“I’d really like for you to share something with me,” she said as their hands lowered to the blanket. “I’d like to get to know you better.”
“What you said…” He coughed, cleared his throat, and started again, “What you said about how I shouldn’t lecture you on how to behave when it comes to parents, well, you were right.” He raised his wine glass and took a rather large gulp; she squeezed his hand to encourage him through his nerves. “I know you come from a similar background, but I have never met anyone quite like you. Your spirit blazes with such strength and independence that it’s like a beacon. Maybe that sounds corny, but it's like a beacon to people like me, who feel lost in the dark.” She smiled at him and squeezed his hand again to let him know she was with him. She didn’t think he was corny at all. “I have so much to work on and a lot of issues to work through. I don’t think I’m ready to make a clean break from my parents just yet, but you’ve shown me it’s possible. I’m going to use your example to fix mistakes I’ve made in the past, and I'll do things differently in the future.”
“What mistakes have you made, Ravi?”
He rolled to his side to look at her directly. “That’s the thing I need to tell you. I want you to understand, if you ever let me kiss you again, what you’re getting into.” She frowned and felt a little bubble of anxiety in her stomach. This thing was supposed to be a summer fling, but Ravi’s words sounded a little ominous and heavy for a summer fling. She nodded anyway, with tacit approval for him to continue. “I’ve been in love once before.” He hesitated and she nodded again. “I was in love with a girl my parents introduced me to. I was in love with her from a very young age, and I ignored every other girl who ever showed any interest in me.”
“What happened?”
“She disappeared from my life. She was quite young when it ended—so young that, even though I loved her, I had never even kissed her. It sounds insane, but she broke my heart so badly that I've avoided relationships ever since. Like you, I decided to focus on my studies, but unlike you, I focused on what my parents wanted and not what I wanted.”
Nandita was just beginning to grasp what she thought Ravi was trying to tell her, and it made her heart hurt. After this admission, he had turned onto his back again and was gazing out at the fields, avoiding eye contact. She turned toward him. His fingers were still shaking, so she picked up his other hand and wound her fingers through his. “Ravi, are you trying to tell me you’ve never had a serious relationship? Why would that matter to me?”
Sally’s voice popped into her head. It would matter because you called him a summer fling. He just told you a girl broke his heart, yet you're planning on meeting a new fiancé next week?. Think about other people, girl. Remember what I said?
She should leave—she should get up right now and leave. It was pointless letting this… thing go any further. He then turned toward her, his dark eyes moist, and she fell into them. How could she leave this lovely man on this perfect day?
He took a deep breath. “I’ve never had a serious relationship. I’ve never had a relationship, at all. I’ve never even kissed a woman before you.”
She kept her eyes steady on his. She didn’t want him to think his admission shocked her in any way, but it did. Movie Star Ravi had never even kissed a woman! She was his first kiss? What a kiss it was! As she remembered the passion that burst between them when their lips met, she realized it was probably her first kiss, too. After all, she’d never experienced anything like it before.
She chuckled a little. “So, was it good for you?”
He raised his eyebrows in surprise and then laughed along with her. “It was very good for me. It was more than I imagined a kiss could be. I’d like to do it again, sometime, if you would let me.”
Should she tell him this couldn’t last? Should she let him in on her plans? If she did, she felt quite sure this budding relationship would end. She wasn’t ready for that yet. She wanted to stay right here and savor this moment, lying on this blanket with the sun shining and her hand in his. She would tell him soon—she wouldn’t let it get too far—but she would enjoy today.
They sat quietly, staring at each other, for a few moments until Ravi reached out and took her glass from her hand. He placed both glasses on top of the picnic basket and then pulled her gently down onto the blanket. He tilted her face up to his, moving toward her slowly. Nandita felt her stomach somersault. As his mouth found hers and his tongue gently parted her willing lips, she wondered how it was possible that this man had never kissed before?
It was a delightful afternoon.
27
Claire – The Glimpse
Claire had an appointment with a boutique at the Princeton Market Fair that evening and decided to leave Hoboken a few hours early. She thought she'd surprise Nandita and take her out for a nice meal. After all, who knew what Nandita had been eating since she'd moved out on her own? Claire and Satish had always done the cooking, since Nandita had been stuck in her room with her nose in a book throughout college.
Had they had spoiled her a little? Were they partially responsible for enabling this oblivious, single-minded drive that had flourished in Nandita as she focused so intently on her goals? They'd cooked for her and done her laundry; Claire had even popped into her room now and then to give it a good dusting and change the sheets. Yes, they'd enabled her. Satish would say they had only been doing their duty, as his parents expected they would. His guilt at “stealing” her from his father directed most of his decisions about her, but now even she was worried about Nandita living on her own. Was she eating properly? Did she find being in that little studio overwhelming? She decided she would ask her at dinner that night and offer her some help, if she needed it.
Claire snagged a parking spot right in Palmer Square and jogged quickly to the other side of the street, stopping in front of Nan’s little red door. She rang the bell a few times, but there was no answer. Nandita was probably out shopping, or something; it was 5pm, so even if she'd been out for the day, she should have been back soon. She leaned against the door and called Nandita’s cell a few times, but there was no answer. She sent her a quick text.
