“Will you not sit?”
“I prefer not to. Say what you have to say. Let us have this conversation, so I can be gone.”
He strolled toward her. “Aunt Henrietta visited Easterbrook today. She woke him early this morning to complain about your plans to leave her house. She now believes she must move in with him in order to find another governess.”
She was wrong. He was not going to ask her to be his mistress. His thirst no doubt had been slaked yesterday. Now she was merely the servant with inconvenient plans, and he was just Easterbrook’s lackey.
She strolled away, step for step. “Your aunt’s design on Easterbrook’s house is Easterbrook’s problem, and perhaps yours. It is not mine.”
They both stopped, newly positioned in the magnificent library, but just as distant. “My brother is most insistent that you be cajoled into staying.”
“He sent the wrong knight on this errand. But then, he does not know why it would be hopeless if you spoke for him.”
“Actually, I think he suspects.”
“Then he is a little stupid to send you. However, if that is the reason for this abduction—”
“Hardly an abduction, Alexia. A slight detour.”
“You may inform him you did your duty, but the lady, upon learning your mission, was unmoved, even if she was considerably relieved.”
He walked again, but not in her direction. He strolled in front of the bookcases, thinking.
“You expected a proposition when you arrived here, didn’t you?”
How had things become so muddled? She was insulted that he did not want her as his mistress, even though she knew the offer should be the bigger offense. “One is due. There are rules to seduction, aren’t there? For gentlemen, at least. Or perhaps you only saw me as fit for a quick dalliance, such as men of your station enjoy with servants.”
“I cannot blame you for thinking the worst of me, and you can upbraid me at length in due time. However, right now I only ask that you reconsider your decision to leave my aunt’s house.”
“I am sure you will see that she is not too inconvenienced.”
“Her distress may be self-centered, but my concern is for you alone. Your decision is unwise.”
“I weighed it most carefully.”
“You will be vulnerable and alone.”
“I am now. You of all men know that. You saw it at once.”
He stopped pacing abruptly. “What do you mean by that?”
“If that had been my family’s home, and my father had received you and my mother saw you at parties, if I had even still been the poor relative in the Longworths’ house, would you have done it?”
Surprise and discomfort passed over his expression. Then he assumed the sternness that so often masked his thoughts.
It was enough of a reaction to release her dammedup insulted pride. “There are rules to seduction, as I said. In going into service I lost the protection of the best rules, the ones reserved for daughters of good families. Here is the truth of it. If I had been a woman worthy of the best rules, I do not think you would have even noticed me. It was my fall that made me interesting, the fact I had tumbled outside the demands of strict honor. You are an intelligent man with efficient habits. I doubt you waste desire on ladies whom the rules make unattainable.”
“Fine, I am a damned scoundrel. Right now we will return to your decision to leave that house. Do you even have enough to buy a room in which to sleep?”
“Do you think I am so stupid as to make such a move if I did not?”
“When what you have is gone, who will provide for you?”
“I will provide for myself. I am turning to one of my other options. The first, being a governess, did not suit me.”
Surprise cracked his mask. “Since you are incapable of theft, that leaves the hats. You are taking employment in a shop?”
“Perhaps it was the other option that I now contemplate. There was one more. Maybe you are not the only man who is pursuing me and I accepted someone else’s protection.”
She confounded him again. “I do not believe that.”
“Of course you don’t. I am not the sort of woman who would dazzle several men at once. Actually, I am not the sort to dazzle any at all, which puts an unpleasant light on recent events.”
“I do not believe it because it is not in your nature.”
“Perhaps it is. I always assumed it would be hideous to be kissed by a man whom I did not love, but I was wrong. I have discovered that love and passion are not the same thing.”
She received a deep, direct gaze for that, the kind that would have flustered her not long ago. She was not nearly as afraid of this man today as she had been in the past, however. Yesterday had leveled the field between them quite a bit.
“You came here thinking I would proposition you, but you entered the house,” he said. “You feared hearing it, but you intended to listen. You are willing to consider it.”
It took her a moment to get her response out of her throat. “Yes.”
“Because of the pleasure?”
“Because of the money. A woman facing an uncertain future, a woman seeing her family in dire need, will consider anything.”
“Would it not make more sense to marry? Most women consider that first.”
“Then find me a man of substance who will marry a woman of my age, countenance, fortune, and stained virtue.”
“You would marry out of practicality? I assumed you would not. It was not on your list.”
No, it was not. It should have been, unlikely though that option would have been. She had always dismissed it as impossible, but in truth she had rebelled at settling for such a match after once believing she would have much more.
“I would seek such a man for you, but there is always the good chance you will not care for him,” he said.
“Then I will have much in common with many other married women. But we speak nonsense, and my carriage awaits.” She turned on her heel and headed toward the doorway.
With a few strides he blocked her path. “Actually, my carriage awaits, and it will wait a little longer.”
