“Maybe, I wasn’t easy to live with, I know, and I was a dick sometimes. I don’t feel that way about you, not for a long time.”
Years ago, Arthur loved her, and she toyed with him, until the summer after the second year of uni. It was a great summer, and she had laughed so much then. He tried to understand when that had changed. When she had become calculating and cold.
They moved in together when they graduated, and became engaged quickly, he didn’t want to waste time, but the business was slow at first, he refused money from his mum, and Victoria had kept them afloat. She had landed a good job as soon as she moved back home. Of course she did; she was perfect.
It was then that she changed. It only took a few years for her to climb the ranks, and he’d been really proud of her. Then a few years of frustration on her part, waiting for Arthur to catch up and she was shagging her shit-fuck of a boss, broke up with Arthur and married him. Six months into their marriage, he did the dirty on her. Arthur remembered feeling a modicum of satisfaction at that, but he didn’t blame her bitterness. He shook his head at the memory, and he was very sure he didn’t love her anymore.
Victoria hardened her face. “Is it the girl?”
“What does it matter?” It was hard keeping his frustration in check.
“You think she’s any different than I am?”
“She is, but we’re not together. She’s too honourable to shag her boss. Not like some people.”
“Wow.”
“Sorry, that was beneath me.”
“It was. I’m not a bad person, I’ve never stopped caring about you, and I do think I'm the kind of woman you need.”
“Not the one I want, and I’m not doing things like that. I will not do what I’m supposed to do to make other people happy. And no, you’re not a bad person, but not the one for me. Accept it and move on.”
Arthur went back to his empty house and sat in the quiet dark. Rebecca was right there; if he texted her, she’d reply. Her care, her kindness, and adorable flirting made him laugh to himself, but it was a dangerous way to go; he was falling for her. He knew it.
Falling for something he couldn’t have for the very reasons he was falling for her. She was moral and good.
He tossed his phone aside.
Rebecca cleaned on Saturday. She woke early after dreaming of Arthur. It was getting out of control. She washed the windows, the woodwork, and all the sheets. It was stifling that day, she wore a bikini top, and her short sporty shorts with her hair piled up on her head.
Grimy and sweaty, Rebecca was grumpy when Arthur arrived. She groaned quietly as she ate her sandwich standing in the kitchen looking out the window at the bright, clean sheets drying in the sun.
“Hi.” He was breathless when he spoke. He had lovely eyes, and they sparkled as the sun hit them. Christ, she needed to get a grip on herself. She suppressed a sigh. Pointing to her mouth as she chewed, she went back in the garden, emptied a bucket of soapy water and folded the sheets up. Arthur helped her, and they folded the clean laundry, scented with summer sun in silence.
“Are you all right?” he asked when she set the basket in the kitchen and went back out to tidy up.
“Uh-huh.”
“Rebecca.”
He said her name in such a way that she shivered despite the heat. She picked up the hose and turned it on to water the pots, the flowers in which were wilting.
“It’s too warm today to be out here working.”
“Needs doing.”
“What’s wrong?”
She finally turned to him. He stared at her chest, and he swallowed, tearing his eyes away.
She cocked her head. “Subtle.”
He laughed. “Sorry. You look…” His eyes fell downward.
“Look what?” She feigned innocence.
He bunched his lips. “You’re actually pretty good at flirting.”
“Flirting?” She gave him an adorably innocent look, but there was a hint of wickedness in her eyes. “I think you need to cool off Mr Hulston.”
He frowned and looked down at the hose trigger in her hand. “Don’t you even think about it.”
“Think about what?” She grinned and pulled the trigger, hitting his chest with a short blast of water.
He drew a sharp breath, looking murderous but with a hint of a smile.
She laughed, slowly backing away from him. “Now, now, you deserved it.”
“Deserved it? Right.”
He lunged for her and she squealed then dodged. He chased her around the lawn as she screamed, hosepipe flying about in her wake. He caught her waist and spun her around, and she reached her arm out trying to keep hold of the hose. He took it when he tickled her side. She bounced up and down in his grip. It felt so good being there.
He let off the trigger catching her with cold water as he let her go.
She fought against him, laughing as she did, managing to turn the trigger in his hands, spraying him as well. They were both soaked. Water dripped off their faces, their clothes were plastered to them, and they were watching each other, panting hard. She was still laughing, but he looked serious.
The tension between them was electric, and she needed to touch him. It was as though they were pulled to each other.
“We shouldn’t.” Her voice was a whisper.
“I know.”
Her gaze fell over him, and the outline of his body under the wet t-shirt. He grinned at her and set off the water again, and she caught her breath as he did. “Then don’t look at me like that.”
“I can’t help it.”
He shook his head and kissed her cheek as he passed her, winding up the hose as he went.
They went in after shaking off the worst of the water.
“I’ll get some towels.”
“What on Earth have you been up to?” Alice looked between them as she headed into the kitchen.
“Water fight.” Arthur gave his mother a grin and stepped to her.
Alice put her hands up and stepped back, laughing. “Good grief Arthur, how old are you?”