Where are you?
Nothing.
She checked Facebook to see if she was active on Messenger, but she hadn’t been active for seven hours.
Oh well, so much for dinner and a nice chat. Now she'd be eating alone. She would finish her appointment and then stop at Big Fish; the seafood jambalaya would cheer her up.
Back in her car, Claire tried not to worry about why Nandita was ghosting her. Did she forget to charge her phone? She hadn’t said anything about going out when they’d chatted last night. In fact, now that Claire thought of it, Nandita had specifically told her she would be staying in. She’s a grown up now, remember? she thought. Plans change.
Her mind had moved on to prepare for her meeting as she turned toward the mall. The woman she was meeting with was a difficult customer who seemed to believe, despite the fact that Claire’s products sold faster than 90% of the rest of her stock, that she was owed a discount when an item sat on her shelf for more than a month. She might have been more trouble than she was worth.
She had been hesitant to begin selling her line outside of Claire’s in Hoboken, but Sally had persuaded her that it was the right strategy.
“You’ll widen your distribution,” Sally had said, “and customers will start considering Claire’s of Hoboken a destination shop.”
Sally had been right, of course. Since she had extended her distribution to other small exclusive boutiques in New Jersey, foot traffic at her Hoboken boutique had doubled. She always asked her customers where they were from, and she was surprised to find women driving from as far away as Sandy Hook to shop Claire’s complete collection versus the limited selection available elsewhere.
Now she shifted her concern for Nandita’s whereabouts to Sally’s state of mind. She was worried about her friend. She was always the optimistic, emotionally stable
, if slightly emotionally excessive, one. When she'd popped into the store last night, though, Claire had barely recognized her old friend. She looked as though she hadn’t slept in a week, snapped at her a few times over trivial things, and seemed on the verge of tears. Claire knew the stress of the fighting was getting to her, but she was surprised. Could have gotten this bad?
Maybe it was time she asked Satish to have a chat with Tod. The men were very close; it had surprised Claire that they had become friends in their own right, outside of the two couples, so quickly. She considered that Tod was probably the first real friend Satish had ever had.
She was passing Princeton Battlefield State Park now. The heat of the summer day still hadn’t faded, but it didn’t stop anyone from enjoying this gorgeous location. Bikers flew by, kids pushed scooters, and there were lots of folks walked their dogs along the pathway next to the lush, green field. An Ultimate Frisbee game was underway around the new baby Mercer Oak tree on her left. On her right was an adorable couple, their hands tightly entwined and their heads tilted toward each other intimately. They had just arrived at their car parked about hundred feet ahead of her, so she slowed down to give them some space to open the door.
Claire nearly drove into them in surprise. Her dangerous swing toward them should have caused them to leap backward in fear, but they were completely oblivious. The stalker cupped his hand under Nandita’s chin and kissed her sweetly.
She veered dangerously to the left again while she strained to see what was going on in her rearview mirror. She couldn’t see a thing, of course: just Nandita and the stalker guy getting into his car. Nandita and the stalker guy? Okay, so the stalker guy was not actually a stalker—that much had been clear, to her. He had obviously just been too shy to approach her and was getting up his nerve, but now that she’d had a good look at him, she couldn’t believe he’d ever been too shy to talk to Nandita.
Forget the guy, though; what was Nandita doing with a man? “No Men” was her first commandment. How many times had she repeated it to her and Satish over the course of the last few years since the Misty disaster? Why would she choose to get involved now, when her visa was about to expire? Nandita was most definitely not the kind of girl to have a non-committal fling, was she? Plus, what about that body language? Anyone who’d seen those two from afar would assume they were in the throes of early, lustful passion. Lustful, passion, and Nandita were words that didn’t go together, though—or maybe she was wrong.
Was this good news? Of course it was! Nandita had finally decided to chill out and enjoy herself. So what if it was only temporary? She deserved a little fun in her life, and maybe it would loosen her up a little. Claire couldn’t wait to tell Sally; she would call her as soon as she got to the restaurant. She would then bust out her computer and send a quick email to her pen pal. What would Nandita’s mother make of this news? She'd be thrilled, right? What mother didn’t dream of a white knight sweeping her daughter off her feet? What would she write?
Hi. I think your daughter might be in love!
28
Sally – The Gift
“You look tired, babe.” Tod sat down next to Sally on the couch and handed her a glass of wine as he propped his feet up on the coffee table.
She smiled at him weakly. “Thanks, those words are exactly what I want to hear from my husband, who I haven’t seen in twenty-four hours. Glad you are swept away by my beauty.” She was grumpy and trying to rile him, but he wouldn’t be baited. He just laughed.
“Babe, I’m always swept away by your beauty. Even if you didn’t sleep for a month, you'd still be stunning, and I’d still want to drag you to my bed.” He turned slightly and nuzzled into her neck. His lips grabbed her earlobe, which he nibbled gently before whispering into her ear, “I could drag you to my bed right now?”
