He shot an amused look in my direction. “Didn’t say you were.”
“But what do they do with all that information?” I asked in confusion.
“I have no idea, but it seems harmless.”
I gave him a doubtful look. “They’re benefiting from this somehow. And I think there’s more to it than they are telling us.”
Grayson stopped the car at the exit to the parking garage and turned to me. “Anytime you want to stop or you don’t feel comfortable, you just let me know. I’ll take you home immediately and make sure you don’t have to come back.” His dark eyes shown with determination and I believed every word he said. The truth of his words echoed through my bones. Grayson was willing to stand up for me. A warm feeling filled me at how fiercely protective of me he already was. He was the complete opposite of every male in my former pack.
I nodded and gave Grayson an appreciative smile. He turned his attention back to the road, but my eyes were stuck on him. I tried not to be too obvious as I took in how his jeans were snug against his thighs, how his t-shirt clung to his muscular form, how his stubble shadowed his jawline, but he caught me staring and raised an eyebrow.
“Just thinking,” I said as I sat back in the seat and hoped the darkness hid my red face.
Grayson grunted but didn’t answer, so I guess we were done with deep conversations for now.
Chapter 13
Lori
Grayson and I were quiet on the way back to the house until my tummy growled loudly, announcing that I had skipped dinner. Grayson looked over at me with a smile. "Kannon probably has something waiting for us."
"Awesome,” I said tiredly. Kannon had cooked breakfast again this morning and sent me to work with a bagged lunch, so I’d already eaten more than I was used to in a day. I was drained from everything that had happened the last couple days and just wanted to go to bed. I hadn’t been able to get much sleep during the first night in the firehouse because I was just too nervous. I had spent most of the night huddled in my blanket and jumping at every new sound.
"You need to keep up your strength," Grayson said softly. "You've been through a lot."
I shrugged, embarrassed that he was bringing it up. "I'm okay as long as I don't think about it. I just have to keep myself distracted."
Grayson frowned. "That won't work forever, you're going to have to deal with it eventually."
"Eventually, but not today." I rubbed the tops of my thighs in agitation. "All of my emotions are just too overwhelming for me to handle right now." Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes and I angrily brushed them away. Guilt flooded through me when I tried to stuff my emotions down. Was I dishonoring my mom's memory by being a coward? She had given up everything for me, and I wasn't even willing to spare her a thought. I put my head in my hands as guilt, shame, grief, and self-hatred warred within me.
I took a deep breath and tried to think happy thoughts. I could feel the weight of Grayson's eyes on me but refused to look in his direction. He pulled into the parking lot and I didn't even wait for the car to come to a complete stop before I unbuckled my seat belt and reached for the door handle. I just needed to get out of this stuffy little box and get some air.
I took a deep breath, but the humid August air didn't give me any relief. Grayson wasn't far behind me as I trudged in through the doorway. The kitchen was dark and empty, so the other guys must have already eaten. I definitely wasn’t interested in dinner if I was going to have to cook it myself. Grayson went over to the fridge to look for leftovers, but I hesitated. Would it be rude to leave Grayson to eat alone?
The door to the garage burst open with a crash and Kannon came into the kitchen with a grin. "Lori! I saved you some dinner."
"What about my dinner?" Grayson grumbled.
Kannon waved him away from the fridge and started pulling out dishes. "You, too."
"I can help," I offered.
Kannon nudged me to the table. "No, just have a seat. I'll have it ready in a few minutes." Delicious smells permeated the air as Kannon busied himself at the stove.
"Is that steak?" I asked as my mouth watered. Steak had been a treat that only the males in my pack would get. Because why waste the good stuff on a female?
"Yup," Kannon confirmed. "I can make you the perfect steak, nice and juicy."
"How's the painting coming along?" Grayson asked. Kannon and Grayson talked about the progress they were making in the shop while I craned my head to get a peek at the deliciousness that would soon be coming my way.
Kannon plated the steaks and handed one to Grayson and one to me. “Do you want some?” I asked him as I licked my lips.
Kannon chuckled. “Nah, I ate with Corey and Wyatt.”
I grunted in reply and sliced into my steak. Kannon hadn’t been exaggerating – it was perfectly pink and juicy. I brought the first bite up to my lips and savored it. “Kannon, this is amazing,” I groaned.
Kannon blushed and looked pleased. Grayson paused to give me an odd look, but he didn’t say anything so I ignored him and focused on my steak. I heard footsteps on the metal stairs and glanced up to see Wyatt entering the room. He had clearly just showered because his hair was still damp. His t-shirt clung to his upper body, showcasing a very fit physique. These guys must spend a lot of time working out to look that hot. I tore my eyes away before anyone caught me staring.
“Can I talk to Lori?” Wyatt asked quietly.
Grayson shrugged and picked up his plate to carry it with him. Kannon looked like he wanted to object, but closed his mouth after a sharp glance from Grayson.
“That’s fine. I’m going to get a shower.” Grayson looked over at me. “Would you mind waiting twenty minutes or so before coming up, Lori?”
