“I’m nothing?” He scowled at her, and her stomach turned.
“That’s not what I meant. I don’t know what to do for the best. I’m not good with angry people, I don’t know what to do without your mum in the house. I love you.” She sobbed. “But I know I don’t want to start out being unemployed, homeless, and feeling like this.”
“What are you saying?”
“I don’t know. If I stay with you, something will happen between us, but I don’t want it to be when you’re so unhappy and both of us feeling so wretched.” She wiped her eyes, fighting her impulse to go to him.
“You’re making excuses. You always make excuses.” He shut down as if he couldn’t hear her words.
“So do you. Both of us seem unwilling to start this relationship. So maybe we shouldn’t, not yet. It’s been a week. Arthur, a week. Let me help you finish packing up the house, I’ll find somewhere to live and get settled, give ourselves a month, and see how we feel. I’m too emotional, too… raw.” Her voice faltered.
He nodded, turning to her.
“I know it’s a bit melodramatic, but it’s how I feel.”
“I understand, I think you might be right. I’m all over the place. Don’t go, though, stay here, please.”
“I can’t, Arthur. It’s too tempting, the need for comfort, for anything to fill the loss between us.”
He nodded, disappointment thick between them.
“I’ll drive you back.”
They drove in silence and sat on the drive for a few minutes as the car idled, she nearly said sod it let’s dive in. But she didn’t. She’d be a distraction from his pain. She knew him better than he knew himself; he wasn’t ready.
She walked away, she was always doing that. He smacked the steering wheel when she’d gone. He nearly followed to fight her on this, to convince her, but he couldn’t; he hated going in the house. His mum wasn’t home. When was the last time he said thank you, or I love you? It was only because of Rebecca that he’d had this time with her. The image of her empty face flashed in front of his eyes again, and he felt sick.
He needed to get away from himself, needing to escape; he’d not been ready before, and he certainly wasn’t ready now. Rebecca was right, but he needed her so much.
All Arthur’s money, his success and reputation had given him comfort, but he didn’t care for it anymore. He’d give it up for Rebecca. Wasn’t that what he was doing? Changing the game for her. He should have told her, but he knew what she’d say and take responsibility for his choices, but it had nothing to do with her, not really.
Arthur was tired. So tired. He’d had enough.
He wanted to hold fast to her, but her grief wouldn’t let her hold on to him, not yet.
Not yet was the story of their whole relationship.
Fourteen
NARROW TURNS
Rebecca woke four days later in an empty, quiet house. She hated it so much. Arthur had been busy. Dread sat in her stomach.
The house was half-packed up, along with her own things. When she opened the front door to go view a flat in Downly, on the other side of the city, she saw it.
A for sale sign.
Arthur hadn’t told her, and it cut deep. She felt their tentative – whatever they were – slipping away. She couldn’t separate that feeling from her grief. She missed Alice so much, and the ache she left, along with the gap in her heart, meant she didn’t quite know what to do with herself.
A sick feeling crawled up her throat as she took the bus into town and over to Downly and found the flat.
Sharing with a woman a little younger than her, it was modern and open-plan, nice, within budget, and Rebecca liked the idea of sharing.
It was so different from Alice’s, modern and new with thick dark shag carpets, and white couches and furniture. The open L-shaped kitchen was white and glossy, and the tiled floor as dark as the carpet. The hall opposite the front door led straight down, and the two bedrooms and bathroom were off it.
The room was hers if she wanted it. The woman who lived there, Stella, was a little vain, but not unpleasant. With that out of the way, she went to the temp agency. They found her maternity cover at a doctors’ surgery. It would do.
Things were in motion.
Rebecca rang Arthur on the way home to no answer. She texted him instead. Call me when you’re free, we should talk. He didn’t.
That night as she read by the window her mind kept wandering, and she worried.
Arthur, are you okay? She even finished it with a kiss. Nothing.
Biting the inside of her cheek, she put the book down and did some more packing.
In the morning, still in her pyjamas, with the air cooler, she heard the front door open.
She scampered down the stairs with a tentative smile expecting Arthur and saw a nice-looking couple with a man in a suit. His pointy loafers suggested he was an estate agent.
“What the hell?” The three people looked stunned, and loafer man gawped at her. “Who are you?” Rebecca asked.
“I’m showing these people the house. The owner gave me the keys yesterday.”
“Oh. I didn’t know. No one told me. Excuse me while I get dressed.” Rebecca turned and went upstairs. Hastily pulling on the nearest things, she called Arthur with the phone cradled in her shoulder.
The phone rang and went to voicemail. The fucker. Why was he doing this? She made the bed and tidied up as the couple reached the landing. She crept back down in an awkward exchange of nods and put the kettle on.
She messaged him. Emergency.
She rang again, and then again. He finally answered by which point Rebecca reached a state of fury she’d rarely experienced.
“Hello?” He sounded tired, and she deflated, leaving her too weary to be angry.
“Thank you for telling me people were coming to view at the house.”
“I did.”
“No, actually, you didn’t. Hence my surprise. Arthur, why didn’t you reply yesterday, I’m worried.”
