by Jade Winters
‘But—’
‘No there aren’t any buts. Don’t you see, he’s warped your mind. You can’t tell the difference between helping your dad or doing the honourable thing and turning your back on something that you know in your heart is wrong.’ The look in Helen’s eyes was sincere. ‘There’s a saying that we become what we hate. You need to be careful that you don’t become your father.’
Helen’s voice was gentle now. ‘You’re going to have to make a choice, Keri. If you’re going to be in my life, I want a woman with her own mind. Not a puppet on her daddy’s strings.’
Filled with emotion Keri couldn’t bring herself to speak. The words Helen spoke pained her because she knew they were the truth.
Helen, she knew, was telling her this because she genuinely cared for her. She had shown her nothing but kindness and understanding from the moment they met, which was more than her father had done her whole life. But was her happiness more important than her father’s freedom? Should she sacrifice her father for her own needs? More importantly, could she bear to see her father publicly humiliated.
‘Helen.’ Her voice broke. ‘I don’t know if I can do this.’
Helen placed her hands on Keri’s shoulders. ‘It’s not about if you can. It’s whether you want to.’
Keri was lost. Helen had brought her to the edge. It was time to either take the plunge or go back to the life she knew. The one that made her despise herself more than anything.
There was only one thing to do.
Chapter Forty-Four
Was it morbid to visit the site where a murder had been committed? Astrid wondered. A murder. Just thinking about it gave her chills. She couldn’t imagine the last thoughts that went through Lexi’s mind as someone she probably knew attacked her. Astrid walked further up the path, stopping when she reached the spot. Stacks of flowers had been placed there and several people stood huddled in groups crying. She noticed a figure on the pathway higher up the fell, staring down at her.
Intrigued, Astrid made her way up the path. Her injured ankle aching as the trail became steeper. After ten minutes the figure came in to view. Darren?
He came at her as she neared, red eyed from tears. ‘How could you have let them publish that story about me and Lexi?’
‘It wasn’t me, Darren, I had nothing to do with it.’
‘Yeah, right. You’re all the same. The police questioned me all night thanks to you!’
Astrid placed a hand on his shoulder in an effort to calm him down. ‘I’m really sorry but honestly it wasn’t my fault.’
He started to sob and covered his face with his hands. ‘I didn’t kill her, I loved her.’
Astrid hugged him, his tears flowing freely. ‘I know, Darren. I know.’
He pulled away and wiped his face.
‘What are you doing up here?’ Astrid asked.
His shoulders dropped. ‘They think this is where it happened.’
Astrid looked down at the people below and shuddered. It was a steep drop.
‘You know they arrested Luke Harbour?’
‘That sick fucker killed Lexi?’ he said kicking the ground with his foot.
Astrid glanced down, unable to look into his aggressive stare. She had whipped up a storm and had been helpless to claim it.
‘Darren.’ She frowned. ‘Hey, move back.’
‘What?’
‘I said move back,’ she said more forcefully.
Darren stepped back.
Astrid knelt down. Using the tips of her fingers she moved the stones away that Darren’s kick had uprooted.
‘Jesus Christ!’ she said grabbing a tissue from her pocket and using it to pick an object up from the ground.
‘What have you found?’ Darren asked bending down, trying to have a look at the object in her hand.
‘I think the police have made a big mistake.’
‘Why does that surprise you? They always get it wrong. They’re the police.’
Astrid only heard part of his sentence as she ran as fast as her aching ankle would let her down the rocky terrain.
She held the object tight in her grip, swerving to avoid the additional mourners coming up to pay their respects.
How am I going to play this one? It could be something or it could be nothing. Would she be able to make him take the bait?
Astrid needed to get back to the B&B. She needed to retrieve some kind of protection. A knife from the kitchen would do. If things became dangerous she would use it. I only hope it doesn’t come down to that.
