Charades: a cunning game of deception waged by an experienced operative
— from the Personal Codebook of the Pink Carnation
"Surely, dismemberment is a bit extreme, don't you think, my dear?" Mrs. Cathcart blinked placidly at Amy across the tea table.
"Ah, but can a French agent shoot you if he's missing his arm?" countered Amy. "I thought not. Biscuit?"
The ladies had retired to the Rose Room while the gentlemen partook of their port after dinner. They presented a deceptively charming domestic scene, reflected Henrietta. Amy, her dark curls held back by a bandeau of golden silk, presided over the tea table, pouring steaming amber liquid into dainty rose-painted glasses. Beside her sat Miss Grey, dark hair pulled back with the same severe simplicity as her untrimmed gray dress, placing cups beneath Amy's somewhat erratic spigot with silent efficiency. Across from them, the comfortable form of Mrs. Cathcart spread over a small sofa. In her old-fashioned dress, with its thick, flowered fabric and wide side-panels, her cheeks as rumpled as pressed rose petals, she was the epitome of the country matron, ready to dole out herbal remedies, tie up the bruised knees of clumsy grandchildren, and tote soup to the deserving poor of the parish.
"No, thank you, dear," said Mrs. Cathcart, shaking her white-capped head as Amy offered her a plate of biscuits. From the gentle frown on her face, one would have expected her to be discussing a particularly complicated knitting pattern, or worrying over the fate of a maid who had found herself in the family way. "You're quite right about the difficultly of aiming a weapon without an arm, but wouldn't it be more Christian simply to shoot the man?"
Amy put the teapot down with an emphatic clink of china. "But then how can we question him?"
Mrs. Cathcart considered. "How, indeed?" she murmured, sipping delicately from her cup. "How, indeed."
Amy shifted restlessly in her seat to stare out the window, which reflected back her own impatient face. "I don't understand why Richard won't let us go after him," she expostulated, a wealth of frustration in her voice.
Familial loyalty stirred Henrietta out of her contemplative silence. "We can't risk the school," Henrietta explained for what felt like the thousandth time.
After her encounter with Miles the night before, Henrietta had gathered her scattered wits together, reminded herself of why she had been flitting about the house in the dark in the first place, and betook herself to her brother to announce the appearance of the Phantom Monk. Wars waited for no such trivialities as broken hearts; while it might feel as though the world had shattered into jagged fragments when she wrenched her hand from Miles's in the study, outside, the sun blithely rose and set, the planets circled in their fixed course, and somewhere in Sussex a French spy plotted mayhem.
For a brief moment, Henrietta had basked in the glow of noble self-denial. She could picture herself a veiled figure of mystery, a constant bane to the French, and a source of wonder and speculation at home. "A broken heart, you know," people would whisper. "A heartless rogue — but isn't it always? But her loss is England's gain. Why, the way she captured that Black Tulip…" The daydream bubble popped, and Henrietta grimaced wryly at herself. It was quite impossible to imagine Miles as an evil seducer, any more than it was to cast herself as a tragic heroine. Henrietta had always known she ran more to Portia than Juliet. Besides, she never understood how tragic, veiled figures managed to get anything accomplished with their vision permanently obscured like that. Wouldn't they be constantly tripping over small tables? But that, Henrietta considered, was precisely why she would never make a tragic heroine. She had been cursed with a logical mind.
Her sister-in-law, not being cursed with a logical mind, had been delighted at the news of the spy, and had wanted nothing more than to dash off into the gardens, veil in place and pistol in hand.
Richard had not been delighted.
Hauling Amy back from the door, Richard had pointed out that to go haring out after the spy would only confirm anything the spy might suspect, if — he added dampeningly — there even was a spy. Running around the grounds at night brandishing a pistol would be guaranteed to convince any clandestine observer that there was something worth investigating at Selwick Hall.
"But," Amy had argued, "don't you see, if we shoot whoever it is, there'll be no one to investigate!"
Richard's lips had clamped shut over a sound that might have been a growl if allowed to grow up. "We don't know that he's alone. There might be others. Are you willing to take that risk?"
