by Shayna Ryan
Maybe I should have tried harder with John. Our relationship had been going well, up until he was transferred out of state for his job. Sure, he wasn’t as hot as Will, but he was a good looking guy and easy to get along with. The sex wasn’t nearly as amazing as what Will and I were currently sharing, but it wasn’t bad, either. With a groan I realized that while I was thoroughly enjoying Will’s bed during my stay at the Inn, he was probably raising the bar for every other guy I would ever sleep with. It’d be a long time and many lovers before I stopped comparing my sexual partners to him. Definitely not a bonus. My future lovers had their work cut out for them, thanks to Will’s undeniable talent in the bedroom.
I realized just how lonely I had been. I wasn’t one of those man-crazy women, desperate to find a husband, but I did enjoy being in a relationship. It was nice to have someone to share my life with, someone to come home to at the end of the day. Having someone to roll around in bed with wasn’t bad, either.
“The bathroom’s free,” Will called across the hall. Hearing his voice again made me smile.
“Thanks,” I called back. For a moment I debated asking him if I could stay the night in his bed beside him, but then I thought the better of it. We didn’t have that kind of relationship, even if we did enjoy each other’s company both in and out of bed. It didn’t change my desire to sleep next to him, though.
I threw on my pajamas and went to finish getting ready for bed. After I brushed my teeth, I climbed into bed and turned out the light. All was quiet around me, offering me no distractions from my thoughts about relationships and love. I wanted it, I decided. I wanted the man and the sex and the companionship. Will could offer me that short term, and when I got back to Hartford I would make it a priority to find the kind of man I could share my life with. I had been alone too long, and it was time to change that.
As I approached the edge of sleep, I heard my door push open and sensed someone padding across the area rug towards my bed. I wasn’t sure I could go another round of steamy sex at the moment, no matter how good in bed the guy was.
“Calista?” he whispered softly, trying to gage if I was awake or asleep.
“Hi.”
The mattress shifted and I slid over to make room for Will as he slid into bed next to me.
“Is it okay…I mean…do you mind if I sleep next to you tonight?”
“Of course not.” I waited for him to make a move to get things hot and heavy again, but instead he turned me on my side and slid up behind me. He draped his arm across my midsection and I smiled in the darkness surrounding us as I rested one hand on his arm across me.
“This is nice,” I murmured. If he was okay with sharing a bed the whole night through and actually sleeping, I’d take that. Guess I wasn’t the only one who didn’t want to sleep alone that night. He nuzzled my neck affectionately, and I savored the feeling of his touch. There wasn’t anything sexual about it, but the feeling of his scratchy chin against my skin made me feel alive somehow. Like I had spent too much time encased in my own bubble, unaware of what I was missing out on without a lover’s gentle caress in my life.
My mind kept going back to the pictures of him with the blonde, and I couldn’t shake my curiosity. It was now or never. There might not be another moment like this when I could ask him the question burning in my brain without having to look him in the eye as I pried into a part of his history that he clearly preferred to keep buried. But I had to know, consequences be damned.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”
“That blonde…the one in the pictures in your room? Who is she?”
My question was met by only silence, and I worried that I had pushed him too far. I should have known better. Shame reared its ugly head as I chastised myself for not respecting his personal boundaries.
Eventually he rolled onto his back, pulling me with him. I took it as a sign that he wasn’t angry with me after all and snuggled down on his chest so I could hear the steady beat of his heart again.
“Her name was Theresa,” he finally said. “I met her just out of high school and she was the love of my life. We were supposed to be married the summer before last.”
“You were engaged?” I wondered what kind of idiot would let a guy like Will go, until I realized that he had spoken about her in the past tense.
“We were. She was killed by a drunk driver a few months before our wedding.” He could barely spit the words out.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. No wonder he didn’t want to talk about it. I felt like a fool for asking.
“So am I. When she died I here, just to get some distance away from that reminded me of her. I couldn’t stay in our apartment, or our town about ten miles from here. Dottie needed help so I came to the Inn.”
So he had come to the Inn to hide from his pain. Since I had never loved anyone the way he clearly loved Theresa, I could only imagine how much pain he had suffered through. It saddened me to realize that no one had ever loved me like that. Maybe no one ever would. While I watched my friends settle down and find long term mates, I remained alone, always alone. My relationships never seemed to work out for me, and I didn’t understand why.
“I had no idea.”
“No, you couldn’t have. I don’t like to talk about it much.”
“I’m sorry I brought it up.” And I was. It wasn’t my intention to force him to relive his personal trauma, and I never would have asked if I had any inkling it was as bad as all that.
“Don’t worry about it, really. It’s actually good for me to talk about it from time to time. Sometimes Janie and I talk about her, and it helps, at least a little bit.”
“Janie?”
“She’s Theresa’s sister. She was another reason I moved up here. Theresa used to keep an eye on her and the kids, but I kind of took over once she was gone.”
“That’s why the kids call you Uncle!”
“Yup. I didn’t get to have the title officially, but close enough, as far as I’m concerned.”
Something still simmered in my brain, and once again I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.
