by Every, Donna
"I am feeling famished," he confessed, changing the subject again. "Could you prepare something for me to eat?"
‘It's my day off. Get it yourself,’ Deborah thought and wished she could utter the words out loud.
“Some of the girls are working today. I’m sure any of them would get you something to eat.” That was as close as she could come to saying what she really wanted to.
“I prefer you to get it for me.”
Deborah could not believe how selfish he was being but then she shouldn’t be surprised at anything these people did. Why did she expect him to be different? She took a deep breath to control her anger and resentment, raised herself from the ground and said formally, “Right away, Master Richard,” before walking with great dignity towards the house.
Inside she was seething. How could she let his conversation make her forget that in his eyes she was nothing more than a slave? It didn't matter to him if it was her day off. It didn't matter if the only day she got to read and lose herself in stories was on Sunday. Whatever Master Richard wanted, he got. How she hated him for giving her the feeling of freedom and then snatching it away again. When would she ever be able to get what she wanted? Even if it was just time to read a book in peace.
As Richard watched her walk purposefully towards the house, something akin to guilt pricked his conscience before he deliberately pushed it aside and focused instead on the tempting sway of her hips. As his gaze travelled up to the long wavy hair bouncing against her back, he was keenly aware that her beauty and spirit stirred him like no other woman and he knew that the promise he had made to his uncle was already in jeopardy.
Chapter 9
Sarah had just finished sweeping out their hut and was collecting dirty clothes to wash when Deborah stormed into the hut.
"Sorry I'm so late back to help you clean. I was drying my hair out by the cliff when Master Richard saw me and asked me to fix a meal for him. I don't know why he couldn't get it himself, or find Hattie and ask her. She would have been glad to help him!"
"You know they don't know how to do anything for themselves," Sarah consoled her. "How he find you out there though? Out there is lonely Deborah. Anything could happen and nobody would hear you. He ain' trouble you, nuh?"
Deborah remembered how his eyes had travelled over her body and shivered a little but she couldn’t honestly say that he had troubled her, apart from the fact that she found his presence somewhat unnerving.
"No, ma. Don't forget that it is Hattie he is interested in. I don't know how he could be planning to marry a woman in Carolina and still bed Hattie."
"Girl, those men don't see us as their own kind, so they don't think they’re doing anything wrong. To them we just like a favorite chair; something to sink into and give them pleasure at the end of the day."
"Even Master Thomas?"
"He is a good man but he ain' much different from the rest of them when it comes to that. You think I could ever tell him that I don' feel like coming when he tell me to come to his room?"
"Have you ever tried?" Deborah challenged her.
"Girl you want me to get the skin whipped off my back?"
"I don't think the Master would ever have you whipped, ma. I'm not too sure about the mistress though."
"I know. Ever since Master William get send to England she been looking for to something to flog me and you for but she can’t find anything."
They filled up a tub with water and began to wash their laundry with a bar of soap. Being a lot less than what Sarah had to deal with on laundry day, the two pairs of hands made quick work of the load.
"Ma. You ever think about being free?" Deborah asked as they spread out their clothes on nearby bushes to dry.
Sarah looked around cautiously before answering.
"Yes, child. But I think more about you being free than me. I know that you could do a lot with the learning you have. You could run a boarding house or keep a shop in Town. I hear that sometimes when a master free a slave he gives them money or property to make a start after they free."
"Have you ever asked the master if we could buy our freedom from him? We don't have much money saved up but maybe he would sell us cheap since he doesn’t need the money," she laughed. Sarah joined her.
"I was going to ask him for your freedom after William troubled you but since he sent him away I didn't bother."
"I don't want to be here when William comes back. Even if the master were to put in his will that we are to be freed after he dies I don't trust William to do it. You need to talk to him about that soon."
"Next time he calls for me I will ask him. That will be the best time." She smiled the secret smile of a woman who knew the power she had over a man.
Deborah felt a sliver of hope penetrate the wall that guarded her heart. Maybe her mother could persuade the master to set them free.
The family returned from their day out at church, followed by lunch at friends who lived on a large plantation in St. Peter called St. Nicholas Abbey, late in the evening. Thomas went to sleep right away and the girls retired to their rooms leaving Elizabeth in her favorite spot on the patio to enjoy the sunset which transformed the sky into a palette of pinks and oranges.
"How did you spend your day, Richard?" asked his aunt as he joined her on the patio.
"Oh I had a wonderfully lazy day. I explored the eastern part of the plantation and spent some time enjoying the view.” A picture of Deborah with her hair draped over her shoulders flashed into his mind. “It's very peaceful out there." Or would be if it was not occupied by a disturbing slave girl, he thought.
"Yes, the view is lovely. I don't go out there very often; I prefer to sit on the patio here in my favorite chair. I hope the girls fed you."
“I got Deborah to prepare something for me. I think she was less than pleased though since it was her day off.”
