by Helen Conrad
Yet he did bend a bit. “I’m the one who’s sorry,” he said softly. “I shouldn’t have said that.” His mouth twisted, almost a smile. “Thanks for the compliment.”
He was still holding her and Kelly wanted to curl herself into his arms. Just that much of a softening on his part and she was ready to melt. The urge took her breath away. Was she crazy? She felt light-headed, dizzy.
“That’s all right,” she said, almost whispering. “I’ve said some things I regret, too.”
He didn’t speak, and he was still touching her, looking down as though he wasn’t quite sure what to do with her. Something hot and scary was cutting through her chest. She swallowed hard, desperate for some topic of conversation to lower the tension before that hot, scary thing exploded.
“I...I was surprised to see you here,” she managed to say brightly. “I didn’t expect you to be a Girls’ League fan.”
His eyes crinkled around the corners. He knew she was trying to make chitchat and he was ready to let her. “Most afternoons I take care of some business out of town—a little property I own. I come right by here. I noticed the game and decided to stop in and see what was going on.”
Why didn’t he tell her the truth, that he’d been watching her from a distance for days? Because he didn’t want her to know that. Why let her know he’d agonized over whether or not to make contact with her again? He still wasn’t sure just why he was doing it.
He shifted his weight, his hand moving on her arm. “Mind if I stop by once in a while and watch practice?”
Could he see how weak he made her? Kelly was afraid her knees would buckle any moment.
“We’d like to have you,” she said, breathless and hopelessly aware of his touch. As though he knew that, he slowly dropped his hand. She had to bite her lip to resist the impulse to touch the spot where his hand had been, to caress it.
Cody took a step backward. He was leaving her. She felt relieved and sad all at the same time.
“What time is practice for you?” he asked, looking back. As if he didn’t know. As if he hadn’t seen her day after day, arriving with a car full of girls supplied with bats and mitts.
She took a deep breath. “Four in the afternoon.”
His smile was slow and tantalizing. “Hey, that’s just about the time I usually drive by,” he drawled.
She blinked, hardly hearing his words, still overpowered by his presence. “Is it?”
His grin was disarming as he turned away. “It’s going to be,” he called back, then turned toward his car.
She stood very still, watching him go. The sunlight glistened on his black hair. He glanced back as he started the engine, gave her a jaunty wave and roared off.
“Well, what does this mean?” Kelly whispered as he left in a cloud of dust. Was he interested? And if so, was she glad?
###
Cody sat slumped behind the wheel of his sports car. He was in the field parking lot watching Kelly and her girls practicing a few hundred feet away, and he was trying to figure out why he’d come. It wasn’t as though he didn’t have plenty of other places to go. Hell, he’d turned down an invitation from the new star of the Palace Dinner Follies Revue in order to come out here and watch a bunch of youngsters play around in the dirt!
He didn’t need this middle-class spring ritual. He’d grown away from this, hadn’t he? He’d pulled away voluntarily and stepped into another world, where the games were more consequential.
It was one thing, after all, to stop by here and watch on his way back from working on the ranch in the desert—the secret project no one but Monty knew about. It was another to come here on purpose, to get out and join in.
He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, then looked at the field again. Kelly was in lavender capris and a white jersey top that set off her neat little figure. She looked no-nonsense, efficient. What had she said the other night? “I’ve seen the women you go for. What do you want with me?”
She had a point there. Lavish looks and generous proportions had been a way of life for him for years now. What on earth drew him so strongly to Kelly?
She was sure pretty enough. But in a town full of knockouts, let’s face it, she didn’t stand out. What was it about that turned-up nose, those cool green eyes, that round bottom that seemed so irresistible? Whatever it was had been tangling up his dreams lately.
Moving slowly, almost reluctantly, he opened the car door and got out. Shrugging off his jacket, he threw it into the car and closed the door. He looked around, then threw back his head and sniffed. There was a scent in the air, a feeling. What was it? He frowned and suddenly the picture of a lovely spring day twenty years before came into his mind. A day in a dusty western town, on a bedraggled baseball field much like this one. He and his buddies hadn’t had real uniforms, either. They’d made do with ragtag jeans and torn T-shirts. Funny. He hadn’t really thought about those days in years.
But they came back with a rush of sensation. He could feel the way the ball had fit into his young hand as he kicked at the pitcher’s mound that day, remember the look on the bulldog face of Muggs McGee as he bent over the plate, the bat high at his shoulder.
The battles between the two of them had been classic. Muggs McGee had usually won, but Cody could still remember the thrill each pitch had given him. Youthful ecstasy. Few things ever felt that clean and true in later life.
He shook his head, a slight smile on his face as he let himself remember. He could feel the sun on his back, hear the other kids yelling. And then another face swam in from his memory, a pretty face that had watched him as intently as he’d stared down the batter. Had it really been Muggs who’d driven him that day? Or had it been little Suzy Hurlimeyer with her big blue eyes and corn silk curls watching him from the sidelines?
Nah, no contest. He really hadn’t noticed little Suzy until later. Baseball had been all he’d thought about that summer. Now things were reversed. He met Kelly’s gaze as she saw him coming toward her. He saw the leap of excitement in her eyes before she had a chance to hide it. And he felt an answering response in himself.
