by Brie Paisley
Damn him and his addictive touch.
Trying to shake off Caden and his hands, I take a plate from him, and we both fill up on pancakes. He grabs the syrup, and we take a seat at his small table. “This looks really good,” Caden says I’m glad he’s sitting across from me. I need a break from him, and some distance will be good. At least I think distance is going to be good. Unable to stop myself from watching him take his first bite, I wish I’d actually thought before I let myself do so. My stomach clenches as he moans loudly letting me know he’s enjoying that bite way too much. He hasn’t noticed me watching him yet, or maybe he has, and he’s doing this on purpose. Either way, my lady bits are suddenly on fire as I stare at his lips. My mouth opens as he licks them free of the syrup, and Jesus, I sort of wish I was the one licking the sweetness away. “Are you not goin’ to eat?” Shit. Quickly glancing away and hoping he doesn’t notice my blush, I fight the urge to look up again when I hear him chuckle. It’s official, Caden Harlow is going to be the death of me.
We finish eating our meal in silence, and I don’t dare look up from my food. I won’t lie, I’m afraid if I do, Caden will catch me in the act again, or I’ll end up drooling like some lovesick teen. Taking the last bite and swirling it once more in the syrup, I let out a sigh as I enjoy it. Dropping my fork and wiping my mouth, I lean back in my chair and finally glance up. Noticing Caden is staring at me, I begin to think maybe I have something on my face. “What? Do I have syrup on me or something?”
He smirks before saying, “No. Just watchin’ you.”
“Well you can stop. It’s creepy.”
“Maybe I’m a creepy kind of guy.”
Rolling my eyes, I take a drink of my beer. Setting it down back on the table, I lean back upright as I ask, “So tell me something about you that no one knows.”
His eyes widen as if he’s shocked by my randomness, but it only takes him a minute to answer me. “That’s sort of a hard question to answer considerin’ I don’t keep secrets or hide anythin’.”
“Come on. There has to be at least one thing.”
Taking both of his hands and placing them behind his head, he leans back in his chair. Glancing away as I notice his biceps contracting, I bite the inside of my cheek. I swear he’s doing this on purpose. “I got it,” he says as he drops his hands and lays them on the table. “You have to promise not to laugh.”
Shaking my head, I grin. “I don’t think I can make that promise.”
“At least try to contain yourself then.”
“I’m all ears. Spill it.”
He lets out a long sigh, and I just know this is going to be hilarious. “Alright so when I was like nine or ten, I had a little incident with my zipper.” Frowning, I can only guess where he’s going with this. “It was more like a fight gone wrong. Anyway I was at school in the bathroom, and the bell just rang for us to go home. I was so focused on leavin’, I wasn’t watchin’ when I zipped my pants. It was the one time my zipper got stuck, and just so you know, zippin’ your britches while walkin’ is not a good idea.” Oh this is rich. I cover my mouth trying as hard as I can not to laugh. “I’m sure you can imagine how that ended. I was so embarrassed I got my dick caught in my zipper, I didn’t tell anyone. Needless to say, I suffered in silence for a few days.” I end up losing the battle with my laughing. I can’t help myself, especially since I see him visibly shiver as if he’s reliving the memory. His eyes cut to me as he deadpans, “Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. I still have a scar from that, and I’ve been very careful not to redo that again.”
My shoulders begin to shake as my laughter keeps coming. Tears even fill my eyes as I picture what it must have been like for him. “I’m … sorry … I just … can’t even.”
“I’m sort of disturbed by your lack of sympathy for my penis. It hurt like hell.”
Getting some control over myself, I wipe my eyes as I let out a breath. “I’m sure it was, but holy fuck. That was funny.”
“Happy to provide you with a good laugh.” Caden crosses his arms, but I see his smile. “I could ask you for an embarrassin’ story, but I’m a nice guy, so I won’t. Instead,” he starts, and I hold my breath waiting for what he’s about to ask. I have no clue as to why I’m suddenly nervous. Maybe it’s the way he’s looking at me with those blue eyes of his, or maybe it’s the way that grin turns into a cocky smirk. “If you had one wish, what would you use it for and why?”