She called Callie. It went straight to voicemail. It had slipped her mind that Callie would be arriving at the prison around about now. Astrid needed Callie to know her intentions, just in case something went wrong.
‘Callie, I think I know who pushed Lexi. But I need to find out for sure. I don’t want to endanger you so will you please go home and wait for me to call you? I ….’ The phone bleeped then turned off. Damn. She cursed herself for not charging it earlier.
Astrid stuffed her phone in her pocket, she didn’t have time to waste. Jogging as fast as her ankle would allow, she made it back to the B&B in 20 minutes. Pushing the front door open she came face to face with Keri.
‘Just the person I wanted to see,’ Keri said.
‘Not now, Keri.’
Astrid tried to side step her but Keri blocked her way. ‘It’s important.’
‘Yeah and so is what I have to do. So back off.’
‘I know you’re still angry with me for that stunt I pulled.’
‘Angry is an understatement. Just get out of my way.’
‘Please, Astrid, let me explain.’
‘I don’t want to hear anything you’ve got to say.’ Astrid pushed past her and dashed into the kitchen. Grabbing a small kitchen knife from the block, she stuffed it into the inside pocket of her jacket. Keri was nowhere to be seen when she left the kitchen. She darted up the stairs to her room. Plugging her phone into the charger, she waited for it to start charging.
Here goes. She dialled the number. It rang several times before their voicemail picked up. ‘I know what you did. You have one hour to meet me at Loughrigg Fell. If you’re not there I’m going straight to the police station with the evidence I’ve found.’
Putting the phone at her side, she inhaled deeply then let her breath out in a long exhale. She looked at the item in her hand. The tennis brooch she had seen on the hoodie Robert wore in one of the photographs in Roxy’s autobiography. It had blood on it. Lexi’s blood she was sure.
It crossed her mind that she was flirting with danger, meeting Robert alone, but she couldn’t go to the police until she had solid evidence of him admitting it. If they thought Luke had committed the crime they were hardly going to start looking into claims about Robert.
Astrid checked her watch. She had an hour to go. It would take her at least half an hour at walking pace to get back to the fell. She decided to leave now before she lost her nerve.
The walk back wasn’t as frantic. Astrid mulled over the likelihood of getting Robert to confess. Would it be enough to show him the brooch?
Before long, Astrid was back at the base of the fell where Lexi’s body had been found. It was eerily quiet now. The people there earlier had disappeared, with only the bunches of flowers remaining. She didn’t know whether he would show up. If he was innocent, he probably wouldn’t. But if he was guilty he’d be a fool not to. He would want to know what evidence she held against him.
Astrid leant on a large rock. Her hands pressed against it to steady herself. She heard footsteps, followed by heavy breathing.
She took a deep breath and pushed herself off the rock.
Looking ahead, her eyes widened.
‘You?’
Chapter Forty-Five
The prison wasn’t as daunting as Callie had imagined. The things she saw on TV were enough to scare the hell out of anyone. Not this place though. The staff, mostly women, were non-threatening and pleasant. As was the visiting room she was led into. B
right sofas, a TV and a workstation where you could help yourself to tea and biscuits. Callie was too nervous to drink anything. She also didn’t want to be holding a mug that displayed her trembling hands.
Callie hadn’t been waiting long when the key turned in the door and it slowly opened.
Fighting the urge to run to her mother, she sat glued to her seat. The guard stood by the door on the other side of the room, leaving her mother alone, looking lost. A lump rose in Callie’s throat. Her mother didn’t look like a murderer. On the contrary, her appearance was the same as any other normal middle aged woman.
Suppressing the awful image of her mother killing her helpless baby brother, Callie found the strength to rise to her feet and tentatively walk over to her. ‘I don’t know what to call you. Audrey or Mum?’
A look of sadness clouded her mother’s eyes. ‘Mum would be nice, but something tells me you wouldn’t be comfortable with that,’ Audrey said softly.
‘No, I’m sorry,’ Callie whispered.
