“Alas,” Vitold replied, his arms spread, “there isn’t anyone who can do that. The only person who can get into the treasury is Federik himself.”
“So what am I supposed to do?” I exhaled.
“I’m not sure. One thing I do know, however, is that it’s pointless to visit Federik. He’s a stingy old bastard, he’s stubborn, and, you’ll have to forgive me, not particularly intelligent. If you offer him money, he’ll just take it without giving you anything in return. He probably won’t even talk to you.”
“Why not?” I asked in surprise.
“He’s arrogant and haughty, everyone knows that.” Vitold scratched his nose. “I’m just so surprised that nobody’s cut his throat yet. If you ask me, he’s long past due. I’m no frondeur, though…”
“I’m still going to try,” I replied. “How much will it cost to get into the palace?”
“Let’s see.” Vitold pulled up a pile of parchment. “He has a half-day today, and he’s meeting with ambassadors without serving food—that would cost 2,500 gold. You could also visit him for dinner and dances this evening, though that would be 6,000. Which would you prefer?”
“The half-day hasn’t ended yet?”
Vitold got up to look out a window at a sundial and assured me that there was still an hour remaining, though I’d have to hurry.
I paid to get into the palace and then realized that I had no idea where to go—both to get out of the Academy and to get to the palace.
“And where—” I started to ask but Vitold interrupted me.
“You’re a wholesale buyer and a friend of Yur’s, so…Sverzen!”
The clerk appeared.
“Take this gentleman the short way to the Crown’s palace and find somebody there who can lead him to the reception hall. Everything is already paid.” Vitold smiled at me greedily. “It was nice to meet you, and let me know if you ever need any other information. Here’s your receipt.”
He handed me the paper and forgot all about me, burying himself in his parchments. It hit me that I was looking at real power. The great people of the world think they decide everything, but really it’s the little people making the decisions. The former do a couple big things to earn their fame; the latter do a hundred little things behind the backs of the great people to earn their money. As a result, the people who put together the invitation lists decide who the king will see.
Incidentally, it’s also the little people that know how to get across the city in five minutes, leading you to some trapdoor in a pantry right in the center of the palace.
“You can’t get me into the treasury like that, can you?” I asked him, just to make sure I was covering my bases.
He just grunted as if to say that he’d have gotten in there a long time ago if it were possible. Then he peeked out of the pantry and whistled to someone. Five minutes later, a pretty maid holding a coin she’d been given by the scribe was leading me along, giving me instructions as we went.
“Left, sir. Right, sir. Okay, this is it.”
Compared with König Harald, the local king barely deserved the title. The local monarchy certainly seemed to have come upon hard times. A short creature with an arrogant, bony face was sitting on an enormous throne, and his squeaky voice was busy explaining to some ambassadors from the Borderlands (at least, that was the impression I got from the hefty gentlemen pleasantly reminiscent of Lane) why the Western Reaches simply had to hold sway over them. I could tell the ambassadors were having a hard time keeping their tempers in check.
“We are the ones spreading light and enlightenment through the wild lands of Rattermark,” said Federik the Seventh. “And we will bring them both to you if we must—on the tips of our spears.”
Vitold was right; I’m not going to get anywhere with that guy. Coming here was a waste of money.
“And he calls himself a king?” the Borderlands ambassador in front, and therefore the head of the contingent, said through clenched teeth as we all walked away from the reception hall toward the exit. I had joined them, having decided not to risk dealing with the king.
“I’ve never seen a kingdom in such a hurry to go to war, and especially a war as needless as this one,” the gray-mustachioed warrior walking next to him echoed. He bore the flowery name of Sventonidius. “His kind should be drowned in the latrine and replaced on the throne before they can hurt their own people.”
“But there’s no one left with a claim to the throne,” the one walking in front noted in frustration. “If there were, we could talk with them, but this… Oh, we really don’t need a war right now!”
