by Leslie Kelly
“I said, put that thing away,” Anna snapped. “You’re being ridiculous.”
“You can’t parade your boyfriend around in my own backyard and expect me not to do anything about it,” Obi-Wan said, swinging the plastic bat menacingly. It was about the most passionate she’d ever seen the man, whose Zen attitude usually rivaled Buddha’s. “I’ll bop you right between those long ears if you don’t stay away from my wife, you no-talent ham!”
Ahh. This was the actor, the one Anna was supposedly having the affair with. He wasn’t much to look at. At least, not from the neck down, being scrawny and pale, with liver-spotted hands that shook as he grabbed Anna’s shoulders and used her as a human shield.
She glared at him over her shoulder and shook the hands off, obviously none too pleased with him, either. “You knock it off or I’ll let him get you. I can’t believe you spread those awful lies about me—about us!”
There came a muffled jumble of words in response.
“Oh, take that ridiculous thing off,” Anna said, skewering him with a look. “I don’t care about your method acting or that tonight’s the final dress rehearsal. You look like a ninny.”
Then she turned back to her husband. “I owe you an apology.”
Obi-Wan lowered the bat, but instead of looking relieved, an expression of sheer horror filled his face. “You mean…it’s true? You’re admitting it?”
Anna walked closer, putting her hand on her husband’s chest. “No, it’s absolutely not true. But I had no idea about these rumors that were going around—” she jerked her thumb over her shoulder, gesturing toward the ass-head “—courtesy of him. I thought you were just being paranoid. Then I heard him saying some awful lies.”
Obi-Wan lifted the bat and tried to get around her again. “Let me at him.”
“No, no, it’s all right,” she insisted, “he’s nothing to worry about, nothing but a Boba Fett.”
A brief pause, then they both laughed together. Xander gave Mimi a curious look, but she didn’t take time to explain. Obi-Wan and Anna had their own language, and she’d once told Mimi that Obi-Wan considered that particular Star Wars character an ignoble, dishonorable villain, not even worthy of using a lightsaber on. Unlike Darth Vader. Or something like that.
“And you might break Tuck’s bat, or damage the costume, which I’ll end up having to repair.”
The actor, who had struggled to get the full-head mask off without assistance, stared bug-eyed at the married couple. They’d been fighting a moment before, but now looked about to melt into each other’s arms.
Frankly, Mimi thought the “other man” looked better as a donkey.
“I’m sorry,” he stammered, “I just got carried away with my role.”
“Well, you’ve played the role of horse’s ass all your life, Fred,” said Obi-Wan. “So this shouldn’t have been that much of a stretch!”
The nervous little man stammered more apologies, then slipped out of the yard practically unnoticed. Anna and Obi-Wan suddenly had eyes only for each other. They were going back into one of their madly-in-love phases, which were among the happiest times to live in this house. Because when they were “on,” there was no couple more romantic or more wildly in love. As if even the fireflies of the woods surrounding the house had gotten the news, they all suddenly started to illuminate, setting the early evening a-twinkle. Love just seemed to have the power to light the world.
Mimi wondered if the owners of the house might soon have a little competition in the most-romantic/most-in-love department. Because she and Xander’s romance hadn’t exactly been storybook perfect, but oh, was it ever wonderful.
And she was falling in love with him. Madly, crazily. Completely. She’d never felt anything like this in her life, had no other definition or explanation, and knew he’d captured her mind, body and soul. No man had ever come close to making her feel the things she felt when she was with him, physically and emotionally.
It would probably be a while before she would be ready to reveal that to him, considering their relationship was still so new, so fragile. But someday she would, and she hoped he’d be as glad to hear the words as she would be to say them.
“So Grandpa’s not gonna beat up the horse-man?”
“Definitely not,” said Helen, ruffling her little boy’s hair. She then glanced toward Xander and Mimi. “Welcome. Join the insanity.”
Mimi laughed. “Hey, you’re the one who decided to move back here.”
Her tender smile as she eyed her parents, now kissing in the sunset, told Mimi that Helen didn’t regret that decision one bit.
With Obi-Wan and Anna now back together, the evening took on even more of a celebratory tone. Will, the quiet writer from the second floor, came down with his famous homemade sangria, Anna had whipped up her special potato salad and everyone shared food and laughter as the sun set.
As strange as it seemed, to Mimi, this felt more like a family dinner than any of the Sunday-afternoon gatherings she spent at her parents’ estate. Because, as much as she cared about her mother, father and extended family, she was never entirely sure the real Mimi was present at those types of events, or if she was just the Mimi she was expected to be.
