by Shayna Ryan
“I have a long list of things I need from you right now.”
“And I have a long list of things that I’m going to do to you later tonight. I’ll be home as soon as I can, okay?”
“Okay.” I feared that he was right; this was going to be an unbearably long day apart.
And it was, even though I did my best to keep busy. I spent most of the day helping Dottie with the cleaning, despite her protests.
“But you’re a guest!”
“A guest with nowhere to go, so I might as well pitch in,” I countered. I think she was actually glad for the help.
She showed me were the washer and dryer were located, down in the basement, and I did a few loads of laundry since I was running out of clean clothes. When lunch time approached, I made lunch for us, turkey sandwiches again.
“So Will is sure in a better mood today,” Dottie commented off-handedly while we ate. “Did you two work it out?”
“Yes. For now, at least.”
“You two will figure it out. But what’s this I hear about some sort of trouble down at the café last night? Something about Will punching another man over you? Everybody was talking about it at my quilting club last night.” I must have looked surprised because she added, “It’s a small town, dear. News travels fast, and there isn’t much of it, so when something big happens, everybody knows. I didn’t want to ask Will about it in case it was something that he might be embarrassed to tell me about.”
“Well…” So I told her. I told her everything, though I didn’t get into the specifics of what they said to me. There was no way that I was going to explain to a woman old enough to be my grandmother the exact words or phrases the two men used to imply what they wanted to do with me. She got the gist of it, and that was enough.
When I came to the part about Mikey putting his hand on my thigh, Dottie became even more outraged than she was already.
“That Mikey, he’s nothing but trouble! Always has been, always will be. His momma didn’t raise him right, that’s for sure! Putting his hands on a woman like that!” Her outrage might have been almost comical, if not for the subject at hand.
“…so Will punched him in the face and dropped him on the ground with a bloody nose before setting Dean straight on how things were going to be.”
Dottie clucked and shook her head disapprovingly, but I saw the pride in her eyes. “While I never condone men fighting like animals, sounds like Will gave those two just what they had coming!”
“He sure did.”
“You could do worse than Will, you know.”
“I know.”
“He’d make a fine husband, and father,” she prodded.
“I’m not ready for a husband or children!” I sputtered. “Besides, we haven’t even known each other a week yet!” My mind mulled over the whole no condom bit again, and I felt myself break out into a clammy sweat as I silently prayed that I wasn’t pregnant.
“Doesn’t matter if it takes a week or a decade, you know. If you’re meant to be, you’re meant to be, and no amount of denial can change that.”
“I don’t think we’re headed for all of that, Dottie. It just wouldn’t work out.” As I said the words aloud, my stomach dropped because it was true, and it hurt my very soul acknowledge it.
After lunch, Dottie and I did some more cleaning, but eventually she grew tired and needed to rest a bit. I watched the clock anxiously, eager for Will’s arrival, but the minutes dragged by slowly.
I grabbed a late shower, dressed, and carefully applied my makeup. I wanted to look my best when he got home.
It was odd, prepping myself and waiting for him to come home. Dottie’s words danced in my brain, and I laughed out loud. While I had to agree that Will would probably make an excellent husband and father for someone, it was ridiculous for me to even consider him in those terms, no matter what Dottie thought.
My heart grew heavy as the realization that this was only short term hit me again. Maybe it was for the best that way. Our time together was too brief to allow the worst in us to come out. Our limited time meant that when we ended it, we could end it on a good note instead of a sour one. As long as I wasn’t pregnant. That would change everything.
Will came home at 5:30, and he ran right up the stairs to find me. I was in my room, just coming out to greet him, and he grabbed me by my waist, swung me around, and then gave me a big, enthusiastic kiss.
“What was that for?” I laughed.
“I missed you today,” he shrugged with a grin. “Can’t a guy say hello?”
“That’s not all you can do,” I purred as I began unbuttoning his shirt. While he looked good in anything he wore, there was something about the warden uniform that was a big turn-on.
“Sorry, not yet. Dinner will be ready soon.”
I stopped undressing him and play-pouted at the news that we had to wait.
“Those lips! I’ve got a few things you can do with those lips later on…”
“Sorry, not yet,” I mocked.
He reached around the back of me and gave my ass a solid smack as he grinned at me.
“Oooh, spanking! I could get into that!”
“You’re insufferable. I’ll have to think of what to do about that.” He nipped my earlobe playfully and I squealed with glee. “Now come on, let’s go see if we can help Dottie.”
When we got down to the kitchen, we were just in time to find Dottie putting the finishing touches on dinner. There was fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and green beans. My stomach rumbled as soon as the delicious aromas reached my nose.
The meal was a casual affair, as always, and Will filled us in on how he had spent his day at work. He and Dottie shared an easy rapport, and I found myself feeling a little jealous that I had no one in my life to share such a thing with. Except Will, but he didn’t really count since it was all just temporary.
In the middle of dinner, my cell phone rang. I excused myself and took the call in the front entryway.
“Hey, Calista, Bobby here. Just wanted to let you know that the last of your parts came in today, and it looks like everything’s on schedule to have your vehicle fixed by Friday.”