I nodded and blushed. Sharing the open bathroom was going to be a challenge. I don’t think any of us would be comfortable with me walking in on them or vice versa. Wyatt waited until Grayson and Kannon had disappeared up the stairs before taking a seat at the table. I kept enjoying my steak while I waited for him to speak. There was no way I was going to let this piece of heaven get cold.
“Lori, I wanted to talk to you about the conversation that you must have overheard. The one that made you run.”
I looked at him suspiciously. “Okay.” I was going to let him take the lead on this. I wasn’t sure if he knew that I had only heard a tiny part of it. Maybe I would get lucky and he would recap the entire conversation for me.
Wyatt rubbed his hand through his damp hair, causing it to stick up everywhere. I cocked my head at him as I took another bite. It looked like uptight Wyatt was coming unwound a bit.
“I like to examine a situation from all perspectives,” he started. “In business, you need to look at all the options in terms of costs and benefits. Even if you don’t plan on following through with an option, you still include it in your analysis.”
“Uh, huh,” I said doubtfully. “So, I’m a business option?”
“No,” Wyatt said in frustration. “But we needed to look at all of the costs and benefits of having you here. We needed to make a rational decision about what was best for our group.”
I cut another bite of steak. “And?” I asked before bringing it to my mouth.
“And you have to realize that staying here with us isn’t your best option. You’re a pretty wolf who could probably get into any pack you choose.”
“I don’t want to just walk back into a situation exactly like the one I just left,” I said with a scowl. “I want to stay here because you guys are different.”
Wyatt nodded. “But what happens when you’re ready to go to college? There aren’t any schools around here. What happens when you get tired of being in a tiny little town in the middle of nowhere? What happens when another pack makes you an offer to give you everything you’ve always wanted?”
I snorted. “That’s not going to happen.”
“It is,” Wyatt said quietly. “And when you get that offer, you can leave us here to rot or you can bring us
with you. The other guys haven’t realized yet that this isn’t going to work for us long term. Either the university is going to ask us for something we aren’t willing to give, or they’re going to turn on us. I’m looking out for the future, preparing for that day.”
I stared at him. “You accepted me into your pack hoping I’d get you into another pack?”
Wyatt sighed. “Cost versus benefit. Right now, you’re getting all the benefits and we are left shouldering the costs.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “And what benefits were you expecting to get?”
Wyatt’s face turned red. “Not like that, you’re just a kid.”
“A kid?” I huffed. “I’m eighteen.”
Wyatt rolled his eyes. “You’re a high school kid with an air of innocence about you.”
“Innocence?” I spluttered. “You have no idea what I’ve been through.”
“Are you willing to talk about what you’ve been through?” The softness in Wyatt’s eyes surprised me, but I had already been cornered by Grayson earlier tonight and wasn’t ready to expose myself like that to any of them.
I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms.
“No?” he asked with a knowing look. “We’ll get you in high school but you should think about the advantages a larger pack could give you.”
“You mean give you?” I asked defiantly.
“Give all of us,” he answered. “We never wanted to live in the middle of nowhere, to give up everything we love. We’re here because we have to be, because we have no other choice. But you have a lot of choices.” Wyatt sounded bitter with that last statement.
I lowered my head and played with the scraps left on my plate. “I don’t want to go back to a pack like that. You don’t know the things….”
“There are good packs out there,” Wyatt said encouragingly. “We had a good pack at one point.”
“That’s the risk though,” I replied. “There are always going to be bigger and meaner wolves out there ready to take everything away from you.”
“Have hope,” Wyatt urged me.
“I don’t know if I can,” I said quietly. I’d been hoping that I could escape from everything in this quiet little town. That I could make a new life here with these wolves. Be a part of a pack that meant something.
But was I just fooling myself? It seemed like everyone wanted something from me. The university wanted a lab rat. Wyatt wanted to use me as a ticket to a better life. Kannon wanted a mate. I wasn’t sure about Grayson, but Corey just wanted me gone.
What did I want?
Chapter 14
Lori
My paws sank into the damp ground as I tried to see through the thick mist that enshrouded the forest. The humid air was so thick I felt like I should be able to take a bite out of it. I looked up at the sky to try and get my bearings but I couldn’t even tell what time of day it was. The mist was too thick for me to see more than a few feet in front of me.
I cautiously inched forward as trepidation filled me. I could feel someone watching me, someone with malevolent intent. My fur stood on end and the space between my shoulder blades itched, as if expecting a knife at any moment. I slowly moved in a circle, trying to see through the mist to where my enemy might be lurking. All that was visible to me were the trunks of the dark trees and the fallen leaves beneath my feet.
A wave of pure evil crashed into me and I just knew something terrible was coming for me. Terror flooded through my body and I bolted. I stretched my body out in a full run, but before I made it even a few feet I crashed into a tree. The rough bark scraped against me and my momentum spun me around so I couldn’t tell which way I had even been heading.
I stumbled off in a random direction, hoping it would take me out of danger and not further toward it. I moved as quickly as I could while being cautious of trees and other obstacles that were hidden in the mist. I wouldn’t get very far if I kept running into things. Fear had a firm grip on my heart and I trembled a little with every cautious step. It took everything I had not to take off in a run again.