‘I understand.’ Audrey reached out for her hand and Callie instinctively snatched it back. Seeing the sorrow in her eyes, Callie said quickly, ‘I’m sorry, it’s just—’
‘Too soon. I know. Please, don’t apologise.’ Audrey bowed her head. ‘I’m the one who’s sorry and believe me, Callie, I am.’
They both sat down at a table.
Without thinking Callie said, ‘Did you hurt my brother?’
This was it the moment of truth. The reason why she had been motherless for thirteen years.
A single tear rolled down Audrey’s cheek. Her sorrow touched Callie’s heart.
‘Yes. I did. And there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t regret it. Or relive it. What I did will haunt me till the day I die.’
‘But why? I don’t understand. Why would you ….’ She still couldn’t bring herself to use the word murder. ‘Harm him.’
‘I don’t know—’
‘You don’t know,’ Callie’s voice rose in anger. ‘You killed a child. An innocent baby.’ There she’d said it. Now there was no holding her back. ‘You killed my brother and left me without a mother. And you don’t know why? I shouldn’t have come here. I should have left you well alone to rot in here.’
‘Are you going to hear me out before you judge me? I thought you would have grown up to be more compassionate.’
‘For a baby killer.’
‘Yes, Callie I killed my son. But I was ill. Crazy. I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know I was suffering from post-natal depression. I just thought I wasn’t coping. I felt like a failure, that I was a bad mother for not bonding with him. I thought I had the baby blues, but it was so much more serious. I smothered him while he slept. I thought he was better off without me. When I told your father he was beside himself. He tried to understand but in the end it was too much for him to bear and he told the police.’
‘Dad’s the reason you’re in here?’
Audrey shook her head resolutely. ‘No. I’m the reason I’m in here. Me and me alone. I did an unforgivable thing.’
Callie’s anger simmered. Post-natal depression. She had read of cases where mothers had killed their children. It was a terrible illness. Her heart softened. ‘But you were sick. Why didn’t he help you?’
‘He was too busy trying to make a living to notice, I suppose.’
‘But he lied to me. All these years. He told me you ran off. That you didn’t love me.’
‘Oh, Callie, I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you. I tried to find you, but your Dad made sure you both vanished. He left without telling me or any of my family where he was going.’
‘But I looked for you myself and found nothing.’
‘We were never married. I still have my maiden name. I don’t suppose he gave you much information about me. It must have been difficult.’
‘All of this time. He should have told me.’
‘Don’t blame your dad, Callie. He lost a son. If the shoe had been on the other foot, I would probably have done the same thing.’
‘I should have been given a choice.’
‘And what would you have chosen?’
‘To see you.’
‘Exactly. And that’s the last thing your father wanted. Can you really blame him? He thought I was a danger to children.’
‘A danger?’
She nodded. ‘I was a monster as far as he was concerned.’
Callie observed the dark hollows beneath Audrey’s eyes. The guilt and sorrow etched in every line on her face. ‘I don’t know what to say … what to feel.’
‘There’s more to this, but it’s not something I can talk about. Not yet. Maybe one day. But not now. I want to answer all of your questions, but I think this is more than enough to burden you with. Maybe another time?’ she asked looking hopeful.
Callie nodded. Whether it was because she now knew the back story or she was desperate to have some kind of relationship with her mother, Callie made a decision. There was no way she would turn her back on her. Not now that she knew what had happened was a result of an illness.
‘I’d like that.’
Audrey’s face broke into a sad smile. ‘I’m glad. Changing the subject for a moment can I ask how you found me?’
‘I didn’t. A reporter did. I thought you were dead.’
Audrey closed her eyes briefly. ‘Oh so I have that pushy journalist to thank for our reunion.’
‘Journalist?’
‘Yes, I heard she was asking questions about me.’
Callie suddenly had a thought. Keri must be holding something over Astrid’s head and using me as leverage. That bitch.
‘I’m really sorry, but I’ve got to go. I promise I’ll come back next week. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.’