I should have been ecstatic to hear this news. Just a few days ago, I couldn’t bear the thought of staying here until my SUV was fixed. Friday had felt ages away then, but now it felt like it was just around the corner. I was crushed to hear that everything was on schedule.
“Thanks, Bobby. Just keep me in the loop, okay?” When the call was finished, I went back to dinner.
“That was Bobby,” I announced carefully. “He says my car should be done on Friday after all.”
“Well, that’s good news, isn’t it?” Dottie asked brightly. When she caught the somber expressions on both my face and Will’s, she realized her error. “You’re welcome to stay here longer, of course, if you’re not ready to go on Friday. You could stay as long as if you like, no charge. After all you helped me out today, it’s the least I could do!”
I caught Will’s anxious expression, and I knew that he wanted me to agree to stay a bit longer, but I wasn’t sure that it would be the right thing to do. It was tempting, but I wasn’t sure that I wanted to delay my departure. I feared that it would only make it harder for the both of us.
“Thanks, Dottie. That’s really generous of you, but I think that I’ll have to head home as soon as my car’s ready.”
“Well, the offer stands, should you change your mind,” she assured me.
As soon as we were able, Will and I excused ourselves and went upstairs. We quickly arrived right back where we had ended that morning, before he went to work, but there was something markedly subdued about it. Will was doing and saying all the right things, but it was all tinged with a certain sadness rather than the playfulness of earlier.
Finally, I could stand it no more. I pushed his head away and sat up. My worries were distracting me from the physical pleasure he was bringing me, and I couldn’t take another minute of it.
> “What? What’s the matter?”
“You tell me,” I replied. “You haven’t been the same since Bobby called at dinner.”
He sat next to me on the bed and held his head in his hands. Time ticked by as I waited for him to reply.
“I just don’t understand why you won’t stay, not even a few more days. What do you have to rush home to, exactly?”
“Not much,” I admitted quietly. “But I need to change that. I need to get back to my apartment and get job hunting again. My life’s been upside down for a while now, and I need to get it back on track.”
“You could do that here, with me.”
Now this was something new. This was not asking me to stay a few more days, this was asking me to stay permanently. Not in so many words, but I got the gist of it.
“I can’t, and you know it. We knew this was coming, Will. It’s not like it’s some big surprise here.”
“You could stay, if you really wanted to. You could move up here with us, move into my room with me,” he offered cautiously.
“Will...I can’t do that, and you know it.”
“Why not? You could, if you really wanted to. You even said it yourself; it’s not like you have a job to rush back to.”
“That’s not fair and you know it! I have a life, Will, a life back where I belong, in Hartford. You have to understand that.”
“I do understand that. I just don’t understand why you want throw away what’s between us.” His voice was tense, and I sensed that he was hurting.
I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and rested my chin on his thick shoulder. “We knew this was coming, and I need to go home when it’s time. It’s not personal, and you know it.”
“I do,” he sighed, “but that doesn’t mean that I have to agree with it.”
“It doesn’t matter if you agree or not,” I reminded him gently. “This was always the plan from Day One, and it hasn’t changed. Unless…” It was a totally crazy idea, a terrific, crazy idea. “What if you came back to Hartford with me?”
“You know I can’t do that, Calista. I would be miserable in the city, and who would look after Dottie? This is where I belong, and this is where I’ll stay, with or without you.”
Anger flared within me. I couldn’t believe that he expected me to drop everything to move to the middle of nowhere to be with him, but he wouldn’t even consider moving to Hartford.
“I guess I was mistaken,” I declared as I moved away from him and stood up. “For all this talk about being together and making a go of it, it seems like you’re not willing to give anything up to do it.”
“This is my home, Calista. I have family, and a job, and a community here. If I move to Hartford, I’ll have to leave all of that behind.”
“And just what the hell do you think you’re asking me to do?” I snapped as I gathered up my clothes. “So it’s too much to expect you to join me in Hartford, but I should drop everything in my life? I can’t…no, I won’t. I’m sorry Will, but this wasn’t meant to turn into anything, and I guess we best not try to change that now.” And with that I huffed off to my room across the hall, slamming his door behind me.
-16-
I wondered if he’d come into my room at some point in the night to smooth things over, but he never did. I tossed and turned for hours, finally falling asleep in the wee hours of the morning. I woke up alone after sleeping much of the morning away.
Will had slipped a note under my door at some point before he headed off to work for the day. I sat on my bed and stared at it, afraid to even unfold it to read it. What if he hated me now? Or what if he suddenly agreed to move to Hartford? I had invited him without really thinking it through in the heat of the moment, and I now realized just how unwise that had been. I would have welcomed him into my life there, but I also would have shouldered a great personal responsibility for his happiness. If he moved to Hartford and was miserable there, I would know it was all because of me. I didn’t want that for either of us.
He was right; he belonged up here in the wilds of Maine. But I was right as well; I belonged in Hartford, where once I got a job, my life would be just as I liked it.