Within moments, despite the lack of cape or mask, Richard had transformed back into the Purple Gentian, ordering extra sentries be placed about the grounds and in the old Norman tower. Preferring to keep the news from the rest of the party as long as possible, Richard had reluctantly agreed to carry on with most of the following day's scheduled activities. Shooting at targets, after all, wasn't so unusual a pastime as to garner undue attention, and a multitude of bizarre behavior could be excused under guise of a picnic. The ropes course had been abandoned, much to Henrietta's relief. It was bad enough combating heartache without being suspended several feet off the ground.
Henrietta pulled her attention back to the present as Amy flourished the teapot in a way that boded ill to the Axminster carpet and Henrietta's new silk slippers. Henrietta hastily scooted her feet further beneath her chair, and tucked her muslin skirts out of the way of the dripping spigot.
"It would have been so much simpler my way," insisted Amy.
"At least we didn't have to abandon today's activities," put in Mrs. Cathcart peaceably. "It was very clever of your husband to post sentries in the tower."
"Autocratic," grumbled Amy.
"Hideously," concurred Henrietta automatically, but her heart wasn't in it. Through the crack in the door, she could hear the faint clip of booted feet against the marble, the sound of male voices raised in boisterous conversation, coming closer, closer… Miles.
Henrietta sat very straight, not sure whether to be glad or sorry that she had chosen a chair facing away from the door. Her maid had dressed her hair in the Grecian style, twisted into a topknot with long curls cascading down, and her exposed neck suddenly felt quite vulnerable. Henrietta squirmed irritably in her chair, causing the cascade of curls to brush across the offending area. It wasn't as though Miles hadn't seen her neck before. It wasn't as though Miles would even be looking at her neck, more likely than not. After last night's episode in the study, Miles's behavior had been characterized by stunning indifference.
Could it really be called indifference, Henrietta wondered, when there was no interaction to which one could contrive to be indifferent? They had moved across from each other all day, like the planets on an astronomer's orrery, always circling, never meeting. As they shot at targets dressed as Delaroche, Fouche, and Bonaparte, she had caught glimpses of his blond head in the distance, but he had taken care to keep several people between them. They had been separated by the length of the table at dinner, a large candelabra preventing even the most minimal of eye contact. Henrietta suspected Miles of having moved the candelabra, but had no proof.
If he was avoiding her, what of it? Hadn't she practically ordered him to do so? She had no right to cry after what was lost, she told herself fiercely, taking a vast gulp of tepid tea. She was the one who had set the terms and now she had to abide by them.
Why couldn't Miles have argued with her when she told him they couldn't go back? If he really cared about her in any way at all, wouldn't he have gone after her? Protested? Done something?
The door swung open, and one polished Hessian boot advanced across the threshold. Henrietta hastily yanked her gaze back to the tea tray, feigning great interest in the plate of biscuits. If Miles didn't want anything to do with her, she wouldn't want anything to do with him, either. So there. Muffled by the carpet, the boots strode towards her — Henrietta chomped off a regrettably large bite of biscuit — past her, and Stopped by Amy's chair. A hand boasting a gold signet ring on the pinky descended upon the
back of Amy's chair. Mouth full of glutinous goo, Henrietta's head jerked up. It was her brother.
Not Miles.
Henrietta resolutely swallowed her mouthful of biscuit.
Amy tilted her head up at Richard. "Are the sentries all in place?" she hissed in a stage whisper.
Richard nodded. "If they aren't, someone will answer for it," he said grimly, just as the door swung open again.
Henrietta hastily angled her body towards Mrs. Cathcart, started to reach for the biscuit, and thought better of it. She wasn't making that mistake twice. As to other mistakes she had made…
Miles sauntered into the room, talking very loudly with the two Tholmondelay twins about something entirely incomprehensible that seemed to involve a great deal of sporting cant. The trio made straight for the fireplace, not so much as glancing in Henrietta's direction.
Placing her teacup in her saucer with a definitive clunk, Henrietta twisted in her seat to face her brother.
"What are we doing tonight?" she asked her brother loudly.
