by Pamela Ann
“I would stay up late, picturing what life would be like with you living with me,” he started. “Going to university together, sharing meals, sharing friends and making new memories…” He took he deep breath, pausing. “You were always in them, you know.”
Swallowing the heavy lump in my throat, I flung an arm around his waist, holding him close. “I love you, Liam.”
He rolled to his side, hugging me tight. “Please don’t ever forget that,” he murmured, smelling my hair. “I wish I could stay here and be with you.”
“Soon…” Time will pass. We just had to make it through. What was another seven months? If you really thought about it, it would be here before I knew it.
“Hold me.” Don’t ever let go…
***
Dinner came, and it was only Mom and Brett who joined us. Brett made an excuse for his son, though, stating that he was at his girlfriend’s house and had already made plans for the night.
I wasn’t sure if his excuse was made up or if that was what Grey had told him. Either way, that statement bothered me. A great deal. It made me wonder if he’d had a girlfriend all along. I mean, he had only seen me at night. Whatever he had done with his time in between, I knew nothing about. So yes, I supposed it was normal to wonder.
It was past ten when Liam and I reached Jet’s house. Since it was our last night—our only night together—I knew I had to bring him along.
He was tired and I felt bad about bringing him, but he’d wanted to meet Josie and he had promised that he’d leave after an hour or so. After the party, I could have Josie drop me off at home or maybe to his hotel room. He made sure I had gotten an extra key before we left the hotel to meet Mom and Brett for dinner.
One other thing I hoped to do tonight was to privately speak to Grey. I just wanted—needed—to make sure that things were okay, that there was no misunderstanding between us. Amicable was how I pictured things to go forth after what had happened. I would have to hope this idea wasn’t wishful thinking.
Jet’s house was a mere five minutes away from our home. Even though I had been here only a few times, I somehow knew my way around. In the kitchen, I found Josie amongst other people from our school. By the looks of it, my friend was already buzzing incredibly well. Liam was right behind me when Josie spun around and spotted us, waving and squealing.
“Oh, my gosh! You’re even hotter than hot in person!” she greeted us, holding out her hand before I managed to say anything. “I’m Josie, BFF and all that entails!”
Sheesh, I was holding back a laugh as I peeked sideways at Liam, who seemed to be enjoying the fawning of my so-called BFF. “Nice to meet you. And you’re just as Olivia described—bubbly and extremely full of life.”
Josie swooned. “Your accent… Do you have a brother? A friend?”
I rolled my eyes, needing to intrude. “How about you slow down on the drinks then maybe you can ask him questions because, right now, you’re being a hot mess.”
She snorted. “Loosen up, Olivia.” She then brushed me off, glancing at Liam. “Why is she so cranky?”
I hadn’t been trying to be hurtful; I really hadn’t. My words had come out wrong. “I’m sorry. I guess I’m just tired.” Or maybe I was to wound up knowing that Greyson must be somewhere around here.
Jet’s house was full of party people, and by the looks of it, they’d been going at it for a while.
“I’ll forgive you as long as you take a shot.” She went to a nearby table that had all of the shots prepped and ready to go.
I was a guilty bitch. Sighing, I grabbed what she shoved at me, sniffing the clear drink. “Vodka.” My face contorted at the thought of downing it, but I did it anyway. Liam was soothing my back when I felt the heavy, fiery burn of the alcohol travelling from my throat to the pit of my stomach, making me a sick. Damn, that was strong.
Josie grinned at me, flipping her hair to the side. “Thanks, babe. I’ll look for you in an hour or so. I know your frosty self will have thawed by then.” She kissed my cheek before giving Liam one as well.
I wonder what Liam thinks about our friendship, I mused.
“Nice friend of yours,” he murmured in my ear, pulling me close. “Wanna dance?”
I was just about to say yes when I saw Greyson at the far end of the living room… with a new woman beside him. I stared at him for a while, trying to get his attention, but I supposed he didn’t see me, or maybe he was simply ignoring me because Grey and I used to treat each other like that.
