by SJ Molloy
So many things run through my mind. It is not what I was expecting to hear, but I can work with it. I can show her, teach her how to feel just like my papa said I should with the right woman. In turn, she would see life differently … or at least I hope she will. I have a chance to help her live a little … as long as I get to do it with her, then I do not care how challenging or hard it will be.
I vow to myself right here, right now with her leaning against my chest, that I will be as patient and considerate as she needs. I will wait for her to come around … fuck if it is the last thing I do but I will never give up on her.
She needs someone to love her and take care of her, and if I did not want to do all that before, I most definitely do now. With every beat of my heart. I have never been so sure or passionate about caring for someone in my life.
I need Lexi in my life, and if I need to make her feel, I will do what every other Caruso man before me has done. I will go to the ends of the fucking earth to make her feel. Giving her a demonstration of how to feel, I touch her cheek, arm, then kiss her head. Resting her hand over my heart, I ask if she feels it. I know she can feel my heartbeat because it is so strong and powerful and racing faster than a fucking steam engine right now.
The light-hearted giggle that escapes her lips is simply fucking beautiful and sounds perfect. Cute. When she lifts herself off of my chest, she takes a sip of wine as I do. She is more relaxed already.
When she tells me not to confuse that moment we shared, a cocky smile ghosts my lips as I expected her to withdraw and push me away. She is going to be a hard conker to crack. Placing my finger on her lips to hush her, I seize the moment.
“Yeah, I got that part, but it is time that was changed. You deserve a whole lot more than you allow yourself to have, to feel, to experience, and I most certainly am not confused, Lexi. Anything but. I know exactly how I felt just then. I have never been more certain of anything in my life. But do you know how you felt?”
I do not expect her to answer. She blushes and wiggles her fingers in front of her lips again. That is enough to tell me she felt it too. Of course she changes the subject, but I am happy to if it makes her feel at ease and lets me get to know her a little better.
Finding out her stay here is for three weeks has just changed my diary considerably for the next month. Marco and Suzanne are going to be pissed off and have a lot of rescheduling to do. It is non-negotiable.
I am making this girl my priority and everything else can get put on hold for now. My goal is making her feel and giving her all of me. I have never been reckless in making business decisions, and I am not about to start now, but I will need to be smart and one step ahead. I can work from here and spend as much time with Lexi as I can. She deserves some attention. She deserves my attention.
It pleases me that she finally eats some of the bread, but it pisses me off when she continually puts herself down. I wipe under her eyes and gently sweep hair away from her face.
“Jesus, Doc, breathe,” I say when I realise she is holding her breath. She apologises again, which I notice she seems to do a lot, then gulps her wine. I need to lift her spirits again before I lose her to being withdrawn like she was earlier.
“You are very cute when you do that,” I say, cocking my head, admiring every small thing about her and appreciating her quirky little habits.
“Do what?” she asks with apprehension.
“Blush. And the wrinkling of the nose, also very cute. And you chew the inside of your cheek when you are nervous,” I reply, flashing her my wide, dimpled smile.
It fires her up. I hear the same heat in her voice I heard in the clinic and the body language … chest lifting and heaving … Christ, it is as sexy as fuck. It leads us on to talk about Bewitched. I love to hear her laugh. Her whole body lights up. Innocently, she has no fucking idea how much she has me under her spell. I thank my lucky stars for hot, sexy witches in this moment because it lightens Lexi’s mood.
Hazel returns and asks us if we are friends. I very much hope so. Lexi agrees, and I feel like the heavy fucking elephant has been lifted from my chest. I am even more ecstatic that she has agreed I can join her and Hazel for dinner.
Part one: Lussuria ~ Lucca’s Words
“Lussuria ~ Chapter Ten: Choices”
Chapter 4
Fallen
After I have convinced my nonna that I managed to calm Lexi slightly and she agreed to have her evening meal with me, I pay the kitchen a visit to let Maurizio know. I offer to help, but they have everything under control. Before I leave, I make a point of asking Maurizio what time the girls’ first cooking lesson is at tomorrow.