“I’ve been really busy with work, we should speak though. Things are hectic at the minute.” There was a finality to his voice that made her feel sick.
“What’s going on?”
“I need to get going. Oh, the house clearers will be in on Monday morning.”
“What?”
“Don’t worry, it’ll be fine.”
He ended the call. She held back her tears, and the sound of people came down the stairs.
The ache in her chest grew. She was losing him, like everything else, and taking some deep breaths, she pulled herself together.
The clearers stripped the house bare on Monday. Rebecca labelled her cases, so they weren’t taken, and went to town to fill out some paperwork before she started temping. Arthur was there with Maddie when she returned.
He looked exhausted and drawn. Maddie, almost protective of him, spoke quietly in his ear. The woman set Rebecca’s teeth on edge; she oozed status, and Rebecca had the feeling she couldn’t begin to fathom her wealth.
She gave Rebecca a tight smile and left them as she hovered checking all the rooms.
When she looked at him staring out of the kitchen window, she wondered if it wasn’t meant to be; he was rich, successful, and better than her in every way. She had come from trash, and she’d always be knocking on the ceiling, never breaking through.
Arthur handed her a packet with her P45 and employment termination.
“What’s going on, Arthur? Please, I’m afraid. You were so cold on the phone.”
“I think you’re right, I am angry, and grieved, and everything you said.”
“I know. That’s normal, but you don’t need to shut me out. I want to be there for you. I’ve found a flat and a job. They’re not great, but it’s a start. We have time.”
“Do we? I’m glad you have somewhere to go.”
“Okay.” She didn’t know what else to say, and the silence was awkward. �
�Right then. Any news on the house?”
“Houses here go pretty quick. The couple made an offer, and I accepted.”
“That was fast.”
He opened his mouth to say something but turned back to the window.
The door opened, and Maddie came back in. “Right, Arthur, are you ready?”
“I thought we were going to talk?” Rebecca asked Arthur, pretending Maddie wasn’t there.
Arthur kept his focus out the window. “I still have to go to the solicitors, and a few other things today. I’ll be back later.”
Rebecca stood in the kitchen after he left and had a horrible feeling that she’d done something wrong.
Arthur went to the solicitors after parting ways with Maddie. He was sick of her. Her bullshit and wheedling for things she had no right to grated on his nerves. Endless questions about Rebecca and Maddie appeared wherever he was to ask them. Keeping Rebecca at arm's length and sparing her feelings was as much as he was able to do, but he couldn’t reach back out to her; it was too hard.
That morning had been difficult. Telling everyone in the office what he’d done, and their faces when he did. He and his partner had built the company from nothing, and many of the people there had been with them from the start, but selling the business was the right thing to do.
After the tedium of the solicitor, he changed, needing to burn off his annoyance.
As he ran, he thought of his mum, of the months with Rebecca there, how he’d become close to her, and felt as if he had been a decent son. He was proud of that. He’d always known he’d be young when his parents died. The only person he had left was Rebecca.
He could talk to her, she’d been there for him through every step of it, and when she spoke sense, he pushed her away completely. His mind gradually cleared, the cluttered thoughts that dogged him were thrown out now he was stepping away from business. He needed to reprioritise his life, what was important, what he actually wanted, and in relief, he ran a little harder. Hope. His mum loved Rebecca, and she’d known all along that they were right for each other. His throat closed remembering the way she’d knowingly smile at him.
He neared home with the warm day still bright, and body burnt with the run. He pushed harder than he ever did. Reaching his house with his legs spattered with mud, and he didn’t feel his hands.
As he walked up the drive, panting, he saw Maddie’s car and stopped dead. The security light blinked on, and he marched to his door.
He opened it and heard music and laughter. Laughter. Fury quickened.
“Oh my God, Arthur look at the state of you,” Maddie said, turning from Vicky, who went stony-faced.
“How the fuck did you get into my house?”
“I borrowed a key the other day.”
“Give it back.” Sweat dripped off him, Maddie and Victoria glanced at each other while he scowled at them. She gave him the key.
“Right, what the fuck are you doing here, drinking my bloody wine?”
“Arthur, calm down. Vicky was telling me the other day about how you weren’t really coping, I thought it would be nice to surprise you.”
He sneered. “Get. Out.”
“No.” She looked shocked anyone would go against her.
“Let me be very clear with you Madeline. I despise you. You are a malicious, greedy snake. Tell me what you actually fucking want before I physically remove you from my house that you broke into.”
She swallowed, all amusement gone. “Fine. Your mother’s diamonds weren’t in with the jewellery. They’re mine.”
“No, they’re not. They are in my safe, they weren’t left to you.”
“Yes, they were.”
“Mother changed her will last year. They’re Rebecca’s.”
There was a flash of something vicious in her eyes. “Do you know what they’re worth? That manipulative bitch… you can’t see it can you?”
Arthur stepped close to her with his voice an angry sneer; it was amazing how that velvety sound became so harsh. “Not everyone is like you. She doesn’t even know about it. Get out of my house, or I will cause a scene.” He took her wine glass and threw it against the wall, wine and glass went everywhere. At least it was white wine. Maddie stepped back, shocked.
