Desire a Donovan

by A. C. Arthur

  “It’s an exclusive condo. They just started selling units last month. It’s the newest building in Miami and you’re complaining about how high up it is.”

  There was a time when the sound of Mark’s voice made her feel a certain way. Not warm and passionate, but comfortable and safe. Today it was grating on her nerves. Truth be told, she’d been annoyed since receiving the email from Vina’s people that morning saying they wanted a reshoot because the proofs she sent over weren’t good enough. She’d wanted to tell them it was because Vina was a little buzzed and her people were all whackos who had little control over her. Instead, she emailed them a quick response suggesting another time for the reshoot, but was clear that this would be the last photo shoot before the magazine went to press with whatever shots they decided on. She wasn’t in the business of jumping through hoops for any client, no matter how many times they topped the music charts.

  Mark had only called four times during the day to remind her of the appointments they had this evening to look at places. She’d wanted to hang up the last three times. But this was the man she would be sharing the rest of her life with—the one with whom she needed to find a place to live. I’d better start getting used to the sound of his voice again, she thought.

  “I just didn’t like it. Newer doesn’t necessarily mean better.”

  “Fine,” he replied. “Then where would you like to live? I mean, since I’m the only one even looking for a place.”

  “I just started a new job, Mark. You could give me a second to get acclimated. It’s not like we’re both sleeping at a hotel or on the streets. Your parents are more than happy to have you at home with them.”

  “And let me guess, the Donovans are more than happy to have you staying with them.”

  Now Lyra did sigh. This was the beginning of a ten-year-long-running argument that she and Mark always had but never quite seemed to resolve. She turned a little, and at first just looked at his profile. He was angry. That little muscle in his jaw was tensing. His mocha-toned face was capped by the thin goatee he sported. He wasn’t a big man, but slim and fit in his dress slacks and shirt. The jacket and tie he’d worn to work were neatly folded on the backseat.

  “We’re going to find a place and it’s going to be wonderful. But we don’t have to do it in one afternoon. That’s the point I’m trying to make.”

  Mark nodded. “How long do you plan to stay there?”

  The interior of the car was suddenly quiet. Lyra felt sick. The question was a simple one and should have only required a simple answer. Yet she felt like there was a deeper meaning, like Mark was really asking her something else entirely. Something she was afraid to admit to herself, let alone say aloud to him.

  “Until we find a place,” she said hesitantly.

  “Mmm-hmm.” He frowned and turned into the driveway of his parents’ home.

  “I thought we were going to dinner,” Lyra said, her heart starting to pound. She didn’t want to see his parents. They would no doubt ask about the wedding plans and their living arrangements and all the things you usually asked an engaged couple. His mother would want to know if they’d set a date and how soon they planned on starting a family, all of which were things Mark had wanted to discuss, as well. All of which felt like a black cloud hanging over Lyra’s head.

  “I wanted some alone time with you. Is that all right?” he asked, bringing the car to a stop that jolted her.

  Lyra licked her lips and tried to smile. “That’s fine,” she whispered before he unlocked the doors.

  She didn’t wait for him to come around and open her door but stepped out of the car on her own. When he kept walking to the door Lyra felt like she had to do something. This was all her fault, the tension between them. It was her connection to the Donovans, her link to Dion that was making Mark crazy. She knew that, had always known that he suspected something was going on between the two of them. But he was wrong, there was nothing there, they were just best friends.

  Catching up with him she touched his arm. “You’re right,” she said when he turned to look at her. “Finding a place of our own and starting our lives together should be my first priority. I apologize if I haven’t been acting like it.”

  His jaw slackened, his eyes softened. He touched a hand to her cheek. “I just want you to be my wife and for us to be happy. That’s all.”

  She nodded. “I know.”

  He slipped the key into the door and pushed it open. Touching the small of her back he led her inside and Lyra decided then and there that Dion’s kisses, his touches, any dreams she’d had of them being any more than friends had to end tonight. Mark was her future. Dion was a dream from the past.

  * * *

  “Hello?”

  She sounded groggy. He’d awakened her. A part of him was glad she was in bed asleep at one in the morning. Another part wondered if she was alone in that bed.

  “Hey. Dreaming of me?”

  She sighed and it sounded like she shifted the phone or was moving around herself. “I was dreaming, period. That means I’m supposed to be asleep and not on the phone” was Lyra’s reply.

  Dion laughed. It was the same reply she’d given him anytime he’d called her at night, something he used to do quite often when she was away at college. It seemed that was the time he did his best thinking. And usually that thinking involved Lyra.

  “So how was your day?” he asked settling down in the leather recliner across from his bed.

  “It was a day. How was yours?”

  It really didn’t matter that she was sleeping. Just like it didn’t matter what he was doing whenever she needed him. It was like that between them. They were always there for each other no matter what. He wondered if that would change when she married what’s-his-name.

  “Long. Meetings at the office all afternoon. Then a dinner meeting that ended with cocktails.”