"Playing sitting duck for a French spy," replied Richard sourly.
Richard was clearly not in the best of moods. Henrietta could tell it was killing him to have to pretend to play host to a party of houseguests when all he wanted to do was tug on a pair of black breeches and dash out into the night, rapier at the ready.
"Yes, what are we doing tonight?" demanded Ned Tholmondelay, ambling over to the cozy grouping of chairs. "Dorrington over there was telling me the outdoor exercises ain't on. Some mistake, I'm sure."
"Deuced silly notion!" agreed Fred Tholmondelay, strolling over to join his twin.
"Dorrington was right," affirmed Richard.
"You needn't sound like that's such an unusual state of affairs," commented Miles, deserting his casual pose against the fireplace to join them. He positioned himself next to Richard, nodding awkwardly in the general direction of the ladies. Henrietta caught herself trying to catch his eye and made herself stop.
"What's wrong with Miles?" whispered Amy. "He's been behaving oddly all day."
Henrietta shrugged weakly.
Fortunately, Amy had no chance to enquire further.
"You're funning, aren't you, Selwick? Bit of a joke, eh?" urged Fred.
"Richard never jokes about spies," chimed in Amy.
"That's the devil of a shame!" Ned looked crestfallen. "There's a splendid one about a French agent and a Prussian general who go into a tavern, and — "
"Maybe later," broke in Henrietta, as her brother's color went from puce to purple, trying to soften her words with an encouraging smile. Ned beamed back at her. "I don't think this is quite the time."
"May I impress upon everyone that this is a war, not a parlor game?" Richard enquired tightly.
"You can try, but whether you'll succeed is another matter, old chap," muttered Miles, eyeing Ned without favor.
Richard ignored him, clearing his throat with enough force to create a minor gale in Gloucestershire.
"Since we're all here, we might as well get this over with. An operative — "
"We don't know — " began Miles.
"An intruder believed to be an operative," Richard corrected himself, with a pointed look at Miles, "was sighted on the grounds last night. In disguise," he added, before Miles could interrupt again.
"What great luck!" exclaimed Ned Tholmondelay. "Great luck?" echoed Miss Grey frigidly.
"Who would have thought!" continued Ned eagerly. "Our very own spy! And we didn't even have to go over to France for him. I say, Selwick, this is smashing."
His twin nodded thoughtfully. "Deuced convenient, that's what it is. Like a fox running to the dog!" He paused, much taken by the beauty of his own metaphor.
"By Jove, Fred!" breathed Ned. "You've got it! We'll get up a hunt and run the spy to ground!"
"Blowing a horn, no doubt," said the much-put-upon Purple Gentian acidly, "with dogs in full cry."
Ned beamed, delighted at being so well understood. "That's the ticket!"
"We," snapped Richard, "will do nothing of the kind."
"The object is not to scare off the spy," Henrietta explained helpfully.
"Thank you, Hen," bit off Richard. "I am sure we are all excessively edified by that statement."
"He really is cranky tonight, isn't he?" hissed Richard's sister to Richard's wife.
"Poor dear, he just wants to be off chasing spies," Amy whispered back.
"Would you two be quiet for a moment?" snapped Richard.
The two women exchanged looks of mutual sympathy and understanding.
Ned, momentarily taken aback, was rapidly recovering. "Ah," he said, "I understand. This is another test, ain't it? And we'll all go off on our own and see who can get the spy back first. We'll use that… that sneaking-up-on-people trick you taught us earlier today." He turned to his twin. "Bet you ten guineas I get to the spy first!"
"This is not a test. This is not a game. This is a damned nuisance." Richard took a deep breath, battling for patience.
"Look," broke in Miles, coming to the aid of his beleaguered best friend. "If the spy finds out about the school, that's it for all of us. Old Boney will have our names in the next dispatch."
Fred thought deeply. "But if we catch the spy," he said in the portentous tones of one explicating a complicated theorem, "he won't be able to send our names."
"Ah!" exclaimed Ned admiringly.
"Urgh," said Richard.
Amy came to his rescue, sliding her arm through her husband's.
