don’t you think I know what I’m doin’? I got a plan. Whether or not you see it don’t mean it don’t exist.”
“Plan? Plan to do what? Lemme tell you sumthin’,” he passed the bottle back to me. “Unconditional love. Unconditional love is what that girl has for you, Jody. People, myself included, have a tendency to act a got damn fool when they know somebody loves them unconditionally. See, you can fuck up and go home. That girl is gon’ be there. She gon’ be there because she loves you, but exactly how much do you think one person can take? You puttin’ yo’ shit off on her and them chil’ren she carryin’. I bet you can’t say you love her no matter what. If she get to floppin’ ‘round all over town, would you take her back?
“Vic not like that Pop. She is a good girl and…”
“Would you take her back?”
“No.”
“Of course you wouldn’t. You have stipulations—guidelines. To love without restrictions, without conditions—everybody can’t and don’t. You are one of those, one of us. We simply can’t do it, but Victoria is one of the few. You got a good one, clean it up or lose yo’ family.
“Pop, just listen for a minute. Like I was saying, I know I been fuckin’ up and I know all that you talkin’ is real rap, but Pop—Pop, the baby, I…”
“Spit it out boy. Is there something wrong with the baby? Both of ‘em, what’s goin’ on, son?”
I choked back tears as I tried to find the right words to convey my emotional rollercoaster, but I could no longer hold them. I could no longer contain the disappointment in myself and I cried.
“Well, Jeeeeesus, look atcha. Done wrote a check that ass can’t cash. Talk to me, let’s hear it, because the way you carryin’ on, this one has got to be the mother of all fuck ups. So, what?” my father asked before taking an extremely long drink from our shared bottle.
The girl—the girl that’s carrying my seed, we have had a little history. I met her a while back at one of SCSU’s homecomings. We kicked it for a minute, there was some interest there. We lost touch but then outta nowhere, she surfaced. When I first laid eyes on her Pop, I knew I had to drink from her fountain one more time.”
“Drink from her fountain, my ass. You wanted to run up in them drawz and you did, now you sittin’ there lookin’ fool. Keep goin’,” my father encouraged.
“Yeah, you right, I wanted it once again and I said if I got it, I would be done and be an honest man. It just ain’t happen like that. I see her off and on, but now there is the issue with the baby—the one she is carrying too.”
“Okay, easy fix. Get rid of that baby before it even gets here, and if you want to keep it so be it, but you don’t ever let another woman destroy yo’ house. Back in my day we had a wife, a mistress, and a girlfriend. We were afforded those luxuries because we were real. Real men and real women. Nowadays, these females look for sumthin’ to tell, they wanna feel on top. They wanna one up the next woman. The men, we played our position because we wanted to have our cake and eat it too. We were successful because we knew what lines to cross, and when to cross ‘em. We knew what women were ‘bout that life as you young people say.”
“Pop, I want my baby, she is not going to abort it or put it up for adoption. I mean that. Before she does, I would kill her. That goes for her and Victoria, so what they gon’ have to do is put their differences aside and we all make this shit work. I mean why couldn’t it?”
“Lawd, have mercy. Fuck you mean why couldn’t it? You can’t bring some random to the house you share with yo’ wife talkin’ ‘bout make it work. If them women anything like the women I know, they will beat yo’ ass and then cut yo’ throat. Let me tell you one damn thang, and you betta pay attention. Victoria ridin’ wit yo’ ass right now, but the trip is long and tiresome. Ooohh, but when she wakes up? Get ya shit together, son because when she see the light, even hell can’t hold a woman who scorned. Play with it.”
“Pop, it’s not like that. She isn’t random, and I even think I have feelings for her too.” I said with my head hung low.
“Who is this girl? Where she come from? Talkin’ ‘bout catching feelings.”
When I told Pop who she was and how I allowed my small head to make big decisions, he didn’t even allow me to complete my sentence.
“Dear God, Jody. You done fucked up. You really, really fucked up!”
To Be Continued~
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