*
For the next few weeks Sarah repeated her journey into this dangerous area of the town but as the time went on the thirty pounds she was spending was not getting her enough of the drug, nowhere near enough. And then, as she failed to register for the summer term of college after the Easter holidays, her college payments stopped.
In a panic she contacted the college and asked why the payments had ceased. The college informed her that due to her lack of attendance, her lack of submission of vital pieces of coursework and her lack of presence at key examinations, she had been removed from her courses and would have to re-sit the year. Therefore, given all these circumstances, the college had no option but to suspend her payments.
Sarah begged them to allow her back on the courses and to continue sending her payments but they refused stating it would not be fair on the other students who had attended to allow her back onto the courses. With a foul torrent of abuse Sarah slammed the phone down.
‘Is anything the matter dear?’
‘Is anything the matter dear? Is anything the fucking matter?! Are you on this planet mum? Are you?! If you supported me more, if you were more of a mother to me then perhaps I would not be in this fucking mess. If you had been more of a wife to dad, perhaps he would have stayed! Instead, because of you, I’ve been kicked off my college courses.’
‘Never mind dear. I’ve done well without no college courses.’
‘I think mum that our ideas of doing well may differ ever so fucKING SLIGHTLY!’ Sarah’s voice increased in volume and hysteria.
She slumped into an armchair, muttering to herself, scratching her arms as she struggled to think of a way to fund her addiction. Earlier that month she had already sold anything she could sell. The only item in the house that was worth anything was her computer but she was not going to sell that until she truly had no other option. She still occasionally used her computer when she was sold a type of heroin she did not know so she could investigate it on the internet and find out how much of the drug she should take.
No-one would buy the old furniture or the even older fridge and washing machine; she had already tried. She stared with venom at her mother as she took a swig from a bottle of dark rum, staring into the space where the television used to be. Sarah had got thirty pounds for it. Looking around the room desperate for eyes to land on something she could sell, her eyes rested on her mother’s purse. Without hesitating she asked her mum a question. ‘Mum, when’s your next social payment due?’
‘Today dear. But I’ve not had chance to get it.’
‘Do you want me to get it for you?’
‘If you don’t mind dear. You know my pin number don’t you?’
‘Yes mum. Just as well I do because you don’t know what it is do you?’
‘You’re a good girl. Will you get me some vodka on your way back? And some gin? And some whiskey? And some food? I haven’t eaten for a while. I can’t remember the last time I ate anything.’
‘Of course mum. I’ll go right now.’ Sarah stood and took her mum’s bank card from her purse. Turning to look at her mum she leaned over her and kissed her lightly on her forehead. ‘Sorry I was nasty before mum. It’s hard for us both.’
‘It’s okay dear. I’m sure your dad will come back one day. It’s just a phase he’s going through.’
‘I’m sure too mum. I’ll be back soon.’ She lightly kissed her mum again and left the house.
Sarah walked the streets, slept in a pipe underneath a railway line for two nights because she did not want to return home and give the money to her mother. She was hoping that by the time she got back her mum would have forgotten. Sarah did not return home until dark had fallen at the end of the third day.
*
Sarah’s mother waited all that day and evening for her daughter to return with the alcohol that she desperately needed. Late that night she had still not returned so she wandered through the house looking in all the places she had stashed alcohol in the past. All were dry.
As she continued to wander through the house she appeared to get more and more confused, checking places that she had already checked and doing this numerous times. After a few hours of this aimless wandering she returned to the living room and slumped into a chair.
Sarah’s mother, for the last year, had consumed vast amounts of strong alcohol and had not been without a drink to hand throughout this year. It had now been eight hours since her last drink and she had started to get withdrawal symptoms.
After settling into the chair she fell into a deep sleep that persisted throughout the night and into the morning. When she did awake it was early morning and the sun was casting its light through a gap in the curtains and was shining on the wall. As she focused on the light it seemed to shake in front of her. She noticed that she had a strong headache and looking at the light did not help. Unable to help herself though, she glanced at the light again and it shook again. Now she stared at it, confused and disorientated, and the light seemed to leap out towards her. She threw herself backwards as the light turned into a ball and raced towards her face, turning into a bat as it landed on her face. Springing out of the chair she ran off into the kitchen screaming, scratching at her face and drawing blood with her nails down her cheeks. Then, as if nothing had happened, she returned to the chair and stared into the space where the television used to be.
As soon as she had settled down she shouted, ‘Bat!’ in a loud voice and ran back to the kitchen door and slammed it shut. She then proceeded to lift every cushion up in the living room and as she lifted each one she screamed, ‘Bat!’
When every cushion had been lifted she again returned to the chair, but her whole body was now trembling so badly as she lowered herself into the chair she misjudged her descent and she landed on the arm of the chair which overbalanced sending her sprawling on the floor.
