All the months of fear and worry lifted, and he was left with what exactly? Need. Intense, burning need for the woman he still loved. The way she looked at him, her quiet insecurity, aching sweetness, and reserved strength was beautiful, and everything he knew he wanted. Her pain was like his, but quiet, internalised.
He’d take it away.
A voice brought him from his thoughts, and Stella virtually purred on him. “So, Rebecca’s never mentioned you. I mean she never talks about herself much. Seems like something went on between you, the way you greeted her.”
Stella’s voice brought him back to the present, and he took a deep breath. He hated the feeling of her calculating him with her eyes, it was how Vicky used to look at him.
He ground his teeth. “You know that cock Pete told you to go and suck?”
She smiled and leant close to him. “Yes?”
“Not going to be mine, sweetheart, back off.”
Her mouth opened, and she grinned. “Perfect response. I’m impressed.”
He scowled. “What?”
“I’m a bitch, I’m happy with that, thank you, I don’t need to be liked so you can fuck off with your condescension. But that girl has suffered, and she brave-faces her whole life. I will not have anyone fuck with her while she’s under my roof.” She settled back managing elegance in a taxi cab. “She’s broken.”
“You’d be surprised how strong she is.”
“There are different kinds of strength. Hers is of survival. She’s like Pete in many ways. They think we don’t see. The others can be vacuous fucks, and I’m no different, but I want to help her. Toughen her up so she’s not torn apart. You should have seen her when she first moved in. Staring off into the distance, not thinking anyone saw her tear stained eyes.” She raised a brow. “Which, I take was your doing. Whatever went on with you two, make sure you don’t repeat the mistake, and put it right, and cocking-well don’t fuck it up.”
Arthur was sure she could kill him and make the body disappear by the look in her eyes. “Not this time. As long as she wants me.”
“Very good.”
It was a fair drive out to Downly, a small town that had merged with Chadford when it reached city status, and to its inhabitants, it was still a controversial matter.
Arthur mused that this generation he was surrounded by, some of whom were ten years younger than him, were too young to remember the merger, and the uproar, and probably didn’t give a shit.
The surroundings changed. Gone were the wide city streets and pavements and the infrastructure, it became narrower, smaller, and suburban. It was a bit like Nattleton, but not as nice, more affordable.
He saw everyone pile out of the other taxi as they pulled in. They went up in dribs and drabs, but Rebecca waited for Arthur.
“Hey.” The bright, warm face glowed when she greeted him.
He followed her, keeping his eyes on her arse in those jeans, and gaze went along her nearly bare back, covered only by crisscrossed straps. He wanted to get his fingers under there.
The flat was bigger than he expected as the door opened to a large open-plan room.
A bottle of whisky and a bottle of vodka were brought out, and drinks poured. The whisky was cheap, but he didn’t care.
He sat in an armchair, as all the other seats were taken, and watched Rebecca undo the little buckles of the shoes she wore. Thin stiletto heels, with numerous thin straps that went all the way to her ankle. He’d never thought of himself as a man who liked shoes but transfixed, he managed to swallow back the desire to kiss her senseless. Rebecca noticed him watching and blushed. She leant forward as she undid the other one, and he got a better view of her breasts pushing at the cups of the top she wore, what there was of it. His lips parted, not caring she’d caught him staring.
She groaned and closed her eyes as she put her feet flat. There was only relief in the sound, but he ground his teeth at it as she stretched her feet.
Grabbing a large cushion from the couch making someone move, she flopped it on the floor in front of him and knelt, leaning on one hip, curling her feet beside her, and massaging them absently. She put her arm on the seat, right next to him, and yawning, leant her head on her hand.
He noticed her toenails were painted red and remembered the red swimsuit and a dozen other happy memories and let them come without pain.
Sipping his whisky, he cringed at the taste as she laughed. He paid attention to the room when he realised he was staring too much.
Cressie brought out the cake, and everyone had some, it was okay, but he missed her cakes and everything that she ever did.
“Okay, presents!” Cressie clapped her hands, her dimples deep in her face from her grin and brown eyes sparkling.
She opened the one from Cressie first. It was a finely patterned scarf. The second one she turned over, hesitating over as if she expected they were playing a joke on her.
He sat forward as she opened it on the coffee table.
A large boxed vibrator. The room broke into laughter, and she joined in, mortified.
Stella giggled. “Obviously, we didn’t think you’d have company.”
“Oh my god, obviously? Are there any batteries in it.” Rebecca read the back, and the others laughed.
Arthur leant forward, took the box, and his hand rested on Rebecca’s shoulder.
He glanced at it and casually dropped it down. “If you’re going to buy stuff like that, you could have got a decent one.”
Rebecca blushed when he leant forward with her side pressing into Arthur’s leg. He ran his hand along her shoulder and found her smooth skin perfect.
Sitting back after pouring himself a top up, he kept his hand there, continuing to run his fingers in little circles. Rebecca leant her arm along his thigh and put her head on it. He closed his eyes and tried to keep himself under control; she was so close to his crotch it was killing him.