When Rebecca returned with two fluffy towels, she stopped short as Arthur took off his t-shirt. There was a light amount of hair across his chest that headed south. He was defined and muscular, but not overly so. Utterly gorgeous. She wiped her face and held out the other towel, and he rubbed his hair, oh God, she couldn’t look at him.
She vanished upstairs. He knew what he was doing, the bugger.
More appropriately attired, she started dinner. She was scraping the new potatoes at the sink when Arthur came back in, wearing a different t-shirt and shorts.
“You appear so different when you don’t wear a suit.”
“Do I? Good or bad?”
“More relaxed, so I suppose that’s good.” Less formidable too.
She was calmer, though nervous of him, but in a good way. Softening to the idea of them together, she still didn’t want an affair with her boss. A seedy notion. He left her as she cooked.
When he said goodnight, his eyes lingered on her, the gaze they shared made her understand it was inevitable.
The heatwave gave in the night, and a heavy summer storm moved in. Rebecca woke to grey light and made Alice a cup of tea as usual, and rain pattered hard on the windows. Taking the tea up, she yawned loudly. Arthur was robbing her of her sleep.
“Are you all right, Alice?” She asked when Alice struggled to get up.
“Yes dear, my back hurts. Ever since my little fall, it twinges.” She sipped her tea once propped up, and Rebecca set Alice’s pills out.
The cooler air was a relief, and the scent of rain wafted through Alice’s room.
“Well, summer was nice.” Alice’s eyes crinkled with a smile. “You’re quiet this morning.”
Rebecca rubbed her face. “I’m tired, didn’t sleep.”
“Not from the heat, though.”
“I don’t like it when you’re astute.”
“Something is going on then.”
“Yes and no. Nothing can happen.”
“Why on Earth not?”
“Because he’s my boss. And don’t say you’ll adopt me.”
“I would though.”
“I know.” Rebecca reached for Alice’s hand. “You’re really important to me, Alice.”
“As are you, my dear. May I give you some advice?”
“I think you will anyway.”
“Love, real love isn’t that common. When you love the person above yourself, above anything else, that is real love. Often, we project what we expect onto others and cling to it. When that proves false, we lament the person, not our expectations. You and Arthur – I see it. It’s clear, don’t throw it away or waste an opportunity that people spend their whole lives looking for.”
Rebecca stared and nodded. “I think it’s a little early for this.” Clearing her throat, she stood up and kissed Alice’s cheek before going for a shower.
Rebecca was in the supermarket when her phone rang a few days later. Fear crept through her limbs when she saw D.I. Edwards’ name.
“Hello.”
“How are you?”
“I’m well, thank you.”
“Good. I have good and bad news.”
“Oh?”
“Danny is in custody again on unrelated charges.”
The relief made Rebecca slump over the trolley. “And the bad?”
“Mark is out of prison on license, so he can’t leave the area, but he is back living with your stepmother.”
“I see, thank you.”
“I thought you’d want to be aware of it.”
“Yes, I appreciate your time.”
Rebecca finished shopping, making her way home in a daze. Mark, his smell, the things he’d tried to get her to do, shuddered in her. Had Rebecca stayed, she had no doubt what her fate would have been. Mark held much of the responsibility of how she was. The conflict in her about desire and reality of sex was present in her mind. Arthur made her want. She’d never wanted. Loneliness was the norm, and she was okay with it, but she wanted more.
Rebecca made her way home not paying attention. Reliving the past, she came to the conclusion when she got home that she needed to do something about her present.
Move on. Arthur would help her if she asked. Wouldn’t he?
Arthur watched Rebecca. All through the evening she’d stared off into the distance, chewed the inside of her lip, and fidgeted. She wasn’t normally fidgety.
When she was washing up, and Alice was in the living room, he went back in the kitchen. “What’s the matter?”
“Mark is out of prison.”
Arthur didn’t say anything but waited for her.
“They’ll keep an eye on him. Danny’s back in prison at least.”
Still, Arthur didn’t speak.
“I’ve been thinking a lot. About me. My past. Who I am now.” She turned the dishwasher on and chewed her lip again. Standing straight, she faced him.
“Okay.”
She stared at him, almost in challenge. “I want to have sex with you.”
Arthur didn’t move and held his breath.
“Breathe.”
He did. “Rebecca, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“I knew you’d say that, but I’m stuck. I want to move on, and it shouldn’t be this big of a deal. It’s only sex, and it’s something I’ve built up in my mind. I want to get it out the way. I’m not asking for anything more.”
Arthur scrambled to form an answer. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to, you know that I care for you, but I’m not going to sleep with you for that reason. I want it to be because we both want it. I’ve never been one for casual sex.” He stepped closer. “If we were in a relationship, and a physical affection developed, then yes, of course. But I’m not prepared to do what you ask.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Besides, what happened to not sleeping with the boss?”
“I know, that bothers me, but I need to do this. I don’t know anyone else. Anyway. Forget about it.”
Rebecca started wiping the sides down, and Arthur left her to it. He needed to get away and think. Arthur left shortly after and nearly turned back. She looked determined about it.