Sventonidius said something in reply but I had already left the palace and didn’t hear him; the hubbub to be found everywhere in the big city drowned him out. That didn’t bother me too much, however, as I’d heard what I needed to hear, and it had given me a very simple idea. What if I stage a coup? I think that could work well for me.
I stood there for another few minutes lost in thought before heading toward the mission. Before I did anything, I needed to discuss it with Brother Yur. He seemed to know much more about the lay of the land than your ordinary treasurer.
***
Neither von Ostin nor Tren-Bren was on the mission porch, so I assumed the fairy had rushed the knight off into the woods. At least she’s getting something out of it.
The grandmaster was obviously there since I heard him yelling desperately in an attempt to intimidate Yur, who was standing at the top of the stair.
“And I’m telling you, Brother Yur, that woodworms ate all the chairs! You know what kind of climate we have! They’re everywhere, and they eat everything they can get their little mouths on! And since we should have uniformity throughout the missions, I went and bought the exact same furniture!”
“I g-guess the little worms ate holes r-right where the inventory numbers sh-should be?” There was no shaking Brother Yur off his tail. “And maybe they wrote ‘Lancelot’s an idiot’ on the back of this one.”
“No, of course the worms didn’t write that. It was probably one of my knights; you know how they get.”
“You know, I-I’m not even going to bother explaining t-to you why you’re lying.”
“Why would you think I’m lying?” Genuine hurt crept into von Ditmar’s voice.
“For starters, because I was the one who wrote that years ago.” Brother Yur clasped his hands behind his back and rocked on his heels, looking down fearlessly at the giant knight. “I wrote that a-about my desk mate Lancelot. He really was a-an idiot, dreaming all the time about f-finding and killing a dragon, even though w-we all know there’s n-no such thing. The furniture back then was j-just as bad as it is now, and here it is. So, c-could you explain how old chairs suddenly b-became new chairs?”
Von Ditmar, you’re about to owe me enough drinks to last the winter.
“Brother Yur, could I talk to you for a minute?” I asked, waving up at him. “It’s really important.”
He looked at me without much affection in his eyes, though he started down the stairs.
Chapter Twenty-One
In which the hero does his best to lay the groundwork for a coup.
“Is e-everything okay?” Brother Yur was clearly annoyed that I was getting in the way of accounting justice. “I hope you h-heard everything you needed to know?”
“Yes, and thank you again. I actually learned more than I wanted, and I had an idea I’d like to run by you; you’re the only person I have to ask for advice.”
I could tell that the treasurer knew much more than someone of his position would be expected to, and he was probably one of a very small number of characters in the game who could tell me if it was worth trying to trigger a coup. Not only that, but I really liked the NPC with his vivacious, if tired eyes, the sharp nose, and the fine sense of irony.
“What you w-want to tell me won’t send me to the scaffold, will it?” Brother Yur asked.
“I’m not sure I would say that, but I can’t say that it will,” I r
eplied honestly, though less than clearly. “You’re on the right track, however. I’d like to see if you think overthrowing the current government in the Western Reaches is worth a try.”
Brother Yur rubbed his chin and looked closely at me. “Why?”
I was a bit taken aback. “Well, I guess I just want to know if it’s possible.”
“N-no, I’m not talking about that. Nearly e-everything in this life is possible—you c-can eat a frog; climbing th-the highest mountain is more than doable; and if you know how and really want to, you can even turn a r-river around. But the question i-is, why? I-if you can answer that question f-for yourself, everything e-else is just part o-of a plan you should d-do your best to follow. So I-I want to know, why do you w-want to do that?”
I realized what he was getting at. “There’s something I need—really need—in the king’s treasury. Only the king can get in there, and so there’s no way I can buy or even steal it. The king is an absurd, idiotic nitwit, meaning that my only option is to get rid of him.”
While I’m not sure why, I had no desire to make up a story, and so I told Brother Yur the truth. He heard me out, taking some time to think and again rub his chin.
