Emma noticed that Dorrie was trying not to tease her. “I’m serious. I don’t know what men like to talk about on dates. What if I say the wrong thing?”
“If you say the wrong thing then he’s not the man for you.” Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she added, “I don’t think you have a thing to worry about. Don’t forget, you already are friends. He already knows you are sweet and kind.”
Sweet and kind didn’t necessarily sum up the person she wanted him to think she was. “I hope it’s that easy.”
“It will be if you allow it to be. Don’t make good things difficult, dear. We all have enough troubles, you don’t need to go borrowing them.”
“You might be right about that.”
“I know I am.” Shifting, she rested one of her hands on Emma’s lemon-and-blue log-cabin quilt. “Now, how is your family taking it?”
“They don’t know. I only asked my parents to watch the girls for a few hours this evening.”
“They’re going to be here when Jay comes over?”
“Oh, nee! I asked if I could bring the girls over to their haus.”
Dorrie tilted her head. “And they agreed without asking the reason why?”
“I’m sure they’ll ask.” Thinking of how difficult navigating that conversation was going to be, she murmured, “I’m sure they’re going to ask a lot of questions.”
“They are. And I know you won’t like me sayin’ this, but they’re going to try to convince you that you’re doing the wrong thing.”
“They may be right.”
“They aren’t, Emma. Even if you and Jay Hilty realize that the Lord only wants you two to be friends and nothing more, it is important that you take this first step. You need to open your heart to the possibility that you could find love again. And what’s more, Sanford would want you to.”
“Do ya really think so?” Emma wanted to imagine that Sanford would be happy for her, but she just wasn’t sure. She sighed. “I’ve tried to imagine what he would say if I told him that I was doing this.”
“I know what he would say, and I think you know, too.”
“And what is that?”
“That it is about time you allowed a man to take you to dinner.” She wagged a finger. “It’s been three years, Emma. Three years is a long time to be alone.”
It had been. “Our families are going to worry about me.”
“I am sure they will.” She pursed her lips, then added, “Forgive me, but I think they are also worrying about themselves.”
Dorrie had lost her. “That makes no sense.”
“Of course it does. Change is hard, Emma. If you move on, that means they’ll have to move on, too. They’ve already had to adjust to Sanford leaving this earth so quickly. They’re going to fight tooth and nail if you make them adjust to something else.”
She was starting to think that Dorrie made a good point. Emma’s parents had told her that they would be happy to take care of her and the girls for the rest of their lives. At first, she’d been so grief-stricken that she’d clung to their promise and hadn’t dared to think that anything could possibly be different. But now, with the girls all in school and her having more time on her hands, she’d started to feel that she needed something more than they could give her.
Of course, until Frankie had found Jay and his boys, no other man had made her even contemplate falling in love again.
“Change is hard.”
“Jah. But change is a part of life. We grow older in spite of our best intentions. And with that age, it’s best to become wiser, too.”
Emma nodded. “Danke, Dorrie. I knew going to find you was the right thing to do.”
“See, you’re already getting wiser!”
“And you are getting prideful,” she teased. “Thank you for your help.”
“It was nothing.” Standing up, she pointed to the tangerine dress lying on the quilt. “Wear the dress and take the girls to your parents early so that whatever they tell you can roll off your shoulders before Jay comes over.”
“I’ll do that,” she promised, though she didn’t think her parents’ criticisms were going to roll off her shoulders at all. No, they were going to remain firmly settled there like a twenty-pound flour sack.
Heavy and burdensome.
Chapter 20
As Jay drummed his fingers on the hard plastic seat of the SCAT shuttle, he couldn’t help but reflect on the path the Lord had shown him. Here he was, sitting beside his eldest son near their new home, on the coast of Florida. Furthermore, they were both on their way to go courting. Courting by his son’s side!
Jay had never pictured that happening. Ever.
As the shuttle made its way through the streets of Sarasota and people got off and on, he glanced out the window and tried to tell himself that he had no reason to be nervous. He was a grown man. He’d survived all kinds of things, from Evelyn passing away to all three boys having chicken pox together to Mark breaking his arm when he was thirteen.
He could take a woman out on a date.
“You okay, Daed?” Ben asked.
“I’m fine. Why?”
“No reason.” Smiling he added, “Well, no reason besides the fact that your right hand is gripping the rail like we’re on a roller coaster and you’re about to fall off. And your left hand has been tapping the edge of your seat. Loudly.”
Immediately, Jay clasped his hands in his lap. Ben had been right, he’d been holding on for dear life, in the metaphorical sense. “I guess I’m a little nervous,” he admitted.
“You’ll be fine, I promise. Emma likes you. I saw the way she was looking at you the other night.”
There was no way he was going to ever admit how happy Ben’s words about Emma liking him had made him. “It’s just a walk and supper. We’ve shared several meals together now.”
“That you have. You’re going to be fine.”
“And if we realize we don’t suit, that’s not gonna be a problem.” Best to keep expectations low and all.
“It won’t be a problem. You will suit each other fine. You already suit each other fine.”
“Maybe you are right.”