Lying on the floor she stared at the ceiling focusing again on another ray of light which hurt her eyes as she looked at it. So she closed her eyes, yet when she opened them the light had broken into numerous bright objects and these were crawling around on the ceiling. One by one she watched as they dropped and landed on her face. She could feel her heart beating, hammering away in her chest as she experienced palpitations. Screaming and screaming she spent the next five minutes beating her body as she felt the creatures crawling on her skin, her heart beating rapidly. Soon she was sure she had managed to squash the creatures made out of light and she could not feel anymore on her body but the exertion of beating them off her had left her sweating and her heart was racing then suddenly she started to experience pain in her stomach and chest.
Sarah’s mother managed to push herself into a sitting position and drag her alcohol ravaged body to the chair. As she sat there her body started to shake and she started to experience body tremors and these incessant tremors made her feel nauseous. At one point she was sure she was going to be sick so she ran for the bathroom but she could not remember where it was. She ran around the house throwing open doors until she managed to find it where she knelt at the toilet and started to violently retch. Having not eaten anything for days, all she did do was retch and she did this so violently her body was placed under immense strain that it could not deal with and it triggered a seizure.
One moment she was knelt on the floor, the next moment her whole body was lay on the floor and was violently shaking. Her head thrashed some side to side as did her arms and legs. Then as quickly as it had started her whole body went rigid for a few moments and from the corner of her mouth a trickle of blood appeared. Then, as quickly as it had stopped, is started again, going quickly from periods of muscle contraction to periods of rigidity. After a few more moments of this her whole body relaxed and she lay on the floor breathing heavily, eventually sinking into a restless sleep.
She awoke a few hours later and the first thing she noticed was that her tongue appeared to be in some pain, and on further analysis she discovered her whole body was aching. She had no recollection a
s to why or how she was on the bathroom floor or why her whole body appeared to be aching, but she decided that being on the bathroom floor was not the best place to be so she tried to stand. Using the toilet she managed to drag herself into a sitting position but even this simple manoeuvre was difficult.
Her whole body felt very weak and it was some time before she could regain her breath to achieve a kneeling position. Then, with the help of the cistern and sink she pulled herself up onto her feet where she steadied herself before walking to the top of the stairs. Even though she had checked the cupboard numerous times, she still thought that she had a small bottle of something or other in the cupboard under the stairs so she decided she would investigate it.
Resting for few moments at the top of the stairs, she then took a step down and instantly her weakened leg collapsed from underneath her. As her body started to fall she desperately clawed at the hand rail, her fingers scrambling for purchase but missing every time. Gravity then took hold and she fell head first towards the middle of the stairway. Her foot got trapped in the balustrade as she fell and her leg twisted, dislocating her ankle and as the pressure on her leg increased, her lower leg, to be precise her tibia, cleanly snapped in two.
The pain hit her instantly and she screamed but then her screams were snuffed out as she landed head first on a step knocking her unconscious. Her neck could not support the weight of her body and it also snapped cleanly in two killing her instantly. She bounced down the rest of the stairs coming to rest at the bottom of them, her twisted head hanging loosely against her shoulder, her eyes staring sightlessly into the space where the television used to be. It was in this twisted, macabre position where Sarah found her the next day.
Chapter 31
Sarah crawled out of the pipe early that morning leaving behind the empty syringes. She had hardly slept due to the scurrying of the rats further along the pipes, and she looked and smelled terrible. The previous day she had emptied her mother’s bank account taking it to its overdraft limit. The same night she had gone into the red light district and spent most of the money on heroin. Now, with her clothes dirty and body filthy, she casually strolled into the shopping area of the town hoping to steal some toiletries so she could go home and clean up.
When she entered a department store a security guard looked at her with total disdain. He was going to stop her entering the store but as he approached her he noticed that she stank and he did not want to get any closer than he had to. She walked past him and smiled at him showing that she had lost one of her canine teeth. This had fallen out only yesterday due to severe decaying of the tooth and gum. Instead, the security guard spoke into his radio and informed the security centre of his concerns about this customer to which they replied they would keep an eye on the thieving bitch.
Sarah headed straight for the Estee Lauder counter and waited until their representative was deeply involved with another customer. When this occurred, Sarah quickly grabbed a handful of cleaning products and stuffed them into her coat pockets. Unknowing to her, there was a camera watching her. The security centre quickly sent a message to the same guard and he thundered across the store towards the Lauder counter. ‘You! Stop! Thief!’
‘Shit!’
She ran off in opposite direction from the charging guard, daring a quick glance over her shoulder. This quick glance cost her as she was tackled to the floor by a burly guard.
‘Get your hands off me! How dare you treat me like this!’ Sarah was thrashing around on the floor, kicking and punching the guard. ‘Get the fuck off me!’
‘I am! I am! Bloody hell you stink!’ He helped her to her feet to which she responded by kicking him in the knee.
‘Bastard!’
She tried to run past him as his knee collapsed from under him but by now the original guard had arrived and he wrapped his arms around her.
‘Get off me! Get the fuck off me!’ And to this plea she added an ear piercing scream. By now a crowd was gathering and the guard received a message in his ear.