“Okay,” he said finally. “Your g-goal is clear, though it sounds like you’re m-more a r-romantic than a pragmatist—disappointing. And anything like ‘I need an item, so let’s overthrow the king’ is more than a little amateurish. With that s-said, there is some o-overlap in our goals. I certainly don’t a-approve of such measures as a rule but this king d-doesn’t exactly favor our order, a-and that is impacting our b-bottom l-line. It’s c-costing us more, as he’s s-spawned far too much c-corruption. All in all, I th-think your plan could be a good one b-both for the West and for the o-order.”
“That’s not exactly the answer I was looking for,” I replied, squinting at him.
“What k-kind of answer did you want? ‘You h-have my blessing’? I’m no p-priest; I’m a f-financier. I d-deal in f-facts and figures, and I have assets, l-liabilities, and my b-balance. That’s it. And for th-that reason, we’re going to head into the o-office and see what you have that c-could make this operation work. Adalard!”
The grandmaster appeared in front of us instantaneously.
“We’ll be n-needing your office for the next half-hour, so p-please place two knights on guard. Nobody i-is to come in, and any e-eavesdroppers I catch will find themselves rotting in m-missions somewhere in the South. Questions?”
“None whatsoever!” barked von Ditmar.
“N-no surprise there,” Brother Yur muttered to himself under his breath as he walked up the stairs. “No b-brains, no questions. Woodworm…”
Once in the office, he sat down at the table and looked at me. “Well, y-young man, go ahead. D-do you have any aces up your sleeve? And be up front w-with me—I can see right through you.”
You unlocked a set of hidden quests: All Hail the King!
Reward for completing the entire set:
8000 experience
4000 gold
Set item matching your class from the Treasury of the Western Kings
Signet Ring of the Western Crown
Title: Pillar of the Western Throne
Accept?
That was not something I was expecting to see. Okay, so it wasn’t a complete surprise, though it was a great find nonetheless. I wonder if Brother Yur is the only quest starter. Could there be more? Vitold, for example?
“So we’re g-going to just sit here quietly?” Brother Yur said, trying to hurry me along.
You unlocked Exact Plan.
This is the first in the All Hail the King! series of hidden quests.
Task: Talk with and convince the NPC that it is possible to overthrow the current king.
Reward:
1000 experience
Support for your endeavor on the part of the NPC
Ability to unlock the next quest in the series
Ah-ha, so it’s “the NPC,” and not “Brother Yur.” I had been right: he wasn’t the only quest starter. On the other hand, it didn’t make a difference. I would have pursued my idea regardless—getting a quest for it was just the cherry on top.
“If y-you’re not going to say anything, then th-this isn’t going to be very productive. I have b-better things to do,” Brother Yur said, his brows furrowed.
“No, no, I was just gathering my thoughts,” I replied quickly. “What would you like to know?”
“Me?” Brother Yur jabbed a finger at his chest. “I d-don’t want anything except to f-figure out what that tin fool von Ditmar did with a-all that money. Well, I guess I’d l-like to know why the universe i-is the way it is. But th-that’s it on my end. If you can t-tell me what you have and what y-you’re thinking, I may be able to h-help you get what you’re l-looking for.”
“My suggestion is to stage a palace coup in favor of Princess Anna,” I replied quickly. “From what I’ve heard, she’s smart enough, she’s ambitious, and, more important, she’s a powerful woman. Plus, she has royal blood in her veins.”
“Hold on, she’s s-still alive?” Brother Yur rubbed his hands. “I h-heard she’d left for the best of worlds already. Th-that’s a decent option…more or less.”
“She’s alive and well, and I don’t think she’d be opposed to taking the throne.”
“Well, to d-do that, she’ll first h-have to prove to the world that she has the r-right to it. If we can’t get past th-that problem, this entire conversation is pointless.”