Sally put her hand on his side and gave him a shove. He jumped back, still laughing. He couldn’t stand it when she touched his ribs with intent; he was so ticklish.
“I thought you didn’t want to ‘conquer.’” She sipped her wine and checked his expression from the corner of her eye. He just looked confused.
“What?”
“Wouldn’t it be hard to take me to your bed now that I’ve ‘slipped away?’” She put air quotes around the words. Who knew if it was the correct usage of air quotes, but she felt they were necessary, and they gave her a sense of self-satisfaction. She was going to have it out with him today, once and for all, and get everything out in the open. She was too tired to fight anymore.
Tod just looked even more confused. He put his wine down on the coffee table and reached over to lay the flat of his palm against her forehead. “Seriously, Sally, you don’t look well, and now you’re talking gibberish. Are you alright?”
Sally pushed his hand away, stood, and walked toward the large, marble island separating the living room from the kitchen. She loved this loft—it was her dream apartment. Oh God, if Tod left her for being such a bitch, she was going to end up in a grungy, stale-smelling studio over by the projects. It would be the most she could afford without her job or Claire as a roommate.
“You said I'd slipped away from you. You said you didn’t like me now that I wanted to divide and conquer. You said I was too ambitious. You want to leave me.”
Tod stood and moved quickly to the counter, taking Sally into his arms and hugging her tightly. He pressed his lips into her hair and firmly kissed her before he took a step back and looked her in the eyes. She could see the emotion clear on his face: he was confused and scared. He didn’t look mad, though, which was something.
When she dropped her head, he crouched down so he could look at her directly again. “When, baby? When do you think I said all of this stuff?”
She was crying now. What the hell was wrong with her lately? She felt like some alien version of herself. “The other night you were out on the terrace, and you were telling the guys you didn’t love me anymore.” She was stunned when a loud laugh escaped Tod’s chest. He'd obviously been trying to keep it contained.
“Don’t love you anymore? Sally, are you insane? Have you been listening to a word I’ve said during our last five arguments? I love you! I love you more than you could imagine! I love you so much that I can’t stand being away from you, but you keep sending me away on these trips because you want to build some crazy business empire when all I want to do is spend a quiet life with you… and maybe kids, one day, if you’ll have them.”
“You want kids right now?” Sally looked up at him in surprise. “Of course I’ll have them! I love kids.”
“The kids will come when the time is right, Sal. I’m just trying to get you to understand that you, a family, free time, and work I enjoy that can support us is all I want out of our life together. This crazy year of running all over the country to make money we don’t need, and build a reputation I don’t want, have only made that clearer to me.” He sighed and led her back to the couch to sit down. “You heard me expressing my frustration to the guys, and I’m sorry you misunderstood.”
Sally heard him, this time. He wanted her, he wanted them to be together, and he wanted a future, but he didn’t want this—and neither did she. Over the past few weeks, she had realized it wasn’t worth it. Tod didn’t want it, and she wanted Tod to be happy. Like she just told Nandita a few days before, you couldn’t be so intent on your own goals that you forgot about the needs of others.
“It’s okay,” Sally said. “I’m glad I overheard that conversation—it was what you said that made me stop and think. You said you felt like a brand, and that made me feel terrible. I realized you were right: I was treating you as one of my projects. I wasn’t doing it for you, but for me.” She reached over, pulled a napkin from the holder on the island, and wiped her eyes. “It made me think about what I’ve been doing with Nandita, you know, encouraging her to get married to some stranger just so she can continue to work toward her goals. I started thinking about us, then, and how hard it is with me pushing you all the time.
I realized it would be dumb for her to marry a stranger and believe she'd be able to make it work while she only went after what she wanted all the time.” Tod nodded at her, smiling. “I mean, look at us. We are like, stupidly in love, probably soul mates, and even we can’t figure it out with me being such an ambitious, crazy lady. I’m just setting Nandita up for failure.”
She sighed and picked up her wine, taking a gulp before she put it back down. “I started to feel so stressed about everything that I realized, if you didn’t love me anymore it was my fault.” Tod chuckled again and pulled her toward him, wrapping her in his arms. “You were right, Tod: I’m not enjoying this, either. This constant struggle, never-ending stress, and always missing you. I think about you every minute when you aren’t here. Sometimes, I even get mad at you for going away, and it’s my fault! How dumb is that?”
“Not dumb at all, babe.” Tod pushed her away slightly and cupped her face in his warm hands. She smiled under the calming effect of his touch. “You have big dreams, okay?” he said. “Big dreams that sometimes get the better of you. I think you’re starting to realize that, just because you can do it—and I believe you can make me an international sensation—doesn’t mean you should. I’ve been trying to tell you I don’t want to be an international sensation. If you’re doing it for me, you’re doing it wrong. I just want to be with you.”
She rested her head on his shoulder, feeling more exhausted than she had ever felt in her life. “I get it, Tod. I get it now. I’ve spent the last week totally obsessed with figuring out how to fix us. I’m so relieved you still love me.”
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