The mist started to thin out and I picked up my pace. I could still feel the weight of someone’s gaze on me, but I was hoping that I had just found the way out of the forest. I realized my mistake when I trotted into a clearing. The grassy area itself was free of the thick mist, but it was still surrounded on all sides. I saw several people lying motionless and crept towards them slowly. I wasn’t ready to run back into the forest just yet.
The man I was closest to started to sit up and I backed away in horror. His face was a ruined mess of blood and flesh from where my mom had shot him, but it was clearly Robert. He got to his feet and I almost vomited at the sight of his brain matter leaking out of the back of his shattered skull. Impossibly, his mouth stretched into a smile. “Lori, you can’t escape what you’ve done.”
I turned and tried to run back to the forest. Anything was better than being at Robert’s mercy. I made it to the edge of the trees, but the mist had turned into a jelly like substance that held me fast, no matter how hard I struggled against it. Panic and terror rose inside me the closer that Robert got. “You’re going to regret the day you were born, little wolf,” he threatened me. His eyes were dark with hate and he clenched his fists in the promise of violence.
“Shift,” he ordered. I fought the command but my body obeyed him and not me. The power of an alpha was too much for me to resist. I felt my body shift into my human form, naked and vulnerable. “That’s more like it,” he said with pleasure as he ran his eyes over my body. “I had so many plans for you.” He flashed a menacing grin at me that promised all kinds of pain.
“Lori…” I heard a weak female voice call to me. To my horror, I saw my mom sitting up on the other side of the clearing, her neck covered in blood. “Lori, I thought we were going to escape together,” she cried out. “Why would you leave me?” Her voice was filled with pain and sorrow.
Robert gave an evil smile. “Your torture begins now.” He stalked back to my mom, leaving me trapped in the jelly-like substance.
My mom seemed oblivious to his presence, she was just staring at me with anguish in her eyes. “Mom, run!” I screamed as Robert leaned down to grasp her by the throat. She started choking as he raised her up and shoved her against a tree.
I struggled desperately to get free but the jelly was now hardening into cement and I couldn’t move anything but my head. I screamed and begged for him to stop as he strangled the life from my mother. She clawed frantically at his hands, but kept her eyes on me the entire time, begging me to save her.
Something broke inside of me when I had to watch my mom die for the second time. I stopped struggling once the life had bled out of her eyes and just resigned myself to my fate. I closed my eyes and let the darkness consume me.
***
I woke up again for the fourth time tonight in a cold sweat. I had woken up when the other guys had first come into the room, and then for a bunch of unidentifiable reasons. I wasn’t used to sleeping in the same room with other people and all of my senses were still on high alert after living in the wilderness for so long. I was jumpy because of all of the unfamiliar sounds and shadows in the cavernous room that our beds were lined up in.
I held still and listened, my heart still beating fast from the nightmare I had just woken from. But the guys were all sleeping quietly in their beds, their breathing even and slow so there was nothing to indicate danger. I knew that the dream wasn’t real, that it was my lingering feelings of guilt and grief that had shaped the nightmare. But that didn’t stop my heart from hurting.
I rolled over onto my side and closed my eyes, trying to go back to sleep. I had this weird feeling of apprehension, but I wasn’t sure if it was just lingering nerves from everything I had been through. Even though I was inside and safe, surrounded by my new pack, something just felt off. After a couple minutes I gave up on the idea of sleep and sat up. I was kind of thirsty, so maybe a glass of water would help calm my nerves.
<
br /> I crept quietly through the room, trying not to wake any of the others. There was no reason to involve them in my insomnia. The metal rungs of the staircase gave a soft ringing with each of my light footsteps, but it wasn’t loud enough to carry back to the bedroom. I glided through the darkness and into the kitchen in the search for my water. I had to open almost all the cupboards until I finally found the one where they kept a mismatched collection of mugs and glasses.
I selected a tall blue glass and rinsed it out before filling it halfway with water from the tap. A clanging sound from the garage made me set the glass down before I had even taken a sip. All of the guys were asleep upstairs so something must have fallen.
I sighed and headed for the garage. I might as well make myself useful since I couldn’t sleep. I unlocked the door and had to give it a sharp yank to get it open. My jaw dropped in surprise when I saw a large figure huddled over the workbench with a flashlight in hand.
“Hey!” I shouted angrily as I flipped on the lights. Gus, the other mechanic in town, stood in front of me with a wrench in one hand and a flashlight in the other. He had a bag at his feet which looked like he had already helped himself to some of the guys’ tools.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I demanded. It was pretty obvious what he was doing, but I was interested to hear just what story he was going to come up with to explain this.
Gus sneered at me, his eyes trained on my chest instead of my eyes. “Which one of them are you sleeping with?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. I didn’t like the way he was looking at me, and I certainly didn’t like the way he was speaking to me. I balled my fists at my side and refused to cross my arms in front of my chest to hide. I was wearing one of Kannon’s baggy shirts, so there was no way he could see anything.
New Beginnings: Hollow Crest Wolf Pack Book 1 Page 12