“Bingo!” I clapped exultantly. “I have something you might find very interesting—the White Prince Crown.”
Brother Yur smiled sarcastically. “Yeah, r-right. And I imagine you h-have the seven rubies of kings past and the f-five magic wands from th-the Likura Empire!”
“No, I really do have it. I can’t show it to you right now, though, since it’s in my trunk. I don’t carry it around with me.”
Brother Yur turned dead serious. “Y-you’re not kidding? You have the Wh-white Prince Crown? You could use it to put a-anyone you want on the Western throne, even that blockhead von Ditmar.”
“Sure,” I said with a shrug. “Even von Ditmar, I guess.”
“Forget v-von Ditmar,” Brother Yur said with a wave of his hand. “I w-wouldn’t wish a king like th-that on anyone, even if he were completely d-devoted to the order. But the chances o-of your coup being successful just got a big b-boost. So, we h-have the crown, a c-contender for the throne (though we h-have to find her), and support from the o-order (though we’ll have to d-discuss the conditions for that support with th-the contender herself). N-not a bad s-start.”
“We just need some military might. The masses really should get involved as well,” I suggested.
“L-leave the masses be,” replied Brother Yur. “The rabble w-would just pillage and steal instead o-of doing what w-we want, and that d-doesn’t help us. It’s h-hard to deal with them.”
“I can talk with the delegation from the Borderlands; they obviously know which side the bread is buttered on. They have a stake in it, too.”
“That’s c-certainly interesting.” Brother Yur nodded. “Hired swords a-are always good to have. See if you can come to terms on a price and conditions, just don’t forget to haggle with them. Then send their l-leader here so I-I can discuss th-the whole thing with him. Although… I d-don’t think you’ll be up to the task. They’ll p-probably just give you a good d-drubbing. Still try though. The m-most important thing is to send the leader h-here. Although, you know, d-don’t discuss the price with him. They’ll t-take you for a ride, s-since you obviously don’t know your way around m-money. All right, your j-job is to make sure their leader comes here. Do y-your best.”
“So you’re going to be jumping in the middle of this?” I asked.
“You don’t have to p-put it like that,” Brother Yur replied with a frown. “But you’ve been open with me, s-so I’ll be open with you. The order could use a loyal monarch who remembers who put him o-or
her on the throne. Anna is as s-sly as they get—I know that as w-well as anyone—but the b-benefits, discounts, favored t-tax status…she’ll definitely give u-us all that. Given our ch-chances of success, which I already calculated, I think this is g-going to turn out well. The order will j-join you, though wars and coups aren’t in my j-job description. I’ll still h-handle the coordination, however. Y-yes… The Borderlands…that’s g-good, though it wouldn’t be a b-bad idea to find some more s-support.” Brother Yur stopped to think, clearly going over how we could seize control of the West with as little bloodshed as possible.
“Okay, I need to run; time is of the essence. My job,” I said, wrapping up what we’d discussed, “is to find Princess Anna, convince her to make a play for the throne, and bring her to the capital. Plus, I need to make a deal with the mercenaries and send them to you.”
“P-precisely,” Brother Yur replied with a nod. “I’ll e-expect you here at m-midnight on Sunday, and we’ll get started then. But everything h-has to be done by then. And r-remember, traitors aren’t just e-executed, they're drowned in bags. It’s a t-tradition!”
You completed a quest: Exact Plan
Reward:
1000 experience
Support for your endeavor on the part of the NPC
Ability to unlock the next quest in the series
I couldn’t help but be impressed by how smart the guy was. It was just a shame that he was a character in a computer game. I would have been happy to be friends with him in real life.
You unlocked Military Aid
This quest is not part of the main All Hail the King! series.
Task: Find at least two allies for your coup, each of which has at least thirty warriors to offer.
Reward:
2000 experience
Information: you are free to decline this quest without any negative consequences.
If you fail this quest, you will not fail the entire series but you will lose one random reward for completing it.
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