“Easterbrook’s carriage, if we are going to be particular.”
“Not yours, however.”
“Mine for the day.”
“Only because I was undressing you in my mind while you negotiated.”
“Then you should clear your thoughts before you negotiate in the future.”
“That is excellent advice, Alexia. Considering the direction this conversation has taken, very timely advice as well.”
“There is nothing to negotiate.”
“You just invited a proposition.”
For a large library, it suddenly felt very small. Even so, the door was far away. She attempted to maintain her plain-speaking stance, but the ground beneath her wobbled.
“Do not waste your time, unless you intend to offer carte blanche.”
He laughed quietly and moved closer. “That would be reckless. I would never invite such ruin.”
“No, probably not. I expect that before you negotiate, you calculate the accounting with precision.”
“Always. Therefore, I am aware that your lack of affection for me requires some enhancements in the offer.” He made a display of thinking it over. “A house of your own. An army of servants and a cook. A carriage with a matched pair, for your use alone, and, of course, a new wardrobe. How does that sound?”
She stared at him. Her shock amused him. He made a little gesture under her chin, to suggest she might close her gaping mouth.
“Oh, and jewelry, of course. This, to start.” He removed a velvet pouch from his coat, lifted one of her hands, and emptied its contents into her palm.
A necklace of rubies and gold dripped around her fingers. The glitter mesmerized her. She could not move.
“Are they real?”
“There are rules, as you said. One is that a gentleman does not give a lady fake jewels.”
“Do I get to
keep it, no matter what?”
“Yes.”
“The house and coach too?”
“The jewels and wardrobe are yours. The house and coach will be mine but at your command.”
Being able to keep the house when he tired of her would be better, but she could see where that was expecting too much. And the jewels alone would go a long way to ensuring her future and seeing that Rose and Irene had a second chance.
“And in return for this generosity?”
“You are mine alone for as long as I say.”
“I require a more complete answer. I have heard of things that would not be worth all the jewels in England to endure.”
He took the necklace from her hand and stepped behind her to fasten it on her neck. “Are you implying that I might be a pervert, Alexia?”
“Goodness, no, but you have never married, and I just thought that perhaps—”
“We could call in the solicitors and draw up a contract. One that lists my preferences and your agreement or lack of it, act by act.”
“I merely thought that you are being rather generous for such as me and that there may be a misunderst—”
“You discount your own worth too quickly. As for what happens in bed, we will negotiate all of that as honestly as we have this.”
She felt the jewels on her neck. She saw them sparkle beneath her face in a looking glass on the other side of the room. She looked much more sophisticated and pretty than she had just minutes ago. Hayden’s dark form backed hers in the reflection, but he was looking down at her, not at their images.
“So in return I will be your lover.”
His hands circled her waist. His head dipped. The warmth of his lips pressed her neck. “Yes. Oh, and you will also help with Caroline’s finishing.”
She giggled, because his kisses were tickling her. All of her. She had the shocking thought that a man’s kiss felt more exciting when you were wearing jewels worth several hundred pounds. “Your aunt will hardly agree to that if I am your mistress.”
He kissed her nape, and a thrill spiraled down to the soreness that still gently throbbed. “She certainly would not accept you then. However, this is not so much a proposition as a proposal. I am speaking of marriage.”
More shocked than when she saw the necklace, she stared at his bent head in the looking glass. She stepped away and turned to face him.
“Marriage? Why?”
He laughed and began to embrace her. She slipped out of his reach.
“You were correct. If you had still been living with the Longworths, if you had a father or family, if you were not alone and vulnerable and poor, I would have never seduced you. I would have wanted to, but those protections would have checked me.”
“So now you have concluded the best rules apply to me after all, and you make the obligatory proposal. I confess that I thought you had more…independence.”
“It is not only the rules. Your forthright nature, which has probably put off most men, happens to suit me. We are much alike in our sensible ways. We will know what we have in each other and treat each other with more honesty too.”
He was itemizing what she brought to this marriage. The list struck her as fairly dismal. “You gain little from this. You do not need any wife. If you have decided you want one, you should find a woman with a fortune or style or beauty.”
“In your own way, you have all three.”
The flattery disarmed her, as it had in the library the day of that first kiss. He said it to make the best of an awkward situation, but her heart smiled anyway.
It was the jump from mistress to wife that confounded her. She had all but agreed to the former. He did not need to offer the latter.
“Why did you not press your advantage?”
“I try not to be ruthless, even when a pretty lady is willing to allow it. I have behaved badly with you, but I will not be responsible for your final fall. I want you, however. In such cases a gentleman offers marriage.”
“That want, peculiar as it is, will pass.”
“If it does, I will have a wife who does not expect me to lie to her, any more than she misunderstands that want now.”
She should be elated. A wealthy, handsome man from one of England’s best families had just proposed. A joy did want to take hold of her, but it could not find an anchor in her heart.