Yes, things were reversed. Now baseball was just the icing on the cake.
“Hi.” Kelly was coming out to meet him. The girls were going through a fly ball drill behind her.
“Hi.” He stopped and let her come to him. He examined her in detail, enjoying the fact that she could look so good with only sunshine on her face and no makeup to speak of.
“What are you doing here?” Kelly wished she could keep the happiness out of her voice, but it was no use. She was glad to see him. She’d stayed up half the night arguing with her own common sense about this, but common sense had lost out. She liked Cody Marin. She more than liked him.
“I told you I’d come. Didn’t you believe me?”
She smiled. “I believed you, but I still don’t know why you’d want to.”
“I told you. I played when I was a kid. I’d like to help out, if I could.” He gestured toward the girls. “I see Penny is back in the action.”
Kelly nodded. “I gave them all a long lecture. They apologized and pledged to do better next time.” She sighed. “People can be so cruel.”
“People can also be extraordinarily kind,” he reminded her. His gaze went from her face to that of her daughter, who’d come up behind Kelly to see what was going on.
“Here, Tammy,” he said, noticing the ball in her hands. He quickly rolled up his sleeves. “Toss it here.” He took the catch expertly and threw it back with a smooth, fluid motion. There was no doubt about it. He could play ball.
“You’re going to get dirty,” she warned, half amused. Her gaze fell on his bare arms, the dark hair bristling against smooth skin. Everything about him set her pulse on fire.
“I’ve gotten a lot dirtier than this in my time,” he retorted. “Don’t you worry about me.” He started toward where the girls were practicing, then looked back. “You don’t mind if I get involved?”
She shook
her head, her eyes shining. “Not at all.”
Over the next week or so he came every day. He was helpful, enthusiastic, knowledgeable—and the girls loved him. At first Kelly was overjoyed to have him take over much of the burden of coaching. After all, she’d never really wanted the job. She’d only taken it when there was no choice—it was either that or have no softball team for Tammy to play on. But as time passed and coaching was all he did, she began to wonder.
Why was he here? Did he really love softball that much? What had happened to that special feeling that she’d been so sure was growing between the two of them?
Confused, she’d turned to Sadie for an outsider’s viewpoint. It was a slow morning at the nursery. The distributor had just dropped off a truckload of palms and bedding annuals and they were putting them out on the tables.
“He’s friendly,” she told Sadie. “And he shows up for every practice. He smiles and teases—but...” She shrugged and reached down for another tray of rock-roses. “He acts like that’s all there is. There’s never even the suggestion that we might go out or be alone.”
Leaning across the counter while filling out price stickers, Sadie shook her brightly colored hair. “You’re sure this is the same guy who came in here the other day and bought out all our florist stock just to get a date with you? You’re sure this isn’t his less intelligent twin brother or something?”
Kelly’s laugh was rueful. “Oh, it’s him, all right. I’m just not sure if he’s lost interest or is trying to make a point. I mean maybe he’s bewitched by the suburban life, the softball and Saturday barbecues or something. Maybe he’s missed all that for years now and that’s all he wants.”
Sadie straightened, hands on her hips, and scowled at Kelly. “Honey, if that man can be around you every day and that’s still all he wants, he’s not worth having. Forget him.” She paused, gazing speculatively at Kelly. “Now what about that nice man, that Glenn Waxman? What’s happening there?”
Kelly threw her a baleful look. “Nothing. Zero. And that’s exactly the way I want it.”
“Aw, honey.” Sadie sat on the bench and sighed. “Listen, I know the gambler is more attractive. Believe me, I’ve been there. But for security’s sake, a man like Glenn Waxman is the answer to your prayers. He’d be a wonderful provider. He wouldn’t disappear at odd moments and never explain where he’d been. He’d be a great father for Tammy.”
Sadie went on and on, but Kelly wasn’t listening any longer. She knew all the things that Sadie was saying. She’d enumerated them often enough to herself. After the disastrous experience she’d had with Tim, she should have been ready to agree to every argument. Yet something deep inside kept rooting for Cody.
The bell on the front door of the shop jangled. Sadie looked up, but her smile of welcome quickly faded and she paled as she noted who their visitor was. “Oh no, I’ve got to get out of here!” she whispered, backing away toward the storeroom. “You’d better take care of this. Don’t let him know I’m here!”
“But...” Kelly’s head turned to see who had so frightened Sadie. She found herself looking into the cool gray eyes of Monty Cross, the owner and manager of the Marquis Casino.
Chapter Six
“Hello, Mr. Cross,” she said pleasantly, brushing the loose dirt from her hands. “What can I do for you?”
He gazed at her for a moment, eyebrows raised. “We’ve met before, haven’t we?” he inquired at last.
“Yes. I’m Kelly Carrington. I was with Cody Marin the other night. We had dinner served on the floor of your casino.”
A smile softened the hardness of his handsome face. “That’s right. Of course. I remember you now.” He took her hand in his large paw and shook it warmly. “I hope you enjoyed your evening.”
