by J. Daniels
“You’re going to have to be specific. There are a lot of things I could say to you right now.” His voice is a low rumble, like thunder in the distance. He leans back and commands my attention with the storm in his eyes.
I shift in his lap so he brushes against my entrance. “I want all your words. I want to be filled with them so that when I go home, I’ll never forget how I made you feel.” I’m hovering over him, wet and ready when he grips my hips and prevents me from lowering myself onto him.
He brushes his lips along my jaw, nipping at my skin. “You are home,” he whispers.
I lower my face into the crook of his neck, biting back the tears that sting my eyes.
He strokes my hair with one hand, his other still firmly holding me above him. “I’ll always want this, Mia. I could have you every day for the rest of my life and I’d never get enough of you.”
“Me too,” I say, finally leaning back and letting him see my face. He reaches up and brushes the tear off my cheek with his thumb. A smile teases my lips and he gives me one in return. “Can I have it now?” I ask, shifting in his arms so he brushes against my clit. A gasp escapes my lips when he applies the slightest amount of pressure to my swollen sex.
“You want it?”
I nod, slowly, emphasizing my desire.
He eases me down onto him, grunting when I’m fully seated. I let him take the lead, moving my hips in the rhythm he wants. He keeps his eyes on my mouth, a constant of his that I love. He isn’t ashamed about his obsession with certain parts of my body, and I’ll gladly let him stare at me with that wild hunger of his.
His one hand digs into my hip while the other pushes on the center of my back, arching me up so he can take my left breast into his mouth.
“Ben, my God.”
I watch him leave bite marks all over my chest, whimpering each time I feel his teeth graze my skin. He tilts my head, giving him access to my neck while his other hand grabs my ass and grinds me into him. I rake down his back through his shirt and he groans against my shoulder.
“Fuck. Get there, baby. I’m not coming without you.”
I rock harder into him. “Bite me.” His teeth skim over my shoulder and then I feel it. The sharp sting that pulls a gasp out of me, like I’ve been starving for a breath. “Ben.” My orgasm knots in my stomach, radiating up to my chest, and I grab his face to make him look at me. “Coming. Now.” I can barely get my words out as my climax takes over, burning me from the inside out.
I fall around him, a pile of embers as he gives me his release.
My eyes are already closing when he positions me on the bed so my head can rest on a pillow. And the sensation of the bed dipping next to me and his lips on my forehead are the last thing I register before I slip into a dream.
I know I’m alone before I open my eyes.
His body isn’t tangled with mine, his breath isn’t blowing on my skin, and I simply feel like a part of me is missing. I rub my face into the pillow before opening my eyes. And there, lying in the spot that belongs to Ben is a bouquet of sunflowers. I could cry right here. And I do.
He remembered.
SHE WAS PERFECT.
No other woman got to me the way Mia did. No other woman will ever know what I need without me having to ask for it. I want control, but I also want her to take what’s hers. To tell me what she needs when I might hesitate to give it to her. To demand I fuck her harder, to bite her there, and to bare my soul to her.
And I almost said it.
I love you.
The words were right there on the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed them down.
I know she is waiting for my own admission before she gives me that heart of hers that she so fiercely protects. But once I have that last piece of her, I won’t be able to let her go. And how much of an asshole would I be if I asked her to choose between going back to Georgia to take care of her mother and having a life with me? Mia is mine, and she’ll be mine forever, but I can’t have her two hundred and forty miles away from me. And my only other option is packing up my shit and moving to Georgia with her, but that means leaving Nolan behind. Because of my screwed up situation with Angie, I’ll never be able to take him with me. Which means that I am fucked.
Completely fucked.
Leaving her this morning was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. She was an angel next to me, curling up against my body as if she couldn’t get close enough. I loved how our bodies sought each other’s even in sleep. We were completely entwined, one entity instead of two. It was hard to tell where my body ended and hers began. And still, I needed her closer. I wanted her with me at all times. Every second I spent with Mia, I fell harder.