A horrible thought occurred to him. She’d go and do it alone.
Nine
DEAD END
Rebecca got over her humiliation, sort of. She’d felt like a prat all evening, mortified she’d asked. But she had. It was a step forward.
That he said no irked her, but she understood his reasons.
She didn’t have to like them.
Rebecca picked ‘Persuasion’ to read next. The steady click-clack of Alice’s knitting needles, albeit slower than they once were, made Rebecca relax as she began to read.
They spent the afternoon together and made fair progress through their book. After a while, Rebecca let her mind wander.
“Are you all right, dear?” Alice didn’t pause in her knitting.
“Hmm? Fine. I might go out on Friday.”
“With Arthur?” Her needles hesitated, and the hope in her voice was crushing.
“No, no Arthur… I don’t know. I wanted to go out.”
Rebecca went back to reading, but Alice watched her.
She fretted about the idea growing in her mind, and when Friday came around, Rebecca was jittery but determined. Arthur didn’t want her, fine. Surely someone would. Well, she wouldn’t go that far, but flirt a little. She could do that, and not be the loser leaning against the wall too afraid to speak to anyone.
Arthur arrived, and she wasn’t sure what to say to him. Feeling awkward, she kept quiet. When Alice joined her in the kitchen with Arthur, Alice brought it up.
“Rebecca’s going out tonight.”
“What?”
“Yes, I need a night out, and live a little.” She cleared the little catch in her throat.
Rebecca served, and Arthur’s eye twitched. “On your own?”
“Yes.”
“Where?”
“I thought up Town Hill. I only went there a few times after film club. Looks fun.”
Arthur put his cutlery down. “Why?”
“Because I want to let my hair down.”
“I’d happily take you out.”
She met his eye then, and he looked pissed off. “I thought we had this conversation.” She smiled, but it was more of a grimace, and she ate her dinner. The silence was more than awkward. Arthur paled.
As soon as she put her knife and fork down, she started clearing the kitchen, eager to get away from him, and desperately wished he’d change his mind.
She took her time getting ready, hoping that he was gone by the time she went down. Deciding on the red dress, Rebecca didn’t care it was a bit too short and tight, and it was the only sexy thing she owned.
Arthur and Alice were still in the kitchen.
His jaw dropped when he saw her, and eyes followed her figure downward and stopped at the high heels. She’d picked up a light glow of a tan, put her hair up, and wore red lipstick.
“I’ll drop you into town on my way if you like.” He virtually growled the words at her, and her stomach went funny. He’d lost his tie, and his shirt sleeves were cuffed. “Ready?” He barely made the sound, to which she only nodded. She’d lost the power of speech.
Alice gave Rebecca a pointed expression when he stood and turned. Rebecca poked her tongue out.
“Have a nice time, dear.”
Arthur was in his little flash car. He started it but didn’t move. “What are you doing?” He didn’t look at her when he asked.
“Getting over myself, like I said. I need to do this.”
He shook his head, and drove slowly, almost unwillingly. He pulled up to a loading space. When people went out, they went up to Town Hill; it ran the length of the top of a hill where the market used to be, and the
old part of the city gradually sloped down, blending into the new on the plane at the bottom.
Going up Town Hill was the thing to do. At the far end was a large building, an old cinema that became an event venue, a few strip clubs, even one for women. It was full of Hen and Stag dos, birthdays, and large crowds. It was only nine, and most places hadn’t got started yet, but it was already busy.
“Listen. I don’t understand this, but whatever you need, I can help you, I want to be there for you. If anything happens, if you’re afraid, lost, stuck, lonely, unhappy, or want my company, call me. Promise.”
She smiled. “I promise.” His eyes said he didn’t want her to go, at least not without him. She climbed out.
“Rebecca!”
She turned and leant through the window as he lowered it. He leant forward, close to her. “I wish this could be different. I feel like we’ve met at the wrong time.”
“Maybe.”
He gave her a little smirk, but it was sad.
With that, she left him, knowing he watched her as she disappeared into the crowd. He texted her a few minutes later.
I’ll be in the Tavernhouse if you need me.
She smiled at the message.
The first club would do. She didn’t queue, it wasn’t late enough.
The beat was good, the drinks too pricey, but doubles were the price of a single before eleven. She downed two vodkas and looked at the dancefloor.
She remembered dancing with Arthur, and how safe and exciting it was up close with him. The thought of anyone else dancing with her like that made her itch.
Throwing herself into the melee, not caring she was alone, she danced and moved. Someone sidled up, and a few minutes later, they sidled away. She had another drink.
As she did a circuit, she looked at everyone; how they interacted and interplayed. She’d never been like that. None of them appealed to her, and none of them were Arthur.
She sighed and had one more drink before dancing again, two men joined her, flirting a little, but mostly dancing. She smiled and blushed, and made herself less of a wallflower. One wasn’t tall, but toned and lithe, with dark skin and short dreads. His friend, who appeared to be holding back a little, was taller, handsome with short hair, and he had the most beautiful mouth. She considered the shorter man, he had a cute face and eyes.
Getting a Life (New City Series Book 4) Page 9