How did we ever come to this point, as such completely different people? I didn’t know and I didn’t care. The only thing I knew was that in a few days I would be leaving, and now I might have ruined everything, or, worse yet, pushed Will into something he didn’t want.
Unable to stand the suspense any longer, I finally unfolded the note.
Calista,
I’m sorry for the way things were left last night. While it kills me that you’re leaving, I understand. I can’t move down to Hartford anymore than you can move up here, so I guess we’re at an impasse of sorts. I don’t want to worry about it anymore- I just want to enjoy our last few days together. Can we do that? Just let it go and enjoy the time that’s left? I hope so –Will
A noisy sigh of relief escaped me as I read his note. We could agree to disagree in an effort to make the most of the time we had left together. It was the best solution, really. Neither of us wanted to spend the next two evenings arguing over who should move where.
I grabbed my cell phone and sent him a quick text to let him know that I had read his note and all was forgotten. He responded a few minutes, saying that he couldn’t wait to see me later that night.
Because I had slept in so late, the day flew by. I helped Dottie once again, after she asked if I wouldn’t mind pulling down all of the curtains around the house so that she could wash them. When I caught her up on a stool, feebly trying to wash the inside of the windows, I shooed her away and took over. I didn’t mind, and it spared her the trouble.
By the time 5:00 rolled around, I was practically crawling out of my skin with anticipation over seeing Will again. 5:30 came and went, then 6:00.
“Looks like he’s running a bit late tonight, honey,” Dottie soothed, sensing my agitation. “Let’s just eat without him, and he’ll eat when he gets home.”
I did my best to eat so as not to insult Dottie, but I wasn’t really hungry. When 6:30 rolled around and there was still no sign of Will, I began to worry.
“Relax. Sometimes he just runs late.”
I’m sure he did, but did he have to run late on my second to last night in Maine?
Around 7:30 he finally texted me.
Sorry, it’s been a crazy night. Big exotic animal bust. I’ll be home as soon as I can, but don’t wait up.
So I didn’t. When he came home shortly past midnight, there I was, asleep in his bed, waiting for him. He leaned over and kissed me softly on my forehead, and I woke up instantly.
“You’re okay?”
“Of course I am. We got word of an illegal exotic animal dealer in the next county over, and there was a huge bust. Different wardens from all over the area were called in to help, and I just spent the night removing all kinds of snakes, lizards, and spiders from the house. We had to transport them all the way to our facility in Gray.”
“That’s all?”
“That’s all.”
“I’m glad you’re home.” I sat up to hug him, but he moved out of my reach.
“Oh no, you don’t want to touch me until I’ve showered! Lord only knows what’s on me, after moving all those animals. Give me 10 minutes, okay?”
“Okay.”
When he came to bed a short while later, he was clean again and I happily curled up against him as he softly kissed my neck.
“You’re all I could think about today,” he admitted. He trailed his hand lightly up and down my arm, and I tried to burn the sensation into my brain. I never wanted to forget the feeling of his touch, no matter how innocent–or not.
“I won’t ask you to stay again, but just know that the offer still stands. I won’t pester you about it, but just because I don’t mention it doesn’t mean that I don’t want you here with me. If you want to stay longer, be it a few more days or forever, you’re welcome to, okay?”
“You’ve got yours
elf a deal, as long as you know that works both ways.” Forever. That one little word held such weight for me, such promise and fear wrapped into on little word. Forever was a long time, and I wasn’t sure if Will meant what he said.
But then again, I did. Because when I invited him to move to Hartford with me, forever would have suited me just fine. Even though it was a long time. Nothing would please me more than to have Will by my side, forever.
“Deal,” he mumbled. Then the light snoring began.
No fooling around for us, then. Part of me was disappointed, but I understood. It was late, and he had worked a long day. It was enough just to be wrapped up in his arms. There was always the next night.
The next night. Just one more night with him, then it was back to the rest of life, the part that existed without him.
-17-
Thursday was much of the same. I helped Dottie iron and re-hang the clean curtains before lunch, and after lunch I was so bored that I dared to walk down to Ginger’s for a Danish and a cup of coffee.
“Hey.” She greeted me with a smile and I was delighted to see that there were no hard feelings about the incident with Dean and Mikey.
“Hey.” The café was dead quiet as it was too late for lunch and too early for the dinner crowd. I was the sole customer, at least for the moment.
“So, are you okay, after…you know?”
“I’m fine, thanks. I hope it didn’t cause you too much trouble.” My eyes flitted to the spot where Mikey had bled all over the place, but there was no sign of the incident at all.
“No trouble for me at all; don’t you worry about it one bit. I know it wasn’t your fault, or Will’s. Truth be told, I think most of us wanted to cheer Will on. That Mikey’s a waste of space, and Dean’s no better. I’m just sorry they were bothering you. No more manners than common pigs, those two. So what’ll it be today?”
I ordered my Danish and coffee, and turned to see who entered when I heard the bell over the door ring. It was Blue, and as soon as he saw me, he came right over to take a seat next to me.
“Ms. Calista! What brings you out on this fine day?”