Oh-kay. That was totally different than I thought he would ask. Caden has surprised me yet again for tonight. “That’s an easy one.” Using the tip of my finger, I rub around the tip of the beer bottle as I confess, “I’d use it to find my mom.” At his confused gaze, I explain. “I was adopted when I was six months old. My adoptive parents told me when I was sixteen, and I don’t know. Since then, I feel as if there’s a piece of me missing. I’ve been looking for her for years, and I’d almost given up hope until my dad gave me a vital clue when I was away at college.” Taking my finger off the bottle, I lean back in my chair and bring my legs up to my chest. Wrapping my arms around my legs, I glance down at my empty plate. “I had so many plans, and so much I wanted to do with my life.” Smiling as I remember my dream, my heart clenches when I realize how I’ve put my entire life on hold to find the one person that can make me whole again. “I wanted to be a photographer and travel the world with just me, a backpack, and a camera.” Looking up, Caden has his chin resting on his hands as he gazes at me. “Do you think it’s stupid to give up my dreams for someone who doesn’t want to be found?”
“No,” he says without hesitation, and for some reason, the confidence in his voice gives me hope. “It’s not stupid at all. If findin’ your birth mother means this much to you, then you have to keep goin’. Plus it’s not like you can’t go after your dreams once you find her.” I can’t seem to find the words I want to say. It’s as if he knew I needed strength to continue with my search, and he’s given it to me. Our gazes lock and for the first time, I realize there’s so much more to him that I thought.
Letting my legs drop, I grin widely as I hear Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd begin to play. “I love this song.”
Caden quickly moves out of his chair, and I watch him intently as he walks over to me. Holding out a hand, he moves his fingers back and forth. “Dance with me, Savannah.” Without giving it another thought, I place my hand in his. He leads me into the living room and drops my hand for a second to move the coffee table out of the way and to turn the volume up.
Feeling my heart begin to race, I lick my lips as he stands in front of me. Slowly taking my waist, I move forward and place my arms around his neck. Laying my head on his chest, I close my eyes as we sway back and forth like eighth graders at a school dance. But it’s everything to me. This song has always been one of my favorites and just knowing Caden wanted to enjoy this moment with me, well that means something right? I don’t want to overthink it. I want to live in this moment, just for a second. So instead of pulling away like my head is telling me, I let myself relax. I take in Caden’s manly smell mixed with his cologne. I let his warmth flow into me, and when he rests his head on mine, I let out a content sigh. For so long I’ve forgotten what it was like to let someone touch me, or even hold me like this. It’s kind of a big deal I’m doing it now, with a stranger no less.
As the song picks up the pace, Caden takes my hand and twirls me around. He starts singing the lyrics, and I can’t stop myself from joining him. Although we’re both off key, it feels good to let loose. Laughing loudly as Caden pretends to play guitar with the solo, I throw my hands up as I let the music and the beat flow through me. We’re like two kids again as we dance and sing around his small living room, but I don’t care. I’m having a blast watching him, and his grin is infectious. I even cheer him on as he bends down to one knee as he continues to play his fake guitar. “I forgot how long this song was,” he yells out.
“I know. Isn’t it great?” Spinning around with my hands in the air, I start to remember my once f
ree spirit. My mom always told me I reminded her of a bird. She said if I let my wings spread out wide, I could do anything. Then she would play this song for me, and she and I would dance around the house singing at the top of our lungs.
Which is why when the song begins to end, I feel a deep sadness in my heart. I realize how much I miss my parents, and I think maybe it is okay if I stop this crazy search and go home to the two people that love me unconditionally.