And fuck, I wanted to fall. I wanted to risk everything for something so unpredictable. Something I didn’t quite understand. Loving her was wild and I wanted more of it. I wanted all of it.
Figure out your shit, Kelly. Then make her yours.
My post Mia mood was tainted by the day I was having. Everything seemed to be going to shit, and to top it off, I had a partner that was suddenly into sharing his feelings with me. By midmorning, I was very aware of the reasoning behind my sister’s tears last night. And I couldn’t tell what bothered Luke more; the fact that he got dumped or the fact that he had no fucking clue as to why.
“It was completely out of nowhere,” he informs me for the hundredth time today as we patrol downtown Ruxton.
No matter what topic I brought up or what the hell we were doing, Tessa crept into the conversation. I can’t say anything, though. I did the same shit the other day when I couldn’t get my mind off Mia.
“I know you really don’t care to know the details of my sex life.”
“No, but that’s never stopped you from sharing before.”
In fact, he over-shared most of the time. Luke didn’t have a filter when it came to his sex life, even when it involved my sister.
He exhales exhaustively, dropping his head back to the seat. “I just don’t get it. She was insatiable that night and the next morning. I don’t think I have any semen left.”
“Jesus, man. I don’t want to know that shit.”
“Sorry. But what the fuck? She goes from not being able to get enough of me one minute, to dumping my ass the next. And she didn’t even give me a reason. I could fucking work with a reason.”
He starts scrolling through his phone, no doubt debating on sending her another pleading text message. I’ve had to stop him seven times already today from embarrassing himself.
“Do I need to throw that out the window?”
He shoves it back into his pocket with pure aggravation. “She didn’t say anything to you?”
He was in deep. I knew Luke was infatuated with Tessa, but I hadn’t realized until today that he was in love with her. I don’t think he knows that though, and if he does, I doubt he’ll admit it. Especially after getting dumped for the first time in his life.
I turn the receiver volume up on the radio before answering. “No, in the ten minutes it’s been since you last asked me that same question, she hasn’t said anything to me. The only thing I know is that she looked really upset.”
I begin tailing a car that is going twelve over the speed limit. I’d normally let it go if we weren’t currently in a school zone and I wasn’t in a shit mood. Having a kid has made me stricter on certain things, and the asshole in front of me picked the wrong day to go a little heavy on the gas. We’ve already ticketed nine people today, all of whom decided it was in their best interest to give me an attitude. And once you argue over a driving violation with me, I’m not giving you a fucking warning.
Luke grips the back of his neck with both hands. “Goddamn it. How the fuck am I supposed to fix this if she won’t even talk to me?”
He turns the laptop toward him and begins looking up the license plate information.
I flip on the lights and the driver pulls over onto the shoulder, barely leaving me enough room to get behind him. That just annoys me further.
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“I’m not okay with being dumped without knowing what the hell I did wrong. If she doesn’t talk to me soon, I’m going to go fucking crazy.”
I grab the bottom of the mount that holds the laptop and turn it so I can see it. “Give me the fucking thing. Do you realize you just looked up my sister’s information in here, dick?”
Luke leans over, looking at the screen that displays every past address and speeding ticket Tessa’s ever had. He flinches before falling back into his seat. “Fuck me. I’m in deep, man.”
“No, you’re in love, asshole.”
And when he doesn’t argue with me, I don’t feel the need to say anything more. He’ll have a hard enough time dealing with that realization himself without me fueling the fire. But I do owe it to him to at least try and get some information out of Tessa. And I silently vow to do that.
I didn’t dare mention my sister’s name again while we finished patrolling. Luke had dropped all conversation involving her after he looked to see if she had a record accidently. And I wasn’t a glutton for punishment, so my conversations with him stayed as far away from that topic as possible. I didn’t even mention Mia, because I knew that would just trigger him. And not talking about Mia was more difficult than I had anticipated.