He wanted to be alone with her, not to do anything, well, perhaps a little, but they really needed to talk.
Lulled by the moment but turned on, he closed his eyes. Debating what to, he wavered between taking her to her room or back to his, but he didn’t want to push to quick or hard. For the minute, he was content to exist in her space, and feigned sleep enjoying the peace he’d found.
“Your friend is out cold.” Stella’s voice startled Rebecca.
“Arthur.” She nudged his knee. It was so distracting being so close, and tension coiled.
His only response was his light snore. Why hadn’t she rung him when Maddie held out that phone to her, why hadn’t she vaulted the gate and pounded his door instead of leaving a letter, why had she been weak, why had she run straight away?
She had always been weak and afraid, burying her head, and always thinking people thought the worst of her. She’d testified, fought for herself more than once, and done what she needed in order to survive, but this was about her value, not right and wrong. She’d not be weak and never run again.
Rebecca wanted more than to survive.
She tapped his thigh. Arthur didn’t stir. Knowing she was okay and a few whiskies might have been enough to relax him and was so sweet asleep. His hair was a little longer as if he’d forgotten to get a haircut. It had always been so neat before.
“Perhaps I should call a taxi.” She worried her lip. “Arthur,” she said a little louder and shook him. He grunted.
The noise did something to her.
“How did you two meet?”
“Why does it matter?”
“Do you know who he is? How did you bag him?”
“I know who he is, and I love him, so stop pushing me to get a rise.” Rebecca stood, and rigid anger bubbled over from somewhere deep-set. “You don’t know anything about me, other than my heart was broken, and I loved someone, and you can see it’s him. Who he is to me is no one’s business. I mean is it beyond the realm of possibility that someone might want me?” Rebecca turned back to Arth
ur, her heart pounding, and hands shaking.
“Finally. I’ve been waiting for that.” Stella grinned.
Rebecca set her mouth and then let her frustration go. “What?”
“You don’t get it. I like you, but you never stand up for yourself.”
“Well I am now.”
“I know.” Stella’s face softened and darted a look to Arthur. “Have fun.”
“Arthur? Come on, bedtime.” She shook him harder, her tone commanding. She virtually pulled him up, to which he stumbled and grunted. She pulled him along the hallway and shoved him into the bathroom. “There’s the loo.” She shut the door.
Rebecca went back into the kitchen, while everyone was making moves to go.
“Hey, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, please.” Stella pulled her lips into her mouth, tidying up. “I wished you’d have fought harder against me. I’m not easy, I know, I want more for you than a shutdown heart.”
Stella left her, and it took a moment for Rebecca’s brows to come back down to her eyes. Grabbing two bottles of water, some paracetamol, and a bucket, she dumped them in the bedroom, making sure everything was tidy. She heard the toilet flush and hoped he hadn’t pissed on the floor.
She took a deep breath and went out into the hall. The bathroom door was open, and he leant against the frame, completely awake and grinning at her.
Her eyes went wide, and his sparkled. Pressing her mouth into a line, she turned, and he followed her into the bedroom. She stood nervously not speaking while he kept his focus on her.
The silence became too much.
“You can take the bed,” she whispered and began to unfold the chair in the corner to a fold out single bed.
“Rebecca.”
“Actually, I’ll go get changed.” She grabbed a pyjama set and fled to the bathroom.
He must have heard every word. She groaned, taking her makeup off.
She scrubbed her teeth a little harder than she ought, peeled her clothes off and jerked the pyjamas on, and she went back to the bedroom with a mind to tell him off, unsure where this anger was coming from.
When she saw him as he was sitting propped up in her bed under the sheet, her anger vanished. Shirtless. His shirt, trousers, and socks were neatly folded on her chair with his shoes set underneath. That meant he was only in his underwear.
“I never saw this photo.” He had the frame in his hands, one of the two on her bedside. One was a picture of Alice taken when she was in her twenties; beautiful and glamorous. The second, the one he held, was of the three of them. Rebecca was beaming, while they were eating ice-creams in the garden.
“It’s my favourite.” Her annoyance evaporated.
“It was the first time we kissed that day.” He said it with a little smile and seemed easier than he’d been but still tired. His eyes flickered at her pyjamas. It was a camisole and very short shorts, loose but the cotton was soft and thin, maybe a bit too thin.
He put the picture down and his brow furrowed. “I think there are some things we need to talk about, lots of things actually, but if I’m honest, I want to sleep. I haven’t slept properly since you left.”
She pulled her lips into her mouth and chewed them, but she nodded.
“Nothing is going to happen.” He pulled back the light duvet.
She switched on the little lamp and turned off the big light trying not to tremble. She’d thought of this moment so many times. He’d climb into bed with her and whisper comfort and love. He’d hold her tight, and it was happening.
The bed was a queen, and he wasn’t a small man.
He sighed deeply with his face close and stroked her hair, smoothing it back. “I’ve missed you so much, and I’m so sorry for shutting you out. I should have done it all differently.” Pain etched his eyes in the dimness.
“You heard everything with Stella.”
“She’s trying to help you.”
“I know, but it’s no less annoying.”