‘Get the products and get her out of here before she scares off all the customers!’ He reached into her pockets and threw the products to the other guard who had recovered sufficiently to hobble over to his colleague.
‘Help me get her to the exit.’
‘Are we not getting her arrested?’
‘Apparently not. They want her out and quick about it.’
‘Okay. Whatever. Their choice’
Once the products were recovered they each took an arm and pulled the still kicking and screaming Sarah to the exit. The automatic doors slid open and they threw Sarah into the street.
‘You’re barred, for life!’
‘I’m going to sue the arse off you two for treating me like this!’ Sarah then made a move to enter the store again but was firmly pushed away by the guards. ‘You fucking bastards, I’m going to take you to court!’
She tried one more time to burst into the store but again she was repelled by the guards. This time though she lost her footing and she was sent sprawling onto the floor. By the time she stood up the guards had entered the store again and were beckoning her to move away. Sarah raised her middle finger to them and then spun away to be greeted by Michelle looking at her with a look of surprise and shock on her face. Michelle also appeared to be holding hands with a gorgeous guy who she knew from college but could not quite put a name to the face.
‘Oh, hi Michelle! Been a while!’
‘Yes, it has Sarah. You okay? What on Earth was all that about?’
‘Slight misunderstanding, but needless to say I was right and they were so in the wrong!’ She flashed a smile at Simon who noticed the missing tooth and the blackness of her other decaying teeth. ‘Are you not going to introduce me to this hottie?’
‘Well, you know him from college. Well you should anyway. This is Simon.’ Simon nodded and seemed to be about to offer his hand but then quickly decided against it.
‘I’ve seen him about. I was planning to try and shag him, but I guess that is out of the question now?’ She finished the sentence, which was definitely a question, and gave a quick wink at Simon.
Michelle decided to tactfully ignore Sarah’s suggestive attitude. ‘Where have you been? You’ve not been in college; you’ve not been in work. I tried to call you a few times but there was no answer. I tried you at work but they said they had not heard from you in months and had in fact fired you!’
‘Must have missed the letter telling me about that. Well, let’s just say my life is a little different now.’
‘Well clearly. You look terrible.’
‘That’s what I’ve always like about you Michelle, your tact.’
‘Do you want to go for a coffee and talk about it? The last time I saw you,’ Michelle had to pause for a moment while she thought about it, ‘was the night me and Simon, well, I saw you leave with Peter Johnson.’
‘Yeah, don’t I remember that all too well. I think I’ll pass on the coffee Michelle, but thanks for the offer. I don’t suppose you could lend me some money could you? Fifty pounds would see me through for a few days. I’ll be able to buy some stuff and maybe stop myself looking so terrible.’
‘Well, I suppose I could lend you something.’ Michelle was starting to get her purse out of her bag when Simon grabbed her arm and pulled her away.
‘Are you out of your mind?! You’re going to give fifty pounds to that druggie?’
‘Druggie? How do you know that? Look, she’s probably just going through a rough patch…’
‘Michelle, she’s always been going through a rough patch. She’s had more guys in this town than I care to think about. I know at least two guys who caught an S.T.D. off her…..’
‘Well more fool them for not using protection. Look, it’s my money.’ She shrugged off his hand and walked the few steps back to Sarah. ‘Here you go. Not quite fifty but I hope it helps.’
‘It all helps. I should be able to get some good H, I mean soap with this.’ She laughed and
took hold of the money but Michelle retained her grip of it.
She looked into Sarah’s eyes, staring into them. ‘H? I presume means heroin?’
‘Michelle, really, this is a bad…’
‘Stay out of this Simon. H is?’
‘Is a new kind of soap powder.’
‘I’m sure. Please Sarah, don’t use this on drugs.’
‘Okay, I won’t.’ She snatched the cash out of Michelle’s hand. ‘Well Michelle, guess I’ll be seeing you. You’re lucky Michelle, always have been. Rich, supportive parents; you’ve never wanted for anything. You should try growing up in a council house with an alcoholic mother and a father who beats his wife and his daughter, who raped his wife and his daughter. I lost my virginity at the ripe old age of eight years old and was raped and sodomised near enough every night until I was ten, until he grew bored of me because I was too old for him. But now look at you! You’re practically glowing you’re so in love with your handsome boyfriend. I think you’ve even lost weight off your porky thighs and bum.’
‘Now look here. She’s been very kind to you giving you some money…’
‘It’s okay Simon, let her speak.’
‘Yeah, you have lost some weight, and you’ve actually found a bra that fits. From the little porker that used to waddle around school, you’ve turned into a beautiful woman Michelle, happy and content. And it is with these words I’d like to leave you with today. I hope you both die a painful death in total and utter misery. If you’re lucky enough to have children, I hope they die too, also in total and utter misery. I wish you both a long life full of trauma, heartbreak and misery so then you can understand what it’s like to be me, to have lived my life and the misery I have suffered. I don’t know if it is possible to curse people, but I call upon all the gods in the world to curse you two now to a life full of pain, suffering and misery!’
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