Nonno stops me before I go back outside. “She is a very beautiful woman, no?” he asks me.
“Si, she is. Extremely beautiful,” I add staring at the open archway towards outside. He knows I am mystified by her.
“And a very nice soul, such a polite charming young bella ragazza, no?” he continues.
“Si. I have never met anyone like her before. I am fascinated. I want her and I am sure she needs me, she just does not know it yet.” I fix the sleeves on my shirt, tucking them in a little at the cuff. I tell him because we have always been liberal and open in our family.
“We saw a special quality in her yesterday when she arrived. I spoke with Nonna when you were outside with her and we think that you would be very good for her. You need to charm her and be very patient. Show her nothing but kindness and win her over and I am sure she will fall for you, just as you have already fallen for her,” he advises while smiling and nodding at one of the guests walking through the lobby.
“How do you know I have fallen for her?” I ask.
“We see the spark and glint in your eyes. We know you and we have never seen you so enthused or passionate about a woman before. She makes you come alive, Lucca. I am happy for you, but please do everything you can to look after her and take good care of her. She needs lots of love … I can tell, and Nonna says she is hurting.” He pats me on the back. Before I get the chance to tell him I barely know her but plan on getting to know her, Nonna and Maurizio stride past us with entrée plates.
Nonno and I grab some too, and more wine, and follow them out. Hazel has her arms wrapped around Lexi, cuddling or comforting her in that chick way women do. I smile, admiring them both and how close they are, but then I feel a sudden pang of envy as I wish I had Lexi back in my arms, even for a brief moment because it felt so goddamn nice.
Placing the food and topping off the wine, I finally take a seat. Nonno gives me his knowing nod before leaving. He is silently telling me to make them both feel welcome. Of course I want to, but I need to carefully choose my words because I would very much like to get a message of meaning across to Lexi without making it embarrassingly awkward for her.
“Ladies, sorry for making your first night on holiday so distressing. I would never intentionally cause you upset. I am only happy I have had the chance to put this right. And I would like to thank the hands of fate for bringing you to this very place and gracing me with your company. For that I will be entirely grateful. Lexi, Hazel, I hope you have a wonderful holiday here and find everything you are looking for and feel the true essence of the Tuscan experience.”
We raise our glasses, and it is not missed that Lexi blushes, chewing the inside of her cheek. Cute. She got the message loud and clear. When she excuses herself to go to the bathroom, I use the opportunity to speak with Hazel.
“Look, I am sorry for upsetting Lexi tonight. I honestly give you my word that I did not know she would be here. But I am not going to lie, I am thrilled she is. I would love to get to know her more but I do not want to interfere with your holiday plans either.” I slowly swirl the wine in the bottom of my goblet.
“I think it would be good for her to get to know you because she deserves a little attention and happiness, but here’s the thing. She is as closed as they come, and she does not trust easily. Unless you are a master at all things wonderful in
love and lust, then do not get your hopes up. It takes her a very long time before she will let anyone in. I can’t tell you why. It’s personal, but she has been hurt in ways you could never possibly dream about, so if you are a patient man, then your luck might be in,” Hazel says, tapping her chin with her finger.
“Do you think she will let me in and learn to trust me?” I raise my brow. I fucking knew it. She has been screwed over by an ex-lover. No wonder she brushed me off in the clinic. Going out with a stranger is probably the last thing she wants, but just as well I am patient and persistent.
“Um … no probably not. No offense. I would love it if she did, don’t get me wrong, but she has her reasons and I will stand by her no matter what she decides because I love her.”
That is not exactly what I want to hear. The frustration etched on my face is a clear giveaway. I pour more wine and eat another olive.