"I know the loss of tonight's entertainment is a grave disappointment, but we must think of it as merely one more slight to be avenged against that murderous regime," she declaimed earnestly.
Much moved by her words, Ned Tholmondelay burst into a heartfelt round of "Rule Britannia." Miss Grey cut him off just after Britain ruled the waves, but before Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.
"I would not," she said, in her musty voice, "contrive to put myself forwards, but it appears to me that inquiries might be made which might minimize the threat posed by this person of inimical tendencies."
"Hunh?" said Ned Tholmondelay.
"I believe she means did he ask anyone about that spy chappy," explained his more perspicacious brother.
Ned nodded, impressed. Fred had always been the brain of the family.
Henrietta stifled a chuckle, and looked automatically at Miles, whose lips were twitching with repressed amusement. Their eyes met in a glint of shared humor before Miles abruptly stiffened and looked away.
Shaken, Henrietta redirected her attention to Miss Grey, who was inexorably listing places at which Richard might have made inquiries — local inns where a stranger might have been noted, neighboring houses that might be hosting house parties, coaching inns for reports of travelers, and on and on and on. Listening to her litany was like fighting an avalanche of treacle; everyone's eyes glazed. Henrietta could only imagine what lessons with her must have been like, and felt relieved for Miss Grey's recently liberated charges.
"I have made inquiries wherever inquiries could be made," snapped Richard, breaking off the relentless assault of words. "There have been no strangers at the nearest inns and no unfamiliar equipages sighted in the vicinity."
"That's the problem with phantoms," commented Miles to no one in particular.
"There is not," replied Richard repressively, "a Phantom Monk."
"That's not what he said when I was five," whispered Henrietta to Amy.
"Have you asked — " began Mrs. Cathcart.
"Yes!" ground out Richard.
"I was going to ask," said Mrs. Cathcart calmly, "whether you had asked for more tea to be brought to us. If we do have a French spy peering through the windowpanes, the tea tray will lend a convincing air of normalcy."
Poised for argument, Richard just gaped at her. Amy squeezed her hand. "Mrs. Cathcart, you are an angel."
"A rather earthbound one," chuckled Mrs. Cathcart comfortably.
&nb
sp; "What are we to do to pass the time?"
"I," put in Miles hopefully, "could go out and check on the sentries."
"Oh, no, you don't," said Richard darkly. "You're staying right here with the rest of us."
"But — "
"Right here," repeated Richard repressively.
"I have an idea," broke in Henrietta, trying not to refine too much on Miles's eagerness to leave. "What about charades? That way we could give the appearance of a normal party" — she stressed the word "normal" for the benefit of her agitated brother — "while practicing our impersonations."
"Capital idea!" exclaimed Fred Tholmondelay, looking at Henrietta with newfound respect.
"And a French spy won't find this the least bit suspicious?" countered Miles, glowering at Fred.
"Not unless he's in the room with us to hear the characters called out," protested Henrietta. "Surely all he'd see through the window would be a room full of people playing charades."
"What if…" Ned drew a deep breath, gazing around the assemblage in stunned horror. "What if the spy is in This Very Room?"
"Trust me," broke in Richard drily. "I explored that eventuality."
The words cast a pall over the assemblage. Confusion warred with indignation on Ned's freckled face.
"And well you should," put in Mrs. Cathcart peaceably. "You really can't be too careful in such matters, can you, my dear?"
"We have to appear normal," stressed Richard. "Normal. That means no practicing French dialect, no impromptu attempts at wall-climbing, and absolutely no midnight hunts." Richard looked very sharply at Fred Tholmondelay as he said that, failing to realize he was wasting his admonitory looks on the wrong brother.
"One of you young ladies must be musical," put in Mrs. Cathcart with a comfortable smile. "I am sure we could all do with a song to soothe our agitated spirits."
"Perfect!" exclaimed Amy. "Henrietta can sing. What could be more" — she smiled at her husband, who was glancing anxiously out the window at the dark grounds — "normal?"
"I'm not really in voice," Henrietta hedged.
"Don't be silly," chided Amy, who wasn't in the least bit musical. "Your voice sounds just fine to me."
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