  “More about the expansion?”

  “Yeah, we’re moving ahead pretty quickly, trying to stay one step ahead of the competition.”

  “That’s a good plan, but you don’t want to move so fast you make a mistake. Is Sean doing all the research?”

  Dion rubbed a hand down the back of his head and massaged the back of his neck. He desperately needed the real thing but hadn’t had the time lately. “Sean and his team, they’ve done a great job. It’s the implementation we’re working on. Savian’s already managing the network, but adding new programming has to go through the entire board.”

  “Right. Are you just presenting the reality show for Camille?”

  “No. I did talk to Adam today. He and Camille are thinking of coming out for the ball so we can talk a little more about the show. But Regan’s presenting the fashion segment. Parker’s thinking about adding her to DNT’s nightly entertainment show for a trial run. There’s a lot going on.”

  Lyra huffed. “Tell me about it.”

  By this time Dion concluded she was alone. No way would she be able to continue talking to him if her man was in bed beside her. He was elated at that realization.

  “You having problems at work?” he asked with concern.

  “No. Not work. Well, Vina’s being a bitch, but I expected that.”

  “That goes with the territory for her. You don’t have to do the reshoot.”

  “How did you know about that?”

  “I see all the editorial revisions at the end of the day. I saw the proofs, too, and we could just as easily go with one of them.”

  “And have her get pissed off on my first shoot? No, thank you. I’ll do the reshoot, but I told her people this is their last chance. She needs to sober up and take the damned picture.”

  “That’s a girl. You’ve still got that spunk. Now tell me what else is going on?”

  “Nothing,” she said after a few seconds of silence.

>   “Come on, Lyra, we’ve never kept secrets from each other. Something’s bothering you. Tell me. Maybe I can help.”

  “You can’t fix everything, Dion. I know you’re an almighty Donovan and all, but you cannot fix everything.”

  Her voice had changed when she said that and it almost seemed like she was repeating something someone else had said.

  “Whoa, wait a minute. What does that mean?”

  “I’m sorry.” He heard her take a deep breath, then let it out slowly. She’d probably closed her eyes and silently counted to ten before speaking again. That’s how she kept her feelings under control.

  “I didn’t mean it to come out that way. I just meant that there are some things I have to do for myself.”

  “Okay. I agree. Some battles are yours to fight. But you’re my best friend, Lyra. If there’s something going on with you, I’m not about to just sit by and let you drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out. Just tell me what’s going on.”

  Again she was quiet, and for a minute he thought she was actually going to keep this to herself. There was something different about her since she’d come back from L.A. It was barely noticeable, but Dion could see it. She’d changed in a way he wasn’t quite sure how to handle.

  “I’m just…a little nervous, I guess,” she finally admitted.

  “Nervous about what?”

  “Change.”

  He’d figured as much. In the weeks before she’d left for L.A., Lyra had been moody and cranky and almost unbearable to be around. He knew it was because she was leaving and that it would be the first time she was on her own. Still, Dion had sensed a sort of urgency in her during that time. She wanted to leave Miami, wanted to prove to herself that she could make it on her own, finally. And he’d supported that. So when she asked him to give her a reason to stay he had plenty, the first one being him. He’d wanted her to stay to be with him. Instead, he’d given her what he knew she needed—even though at the time she didn’t want to hear it.

  “Life is about change, Lyra. We all have to adjust to it on some level. At least you’re back home now with your family to support you.”

  “Right,” she said with another sigh. “Mark wants to hurry up. He wants us to set the wedding date.”

  Dion’s gut clenched. He didn’t want her to marry Mark. Hell, he hadn’t liked the idea of Mark heading to L.A. with her all those years ago, either. And for a man used to getting what he wanted, holding back where Lyra was concerned was becoming harder and harder for him. The fact was Lyra was different. She wasn’t like any of the other women Dion had wanted, mainly on a temporary basis. This need for her had rooted itself in him years ago. It was around the time she turned sixteen and he saw her in a way that wasn’t sisterly. They’d already cemented their friendship and it had blossomed into something more. Yet he’d kept in mind how important she was to his parents, how tumultuous her upbringing had been and how if he wasn’t totally serious about committing to her, it might mess up the best friendship he’d ever had. And so he’d backed off.

  Dion wasn’t sure he could do that now.

  “If you don’t want to marry him then don’t,” he replied simply.

  “It’s not that. I don’t think. I just don’t see the reason for rushing.”

  “How much more time do you need to think about it?” he asked, wondering if she really loved this guy.

  “That’s just it. I don’t know.”

  “Then let me ask you this. Do you love him?”

  She was quiet and Dion had his answer. If he could’ve sung he would have. Instead he smiled to himself, rubbing a finger over his chin. Lyra wasn’t in love with Mark. And she’d kissed him the other night with a desire so intense he’d dreamed of her all night long. In his mind that meant one thing—it was time to make his move.