“Oh yes, very much.” She had to return his infectious smile in kind. There was something pleasant about this man, something she liked. “What is it I can do for you today?”
“Well...” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his thick western rawhide jacket and glanced about the place, his sharp gaze probing every corner. “I wanted to talk to Sadie. Is she in?”
Kelly licked her dry lips. She hated lying. “I’m afraid she’s... stepped out for a moment. Can I help?’’
Monty Cross shook his head slowly, his gaze appraising her shrewdly. “I don’t think so,” he drawled. “This is about those orchids she sold me.”
“Ah.” She smiled brightly. “Well, I might be able...”
“Look.” He brought his hand down hard on the countertop, making Kelly jump. His eyes were flint-hard and his face was set. “I’ve called here three times and she’s never called me back. Now when I show up, she’s suddenly stepped out for a minute. Something tells me that that minute could get awful long if I decided to hang around here and wait for her. Am I right? Or am I right?”
Kelly was surprised and just a little shaken by the vehemence of his words. Sadie was usually good about returning customer calls. In fact, there were times she was so solicitous toward customers that she practically gave the place away. There had to be something else at work here.
“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mr. Cross,” she said primly.
He laughed shortly. “Don’t you? I’ll just bet.” He turned suddenly, as though he thought he might catch Sadie peeking out from behind the stacks of planter mix. But when that didn’t work, he swung back. “You give a message to Sadie for me. Tell her I expect to hear from her tonight. Okay?”
Kelly nodded. She waited until he’d walked briskly out the door, then called softly toward the storeroom. “You can come out now. He’s gone.”
Sadie came out looking sheepish. “Thanks, honey,” she said, craning to get a glimpse of Monty’s car. “That was close.”
Kelly shook her head in exasperation. “Are you going to tell me what the heck is going on here?”
Sadie looked at her and winced. “Oh, rats!” was all she would say.
Kelly stared at her friend, growing frustrated. “What is the matter with you? Why can’t you just face the man and tell him that his orchids can’t grow in this desert climate?”
Sadie threw up her hands. “But that’s just it, honey. His orchids are doing fine.” She tossed her head. “Not that he really gives a darn. It’s me he’s trying to cultivate.”
Kelly blinked. “What? You mean...he likes you?” Kelly was confused. It wasn’t that she didn’t think Sadie attractive. She obviously was, very much so. But Sadie had never seemed to have any interest in men for herself. And to think of a man like Monty being after her!
“Oh, never mind!” Sadie cried, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “You think your life is messed up? Just be glad you’re not living mine!”
She heaved a tremulous sigh and hurried out of the room, and that was the last Kelly saw of her for another hour and a half. When Sadie did come back she was completely uncommunicative. Kelly was left to figure this one out on her own.
Not that she had much time for mulling it over. Her mind was full of Cody. There was hardly room for anything else. The way he was acting was like a Chinese puzzle—no matter what conclusion she came to, some little tag still hung out, invalidating the whole thing.
Did she want a relationship with this man? The answer to that was crystal clear now. Yes, she most certainly did. Was it right? Was it smart? Of course not. But it was something she wanted, needed. Something she’d never had before.
She’d been so young when she’d married Tim she’d hardly known what she was doing. He’d been handsome, exciting. But in marrying him, she’d buried herself in him. Everything they’d done had been for Tim and his career. Her role in life had been to stand on the sidelines and cheer, to pose for pictures as the smiling wife, to hold his trophies while he kissed the beauty queens. Sometimes she’d wondered if Tim really ever saw her.
He’d married her, but she’d never felt beloved. They’d slept together, but she’d never felt loved. He’d taken her with him,
but she’d never felt cherished or even important. Any willing female could have performed the job as wife to Tim Stanton just as well as she had. And Tim might not even have noticed the difference.
At first she hadn’t realized how hollow their marriage was. She had very little to compare it to. But after Tammy was born, she began to notice how little attention Tom paid to his new daughter. Then she’d seen how little attention he paid to her, as well.
A feeling had grown in her. It wasn’t resentment exactly—it felt more like bewilderment. Was there something wrong with her that he couldn’t love her the way she felt she should be loved? Dissatisfaction had grown stronger, but before she’d had a chance to confront it, and him, there had been the tragic boating accident. Tammy had lost her father. But what had Kelly lost? She was never sure, and the mixed feelings of rage, loneliness, guilt and regret had all boiled inside her for so long.
She needed to cleanse herself of them. Maybe Cody was the way. He was completely wrong for her, and yet in some paradoxical way maybe that was what would make him right.
The question was, how to get him to cooperate? Kelly had never gone after a man before. What did other women do? What did the women that he usually went out with do to attract him?
True, that was a hopeless tack to take, she decided, viewing herself critically in the mirror the next afternoon. Her reflection told the sad truth. If you didn’t have the equipment available, you just didn’t, and there was no use trying to fake it. He’d seen enough to know the truth and padding wasn’t going to fool him.
Maybe, though, just a little push-up bra... She tried the effect, adjusting the ordinary bra she had on, pushing hard from underneath and taking a deep breath to help things along, but one look and the air burst back out in a gasp of laughter. It was no use. She was what she was.