I am mentally exhausted by the end of the day.
The only thing I want to do is hold Mia against me and fall asleep with her. So you can only imagine the surge of disappointment that runs through me when I arrive at my parents’ house and she isn’t there.
I grab my phone and dial her number, needing to at least hear her after the day I’ve had.
“Hello?” she answers in that voice that can drop me to my knees.
I smile against my phone and sit down on the couch, aimlessly flipping through the channels. “Baby, I’m at the house and you’re not. It kind of sucks here without you.”
“Oh, God, is it after six already? I’m so sorry, babe. Tessa wanted to get our hair and nails done today and I completely lost track of time.”
Muffled voices come through the phone, and I can tell she’s in a crowded place.
“You called me ‘babe’,” I state.
She’s never called me anything besides Ben, except for some profanity that I’m sure she labeled me with when she first discovered who I was. Or multiple profanities.
“Oh, yeah, I guess I did.” She laughs softly. “Is that okay? You call me so many different nicknames and I wanted to try one out. I liked babe.”
I shift on the couch, resting my feet on the coffee table. “I like it too.” My phone beeps, indicating that I’m getting another call. “Oh, hold on a second, angel.”
“Okay, babe,” she responds, the obvious smile in her voice.
I press a button and answer the incoming call. “Hello?”
“Hey, Ben. It’s Rollins.” Phil Rollins is another officer that works in my precinct. I don’t see him or his partner much, considering that they worked nights. “Listen, man. You’re gonna need to come down to the 14th block of Canton Street. I just pulled Angie over for drunk driving and she’s got Nolan with her.”
I am on my feet and moving toward the door as soon as I hear Nolan’s name.
“What? Is he okay? Rollins, fucking tell me if he’s hurt!”
My entire body tenses up, and I feel my heart pounding in my head.
“He’s fine, man. I’m about to arrest Angie though. She’s way over the legal limit and she seems to be on something besides alcohol.”
That stupid cunt.
I sprint to my truck, not being able to make my legs move fast enough. “Don’t arrest her until I get there. Do you hear me? I wanna see her fucking face before you take her away.”
“All right, just promise me you won’t be joining her in the back of my car. Keep your shit under control, Kelly. Your son needs you.”
“I’m on my way. Tell him Daddy’s coming. Don’t let him think I’m not coming for him.”
I start my truck and hang the phone up, startling at the sound of it ringing again. Shit. I forgot about Mia.
“Baby, Angie was just pulled over for drunk driving and Nolan is with her.”
My voice cracks at the end. Something could’ve happened to my son. She could’ve killed him.
“Oh, my God. Is he all right? Where are you going? I’ll meet you there. I’m leaving right now just tell me where to go.”
Now it’s her voice that is quivering. I hear movement and the sound of a set of keys jingling.
I need her. Nolan will need her. I clear my voice and keep it steady.
“He’s okay. He wasn’t hurt, thank God. If he was, I wouldn’t be responsible for what I might do to that bitch. They’re at the 14th block of Canton Street.”
“Okay. Tessa and I are on our way. Babe, just try and stay calm, okay? Nolan’s probably really scared with all that commotion and he’s going to need you to be strong for him.”
God, I loved this woman. She knew exactly what to say to keep me composed.
“Just meet me there, angel. I need you.”
The sound of a car starting comes through the phone. “I know. I’m coming.”
There are three cop cars at the scene, and an ambulance.
People are starting to gather on the street outside their homes, but I don’t pay attention to any of that. The only face I see is Nolan’s as I scramble out of my truck and run up to the back door of the ambulance. He is in Rollins’ arms, getting checked out by the paramedic. As I rush up to them, Rollins takes in my terrified state.
“Just a precaution, man. He’s perfectly fine.”
I nod in relief, smiling at Nolan who finally registers my presence. My son grins at me the way he always does.