“Has there been anyone else…since Theresa?”
This time he didn’t need time to consider his answer. “Nope, not at all–until you.”
I know he said it had been a while since he had slept with anyone, I just never imagined that it had been that long. It was kind of flattering, in a way; no doubt he could have almost any woman he wanted, yet it was me he chose to end his streak of celibacy. Maybe he felt safer giving it a go with me because I was guaranteed to disappear shortly so there was less risk of him getting hurt. He could enjoy a little romance and fun without the risk of getting attached. His long run of celibacy would also explain why he was such a beast in the bedroom. A year and a half without sex could cause a big back up of pent up sexual energy in any man. Or woman.
“What about you?” he asked as he stroked my hair. “How come nobody’s snatched you up?”
His choice of words made me chuckle. “I just don’t date much, I guess.”
“How come? No doubt they’re lining up to take you out, the way you look.”
I swatted at him playfully, though the compliment pleased me. “It’s not lack of dates,” I explained, “just no one I care for, exactly.”
“You haven’t found that special someone?”
“Not yet, I guess.”
“You will,” he assured me, “I’m sure of that.” He yawned loudly and fell silent once again.
I could tell by the rhythm of his breathing that he had drifted off to sleep, but I stayed awake for a long time past that, listening to the soothing beat of his heart. It was hard to believe that such a steady, strong heart had ever been broken.
-8-
The next morning, Will was already put of bed and downstairs by the time I woke. The smell of freshly brewed coffee wafted down the hallway, and I hurried to shower and dress so that I could grab a cup.
Dottie and Will were at t
he table chatting and Dottie greeted me with a big smile. My heart jumped as Will tossed me a knowing smirk and a wink. He looked delicious as usual in a cream cable knit sweater and a fresh pair of jeans, and I looked forward to peeling them off of him in the privacy of one of our bedrooms later in the day.
After we had a cup of coffee with Dottie, Will grabbed his keys and we took the short drive down to Ginger’s to grab some food before we went for our hike.
The café was packed full of locals. One group at a large table looked like they had just come from church in their dressy clothes, while the others looked like they had been just rolled out of bed and thrown on the first clothes they put their hands on. It was an eclectic mix and I found myself wondering if the whole town was there. At least it was so busy that no one appeared to take much notice of my presence.
As we walked in and headed for the few last empty seats at the counter, I spied Blue across the café. He was chatting animatedly with another man, but when he caught sight of me he raised his hand and gave me a little wave, which I returned. He was a friendly face in a sea of strangers, and I appreciated his kindness.
“Hey, you guys are back! Coffee?” Ginger grabbed a pair of mugs before either of us even had the chance to answer.
“Hey, Ginger, how’s it going today?” Will asked her and passed me a menu.
“Busy, as always on a Sunday! Feels like the whole town is out today. We got some leaf peepers, too.” She nodded her head towards a large group sitting in the corner, the ones dressed in their Sunday finery. “Say they’re driving to see the leaves, then grabbing dinner at some posh place in the city on their way back.”
Ah. That explained why they stuck out the way they did in there. Now that Ginger mentioned it, I noticed the other café patrons were busily staring at them instead of me this time. No wonder they weren’t paying attention to me anymore–I was old news in town now that the leaf peepers had arrived.
“What’ll it be, guys?”
Will and I placed our orders, and a few minutes later Ginger brought us our plates stacked high with waffles, bacon and sausage. Just as I cut into my waffles, Blue came over to chat.
“Well, those are fine meals ya got there!” he boomed. “So what are you two up to for the rest of the day?”
“Hey, Blue. We’re thinking of taking a hike after brunch, maybe on the old mill trail.”
“Nice day for a hike,” Blue agreed. “But if you’d like, you can borrow my canoe. Got it strapped on my truck out back. I did some early morning fishing down on Stowell Pond, but I’m done with it now, if you two want to use it for a spell.”
Canoeing. I hadn’t been canoeing in a long time. I vaguely recalled paddling in one at summer camp years ago, but it had been over a decade ago. I liked it–I think.
“Do you want to go canoeing?” Will asked.
“Sure, sounds like fun.”
“We’ll take you up on that if you’re serious, Blue. I can drop it at your place on the way back later today.”
“Sure thing. You just let me know when you’re ready to go and I’ll help you load it up.” He gave Will a hearty slap on the back and wandered back to his table.
“All right then,” Will grinned, “canoeing it is. Stowell Pond’s kind of small. I’m thinking we could head over to Kennebec Lake instead.”
“Sounds like a plan,” I agreed.
Once we finished eating, Will paid the bill and insisted on paying Blue’s as well. Ginger shook her head with a bemused smile as she accepted payment for both bills. Will signaled to Blue that we were ready to go, and he excused himself from his table and came to help us load the canoe.
I followed Blue out to the back of the diner while Will grabbed his truck to come around back to meet us.
“So you and Will, huh?” Blue teased as we waited for Will.
“It’s that obvious, is it?” I blushed.
“To anyone that knows Will, yeah. I was watching you guys in the diner and I can see it. He’s different with you around. Don’t get me wrong, he’s always been a great guy, but it’s been a long time since any of us have seen him smile the way he does around you. You must be something special.”