Glancing up as I hear the volume being turned down, I try to control my rapid breathing. I’m out of breath, and I’m sure my cheeks are flushed from dancing. Caden turns around and he of course, doesn’t look like he’s even broken a sweat. I, on the other hand, probably look as if I’ve just run five miles. When he stands in front of me, I hope and pray I don’t smell like body odor. How embarrassing would that be? His blue eyes meet mine, and I can’t seem to look away. He has me entranced in those bright blue eyes. Out of the corner of my eye, I see his hand reaching up, and I suck in a harsh breath as he brushes my hair behind my ear then cups my cheek. I can barely think at this point because I know what’s coming. There’s no stopping it, and fuck I don’t think I want it to. “Do you know you’re absolutely stunnin’ when you let go, small fry?”
Not dropping my gaze, I let out a small laugh at his ridiculous nickname for me. Why he continues to call me that, I’ll never know unless I ask. Even if he’s half serious and playful at the same time, I still want him to kiss me. I don’t think I’ve wanted something so much from a guy before. His other hand caresses the other side of my cheek as he leans in. Shit. This is it. There’s no going back after this, and I know there’s no way in hell I can be friends with him once this is over. I want it too bad, and maybe it’s okay to enjoy one kiss for a moment.
Or two.
When his lips meet mine, I know a moment isn’t going to be enough.
Caden takes his time taking my lips, but I don’t mind. His kiss is tender and almost too gentle. Maybe he wants to see how I’ll react, but when his tongue touches my lips seeking permission, I eagerly open for him. As soon as I do, our kiss changes almost instantly. He groans as the air leaves my lungs, and I grab onto his shirt as I try not to fall into him even more. All I can feel is him, and all I can taste is him. He’s everywhere invading all my senses. Caden deepens our kiss when his hand snakes to my neck, and I find myself pulling him closer to me. Tilting my head the way the wants, I let him control our kiss. It’s everything I imagined, but at the same time, it’s so much more. It feels like sensation overload and desire begins to flow through me. My stomach clenches as he takes my bottom lip and nips at it, and when my hands roam up his back, I realize what I’m doing.
I can’t do this with him.
Pulling away, I step back putting some distance between us. His eyes snap to mine, and I try so very hard to control my breathing. Taking my hand and covering my mouth, I relive our first kiss. But I don’t want to. I can’t let him overtake me like that again. It’s pointless to be involved with him knowing why I’m here, and the fact I’m not here to stay. Seeing the hurt in his eyes, I glance down at the floor. “I didn’t realize I was so bad at kissin’, small fry.”
He’s trying to lighten the mood, but I can hear how tense his voice is. “No, it’s not that.” Looking back up, he waits for me to finish, but I don’t know how to explain why I can’t go there with him. “I … I think I should go.” He only nods then turns to the door. Following him back to his truck, my heart hurts knowing I’m pushing him away. I hate feeling as though I just made a mistake because I could see a life being with Caden. But maybe that’s the problem.
I don’t want to hand him the power to hurt me.
Savannah Owens is a fucking mystery.
I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong here. One second she’s hotter than the Fourth of July, then with a blink of an eye, she’s freezing cold. Like the kind of cold that makes my dick shrink to an embarrassing size and my poor balls suck up into my body. Okay bad image there, but I’m not sure how else to explain it. It’s been one day since our date. One that started off epically but ended horribly. Maybe I shouldn’t have kissed her, but the moment was too perfect to pass up. Not to mention, I know Savannah wanted me. Her eyes wouldn’t leave me all night, and her body language told me she was into it.
What went wrong?
I’ve been going over it since I dropped her off at The Holiday Inn. She wouldn’t let me walk her to her room. She didn’t even say a word to me after we left my apartment. Running a hand down my face, I feel the frustration building. Before picking up my phone, I turn down my CB radio in the squad car. It’s probably not the best idea to be so distracted while on duty, but I really want to figure Savannah out. Plus it’s not like there’s tons of criminals ripping and roaming the roads this early in the day. I’m so fucking glad I don’t have a rookie riding along with me today. It’s sad and pathetic at how much I’ve been checking my phone, but I don’t want to miss if Savannah decides to message me. Deciding I should man the fuck up, I send her a message first.