“Hazel, I am not the type of man to use a woman or abuse her trust. And I will not give her any reason to be afraid of letting me in, but I want to reassure you that should she want to get to know me better, as her friend you have nothing to worry about. I can promise you that I would treat her with the utmost respect and be exceptionally understanding and patient. Hey, I am not perfect, but I think I could be very good for her.” I run my hand over my stubble, watching her press her lips together.
“Well, I am sure you would, but you don’t even know her and she certainly doesn’t know you,” she says in her straight-talking tone, flicking her hair over her shoulder.
“So help me. Convince her to get to know me and give me a chance. How will we ever know if we can be good together if she does not even try getting to know me? A date. All I want is one date, to treat her well, spoil her, and earn her trust.” I bore my blue eyes right into hers. If I want to get close to Lexi, I need to win Hazel over because she obviously is protective and is influential in Lexi’s life. Lexi has seemed to depend on her support tonight.
“A date?” She curls her lips, looking very much like the cat that got the cream. “Hmmm, I will try. But as I said, I would not hold your breath. The day Lexi agrees to date a stranger will be Independence Day, and I will rule the world.” She lowers her voice, motioning behind me, alerting me to Lexi’s return.
“Breath? She already has my breath, Hazel. She stole it from me the minute I laid eyes on her in the clinic,” I say quickly before Lexi takes her seat. Hazel inwardly gasps and does not seem to know where to look. I have left an impression. Good. Fucking good.
I cannot help but smile when I see Lexi approach us. I admire her figure, her unadulterated beauty. My eyes start at her perfectly manicured toes, travelling up her smooth, toned legs which seem to go on for miles. The enticing way her dress sways above her knees to the sexy curves of her hips, small waist, ample, round breasts, narrow shoulders, dainty collar bone, perfect jaw, luscious lips glossier than before, and rich brown eyes.
She must have applied more makeup. She looks fresher. I tell her so. After some basic chit-chat, it is Hazel’s turn to use the restroom. I am glad because it gives me an opportunity to ask Lexi if she regrets meeting me and sharing a meal with me. I am relieved that although she takes her time to answer, she has no regrets. That is positive.
I am conscious that the evening is going to be over soon and I do not want to have regrets. I need to give her my honesty and tell her what I think while she seems more poised and calmer, because after tonight I think everything will change. Lexi will either further distance herself from me, or she will agree to let me in. I am hoping it is the latter.
“Doc, I would like to be honest with you, and I would hate for you to walk away tonight before I told you how I feel. I was hurt to fuck earlier when you were distressed, and I am honoured you agreed to eat with me. I know this is a lot for you to take in. When I asked you out to dinner at the clinic, I meant every word. One look at you in that clinic and I was hopeless for you. I admit that I intended to go back to try and persuade you to go on a date with me because I have never wanted anything more. Tonight is not how I imagined it would go, or dreamed we would be doing this, here, so soon, but I am delighted we are. I would be lying if I told you otherwise.”
I allow her to process what I have just said because her eyes tell me she is a little surprised, overwhelmed perhaps. “I know this is not a date, but in a way it has meant more to me and has been most enjoyable.” I search her face but she looks confused. She does not agree. Fuck!
“You seemed closed and opposed to the idea of ever seeing me again. Tonight was a pleasant surprise because you eventually softened and relaxed, and that is endearing … to watch you flourish. You never shut me out and gave me a chance. When I held you in my arms, it just reinforced everything I have been feeling and thinking since yesterday,” I add, stroking my thumb across her hand.
I have her. If she was surprised before, she most definitely is now but I do not get the impression she is annoyed … I think she is relieved I have been thinking about her. It makes me wonder, has she actually been thinking about me but is too guarded and disciplined, trying to protect her heart, that she will not allow herself to feel anything?
“Oh,” is all she replies. Cute.
