by SJ Molloy
Deliberately, I have concealed a lot of my emotions from Lexi recently because she is fragile enough worrying about me too. I need her healthy and happy, and I need to look after her. I know how anxious she is, and worrying about me only upsets her. I’ve been selfish, but she surprised me last night by being so understanding.
I will always and forever avoid upsetting her and put her first, which is why I give her all of me. I give her all of me us because I promised her light and she deserves nothing less. I give her the bright, optimistic Lucca who cherishes and worships his dolcezza with every thought, gesture, heartbeat, and breath. But I also gave her weak, scared, and vulnerable Lucca. All of me. And Casey was right, it did feel better telling her how I really feel.
Picking up the napkin I was using, I throw it on the platter of half eaten sandwiches from lunch. My appetite has not been great recently, and I know that Lexi and Grace have both noticed. Intuitively Casey identified almost immediately that I was displaying signs of stress when she arrived at the beginning of the week.
I brought her here to help Lexi and Grace, but Casey cornered me after our meal on her first night. She was sure to be discreet, not to alarm Lexi, but she insisted that I have a few sessions with her again because she thinks it is necessary for me to clear my head in order to take care of Lexi and our little one in the way I desire to.
With unconditional love, affection, care, and protection. With positivity.
She was adamant that I need to refocus and address the fears I have about abandonment if I want to be able to give them that.
Casey had a long therapy session with Lexi this morning, and she is currently taking a break before having a session with Grace this afternoon. I suggested that they sit outside on the alfresco area and take advantage of the lovely weather before the real winter and it begins to get chilly.
The sun and fresh air has been wondrous for Lexi, especially as she is now over her long period of acute morning sickness but, she does tire very easily. I did not get to spend any time with Lexi after her session this morning because she was so mentally exhausted and needed to sleep, and I had another conference call to dial into.
It is days like this that I wish we had the house to ourselves so I can wipe my girl’s tears, bruise her lips with my kisses, and savour her sexy body until she is so spent that she falls asleep in my arms. Then I would pray and whisper my promises against her soft skin while she peacefully sleeps in my arms. Bliss.
I have missed our contact and intimacy today because of her therapy session this morning and my heavy workload, and last night I was hoping to have her after she worked me up in the shower, but I completely conked out. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep before her.
Days on our own have been fairly limited in the past few months because. Grace and other family and friends have been staying here, and our security agents are normally always with us unless I authorise them to have time off.
After arriving back in Tuscany I had a state-of-the-art security system installed in the farmhouse, around the grounds and the vineyards. Lloyd has also equipped me with a selection of pistols of his choice after I obtained a licence to carry such weapons. He has given me countless lessons and full training in case I ever need to use them if Lexi and I are on our own.
I need to be equipped and skilled, and I want to be able to protect my dolcezza if security is not with us. Lloyd frowns upon me authorising the security team time off because he thinks that they should always be on duty until Michael Parks is apprehended. I remind him that there is no one more protective of Lexi than I am, and we need our alone time. I will never let anything happen to her.
She has been with me every day since the night I flew home from my business trip and found her in BarAsta in Glasgow. The night that devious little bitch Kimberley callously tried to shatter her by telling her that Michael Parks was looking for her.
Kimberley has upset Lexi on numerous occasions with her twisted, meddling, and immature little games, and for that I plan to destroy the wicked bitch and her sorry ass. It still renders me speechless that I trusted Kimberley entirely and willingly allowed her to be involved in my personal and business life before I met Lexi. My trusting personality and generosity where Kimberley is concerned has proven to be a very painful lesson learned indeed.
I promised to leave her without a name after her last attempt at humiliating and upsetting Lexi and that I did. I had my friend and solicitor Omari Fayed and a private investigator dig up enough dirt on her to discover her cocaine addiction, money laundering, and outstanding debts.
We also discovered she was running several online small illegitimate stock companies. How Suzanne and I never knew or recognised this was happening when she was working under Suzanne at Osurac head office is beyond me.
My investigator tells me that after we retaliated and confronted Kimberley, she dyed her hair black so she looks almost unrecognisable. Desperate to conceal her identity, she changed her name and disappeared after my press conference. All very bizarre.
It is the best thing for everyone that she is out of the way. I do worry that the dangerous devil will rear her evil head again sometime soon. And after picking up the pieces of her last slaughter, I pray that she has learned her lesson and will never bother us again because it was messy and hard work. The heartache it caused both Lexi and I was soul-destroying.
She obviously did not contemplate the consequences when she devised her malicious plan to expose and humiliate us. Now she needs to protect herself from the press and ultimately the police. Her little plot opened a huge can of worms, one which has caused every reporter and tabloid in the UK to dig into Lexi’s past and out her personal life. That has been hard to stomach for Lexi, Grace, and the entire family.
Kimberley has not only tried to ruin our reputations but that of Lexi’s family because the sordid past they tried to bury is gradually being brought to the surface.
Kimberley was a bright girl with a prosperous future until she fucked it all up by abusing my trust and backstabbing and hurting Lexi and my little sister, Orianna. To say I am disgusted with her behaviour is an understatement, and I will never forgive her for what she has done to my family.