Being his mistress would be limited. It was not irrevocable. As she had said that day on the house tour, it was an honest form of trade.
Being his wife—that meant a lifetime. Forever. Even so, she should grab the security. She should not miss this chance. But deep in her heart, a girl who had once thrilled to love’s exciting romance stared out, appalled. It was one thing to accept she would probably never know that again. It was another to take the step that would make it forever impossible.
Nor would this be just any practical marriage. He was Hayden Rothwell. She heard Timothy’s slurred voice damning her. She saw Rose turning away. She would not be able to help them if she did this. Rose would not accept a penny from Rothwell’s wife.
He watched her closely as she sorted her reactions. She suspected he knew her decision before she did. After one final, long gaze in the looking glass, she unfastened the necklace.
She was about to do the most impractical thing she had ever imagined.
She walked over and placed the necklace on the mantelpiece. “It is a wonderful offer for any woman, but I cannot accept. As I said when I entered, this was not the day for this conversation.”
“But it was a day to proposition you, I take it.”
“Perhaps so. I had begun justifying that temporary practicality after I left Rose today.”
“You are an amazing woman, Alexia.” Since an edge of anger tightened the statement, it did not sound like a compliment. “The Longworths will be far better off if you marry me.”
“Ah, you do know how to press your advantage when you choose to. However, you are wrong. They will never forgive me if I marry you. They would never speak to me again.”
“They will come around. But this is not about them. It is about you and me.”
“They are all the family I have.”
He allowed her to walk past him to the door. His voice followed her. “It is not only because they are your family. It is about him too. They are your bond to Benjamin. Despite what you learned yesterday, you still hold him in your heart.”
His accusation made her throat burn. She could not deny that despite the new distance and new truths, Ben’s memory still touched something deep inside her. “Is that so wrong?”
She braced herself for a blunt response, the same one that her own mind quietly spoke. Yes, it was wrong. She was stupid.
Instead, he smiled with a warm kindness that touched her. “No, it is not so wrong, Alexia. It is very…romantic.”
A cleansing clarity entered her. She might have blinked away a latent drowsiness after waking from sleep.
It was romantic. Hopelessly, childishly so. A handsome man of significant wealth had just offered marriage, and there were not many good reasons for any woman to refuse. For a woman in her situation—poor, homeless, adrift, and ruined—there wasn’t a single one that did not sound like a bad line of poetry.
“You are correct, Hayden. Sometimes I forget myself and indulge in sentimentality.” She gestured to the mantel. “You promise it is mine, to do with as I choose?”
“Any jewels are yours. I expect there will be others.”
If I am pleased. He did not say it, but she heard it. The negotiations of becoming a wife were not much different from those of becoming a mistress, when you got down to it.
“There will also be a settlement, of course,” he said simply, although his expression revealed sharp awareness that she had reopened negotiations.
“I bring nothing to a settlement.”
“I will provide for you. Whether I live or die, you will never count pennies again.”
Never again. The lure of eternal security had
the effect he intended. He offered a safety and peace she had not known since she was too young to understand how close she walked to poverty.
“Can I assume we will have the usual sort of marriage, such as I see in polite society?” she asked.
“I will not be around much, if that is what you fear.”
Except at night. Oddly enough, that part of marriage seemed the least onerous and dangerous. With time he would go elsewhere for that too, as was normal in aristocratic marriages. She might, as well, if she ever fell in love again.
“You will have your own friends and your own life.” He moved closer as he answered a question her racing thoughts had not considered yet.
“Even Phaedra? I do not want you forbidding—”
“Even Miss Blair. I do not approve of men who interfere with their wives’ interests and friends.”
She tallied up the obligations and payments in this marriage. The balance tilted so much in her favor it could not be denied. If one had to accept a practical match, one could not do better than marrying Lord Hayden Rothwell. That was so obvious that even Rose would see it eventually.
She silenced the final, whispered objections of the silly girl inside her. She took a deep breath, walked back to the mantel, and picked up the necklace. “I accept your proposal, Hayden. I will marry you.”
CHAPTER
TWELVE
They made good time back to town, but then a coach and four with a crest on the door usually did. Hayden had Alexia ride with him, although he guessed she would rather not. He spent the time contemplating what marriage to this woman would mean. Her expression suggested her thoughts dwelled on the future too.
He was doing the right thing, there was no denying it, but he could not evade the notion that he also tempted both history and fate. Sometimes the right thing was not the best thing. Even though he showed the honor his father preached, he wondered if he would also prove the old man correct about the impulse of passion and the misery it created.
Hayden’s mother had not married a man she loved either but instead accepted the proposal of the peer who bedazzled her that first season with his power and wealth. Ten years later, after giving her husband three sons, she had asked him to let her go to the army officer whom she had always held in her heart. Whatever warmth there had been in their marriage died the day he refused.
The Rules of Seduction Page 15