“You gave her what for.”
“I don’t want to talk about Stella.”
He frowned. “Can I ask you something?”
She nodded.
“I’d like to sleep the way we did before. Nothing will happen. I don’t want this to be our first time, not yet, and we need to talk about what we both want.” He put his arm around her, and she snuggled closer. “But I will warn you that I am happy to see you, particularly in those pyjamas. Do you know they’re see-through?”
Mortified, she sat up peering down at her chest. “Shit.”
“I don’t mind.” He looked at the same place that she was.
She laughed and pushed his shoulder, embarrassed at her obvious attraction. “You know, I'm okay. I mean you don’t have to be overly careful or worried. You’re not going to upset me. I’ve been ready a long time. I never thought I’d see you again. I don’t really know how you feel.”
She snuggled into his embrace, feeling utterly at home and incredibly excited with his hardness against her.
“Well, I think you could take that as a clue.” He put his hands in her hair.
Warm skin and his masculine body pressed on hers. Rebecca wanted to feel every part of him. Her whole body wanted, everything screamed need. She tried not to squirm.
“I love you as I’ve always done, and I want what we nearly had.” He kissed the corner of her mouth gently.
Rebecca’s heart skipped, and she responded, holding him tighter. He felt down her back and squeezed her bottom, and they shifted so they were on their sides.
“You don’t want to do this?” Her voice was quiet, trying to ask for what she needed.
“I want to spend hours making love to you, not the few minutes I think you’d get at one o’clock in the morning.”
She laughed, but he kissed her again, and it felt so good.
Her leg draped over his hip, and she moaned as she undulated up and down on him.
His hand went up her cami, teasing up and down her back. He caressed her body and her breasts. Her hips moved quicker with his erection pressed between them, rubbing in the right spot. She made little noises into his mouth until she suddenly bucked and came against him in a hard and quick rush of pleasure. She didn’t even think, it just happened.
She pulled back, flushed, and mortified. “I’m sorry.”
He smiled, and there was a little wonder in his face. “Sorry? That was… I want you so much.” He kissed her again, harder, tongue deeper, and she knew how urgently he wanted her, his body was all hardness and strength, yet he held back from her, and she wanted him to let go.
She reached down between them, holding his eye she tentatively pushed down his underwear and grasped him. Her cheeks burnt as she found him hot to her touch. He sucked in a breath.
“You don’t need to do this,” he whispered into her mouth.
“I want to. I want you to have the pleasure I did.”
He hissed his breath through his teeth as she stroked him. He gripped her waist tightly and kissed her, moving his hips into her hand, and she matched the pace he set. His body tensed, she leant back and pulled her cami up, quickening her pace. His eyes closed, and head stretched back.
“Rebecca,” his voice a harsh whisper, “that’s it.”
He could have guided her, dictated to her and taken control, but he let her make her own steps to him, it was her choice to move forward, and she took it.
“That feels so good, oh, fuck, I’m going to come.” His face tensed, his shoulders stilled, she gripped him harder as he opened his eyes and watched himself come onto the soft skin of her stomach.
Breathing hard, he scanned her wide eyes. She looked down, unsure what to do.
He reached over to the bedside table, picked up the little cube of tissues, and wiped her stomach.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. Was that all right?”
He smiled with heavy eyes. “It was. You have no idea how muc
h I’ve thought about this. How much I have wanted you, wanted us.”
She turned off the light, kissed him, holding him as she had done all those months ago. She felt his whole body give. He was asleep in minutes, and she followed in the lull of his gentle breath.
Arthur was warm. More than usual, and he realised he was also not alone. His eyes snapped open to bright light. Creamy skin and blonde hair filled his vision. It wasn’t a dream.
He’d found her, and it was real.
“Hey.”
“What time is it?” he mumbled as he snuggled back into her arms, kissing under her neck.
“Ten.”
“Wow.”
“How do you feel?”
“I can’t move.”
She wriggled. “Um, well, I’ve been awake for an hour, and I kind of need a piss.” She laughed as he grumpily let her go with a huff.
In the sun that streamed through the curtains, he saw through the cami and shorts even more. She put on a short cotton robe and went out. He sighed and rubbed his face.
There were things he had to do today.
She came back with coffee. He sipped his drink.
“Do you have plans?” he ventured.
“Nope, I'm all yours, I mean, if you don’t have plans, that’s if you want to do anything today. Not that we have to or anything.” She fidgeted, and her animated face bobbed about.
Arthur grinned and pulled her down to him while their drinks cooled. “Well, there is something I need to see to this morning, but if you’d like, we can spend the afternoon together, and see what happens.”
“That would be great. And I need to talk to Stella.”
“Well, how about, I go and deal with some stuff, and then I come back and pick you up, about one?”
“Sounds good. What do you have in mind?”
“Well, it’s technically your birthday today.”
“True.”
“I’d like to give you a gift.”
She pressed her face into his shoulder, running her hand down his chest. “I think you can count as my gift. Us finding each other is the best thing that has happened to me.”
Getting a Life (New City Series Book 4) Page 18