‘If you’re sure,’ Audrey said.
‘I am. But I’ve really got to go now. I have something important to do.’
She leant forward and pressed her lips on her mother’s forehead. ‘I’ll see you soon.’
Callie hurried towards the door. She had to find Astrid. She switched on her phone as soon as she left the building. Within seconds it bleeped, alerting her to a message. She pressed the phone to her ear. Her heart pounded against her chest as she heard Astrid’s voice.
‘Oh, shit. No, she can’t,’ she shouted aloud.
Callie ran to her Jeep fumbling in her bag for the keys. She jumped in and shot off in the direction of home. Who the hell was it? It couldn’t be Luke because he was in police custody, that left only Robert or Darren.
She thought hard. Where would Astrid go if she wanted to confront someone? The crime scene. Would Astrid really be stupid enough to put herself in harm’s way? If she did have the right person, they’d have no qualms in hurting her as well. Callie pressed her foot fully down on the accelerator, the speedometer quickly climbing to 90mph. She couldn’t lose Astrid. Not now when everything was finally coming together in her life for the first time. She had found someone to love and her mother was back in her life.
Nothing was going to come between her and the life she wanted. Not even a murderer.
Chapter Forty-Six
A blustering wind blew Astrid’s hair across her face. She pushed it aside, never taking her eyes off the person in front. This was not what she had expected.
Astrid’s shoulders slumped. ‘Isn’t Robert man enough to clean up his own mess?’
‘I don’t appreciate your tone or accusations,’ Roxy said.
‘Really? Well let’s see how he feels about the police then.’
‘What’s your game, Astrid? Isn’t this scraping the barrel a bit?’
‘I could ask you the same. Defending someone that would harm his own child because she was pregnant. Jesus!’
‘I’d be very careful what you’re saying. Haven’t you heard of slander?’
‘I’m telling the truth.’
‘The truth. Ha, don’t make me laugh. I know all about your version of the truth. I did a little diggi
ng of my own. Seems you have a problem with fabricating stories, don’t you?’
‘I didn’t—’
‘What? You didn’t fabricate a whole story about human trafficking? How did it feel to have to give your award back once they found out what a liar you were?’
‘My story was true. Every word of it.’
‘Of course it was. Like my husband stabbed his daughter. Do you think anyone’s actually going to believe you?’
‘So how do you explain this?’
Astrid held out an open palm with the brooch on it.
Roxy’s eyes squinted. ‘What’s that?’
‘Doesn’t it look familiar? I saw it on Robert’s hoodie in a photograph in your book. Tell me something, Roxy. How did it end up at the place the police believed she was murdered?’
‘How do you know Lexi wasn’t wearing it?’
Suddenly taken aback by the possibility, Astrid was lost for words. ‘I … I.’
Roxy smirked. ‘Not so much of a journalist after all are you? And now you’ve removed evidence from a crime scene, possibly even contaminated it.’
It can’t be true. Why would Lexi be wearing it? ‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘Show me where you found it. I’ll need to contact the police and let them know.’
Astrid felt defeated. Roxy was right, she had put the whole investigation in jeopardy. And for what? Just so she could be the one to find the murderer. ‘Okay, follow me.’
Roxy followed Astrid up the path to the point Astrid had met Darren earlier. Regret swirled in Astrid’s mind as they made their ascent. How could I be so stupid?
As they neared the spot, Astrid bent down. ‘It was just here amongst these stones.’
Roxy inspected the site, a look of disinterest in her eyes. A sudden realisation hit Astrid.
‘You’ve heard about the DNA I assume?’
Roxy looked at her questioningly.
‘It’s breaking news.’ She held her phone out in front of her, pretending to read. ‘DNA was found under Lexi’s fingernails. It’s only a matter of time before they connect it to Robert.’
‘Ha, you’re lying,’ Roxy said triumphantly. ‘Lexi didn’t touch me …’