“I–” Just then Will pulled up, cutting our conversation short.
He and Blue untied the canoe from Blue’s truck and secured it to Will’s. As I watched them, I considered what Blue had told me. It was hard to believe that I really had such a remarkable effect on Will to the point that others could see a change in him for the better. But it must have been true–how would Blue know about us otherwise?
It was a short drive to Kennebec Lake, and Will told me all about the area on the ride.
“If we’re lucky we’ll see some wildlife today.”
“Like what?”
“Well, that remains to be seen, doesn’t it?” he teased with a grin.
In Hartford, on Sundays, if I wasn’t going out to one trendy new place or another to grab some brunch with a friend or two, I’d be at home right now. I’d probably be curled up on the couch with a good book, sipping my morning latte. Canoeing out on some Maine lake in the middle of nowhere was a big change from my usual routine, and I was a little bit nervous about it.
“There aren’t bears out there, are there?”
Will laughed and reached across the cab to grab my hand. “Of course there are–this is the wilds of Maine! But the good news is that even though they’re around, they prefer to stay away from people, generally speaking. I highly doubt that we’ll see a bear today, though I suppose anything’s possible. I’m hoping we’ll spot a moose, maybe.”
We pulled into the little gravel parking area and Will picked a spot.
“Well, we’re in luck today! Nobody here but us, at least for now. “
I helped him untie the canoe and bring it down to the water’s edge.
“Hang on.” He jogged back to the truck and returned a moment later with a pair of lifejackets. I looked at him skeptically. “Seriously, you have to wear this.”
With a sigh, I accepted the ugly orange life jacket and watched him put on his so I knew what to do. It was ugly and uncomfortable, but I wasn’t about to argue with him.
“You get in first, then I’ll push us off. Just stay in the center and stay low.”
“You’ve become awfully bossy all of the sudden,” I teased as I followed his instructions.
“Just doin’ my job, Ma’am,” he shot back, still joking around.
He launched the boat and we drifted a little bit before he declared it was time to put the paddles in. The sound of his laughter floated up to the front of the boat when he saw how inept I was at paddling.
“Okay, before we start with the sight-seeing, how about a little lesson on how this whole canoeing thing is done?”
“Yeah, that might be a good idea. I’m afraid we don’t do much canoeing down in Hartford.”
Will was a patient teacher, and after a few minutes under his tutelage, I was starting to get the hang of it.
“Now you’ve got it! You’re a natural.”
“Now you’re just lying.”
It was nice paddling around the lake, just enjoying the beautiful weather. We didn’t speak for a while as we soaked in the beauty and tranquility of the lake and surrounding forests.
“Let’s loop back around those islands and then continue back past the parking area,” Will suggested. “Rumor has it there’s a beaver damn in one of the streams feeding into this lake.”
“They don’t bite or anything, do they?” All I could picture was their gigantic teeth.
“Not unless you’re a tree,” Will mused. I could hear the amusement in his voice and I blushed. I didn’t mean to act like a stupid city girl, but it’s not like I knew much about wildlife.
I marveled at the little islands as we passed them. They were like little pristine oases, just small bits of untouched beauty in a world where such things were becoming increasing hard to find.
“Look to your right, by those rocks just ahea
d!” Will demanded excitedly. “That’s a blue heron!”
His excitement was contagious and I held my breath as I watched the graceful large bird pick its way carefully through the shallow water near an outcropping of rocks.
“What’s it doing?”
“Hunting, of course. Blue Herons love fish.”
“I’ve never seen one before!”
“You wouldn’t, living in the city.”
As we continued past the islands, I spotted a mossy bank on the edge of one of them. It was green and lush, and the afternoon’s sunlight spilled through the trees and cast ribbons of yellow through the air around it. It would be the perfect spot to stop and have a quick, discreet romp. Unbeknownst to Will, I had pocketed a couple of condoms that morning before going downstairs, just in case such an opportunity arose.
Just as I was about to suggest we stop for a little fun, something in the water caught my eye. It was long and thin, and swimming straight towards me.
I was petrified of snakes, and seeing even the smallest of the repulsive things was enough to kick my instincts into overdrive. Finding one in the water was totally unexpected and terrifying, so without even thinking about it I tried to skitter backwards in the canoe to put some distance between us as I let out a surprised shriek.
“Stop or you’ll tip the–” Will’s warning came too late and the canoe suddenly rolled as I scrambled to get away from the snake.
Suddenly I was surrounded by ice cold water. Everything went black for a second before bright flashes of lights sparked behind my eyes. I flailed wildly about, suddenly aware that I wasn’t drowning after all and my life jacket had forced my head above the water level. Al I could think about was the snake that was somewhere in the water with me. I sputtered in terror as I thrashed about, trying to locate it. I couldn’t find it. It could be anywhere.
Something grabbed me from behind and I shrieked again.
“Easy, easy, I’ve got you.” Will held me by my life jacket in one hand and began side stroking towards the little island with his free arm. “Calm down, it’s okay. We’re okay.”