  “I should love him. He’s been great to me over the years. He’s a good man with a good future. Everything a girl like me ever dreamed of.”

  “A girl like you?”

  “You know what I mean, Dion. I’ve never expected too much. I couldn’t afford to. With Mark I didn’t really have to. He was just there and he did all the right things, made all the right moves. We should be married.”

  “Even if you don’t love him?”

  “I didn’t say I didn’t love him.”

  “You didn’t say you did, either.”

  She made this mumbling sound and then it sounded like she moved around again. She was probably sitting up in the bed now, ready to debate him, he thought.

  “All I’m saying is on paper everything looks perfect. We seem to make a good couple. I just want to be absolutely sure that it’s right in every other respect before I make such a huge commitment.”

  She was trying to convince herself to settle is what it sounded like to Dion. She deserved better. After all she’d been through, Lyra deserved to have real love, real passion and Dion knew he was the man who could give that to her.

  “What about us, Lyra?”

  “What about us?” she asked hesitantly.

  “There’s something going on between us. You know that. You knew it before you left for L.A. and you know it now.”

  What Lyra knew was that she shouldn’t have answered the phone. She’d looked at the display on her cell and saw it was Dion. A part of her smiled, and remembered all their late-night conversations when she’d been away at college and wanted to feel that nostalgia again. Another part felt guilty, a feeling that was beginning to make itself right at home with her lately.

  “We knew the boundaries before and we honored them. Now that I’m back, we just have to remember them.”

  “You know me better than that. I don’t work with boundaries.”

  “I know. You’re a Donovan, so you do what you want and you get what you want. You don’t have to remind me of that, Dion. But if I remember correctly, you’re the one who sent me away. When I was ready to explore what was happening between us, you told me to go.” And broke every piece of my heart, she thought.

  “There was a reason for that.”

  “It doesn’t matter. It was the right thing to do. Just like we both know now that the right thing to do is to remain friends.”

  “Why? Because on paper it looks like Mark is the right man for you?”

  “Mark and I are better suited for each other, that’s all. He’s more my type.”

  “What? How can you say that and know that you’re trying to figure out if you love him enough to marry him?”

  “We just make a better couple. With Mark I don’t feel like I’m reaching, trying to be a part of something I’m not.” The words were out of her mouth before Lyra could stop them. On the other end of the phone Dion was quiet and she knew that wasn’t a good thing.

  “Are you talking about our backgrounds, Lyra? Are you really going to bring up the fact that you come from a different background than I do? We grew up in the same house, dammit!”

  “But only one of us belonged here,” she admitted, looking around the bedroom that she was still amazed to call her own. It was an ugly truth, one that probably hurt Dion as much as it hurt her to admit. He was from a different class. If not for Dion’s mother and her generous heart, they most likely would have never met. They wouldn’t have gone to the same schools or even gone to the same places. He would have remained in his social circle and she would have remained in hers. At least Mark had come from a simple working-class family. His rise to wealth had been the result of a lot of financial aid and some luck thrown in. Just like Lyra had lucked out.

  “That’s ridiculous and you know it. Did Mark tell you that? Is that what he feeds you to keep you with him?”

  “He doesn’t have to feed me lines, Dion. He’s not the billionaire playboy like you. He’s not the one with his picture in the tabloids and stories of his sexual exploits.
He’s a simple guy and I’m a simple woman. That’s a good match.”

  “That’s bullshit!”

  The line went silent again and Lyra took a deep steadying breath.

  “I don’t want to lose you as a friend, Dion. Your family means a lot to me. But this is my life and I have to make the choices that are best for me.”

  She waited a minute, not sure what she wanted to hear from him at this moment but shocked that she heard absolutely nothing.

  “I thought you, of all people, would understand,” she added and then because the silence hurt almost as much as the day he’d told her to leave, Lyra disconnected the call.

  Chapter 10

  Dion was in a crappy mood.

  That was probably an understatement. But his staff knew when to steer clear of him. He hadn’t taken any calls all morning and had barely read a word of the latest sales figures and projections that were on his desk when he came in. All he could think about was Lyra.

  Of all the things standing between them he’d never expected it to be something as meaningless as money.

  Lyra had come to live with them when she was ten years old. Dion was fourteen and Sean was eleven. Neither one of them particularly cared for girls at the time, but their mother had been adamant about them being nice to Lyra because she’d had a hard life. At the time Dion didn’t have a clue what that meant, but out of respect for his mother he gave Lyra a break.

  Right from the start she’d been a fighter, giving as good as she got, whenever he and Sean had plotted against her. In most cases she bested them. So it wasn’t long before the brothers had accepted her as their little sister—not only in their home, but in their hearts. On the playground they defended her—even though most times they really didn’t need to. Lyra had a way of taking care of herself. She wasn’t always as forthright as Dion would have liked, but she always handled things in her own way. He wondered why he had such a hard time believing she’d do the same now.