With that, my hopes of being civilized were dashed. I guessed he had resorted back to how we were, and that was the best solution after all.
Lightly, I held Liam by the hip before whispering into his ear, “Can you get me another shot? I’m up for whatever you want afterwards.”
“You’re on,” he murmured, his voice raw with desire.
One shot was what I had planned, but I ended up with two. If that didn’t show how nervous I was… I didn’t know what other disaster that night would bring.
The makeshift dance floor was vast, so I chose the farthest place possible away from Grey and his girlfriend.
Liam and I danced, but halfway through the song—with my body thrumming from the alcohol—Liam’s surprise visit and Grey’s ability to pretend like I didn’t exist anymore had left me feeling too wound up… and I needed to let loose. Clear my mind of anything and just start… feeling.
Oh, how I was feeling that strong, muscular body against mine. My entire summer had consisted of me memorizing this body…
“Liam,” I pleaded. Bring me back to you.
It was as if he just knew. In a heartbeat, I was up against the wall, caged in by his frame while his lips and hands were everywhere on me. He felt like a man who hadn’t had anything to drink in days. His kiss was amazing, yet it lacked the scorching fire that only Greyson could deliver.
My eyes were closed, however when I heard a loud thud, my eyes snapped open to a set of tiger-eyes lasered in on me.
It was Grey, making out with the woman, but his eyes were darting hatred at me. Liam was so distracted from consuming my body that he didn’t notice, yet I was stuck between kissing him and having a silent argument with Greyson. He was angry. There was no mistaking that now.
Not once did his hate-filled stare waver. He was trying to prove a point and I wasn’t sure what his message was.
What I did know was that I couldn’t stand there and witness this calamity.
“Liam.” I sought his eyes, cupping his cheeks. “I’ll meet you back in your room.” My eyes flickered back and forth, knowing that he was on the edge of losing his control.
He nodded, kissing me again for the last time. This time I dared not glance at the couple next to us.
“I’ll be waiting.”
Pasting on an encouraging smile, I replied, “See you in a little bit.” I waved my goodbye before I sprinted out of there and looked for Josie.
My plan to speak to Greyson tonight wasn’t happening. Especially not when he looked like he planned to tear me to shreds. Jet also lived in the pool house, so I knew some people were over there as some were littered across the garden.
I was walking past the loosely graveled pathway of the garden when someone snatched—no, it was more of being bulldozed—me to the side and pressed me against a tall bush, which blocked anyone from view.
“What the shit!” I screeched. Every fiber in me knew who it was, but I was still fuming. He could have at least warned me or something, not scared me shitless.
“How dare you bring him here!” Grey hissed a few feet away from me. He looked like he wanted to scream, but was barely holding his temper in check.
I folded my arms, sending him a stony glance. “You have a girlfriend? When the fuck did that happen?”
He scowled. “I don’t have a girlfriend—what the hell did you expect, huh? You think I can sit through dinner and pretend like nothing’s happened? How insensitive can you be?”
I hadn’t been trying to
be insensitive. I truly hadn’t.
Staring at him, I sought for understanding. “It was only seven days, Grey.”
His handsome face dropped. “What the fuck was I to you then? Just someone to mess around with?”
Why was he so angry? It had only been a week. I knew he and I had become close, but to be this invested? It was disconcerting.
“Grey, you’re being irrational,” I tried to reason with him, make him understand where I was coming from, however he seemed beyond that.
“I’m irrational,” he spat back. “Right.”
He was. I had never seen a man this angry—not towards me anyway. “You need to understand where I’m coming from. Liam and I—”
“I won’t allow you to be with him,” he bit out. “I hate seeing you with him.” He looked like he’d swallowed poison, flinching at the words.
Excuse me? The last time I had checked I was still my own person. “Why’s that, huh? Just because you and I had something going on, that doesn’t mean—”
“Because you’re fucking mine!” he yelled at the top of his lungs with his chest heaving and his eyes flashing at me like hard, crystal daggers.