"If she was insolent I’ll deal with her!" His aunt said sharply. Too late, he realized that he may have gotten Deborah in trouble with his comment.
"Not at all. She fixed me a very nice meal."
"That girl is constantly rude. She does not know her place. Of course it's Thomas' fault. He lets her do as she pleases. She and her mother. You must let me know if she is rude to you."
Richard realized that Sarah and Deborah were a source of shame and jealousy to his aunt and she would look for any excuse to punish them. He couldn’t really blame her.
"I don't know what William saw in her but he was obsessed with her. That's what got him sent away." It was as if his aunt had kept this inside her since William left and was glad to have someone to unburden to.
"Imagine that Thomas sided with those slaves against his own son!" she continued.
Richard waited for her to explain further but having vented her frustration, she now seemed reluctant to say more and he did not want to appear overly interested, although he was now curious to know what had transpired, so he said nothing.
"So tell me about your fiancée," said his aunt changing the subject. "Have you written to her to let her know that you arrived safely?"
"I must admit that I have not. Letter writing is something that I avoid like the plague. It took me months before I wrote Uncle Thomas to let him know that I was coming."
"You don't sound as if you're smitten with this young lady, if you will forgive my boldness. Otherwise you would have written her as soon as you landed."
"I've known her for a long time but I must admit that it was our fathers who pointed out the benefits that such a marriage would bring."
His aunt nodded understandingly.
"My marriage was one such as that, but I loved Thomas passionately so I was eager to come with him to Barbados even though I knew the early days would be hard. I never imagined it would turn out like this."
Richard didn't know if she was referring to their marriage, life on the plantation or both. It dawned on him that Ann would be in exactly the same position as his aunt, except for the hardship.
Would it
be fair to subject her to such a marriage? He even had his own version of Sarah in Anise although she, at least, was not under the same roof. Funny, he realized that he had hardly thought about her since the first night when he compared Deborah to her and Ann had crossed his mind even less.
He knew his aunt was right though. He really should send letters to his parents and Ann to let them know he had reached Barbados safely although Bostick would assure them of that on his return. He was just about to excuse himself to go and start the arduous task when he a sudden pain gripped his abdomen.
He rubbed it surreptitiously and waited for it to pass. Instead the pain intensified and spread. He wondered if it was something he ate and them he remembered that Deborah had unwillingly prepared his meal. Did she put something in his food?
"Aunt Elizabeth, I must ask you to excuse me but I have an excruciating pain in my abdomen. I think I had better lie down.”
"Oh, my dear boy! I wonder if the water has affected you. Sometimes the water makes visitors to the island ill since they are not accustomed to it. I will get Deborah to fix you one of her potions. That's the only thing the girl is good for," she could not resist saying.
I hope that it wasn’t one of her potions that has me in this condition, he thought to himself.
He gingerly rose from the rocking chair and was ashamed when his aunt came to his assistance as another cramp almost doubled him over. He was amazed at how quickly the illness came on. By the time they reached his room he was covered in sweat.
"I'll get Jethro to come and help you undress and use the chamber pot if you have to and I’ll get Deborah to bring you some tea to make you feel better."
She helped him into his bed and hurried out, calling one of the girls to go to Deborah's hut and tell her to find Jethro and come to the house quickly.
Richard was too weak to do anything except pray that Deborah would hurry up with the tea and that it would work fast, provided that she hadn’t poisoned him in the first place. While the thought of having Jethro help him use the chamber pot was beyond humiliating, he hoped that he would appear before he had an embarrassing accident.
As another series of cramps ravaged his body, he could not bite back the moan that escaped his lips. He had never felt so ill in his life. Did he come to Barbados only to die?
“Deborah, Deborah!” Rachel called outside her hut. Deborah took just a second to appear in the doorway as it was such a rare occurrence for the girls to come to her hut.
“Mother told you to find Jethro and come to the house quickly,” she continued breathlessly. “Cousin Richard is sick.”
Deborah’s heart skipped a beat. She paused only to turn back to her mother who was on her heels to ask her to find Jethro while she rushed to the house. She had plaited her hair but did not even stop to pile it under a handkerchief.
“Do you know what kind of sickness he has?”
“I think it’s his stomach. Mother said something about the water affecting him or it may have been something he ate.”
Deborah began to feel a little anxious. She thought of the food that she had prepared for him earlier that day. It was lamb stew that had been left back from the night before and bread.
Did she heat it up enough? Was she responsible for his illness or was it the water?
She reached the kitchen and lit the fire in the hearth. Quickly filling up the kettle from the bucket of water on the counter, she suspended the handle over the crane and swung it into the hearth.
Looking through her herbs in their clay jars she took out two small cloth bags containing chamomile and peppermint leaves. She poured some of each into a tea pot and paced the floor waiting for the kettle to boil.
Her mother always said that a watched pot took longer to boil and she felt sure that this was true. She could hear the mistress heading to the kitchen, probably to find out what was taking so long.