“Daddy! Wook at all da powice carws!”
The paramedic gives me the go ahead to grab him, having finished with the examination. I pull him to my chest and hold him gently. “Are you okay, buddy? You aren’t hurt anywhere?”
He looks completely unharmed, but I feel like I am cradling a wounded animal against me. I can hear Angie’s hysterical voice in the distance but I try to block it out. I don’t want to get angry in front of Nolan. I pull him away from me and look all over his face, his arms, and his legs. I’m scanning every inch of exposed skin for some sign of injury, but I find none.
“Nolan, you don’t have any boo-boos?”
He shakes his head and looks past me over my shoulder. His face lights up. “Daddy, Pwincess Mia and Aunt Tessa arwe herwe!”
I turn my body and feel a rush of calmness run through me.
Mia’s face is streaked with tears, but she quickly shakes off her sadness when she sees Nolan. She is either relieved or she doesn’t want him to see her like this. Tessa, on the other hand, looks murderous.
“Here, can you take him for me while I go handle this?” I hand Nolan over to Mia and he can’t seem to get into her arms fast enough. She leans into me and kisses me on my jaw before walking toward my truck, her lips pressed to Nolan’s forehead.
Tessa waits until Nolan gets several feet away before saying, “Where the fuck is that stupid bitch? She doesn’t deserve jail. She deserves to eat my fist.”
“Calm down, Tessa.” Luke’s voice startles us both, Tessa more than me. He walks past her and joins my side, keeping his eyes on her. “How would you going to jail help out in this situation?”
She glowers at him, crossing her arms over her chest as we walk toward the first cop car behind the red Altima.
I can feel the blood rushing in my ears as Angie’s face comes into view, her lower body hanging out of the back of the cop car. Her hands are obviously bound behind her and she is crying hysterically. She seems to cry harder when she senses my presence. And now that Nolan is out of ear shot, I don’t have to remain calm.
I push past the officer that is standing right outside the door, not even bothering to register who he is, and bring my face a breath away from hers. I can smell the booze on her and that just fuels my anger. If she was a ma
n, I’d rip her throat out.
“You fucking bitch!” I feel the hands on my shoulders, trying to pry me away from her but they aren’t strong enough. I stay right where I am and she feels every ounce of hate I have for her. “You’re a fucking disgrace. I hope you’ve enjoyed your three years with him, because you’ll never see my son again.” The hands multiply on me, and I am slowly being dragged away from a regretful looking Angie. But I don’t care how sorry she is or if she’s sorry at all. There is nothing she can say to make me feel a shred of remorse for her. But the dumb bitch speaks anyway.
“I’m sorry. Ben, I’m so sorry. But you gave up on us.” Her tears come harder. “You gave up!”
I lunge forward and fill my lungs to the max. “There is no us! And I don’t give a shit if you’re sorry! You could’ve killed him! You could’ve killed my son!”
She is delusional if she thinks any amount of apologizing is going to help. And the fact that she thinks it will help only enrages me further.
“You’re a fucking piece of shit!”
“Ben, that’s enough,” Luke strains in my ear.
He has the main hold on me and I am now a good fifteen feet away from the cop car. I see Tessa’s wide eyes and realize I need to calm down. I can’t be like this when I get back to the truck. I’ve said all I wanted to say to Angie, and I don’t want to see her face again.
“All right. I’m fine.” I shrug him off me and walk over to Rollins, who is watching the scene.
“Can’t say I blame you for that outburst. I would’ve reacted the same way.”
“What are my chances of getting sole custody of my kid now?” I ask him.
Rollins’ wife is an attorney that we work with frequently, and he in turn knows more about the system than I do. He also has an ex-wife that took him to court years ago over a custody battle.
He puts a hand on my shoulder and applies mild pressure. “Pretty damn good, man. Especially if the test results come back with more than just alcohol in her system. That on top of the class E felony she’s getting charged with should give you full custody.”