“I do not want to let you walk away, Lexi. I want you to agree to a proper date. I want to hold you in my arms and wipe away your tears. I want to get to know you, caress and comfort you. I would love nothing more than to kiss you, taste your sweet lips, and cradle you in my arms until you peacefully fell asleep in my embrace. And for the record, about the rescuing … I would love to be the one to rescue you … protect you … treat you … make you feel … show you life through new eyes … teach you to value yourself … make you feel alive.”
I am practically praying for her to say yes, that she wants this too.
She is tired. Her eyes are heavy and her shoulders have dropped. I give her an out tonight and tell her to sleep on it. It is only fair. I have bombarded her with emotions and laid my cards on the table, it is no wonder she is exhausted.
Lexi yawns. God, she is drained. I would love to carry her back to her bed … my bed, but it is not the time yet. Instead, I walk them back through the villa towards Lexi’s room. It is not missed on me that she does not flinch this when I palm her lower back. Progress. Inwardly, I smile thinking there might be hope she will let me in.
Outside her room, I promise to take of her and not to hurt her. Her breath becomes irregular and she closes her eyes. It is important to her. Her body almost turns to liquid before me. I think I might need to hold her up.
Placing a soft kiss on her forehead, I need to open the space before I do something irrational like claim her mouth and thrash my tongue around with hers … but I know the minute I seal her lips there will be no stopping there. It will never be enough, so a kiss to her head will need to do.
“Dormite bene, bella dolcezza,” I say.
“Umm …” God this girl is adorable.
“Sleep tight, beautiful sweetness. That is what it means.”
“So dolcezza means sweetness?”
“Si. And you most definitely are mine.” I lower the timbre in my voice to a deep, husky tone letting her know I am serious. I do something I know I will regret later—I turn and walk away allowing her to enter her room.
I do not want to, but I am afraid she will turn around and push me away because I am being too forward. I do not think I could cope if she shunts me away or protests about my familiarity with her. We have made small progress tonight, so I do not want her going to bed with an argument weighing on her. So I say what I mean and leave it at that so she does not object.
When I reach the end of the corridor, I glance around to make sure she did get into her room okay and her door is closed. I lean against the wall, run my fingers through my hair, and close my eyes taking deep breaths. Thinking about sugar, sweetness, lips, and Lexi.
Again tonight, she has left me breathless when she invaded my senses and trembled with anticipation just before I ki
ssed her forehead. Fuck! I was so close, so close to those lips, I could almost taste her.
Once my heart rate is regular and I breathe like a normal man again, I join my family downstairs and help clearing up. I shoot Marco a quick text to tell him who I met tonight. He will never believe me. Instead of texting back, he calls immediately.
“What the fuck have you bribed her with? How did you manage it? And how the fuck did you manage to track her hotel and conveniently swap her holiday so it just so happens she is in the same place as you?” Marco says.
I grab a bottle of water from Stefano at the bar and then sit outside, leaning back on the bench and stretch my legs in front of me.
“I swear on my life, I did not know she would be here. It is one big fucking coincidence. I shit you not. But fuck she was not pleased to see me. Christ, I had to spend time calming her down before she would even talk to me.” I unscrew my water bottle.
“Lucca the Lover, has in fact lost his balls this time, and his touch it appears. So she never fell for the Caruso charm?” he jokes.
“Fuck off!” I scoff. “No, she did, she is just different. It is going to take time with her. I will need to be patient, but she got the message loud and clear, trust me. Look, this changes things. I want to spend time with her, and I want to be here for her. I need to cancel on meeting Dino tomorrow. Can you go in my place, look over the plans, email them to me, and tell him I have been held up. I will make a decision in the afternoon if I am interested or not in the development.”
“Lucca, I promised my papa I would go diving with him tomorrow.” He sounds pissed.
“You can. The meeting is at 11:00 a.m. You will still have time in the afternoon. Come on, Marco, I will owe you and your papa one. I will make it up to you. I promise. I would have rescheduled, but it is too short notice,” I say, standing to stretch. I decide to walk around the property.