“I know I’m right. All of us have noticed that there’s something special happening between you and Emma Keim.”
“All of us? You mean you and Mark?”
“And William. And Tricia. And I think, even Lena.” Grinning, Ben stretched his hands out in front of him. “We’re all counting the minutes until both of you know it, too.”
“Great.”
Discovering that Emma and he did suit each other well was actually what he was most afraid of. If that happened, he’d have to think about another date. And then, maybe even a future. And what then? It was one thing for their kinner to be all right with him taking Emma out every now and then, but surely their children would react differently if they thought things were about to change drastically.
Would Emma’s little girls ever be okay with the idea of sharing their mother?
Suddenly, his collar was way too tight. He pulled on the fabric around his neck. It didn’t stretch a millimeter, of course, but the action did somehow make him breathe a little easier.
Ben noticed. “Daed, quit worrying so much.”
“Do you think William was being truthful when he said he didn’t mind me doing this?”
“I do.”
“Really? Because his acceptance kind of took me off guard, if you want to know the truth.”
“Really, Daed. I’m sure. William is not upset.”
“Wait a minute. How come you sound so sure about this?” For the first time Ben looked a bit hesitant. “Ben, what do you know that I don’t?”
“Nothing. It’s just that I know William misses having a mother.” He swallowed. “We all do, of course. But me and Mark had Mamm for a lot longer than he did. Plus, William is kind of sensitive. He needs a woman’s ear from time to time.”
Jay thought about that and realized his son was exactly right. For the l
ast few years now, Jay hadn’t been giving Will as much attention and care as the young boy needed. First he’d been looking after Evelyn, then mourning her passing. Then had come all the planning and preparation for their big move to Sarasota, and lately Jay had needed to spend every waking hour getting the farm up and running. Besides all that, there were the simple chores of everyday life that took up so much time: laundry and grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning. That left little quality time for him to spend with his boys. But while Mark had taken it in stride because that was his nature, and Ben was more than ready to be an adult, little William had been floundering.
“Maybe I should be spending more time with Will instead of with Emma.”
“Daed, not to be mean or anything, but Will don’t need more of you. He needs a mother.”
“Maybe if I go courting, I should be looking for a woman who doesn’t already have a bunch of kinner.” Not that he had ever even looked at another woman twice before he’d met Emma.
“Daed, William likes Emma. He likes going to her haus every afternoon.” Flashing a smile, he added, “He likes all of those little girls, too. We all do.”
The comment reminded him of just how cute those girls were. And so different from William, Mark, and Ben! “Little girls are sure silly.”
Ben smiled. “Yep. And they squeal.”
“And cry easily, I’m learning.”
“But that Annie is so cute, Daed. The other day she wanted to hold my hand. And when we said good-bye, she asked for a hug.”
“They’re sweet girls, for sure. No matter what happens with Emma and me, I am glad that we’ve gotten to know them.”
Ben looked at him in appreciation. “Gut for you, Daed. You are ready at last.” Chuckling he added, “And it’s a gut thing, too.”
“Why is that?”
Ben stood up as the SCAT bus stopped with a small jerk and quiet squeak of brakes. “Because we’re here,” he said before he led the way out.
As Jay hurried to catch up with his boy, he had a feeling he was behind him in more ways than one.
WHEN HE WAS ALMOST at Emma’s doorstep five minutes later, Jay paused and closed his eyes. Lord, help me have the strength to follow my heart, he prayed silently. Help me not let doubts and worries overtake a glad and hopeful heart.
Figuring that was good enough—and since the Lord was probably about to send out a swarm of bees to hurry him along—Jay knocked on Emma’s door. When she opened it, he was struck by two things: one, her bright orange dress made her lightly tanned skin look even prettier than ever and her eyes look even bluer than they usually did.
And two, she’d been crying.
“Emma, what’s wrong?” he asked, walking right in and shutting the door behind him.
She bit her bottom lip. Obviously, she was trying to keep it from trembling. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s obviously something. What is it?”
“When I dropped off the girls at my parents’ haus, they worried that I was encouraging the girls to forget their father.”
“That couldn’t be further from the truth. Seeing someone new doesn’t erase the past.”
“I agree.” She bit her lip. “When I tried to explain that I needed to do something for myself, they ignored me.”
He couldn’t imagine how anyone could ever find fault with the way Emma conducted herself or raised her daughters. He couldn’t name a woman who led a more Christian life. “I’m sorry, Emma.”
“Jah. Me, too.” She swiped at a tear. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to see me like this.”
Jay knew some men would have had all the right words for her. But all he could think of doing at the moment was holding her in his arms. “Come here,” he murmured as he gathered her close. When she slowly wrapped her arms around his waist, and then, with a quiet sigh rested her head on his shoulder, he knew he hadn’t felt anything so special in a very long time.
When her tears finally subsided, she pulled away. “Oh, I bet I look even worse!”
He thought she looked very sweet. “Nope. You still look pretty.”
“Really? Because my skin gets all splotchy when I cry.”
To be honest, her skin was splotchy. But that didn’t bother him any. He liked the fact that she’d leaned on him for comfort. In fact, there was little about her that he didn’t find enchanting at the moment.