Here, she didn’t even have to give it a second thought. She could say what she thought and mean what she said. Could let out an unladylike snort when she laughed. Could eat a hot dog without a lifted brow and a reminder of calorie count from her anorexic aunt. Could laugh with all the others when Anna reminded everyone of the time Mimi had run out of dishwasher detergent and used the regular liquid soap in her machine, causing bubbles to slowly spread throughout most of the downstairs before anybody had noticed. She could be a bit of a klutz and laugh at herself, rather than stressing so hard to be careful and cautious that she ended up dropping and breaking something she’d been anxious to keep from harm.
And she could do it all with Xander’s hand curled in hers, or his arm across her shoulders.
That was one of the hardest things of all to picture—bringing Xander around her family. Not that she was worried about how her family would react to him, but rather how he would react to them!
He had told her enough about his upbringing that she knew he had strong family values. He was happy with his middle-class idea of the good life, and had a total faith in the equality of all, no matter their race, sex or bank account.
Xander had been shocked by her father’s sexist attitude toward her. She shuddered, not even wanting to imagine what he’d say if he ever realized her parents actually still had those horrid, racist lawn-jockey statues on either side of the driveway leading to their house. Mimi cringed whenever she saw them, had begged her folks to get rid of them, and had even intentionally knocked them over with her car on more than one occasion. But there they remained, what her parents saw as quaint and she considered horribly offensive.
She’d hate for Xander to think she shared those attitudes. And even though she didn’t, there were times when she found herself having to fulfill the role in which she’d been cast in other ways. She had to wear the clothes and the jewelry, socialize with those people, move in that circle.
What would happen if he ever saw the Mimi she had to be when she was in that world? Would he know it wasn’t the real her? Would he still want her? Would he still even like her?
She was dwelling on that a little too much, letting it interfere with her evening, so she forced the thoughts out of her head. By eight o’clock she’d laughed away most of the dark reminders of the day, and the last thing she wanted was to go back to the dour mental place she’d been in when she’d gotten home from work.
But suddenly, something happened that made her realize she might not be that lucky. Because the side gate was swinging inward. And two familiar heads were walking through it, about to crash the happy party.
Her father. And Dimitri.
“Oh, hell,” she snapped, her heart sinking and all the delicious food she’d just consumed churning in her stomach.
/> “What’s wrong?” Xander asked. He turned around to see what had caught her attention, and his hand tightened on her knee. “It’s okay. I’ll bet you ten bucks they’re here to apologize.”
“I just wanted one evening when I didn’t have to deal with it,” she muttered.
“I know. But I’m here.” He gestured to the others around the table, who’d also fallen silent, watching the new arrivals walk across the lawn. “We’re all here for you.”
Mimi nodded her thanks, then slowly rose from her seat. She cast a quick glance at Helen, wondering how she was taking Dimitri’s arrival, and noticed the pretty brunette seemed fine. She hadn’t been caught off-guard this time, like she had on Saturday. Helen seemed to have her calm-and-collected mask in place, ready to deal with a man she still very obviously had feelings for.
Forcing herself to relax, Mimi walked to her father and pressed a kiss on his cheek. Then she nodded at Dimitri. “This is a surprise.”
“Honey,” said her dad, “I just couldn’t wait until tomorrow to make sure you understand how sorry I am about how I acted this morning. Knowing Dimitri felt the same way, I got him to bring me over here to see you.”
Dimitri nodded in confirmation. “I’m terribly sorry, too, Mimi.”
She managed a tight smile. “Thanks. But you’ve both already said that. You didn’t need to come out here and say it again.”
“Well, it wasn’t just an apology we came out here to offer,” said Dad. “We’ve been at the office, talking about the whole thing, about you, how well you handled it. We couldn’t be prouder.”
Yippie. But not. Because, again, hurt twisted in her gut.
It was the “we” that got to her. Her father could have done this on his own. Instead, he’d felt the need to include Dimitri, who’d been a stranger to them all of six months ago.
If it had been a boss apologizing, and they’d done it at work, it would have been different. But they’d come here to her home, which made it personal. And personally speaking, she was sick of feeling like she, herself, was never quite good enough for her father to bother with on his own.
Her father couldn’t have made it much more clear that he was disappointed to have never had a son, only a daughter. But would it have killed him to, just once in a while, make the effort to pretend he was okay with it?
“Maybe we should go inside,” she said. “Talk in private.”
Dad gestured toward the others at the table. “Nonsense, we’re among your friends, aren’t we?” He managed to not convey the frank shock he usually expressed that she enjoyed socializing with her neighbors…or that she lived here at all. “Besides, I’m sure you’ll want to share your good news with them.”
“Good news?” she asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.
“Of course.” He came closer, dropping his hands onto her shoulders. “You proved something to me today. You proved you’re a lot more than a pretty face with my last name.”
She gasped.
That’s a compliment, he’s trying to offer you a compliment.