“Deborah, how much longer will you be? Poor Richard is in agony. Jethro is with him now but I know your tea will soothe his stomach and replace much needed fluids. I don’t know what has brought this on, but I feel terrible!”
“I’m coming now mistress. I’m waiting for the kettle to boil.” Deborah felt terrible too. Terribly guilty.
“I’m going up to my room to change out of these clothes. I will check on him in a few minutes.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Richard felt marginally better after using the chamber pot. He was now fully convinced that pain and discomfort were the perfect antidotes for pride and he was just grateful that he had Jethro there to help him and take away the contents before returning the pot in pristine condition and ready for the next use. He had also helped him to undress and change into a robe.
Deborah balanced the tray in one hand and knocked at the door. Memories of knocking on this door almost two years ago and the painful events that followed made her hands shake. She steeled herself to enter the room that she had not seen since that night.
The door was opened by Jethro who stepped aside to allow her to come in.
“How is he now?”
“A little better after using the chamber pot but the worse ain’ pass yet. He real weak already.” Deborah nodded and made her way to the bed where she put the tray on the bedside table.
Richard was lying under a sheet and looking extremely pale. His dark hair was almost black with sweat and his eyes were closed.
“Master Richard,” she said softly. “I brought you some tea to settle your stomach.”
His eyes flickered open and it took him a moment to focus.
“Were you so upset that I interrupted your day that you decided to poison me?” he asked weakly but with a straight face.
“Master Richard! I ..I…” Guilt stole the words of denial from her mouth because she still wasn’t sure if she was responsible for his illness.
“I jest. I’m sure that if you wanted to poison me I would be dead already. Although I do feel as if I’m halfway to Hades.”
“You should not jest, sir! Slaves have been put to death just for the suspicion that they tried to poison their master or mistress.”
“I wouldn’t want you to be put to death. Not before…” Richard didn’t even get to finish his sentence before another cramp seized him.
Deborah was quite glad that he hadn’t finished what he was going to say; she had a feeling it would not be something she would want to hear.
Watching him dispassionately, she poured him a cup of tea that had been sweetened with sugar then got Jethro to help him to sit up so that he could sip it so that she didn’t come into intimate contact with him.
“I’ve never felt this ill in my life,” confessed Richard. “I’m shocked at how fast it came on. I was just thinking how pain is the perfect cure for pride. Having to be helped on and off a chamber pot has robbed me of all pride, you’ll be pleased to hear.”
Deborah bit back a smile and said, “Yes I am. Unfortunately I know it will come back as your strength returns.” He managed a weak smile.
“Thank you for the tea Deborah.”
“You don’t have to thank me. I am here to serve you,” she added sullenly.
Richard couldn’t even muster the strength to tell her how he would like her to serve him and where and how often. It was just as well; he’d probably teased her enough for one day.
Chapter 10
The Acreage, Barbados
March 27, 1696
Dear Father and Mother
I am finally writing to let you know that I arrived safely although I’m sure that Bostick has already informed you of that.
I am currently recovering from a very bad stomach ailment which may have either been caused by something I ate or the water which, Aunt Elizabeth says, often affects visitors to the island until they become accustomed to it.
As soon as Uncle Thomas heard about my illness, he sent for the doctor as he and Aunt Elizabeth were very worried. There was not much the doctor could do except advise me that the illness would run its course and
to continue to drink lots of fluids and to only drink water which had been boiled first in case it was the water that was affecting me.
Aunt Elizabeth had one of their house slaves sleep on a pallet in my room so that he would be available to help me to and from the chamber pot during the night. I lost count of the times he had to empty it. Can you imagine me being helped to and from a chamber pot? What I have learned from this is that illness cures pride.
I have to confess that I felt so ill I thought I would die, so I was grateful for his assistance. Thankfully one of the other house slaves, who is quite knowledgeable in the use of herbs, kept me regularly supplied with some kind of herbal tea which helped me greatly.
You would be shocked at the weight I have lost just in the two days but I have no doubt I will put it back on in short time as my aunt spreads a very good table. I plan to accompany Uncle Thomas on his duties tomorrow, for two days in my room are more than enough to drive me to distraction, as you can imagine.
Apart from my illness, I have thoroughly enjoyed Barbados so far. The island is beautiful, as is the plantation and I have been made to feel very much at home. Uncle Thomas and Aunt Elizabeth send their regards. They have gone out of their way to ensure that all of my needs have been met.
Please give my best regards to Ann and let her know that I will write to her soon. I must confess that this sickness has left me weak and it has been a challenge to even write this letter. Also give my regards to Charles and Charlotte.
Yours respectfully
Richard
Richard folded the letter with a thankful sigh. Although he was not fully recovered, he felt considerably better than in the last two days and had therefore made the effort to write the tardy letter.
If it was not for Jethro who hardly left his side and Deborah with her teas which helped to settle his stomach, he would have surely been a lot worse off.