Me: I had this thought.
Staring at the message, I can’t help but think how stupid this is. Why when it comes to her, I feel as though all my wit, charm, and everything that makes me who I am fly right out the window? This girl has me all wrapped up in knots, and fuck she doesn’t even know it. Setting my phone in my cup holder, I take a deep breath hoping Savannah responds. Deciding to get my head out of my ass, I pull out of the parking lot and begin to patrol around Main Street. It’s too early for anything exciting, but maybe I’ll get lucky and catch someone speeding. I’ll take anything I can get at this point to distract me.
Just as I’m turning around to do another sweep, my phone pings. I won’t lie and say my stomach didn’t just drop hearing the sound. Hoping it’s Savannah, I pull into an empty parking spot in front of a small bistro.
Sassy S: I’m scared to ask what thought that is.
Thank fuck it’s her. Seeing her message gives me a bit of hope that I didn’t royally fuck everything up.
Me: You + me and a redo date.
Okay, okay. A bit bold but still. I’ve never been the one to beat around the bush about what I want, and Savannah is someone I definitely want. Letting the squad car idle while waiting for her response, I wish my heart would stop pounding in my chest. I swear, I’m acting like a lovesick adolescent boy again.
Sassy S: I’m sorry but I can’t.
Clenching my jaw, I refuse to take no for an answer.
Me: I promise not to kiss you again.
Sassy S: I can’t Caden.
Me: Why not? I’m a nice guy. You’re a beautiful woman. I know you enjoyed yourself with me.
Sassy S: It’s complicated.
Me: It’s only complicated if you make it so.
When she doesn’t reply back after ten minutes, I know she won’t give me any answers. Tossing my phone in the passenger seat, I quickly back out of the parking spot and continue with my patrolling. I try not to think of Savannah and her vague ass message, but I can’t help myself. There’s something going on with her, and for once in my life, I’m actually scared to find out what her secrets are. My instincts are going off with full force, but I don’t know why. It’s just a feeling that something big is coming, and I’ve learned to trust my instincts. I sort of have to with my line of work.
The thing is no matter how much I try to focus on my job, I still have this burning question that won’t go away.
What am I going to do to make Savannah mine?
A few hours have gone by since I’ve heard from her. I’ve all but given up and decide maybe it’s best she doesn’t respond. Lord knows I want her to text me, send a smoke signal, or something to let me know she’s still here. The fear she’ll up and leave without a word bothers me more than I thought it would. I guess now I know how Carter felt when Shelby left him all those years ago. He was a fucking mess, but at the time, I didn’t really understand it. My brothers and I have known since the d
ay Carter met Shelby that they would end up together, but now that it’s a possibility for me, well it fucking sucks a big donkey dick. Then again, is it crazy how much I already care about Savannah? It seems strange when I think about it because come on, I barely know her. Every time I think of never seeing her again, never hearing her voice, or seeing her smile, my chest begins to constrict.
Which is why when my phone begins to chime back to back with new messages, I raise an eyebrow and pick it up. Knowing I’m parked in a safe area to read them, I unlock it.
Sassy S: I want you to kiss me again.
Sassy S: Do you think my butt looked fat last night?
Sassy S: Seriously still waiting for that kiss.
Confused doesn’t even begin to explain what I’m feeling. Reading over her messages again, I have to wonder if she’s not under the influence. There’s just no way she’d send me mixed signals just because she could. I don’t get that kind of vibe from her and highly doubt she’s trying to play me.
Me: Are you high?
Sassy S: AF!
Sassy S: LOL you should try it sometime.
Me: Considering my job I probably shouldn’t.
Sassy S: YOLO!
Sassy S: Can you come over? I really would like that kiss now.