Repeating that mantra in her head didn’t stop her from feeling like she’d just been kicked in the nuts. If she had nuts. Which she didn’t, of course. But she had to imagine it was at least as painful as hearing your own father say something so shitty.
At the table, she saw Xander rise to his feet, a dark frown on his face. He’d obviously heard, and looked ready to walk over and give her some backup. Not wanting to go into that whole conversation yet, she deterred him with a tiny shake of her head.
“Thanks,” she managed to choke out.
Still not even realizing how badly he’d hurt and insulted her, her clueless father continued. “You’ve shown me that you’ve got the stuff to go higher. You’re getting a promotion.”
This time, her gasp wasn’t caused by pain but by genuine surprise. “Really?”
“Yes. I’ve been thinking about my retirement in a few years.”
Her heart raced. Was this finally going to happen? Had he really changed his mind about giving her his job when he retired? After all this effort, all the sixty-hour work weeks, the stressful meetings, the long business trips, had it really just taken a cartoon penis to give her what she’d always wanted?
Her dad dropped an arm across her shoulders, and stepped closer to Dimitri so the three of them stood within a small circle. “And with Dimitri there to always advise and guide you, I think I can allow the two of you to run the company when I’m gone. Together. As man and wife.”
* * *
THOUGH MR. BURDETTE had lowered his voice a little, everyone at the table heard the last bit of the conversation taking place across the lawn. Including Xander, who immediately coughed into his fist when Mimi’s father made a couple of huge assumptions about his daughter.
First, that she’d need anybody’s help or guidance to run the company in which she’d already invested all of her adult life.
Second, that it would be Dimitri she’d need that help from.
And third—big, huge, ridiculous assumption—that she’d marry the dude in order to get the job she already damn well deserved.
This time, he couldn’t stop himself from jumping in. He strode over to Mimi and the idiots on either side of her, snapping, “That’s nuts.”
Mimi, whose mouth was still hanging open in shock, as if she couldn’t even find any words, eyed him gratefully.
“Excuse me, who, exactly, are you?” Burdette asked, one brow going up in a supercilious expression.
“I’m Xander McKinley,” he said. “Your daughter’s…friend.”
Her father might not have understood the pause, but the ex-boyfriend sure did. Dimitri’s whole body jerked, his back going so straight he could have been set down at the edge of a pool and used as a diving board. He couldn’t have looked more shocked if he’d opened the Wall Street Journal and found out his portfolio bubble had suddenly burst.
Well, maybe one bubble had. His I’m-irreplaceable bubble.
“Well, as my daughter’s friend, I would think you’d be congratulating her about now,” her father said, looking back and forth between Mimi and the two men. This time, he didn’t sound arrogant, but rather genuinely confused. “She’s getting the job she’s always wanted, and a marriage proposal… .” He suddenly broke off, flushing lightly. “I apologize, Dimitri, I realize we hadn’t talked about that part on the way over. Perhaps we should have taken Mimi’s suggestion and gone inside so you could ask her properly.”
We should have gone inside. Meaning the proud papa would have been standing right there to give his blessing over what should be a very private moment between two people.
Of course, that moment wasn’t gonna happen. No way, no how. Not between those two people, anyway.
To give him credit, Dimitri now looked as lost for words as Mimi. His throat wobbled as he swallowed. And, for some reason, instead of glancing at the woman he was being ordered to propose to, he cast a quick, anxious stare toward the table. Toward Helen.
Xander watched as she stared back, the color draining out of her pretty face. When she mumbled an excuse about needing to go inside for something and dashed into the house, Dimitri took the tiniest step, as if to go after her. But that’s as far as he got. Whether he was held back by his feelings for Mimi, his concerns about his job or just gutlessness, Xander couldn’t say.
Mimi finally found her voice. “Dad, this is madness. I’m not going to marry Dimitri.”
“Of course you are, it’s all arranged!”
Dimitri cleared his throat. “Now look, Philip, I know you said you wanted…”
“They’re not even dating anymore,” Xander snapped, unable to stay out of the conversation. Something inside him rebelled at the very mention of Mimi being with anybody except himself. “She dumped him last weekend. They’re finished, and she’s moved on.”
All three of them turned their focus directly on him. Except, Mimi’s didn’t stay there. She dropped her lashes quickly, hiding her eyes. A
nd Xander started to feel an unpleasant tingling in the base of his spine.
“You did break up with him, right?” he asked her, needing her to confirm it.
“No, she didn’t,” Dimitri said.
Xander froze, so shocked he didn’t know what to say.
Mimi had lied to him? She was still with this dude, who might want to propose to her, but might also want to run in after his ex? And both of them were dancing on the ends of the puppet strings being jerked by a Southern millionaire who had obviously been reincarnated from an age when fathers did shit like arrange their adult daughters’ marriages to men who would “advise and guide” them.
Crazy. It was all entirely, completely crazy.