“Do you want to talk about things or go?”
She looked at him in wonder. “I didn’t ruin everything? You still want to go?”
“Of course. And I’m not letting you back out, either. We both have waited quite some time to go out to supper. We’re not going to let a couple of grumpy parents derail our plans.”
Her lips twitched. “They weren’t exactly grumpy. More like mighty determined to get me to see things their way.”
“I can be mighty determined, too, Emma,” he said, realizing that all of the doubts he’d shared with Ben had vanished the moment she’d shared her worries. “Go wash up and let’s go.”
After looking at him a good long moment, she nodded and walked to the washroom.
He sat down on the couch next to Frankie, who was reclining with two feet stretched out in front of him. “Beagle, you are a couch-hog. Move over.” Frankie yawned, gave him a small look of disgruntlement, then curled into a beagle ball.
“I’m ready.” She led the way outside, a tentative smile on her lips. She was happy again. And he’d helped her get there.
“Gut. Let’s go then.”
Ben had been right. They did suit. They suited each other well. Very well, indeed.
“DO YOU FEEL DIFFERENT, now that you are an engaged woman?” Ben asked.
Tricia was cuddled against her fiancé’s side in front of the fire pit on the inn’s back patio. They’d been sitting that way for the last hour and Tricia hoped she’d never have to leave. It was so rare for them to have any time completely alone.
Tricia thought about Ben’s question before replying. “I suppose I feel a little different,” she said at last. “I know I feel happier than I can ever remember being. I think I feel a little bit more grown-up, too.” She was now thinking about her future by Ben’s side. She’d gone from being centered on herself to focusing on Ben’s needs. Instead of making plans with only her wants in mind, they were dreaming about their future as a married couple.
“Our meeting today with the preacher went well,” Ben said.
“I agree. Though Eli has seen us together at church a couple of times, I thought he might try to convince us to break the engagement. Or, at the very least, postpone things.”
Ben grunted. “I would have been really upset if he had asked us to break up.”
“Me, too.” Stretching her bare foot toward the fire, she added, “Instead, he simply wants us to pray about our future.”
“And to be open to the possibility of talking more with him about our relationship.”
“That wasn’t a difficult thing to promise,” Tricia decided. “I want to talk to you about marriage and your goals.”
He squeezed her shoulder. “Only my goals?”
“Well, my goals, too. And all my questions.”
“Sounds like you’ve got lots of them.”
Tricia heard the amusement in his tone and she supposed she didn’t blame him. She did sound a little anxious. “I do have questions, but what I am most concerned about is making sure we’re secure in our faith and our future together. Especially since we’re going to say our vows near the end of October.”
Especially that. Because nothing was going to prevent her from following through with those plans. She didn’t care if they had no decorations, no fancy luncheon, nothing but time to pray and make promises to each other. She wanted to be Ben’s wife in a month’s time.
“We will be,” he promised. “By the time we say our vows, neither of us will have a bit of doubt that we’ve made the right decision.”
Hearing him say the same things she was thinking made her relax and cuddle a
bit closer.
“So, are you nervous about your family arriving on the bus on Saturday?”
“Jah, but not as nervous as I thought I’d be.” When he merely looked at her and smiled, she added, “Ben, I realized that I have started worrying less about what will make them happy and more about what will make me happy.” Looking into his blue eyes, she said, “You make me really happy.”
“Gut,” he said simply.
Another moment passed as they gazed at the dancing flames before he added, “I’m happy, too. I have a new sense of purpose and something to look forward to. I knew proposing to you and planning a wedding would make me happy, but I kind of didn’t expect to feel so free.” He shook his head. “I would have never imagined that tying myself to another person would make me feel lighter. It’s like all my burdens about the future have been lifted.”
Tricia knew exactly what he meant. Now that she’d found the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, she felt like a tremendous weight had been taken off her shoulders. In its place was a sense of security stronger than anything she’d ever known.
“After Beverly told me they were coming, I went down to the kitchen and called my mamm.”
He chuckled. “And?”
“And after she quit asking me if I’d lost my mind and started listening, she told me about a cartoon she’d once seen,” Tricia said. “It had a picture of a perfectly straight arrow and beneath it said, ‘our plan.’ Then, right below it was another arrow that was twisted and full of bumps and valleys. That caption said, ‘God’s plan.’”
He grinned. “I like that. It’s fitting. As much as we might want things to go the way we think they ought to, the reality is that the future is out of our hands.”
“I thought it was fitting, too. And at first, I only compared the differences between the two lines, but then Mamm pointed out where they ended . . . at the same place.” She paused. “I think she was trying to remind me that life is full of hills and valleys and twists and turns. But in the end, the Lord wants us to achieve our dreams. He wants us to be happy.”
Ben nodded. After a moment, he said, “I can’t tell you how hard it was to watch my mother get weaker. I hated to see her suffer. I prayed with everything I had that she would get stronger and recover. Get healed by a miracle. But it was God’s wish that she go up to heaven early.”
A Wedding at the Orange Blossom Inn Page 16