All breath left me. My heart was suddenly running a marathon as his words sunk in. What made me shiver was the look he had. It was a look that told me that he believed his words; that I was seriously his.
“Whatever gave you that idea?” I managed to whisper, shocked.
“You’ve always been mine,” he murmured, looking torn. “You just wouldn’t allow it.” He sought my eyes while I glanced away, feeling too much.
I shook my head, denying everything he’d just spewed. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Grow the fuck up!”
He gave me a cutting glance; the wound went straight into me. “I am growing up. That’s why I’m trying to reason with you. You’re making a mistake here.”
Something about the way he said things, it seriously ticked me off. It was as if he just knew. He was being a self-entitled jerk and I wouldn’t put up with the shit. “You’re the mistake. I shouldn’t have gotten involved with you—”
He turned cold; his eyes so dark that I felt their chill. “Well, then, I guess I’m done being such a fucking mistake.”
I watched after him, hoping I could undo the hurtful words we’d exchanged, yet I knew I couldn’t say anything that would make him come back without compromising what I had with Liam. I had to make a choice. And I did.
Chapter 21
Grey
Whatever gave you that idea? Her words mocked me. Seven days might not be that long, but it had been long enough for me to know that I truly wanted her. Not the beautiful face and her gorgeous smile, but the woman who was inside her. The sweet woman underneath. The one that would shyly gaze at me with desire; the passionate girl within. Her outer exterior gave off that she was aloof—a bitch with no care in the world—but once you got to see glimpses of what she was underneath… It had seriously gotten me hooked; so hooked, in fact, that for the first time, a girl got to fuck me over. It pissed me off; not to mention how fucking embarrassing it was to be dumped this quickly.
Karma was a mad bitch because she was biting my ass really hard right now. All those hearts and empty promises I had broken with countless of women were now being slapped in my face.
Rejection wasn’t an alienated feeling for me.
In fact, you could congratulate my mother for that. And now, of course, Olivia had done it, too. The only two women who I had chosen to let my guard down with, and both had fucked me over.
Yi—fucking—pee.
She was back with him, right now, in his hotel room. It didn’t take a wild guess what she and her boyfriend were up to. We hadn’t made promises, but somehow, I felt like I had been tricked.
“You look like shit on shit,” Jet remarked as he passed by me, beer in hand.
Well, he looked like he was having a good time. At least one of us was.
Shit on shit. That would be right. It sure felt like it was.
“Get the fuck out,” I grumbled. The last thing I needed was him snooping in my damn business.
“Can’t. In case you forgot, you’re in my place.” He stared at me for quite some time, subdued. “She’s only a girl, man; let it go.”
I threw him a look, one to shut him up, but he wasn’t paying attention. “I know there’s been a love-hate thing going on for years—and don’t get me wrong, she’s an awesome girl—but there’s more out there you know; like the ones that really dig you. You don’t want someone who fucks around like that.”
Fucks around like that…
The thing was, there had been no fucking involved. There could’ve been, if I’d really pushed it. There had been instances during our heated, crazy kissing session when I could’ve had her, but since she had told me that she wasn’t ready to go all the way with me, I had respected that. I made sure not to place myself in a situation where I wouldn’t see black and white; just the damn gray. Where everything could get blurry and I wouldn’t think of her wants because I was focusing on my own. I might’ve hated her in the beginning, but I respected her.
Even now, even though the hate in me boiled my blood, I still respected her.
I glanced towards Jet when he lit up his roll of weed, still staring at me like I was a weird circus show. “Give me that,” I demanded, uncaring that I was past rude. I didn’t have to explain myself to him. He was a friend; he knew what I was going through without me laying it out for him.