I am so sickened that I ever let her close to me, and it kills me to think that her meddling began through jealously. If I could turn back time I would, and Kimberley would not be a part of Orianna’s, Osurac Industries, or my life. Period.
Our life is complicated enough with the imposing threat of that evil fucking bastard Michael Parks, but now we have been stripped bare and exposed to the world. My sweet beautiful girl is now an open book and the most talked about person in the tabloids.
I could fucking scream like a wild, caged animal. I hate the intrusions inflicted upon Lexi and Grace leaving them so exposed. I do not give a flying fuck what they print about me or dig up on me. I can deal with it, but it crushes me the way my beautiful girl has been targeted and publicised so brutally and disrespectfully.
She has spent her entire life hiding from the reality of her past by being private, avoiding petty gossip and painful confrontation, and she has tried her goddamn best to move forward. Now she is hiding for reasons that seem so unjust and hard to comprehend. It is a complete mindfuck in its own right.
It fucking tears me up and shreds my soul. I wish I could make all this go away. Lexi needs to concentrate on her health and happiness, on our future and taking care of our little one. I do not want her paying attention to the gossip, scandalous absurdities, or slander in the press associated with her years of abuse, Grace’s abduction, and her Stockholm syndrome revelations. All because of Kimberley fucking Franks!
We all thought Kimberley seemed to be so composed at work … a little flirty and adventurous outside of work. It seemed innocent enough, but I never realised how fucked-up and twisted she actually is. I cannot believe she was doing drugs and mixed up with all those debts.
She played me. She played us all and because of her stupidity, we now need
to be very careful about who we talk to, where we go, and always make sure we cover our tracks. I am trying to protect and hide my dolcezza, but it has been difficult at times when the press continually tries to hound us.
Thankfully, they have not discovered our location in Italy and have been unable to link my parents and grandparents whereabouts either. This has been a blessing and a godsend. Cleverly, when my Uncle Genaro, my papa’s brother, helped me source the vineyards and farmhouse here, he helped me guard my assets and ensure ultimate privacy, so this land will never be linked to my own name.
I think about him a lot. For what he did for me. Uncle Genaro had my back, dug me out on more occasions than I care to admit, and kicked started me into gear when I was a young man. He opened doors, taught and showed me things that made me the man I am in business, and I will forever be eternally grateful. I would have given my life for him, but I could not. I was too late. I cannot change it, but fuck, it still hurts.
My uncle Genaro was not a conventional businessman. The stir it caused in the region when I secured the land and property could have caused an exceptional amount of trouble and grief if Uncle Genaro never sorted it out and cleaned it up.
Being in the know, he had the good sense to protect me, and with the right contacts and enough money, he demonstrated that anything is possible. Although I prefer to execute a more honest and professional work ethic, I did learn a lot from Uncle Genaro. He was a very wise man.
Looking at the time on my watch, rubbing my jaw and massaging my throbbing temple, I contemplate and plan for the next few weeks. Normally, I am so organised that I could tell you where and what I will be doing on the first Saturday of June three years from now, but now in light of everything that has happened, I need to take each day as it comes.
It has been challenging at times to adapt to changing our plans sporadically and living on the edge of reason. I make it work, I make things happen, and I ensure that every decision I make, I put my girl first. Always. Anything for my girl.
Searching the top drawer of my desk, I find some painkillers and throw two back with some flavoured water. I lift up one of the black and white photographs sitting on my desk to admire my beautiful dolcezza.
This is one of my favourite photographs of her. Hazel took this picture of her at the surprise birthday party I threw for her, here in Tuscany. Lexi looks so happy and carefree, wearing little denim shorts and a white linen vest.
This was the outfit she had on because she had no idea that I was bringing her family and friends over from Scotland to surprise her. Later she changed into the sexy designer dress I picked for her, which she was also stunning in. She is stunning in anything she wears. Most of all … she is stunning completely naked and underneath me.
I smile, appreciating Lexi’s natural pose, setting the photograph down next to the others I have of her, of us together. In this picture she is bending down to play with Antonia, our baby niece, the strap of her vest falling off her shoulder and her hair all sexy and mused. It is such a simple photograph, and I love how sweet and happy she looks in this image.
After I gave her the photograph book I had made up for her with the help of Giovanni Costanzo, she relaxed and became more appreciative of seeing herself in photographs.
Jesus, I am so proud of her, the way she overcame one of her darkest fears and now is more tolerant and accepting of being photographed. That was a massive step for her. I need Lexi to see how beautiful she actually is and not to be afraid of seeing herself, the real her.
The Leica camera I bought her was also a smart move and a great idea. She absolutely loves it. She was excited taking photographs of everyone at the party using her new gift, and because she trusts Hazel so much, she did not mind her snapping some photographs of us.
Lexi copes better now when addressing her photography fear, because now we can take lots of photographs of our little one. Images of our bambino to always cherish … just like the ones of Lexi that I admire and cherish all around the farmhouse.