Her arrogance was borderline magnificent, and he loathed her. Arthur wouldn’t be manipulated anymore, and the petty nature of her seethed beneath her brittle charm.
“Fine Arthur, no need for violence.” She and Victoria left, the latter looking back briefly, tears in her eyes.
Arthur picked up the shards with shaking hands. His peace vanished. He cut his finger and held it under the tap in the kitchen. It came all at once, not shock or the surprising pain that comes with death, but real grief. The realisation of loss. It crashed into him, and he wanted to hold Rebecca, to turn to her. He understood what she meant about being the wrong time, not pragmatically, but really felt it.
He sat on the floor and sobbed.
Rebecca had nearly finished packing, and she ate what remained of her cereal out of the box, with a glass of milk for dinner. She didn’t care anymore. Arthur didn’t come back like he said.
The doorbell rang, and she went about a foot in the air. It was past ten. It had to be Arthur. No one else would come here that late and a fragile little hope sparked.
She didn’t even think about how she looked in her pink pyjamas. She opened the door with a smile, which died as she froze.
A tall, intimidating police officer was in the doorway. Her heart lurched. She thought that Mark was coming for her.
“Rebecca Silverton?”
“Yes.” Her voice was small.
“May I come in?”
She nodded and stepped back, and years of anxiety came back to her as she fussed the cuff of her sleeve. She didn’t even see Maddie come in behind him.
“What’s going on?”
“There’s been an accusation against you, the matter of a pair of diamond earrings.”
Rebecca blinked. “What?”
Maddie stepped forward. “Alice had a pair of earrings, large teardrop diamonds, they are extremely valuable, and they’re mine.”
It wasn’t just her staunch posture and tone, it was the accusation. A lie wrapped in a version of truth. Maddie criminalised her because of who she was, not if she’d done anything wrong. Keeping her voice steady she replied. “Arthur gave you the jewellery.”
“They weren’t in the box. Where are they?” Maddie kept her cool, her strength of will filling the room, and Rebecca instinctively backed away.
“I don’t know, I’ve never seen them, and they’ve never been mentioned. I’m sorry if they’ve been lost…”
“Lost? A skank like you in this house and we’re meant to think they’re lost, you have them, don’t lie.”
Rebecca couldn’t breathe. “I'm not, I swear, I haven’t seen them.”
“Miss, I think it might be prudent to search the house for them. Can you show me your things? I understand you’re leaving the property soon.”
“Don’t you need a warrant or something?”
“Miss, we could do that, or we could quietly look for them, and keep this quiet if you understand.”
“Why isn’t Arthur here?”
Maddie spoke up. “When I told him about the earrings, he was shocked to think that you had taken them, but none of us can think of another explanation. They were there when he checked the box before the funeral, and you cleared all of Alice’s personal things. You gave the box to Arthur. You had access to them. Here, call him if you like. He’s furious. So disappointed, and I’ve never seen him that hurt.” She unlocked and held out her phone, the contact for Arthur lit up on the screen.
Rebecca looked at it. How could he think that of her, after everything? Maddie got to him, and he believed her. He’d made his choice; she’d rejected him, and he resented her. She didn’t want to speak to him, didn’t want to convince him; she shouldn’t have to. Th
e way he’d been with her, and he’d not come over like he said, told her what she needed to know.
Glancing at the tall police officer, she stepped back and led the way upstairs. She stood in the doorway and watched the policeman rifle through her cases with Maddie looking on. He searched through drawers, under the bed, and left it in a mess. He searched her bathroom, and he even checked the cistern. She followed him about the house while he looked.
“Well, they don’t seem to be here.” The officer conceded.
“Maybe she already sold them.”
“I didn’t, you found no cash, and you can check my bank account if you want, I don’t have a pile of money.”
“I don’t think she has them.” He gave Maddie a strange look.
She huffed back at the fearsome man. “Fine, but I’d keep an eye on her if I were you. Arthur’s going to be furious with them not being here.” Maddie stepped into Rebecca’s personal space. “I know you took them, and he knows it too, there has been no one else to take them. It has to be you. Don’t think you’ve got away with it, but understand, you’re not welcome anymore. You’ve taken enough from him, don’t you think?”
They left, and Rebecca stood there shaking. She went back upstairs and repacked her things. She had to speak to him. Even if she told him to go fuck himself, she had to say something.
She looked for her phone but didn’t find it anywhere, realising she must have packed it somewhere. She got dressed, still in shock.
Sitting on the floor, she found a notebook, tore a page out, and wrote Arthur a letter. She told him how much Alice had meant to her, how much she loved him, and she had wanted to give him everything. Her shock passed over for anger and hurt at his cruel betrayal.
But if it was a mistake, and he didn’t think she was a thief, if she had been tricked, he had to come find her, and she gave him her address.
Rebecca swallowed her nausea and the ever-present sensation of being subhuman crap as she waited for the taxi. How had things gone so wrong so quickly? If she said yes to him before, she’d be with him, and this wouldn’t have happened.
A large minibus of a taxi arrived, and the driver helped load her up.
Getting a Life (New City Series Book 4) Page 15