Jet handed it to me without a word, but with a knowing smirk. Weed was my answer when I was stressed out, which wasn’t all the damn time. I gave a quick glance at the imperfectly rolled stick before I placed it in-between my lips, sucking it with deep enthusiasm as I inhaled the smoke, held it long enough for a deeper effect, then tilted my head upwards and released the smoke through my nostrils and mouth.
The hit was the purest it could get. Cali weed was one of the best I had ever had and my crew knew just where to get the good stuff. It was smooth—expensive—just the way I liked it.
“Want more?”
Fuck yes. “You know I do. Look for that chick that was all over me earlier. I need some tits around,” I murmured, closing my eyes as I took another hit off my joint.
Good weed. Alcohol. Pretty, willing girls. It was the perfect imperfect combination.
Tonight, I was going to savor this bitterness that was fucking with my mind. Only for tonight, though, because tomorrow, when I fucking woke up, Olivia would be dead to me.
Fuck her.
Fuck all the women in the world.
All they did was lie. Who needed liars around? I sure as hell didn’t.
Chapter 22
Liv
Saying goodbye to Liam at LAX airport was trying. His visit had reinstated our feelings for each other, but now that he wasn’t here, I was left to face the outcome of what I had done.
Last night, I spent the night in his room; however I spent the entire time reeling from my heated encounter with Greyson. What he’d said—the things that had spewed out of him—how enraged he had been and how he’d believed what he was saying, they hounded my thoughts.
It had been like poison. It lingered there, taking its time until it could seize me.
For the whole duration, I kept thinking about the “what ifs”. What had been even more disconcerting was the very fact that I wasn’t one to even consider these instances. I always stood on a solid platform, knowing what I wanted and went for it. For me to pause and ponder about what might’ve been wasn’t me.
When I came home, I wasn’t even a bit surprised that Grey’s car wasn’t there. After last night, he’d avoid me like the plague. So for the rest of the day, I spoke to Mom and Brett as if everything was normal.
Monday rolled in and still there was no Grey in school or at home. The same went for the day after.
For the rest of the week, I waited for him to show up, but each day became a letdown. He was skipping school, doing God kn
ew what.
Though Jet and the rest of his crew—men and women alike—were all present, I didn’t have the guts to ask for Grey’s whereabouts.
During Friday night dinner, I asked Brett about him, playing it off as if I wasn’t noticing it on a daily basis. Basically, Grey was telling him that he’d been staying at Jet’s for a little while. What bothered me more was that he didn’t seemed concerned that his son was staying about five minutes away from his own house. Brett was a lenient parent and I could easily see why Grey got to do whatever he wanted. He simply didn’t have a parent to monitor him.
My mom would allow me to do things as long as I informed her of everything I did, and at times, like the situation with moving in with Liam once I got in Sydney, I had to ask for permission first.
After two weeks of not seeing him at all, I started to really worry. Even at school, he was a no show. Everyone was the same—acted as if nothing were different—but I knew, for Grey to be gone for this long, something was up.
During a meal, I contemplated contacting him. Even when I was in bed, ready to sleep, my conscience was eating me alive. Reaching for my phone, I decided to bite my pride and reach out to the man himself.
Me: Where are you? Are you okay?
I stared at my phone for most of the night, hoping I’d get a response, but to no avail. I wasn’t sure if I should give him a call or pester him with text messages until I got a reply… however I wasn’t that kind of person. If Grey didn’t respond, it could only mean that he didn’t want to and couldn’t be bothered with me.
What should I do? Should I just go to sleep? Or should I do something, like call him or something even more drastic than that…? Like maybe go to Jet’s house and ask if I could talk to him?
Okay, it was a Friday night… there was going to be a party—there always was.
Texting Josie, I asked if she was doing anything tonight. Three minutes later, she told that she was in a party, with Greyson around.
Great. My friend was informative. I hadn’t had to elaborate what my intention was because my best friend had known. Josie and I communicated in a different way, a way where I didn’t have to explicitly explain everything to her, and the same went for me when she needed my help. That’s why our relationship worked. We were two of a kind.