The party was the best thing to lift Lexi’s spirits not long after we first returned to the farmhouse. She was ill and suffering so much with acute morning sickness, missing her friends, and living on her nerves. I wanted to do something special for her. I wanted to see that spark, that beautiful aura and light surrounding her, and I needed her to feel loved and cherished by all her loved ones.
God, the weeks running up to her birthday she seemed so depressed, weak, and fragile. I was so worried about her health, both physically and mentally, and needed to lift her spirits. I have a sudden flashback in my mind about last night. Casey had suggested I bring her friends over and for me to spend time with my mates. It does sound appealing.
I told Casey it did not bother me, but the truth is I saw how much it helped Lexi being with her friends, and maybe a game of football or a beer with the boys would actually do a world of good. Of course Lexi would need to be close by. It appears I have another project to work on and make possible.
My girl was adamant she did not want to do anything to celebrate her birthday, and she dismissed any suggestions I made. If I am honest, I actually enjoyed seeing the fire and feistiness back in her because I find it sexy as hell. I will confess it always arouses me and drives me wild for her. She is too fucking adorable when she tries to appear mad, and I love our making up … I relish in it.
I do hate to see her upset, but I can tell when she is really pissed at me so I do not provoke her. I give her time and space and show her patience. But in situations when she is trying to be fiery, forcing herself to appear mad, I know she will soften very quickly and it will pass. It is cute as fuck.
And these are the times I know exactly how to melt my adorable sweet girl. I calm her by showering her in lust and love for both our pleasure. Except last night, fuck, I was a man down.
As much as Lexi protested and fussed regarding her birthday, I know her, and I know that she missed being with her friends. I thought she was becoming closed off and distant, so by bringing them here to spend time with her, I got my Lexi back as well. Just seeing her smile again filled my heart, and it was breathtaking to see that sparkle and enthusiasm return.
Her birthday was before the tabloid scandal so the press was not hounding our family and friends at the time. Lexi was already vulnerable and sick every day, losing too much weight, and Michael Parks consumed our thoughts, but things were a little easier without the press or tabloid scandal.
It is a whole new ball game now trying to organise anything. I send a quick email to Suzanne and Marco telling them my plans before sitting back in my chair once more. I think this could really help us both the more I think about it.
I watched Lexi for hours, laughing, weeping with joy, smiling and dancing with her grandpa. It was such a special day and moment for her. After the party, I arranged for everyone to stay between both my parents’ and grandparents’ villas so Lexi and I could spend her birthday night alone and together.
We both needed it and what a night it was … making love all night long. Perfetto. We had amazing, romantic sex outside under the stars and by candlelight. We fucked in the pool and on the deck, and then the next morning we had intimate bathtub sex, and made love in bed, lazing between the sheets until late in the afternoon.
Occasionally, when I think Lexi needs special TLC and my undivided attention to centre her, and when I crave her all to myself, I arrange for us to be alone here at the farmhouse. It takes some work but I make it happen, and I make it worth our while.
I need to arrange some privacy for us soon, before we both explode. Casey is right; I need to find what relaxes me. Alone with Lexi. It will help me as much as it helps Lexi. God, I need it right now.
We have had the luxury of renting out private hotel suites when we need to travel for business. Security is normally stationed outside the suite after thorough checks have been done, and because we are able to travel on my own private jet, my pilots, Claude and Eric, erase all flight plans and manifests.
> It is nice to make use of the stately and beautiful hotel suites we use. I take her on every fucking surface I can within the luxurious suites. I worship her, caress her, fuck her like crazy, and then make sweet tender love to her all night.
We both look forward to our hotel stays. There is nothing like sharing intimacy in a luxurious and private suite. I love a change of scenery. First-class service and making my girl feel special. It is heavenly, especially after a hectic day of business negotiations. Sometimes it is just nice to spend time together here in the farmhouse alone. Do normal things.
I love to cook for Lexi and take care of her. One of my favourite things is being able to spoil my girl in bed and then cook for her in our kitchen. My heart almost stops beating when she saunters into the kitchen with her with her hair all mused, wearing one of my shirts, after I have sexually exhausted her.
There is nothing sexier or nicer than my stunning girl padding barefoot in our home wearing very little or no clothes. She takes my breath away, and I thank my goddamn stars that Lexi walked into my life.
Simple things like being able to relax by the pool and make love outside the way we did before, without guests and security being around us, is blissful and I know Lexi misses that too. We love to curl up and watch movies on our own, dine outside on the alfresco area, and enjoy intimacy the way we should be able to do in our own home.
The secluded privacy and stunning panoramic views of the farmhouse are some of the reasons I fell in love with the property. I remember Lexi’s face the first time I brought her here on our first official date. She was awe-inspired by the privacy and beauty outside. It stole her breath, just like she steals mine.
Taking long walks together in the vineyard, lying on a picnic blanket where I shower her in sexual delights, reading her a book, and kissing our little one until Lexi falls off to sleep as the sun sets, no words can describe how much I love that. I admire her sleeping, caressing her luscious skin and growing stomach long after she falls off to sleep. There is nothing nicer than having long baths together after an enjoyable day outdoors … these moments … I cherish them because they are scarce now but precious. Precious to me.