It had been like this since they had left the villa to go to the TV station. Marco had tried to reason with her at first but she was in no mood to listen and somehow his words just seemed to make everything worse.
‘You know you are being ridiculous,’ he had muttered in the car. ‘I don’t know why you are blowing a conversation with Sarah Heart up out of all proportion.’
‘Am I?’
She had seethed with hurt and anger.
‘Yes, you are. I told you about Sarah’s ideas up front.’
‘You didn’t tell me you were planning a PR exercise involving me behind my back!’
‘It wasn’t a PR exercise, it was a working weekend that was also supposed to be fun. And I didn’t plan things behind your back. I made a passing remark to Sarah over dinner about how well we get on in the office and how you seem to be very in tune with my theories … and that’s true … isn’t it?’
The question was still causing unpleasant little ripples to spread throughout her body … She was accusing Marco of not being completely honest with her about his motivations this weekend—but she hadn’t been completely honest with him either.
And there lay the crux of their problem. She was emotionally torn because she was in love with him. And he couldn’t understand why she was so upset … because hey … it had just been a bit of fun anyway.
Charlie wondered if he had mentioned her at all during his interview on TV. She had sat waiting for him in the hospitality suite and had watched him on the monitor, but she hadn’t understood a word because it was all in Italian. When the inevitable question about his personal life had arisen—what had he said?
Probably something along the lines of yes I’m dating my secretary. I feel very comfortable around her.
She glanced over at Marco, who had been flicking through the in-flight magazine, but he put it down now. He glanced over at her and their eyes met.
He looked so cool and collected and so damned handsome that instantly the raw pain of earlier sprang into ferocious life again. Being emotionally detached was too hard, she thought wretchedly. But she was going to have to try. And at the same time she hoped that he wasn’t feeling quite so damn comfortable around her now.
‘Have you calmed down now?’ he asked quietly.
The cool enquiry just made her feel a hundred times worse. He was so damn cavalier!
When she thought about how she had opened up to him this weekend … tentatively trusted him … luxuriated in his warm embrace—and even dared hope he might return her feelings one day—it just made her want to either hit him or cry at her own stupidity.
‘No, I haven’t calmed down, Marco.’ She was really pleased by how composed she sounded. There was no hint of turmoil in her voice. ‘I don’t appreciate being used in some cheap stunt.’
‘Well, that certainly wasn’t my intention!’
When she made no reply to that he frowned. ‘Come on, Charlie, let’s put this behind us and be friends again … hmm?’
Friends … the word grated mockingly inside her.
‘I wouldn’t have minded if you’d been honest with me,’ she muttered, trying to ignore the little voice that was calling her a liar. ‘I would have played the PR part to perfection … I mean, I understand the score, for heaven’s sake.’ She took a deep breath and forced herself to add, ‘We were having a bit of light-hearted fun!’
‘Exactly.’ He looked at her with that teasing gleam in his eye that she knew so well. ‘Look, I genuinely didn’t think twice about Sarah’s plans with the paparazzi. And I’m sorry you feel that I misled you. Let’s just forget about it … hmm? And we can have lots more fun.’
He reached to take hold of her hand but she pulled away. If he touched her she didn’t think she could maintain this air of indifference.
He was so arrogantly sure of himself! ‘Yes, OK, we’ll just forget about it,’ she said stiffly. ‘After all, we have to work together, don’t we?’ She swallowed hard and looked away from him out of the window.
If he wanted Ms Practicality, well, then, he could damn well have Ms Practicality in spades, she thought angrily. But she didn’t want any more fun with him. It hurt too much.
The pilot announced that they would shortly be landing. Marco frowned and settled back in his seat. Obviously Charlie hadn’t forgiven him! She was blowing the whole thing out of proportion … and he felt annoyed by the way she was being so cold towards him now. It wasn’t a reaction he was used to where women were concerned.
He told himself to just forget about it. He’d apologised for any hurt feelings that he hadn’t intended to cause. The weekend had been casual and the PR stunt had been Sarah’s damn project, not his.
So why was he even thinking about it now? He had a meeting with Professor Hunt lined up for seven forty-five. And there were some extra notes he needed to deal with before then.
But he was furious with Sarah and his anger encroached on the businesslike thoughts. He had only just succeeded in getting Charlie to relax around him and now Sarah had ruined everything. How dared she say something so damn insensitive?
The last thing he wanted was to hurt Charlie … He glanced over at her. She was watching the TV screen on the seat in front of her, but he had the feeling she wasn’t giving it her full attention. She looked so vulnerable sometimes that he wanted to reach out and touch her, take her into his arms and feel her melt against him in that incredible warm way of hers. She had been wonderful to be around … she was passionate, with a great sense of humour and she was great in bed. He was going to miss her tonight, in fact …
The plane touched down on the runway.
Marco pulled his attention away from Charlie and unfastened his seat belt. Outside the London afternoon looked grey and miserable, and there was a fine drizzle—the type that drenched you through without you realising it was happening.
As the aircraft came to a halt Marco stood up to get his briefcase and Charlie’s hand luggage. ‘Would you like to come back to my place for a coffee?’ he asked casually as they walked together out into the terminal.
‘No, thank you; I want to get home to Jack.’ She smiled lightly.
‘OK, well … you get your luggage and I’ll go get the car and I’ll see you outside in, say … twenty minutes?’
Charlie shook her head. ‘I’ll get a taxi, Marco. You may as well just go. There’s no point you waiting around here when you have no luggage to collect.’
He frowned and for a moment his eyes raked over her face. She looked so young suddenly. ‘But I want to see you home,’ he insisted.
She desperately wanted to go with him and to forget the hurt that was insistently flowing through her. She longed to just lean in against him and kiss him …
But there was only so much pretence that she could handle and she had her pride. ‘There’s no point, Marco. You have an appointment, and don’t forget, those notes you need are in a new file—’
‘To hell with the files and the damn meeting, Charlie!’ He sounded suddenly annoyed. ‘Look, we’ve had a lovely weekend—why spoil it now?’
‘I wasn’t aware that I was spoiling anything.’ She remained cool. ‘Yes, it’s been a nice weekend but we both have other commitments to get back to.’
What exactly was happening here? Marco wondered in agitation. He was usually the one making comments like this when a woman was coming on too strong!
He met her deep green guileless gaze. ‘Yes, I suppose you are right … Professor Hunt is a bit of a stickler for time.’ He forced himself to say the words and to sound positive and practical, but somehow for once in his life the feelings about work felt false.
Actually he couldn’t have given a damn about Professor Hunt! He frowned. ‘Are you sure I can’t give you a lift?’
There was a moment’s pause. Marco was barely aware of the crowds flowing around them as he looked at her. He wanted her to change her mind. He hated this sudden feeling between them that they were just strangers who had slept together … the wa
rmth and passion of the weekend were too strong in his mind for him to be happy with that.
‘Quite sure.’
‘OK.’ When she made no attempt to weaken he leaned closer … and then he saw her expression change. He saw a flicker of emotional intensity for just a moment. He smiled and then his lips crushed against hers in a passionately possessive way.
He felt a moment’s resistance and then she kissed him back, her lips sweetly submissive and tantalising.
‘See you in the office tomorrow,’ he said with a smile as he stepped back.
She would forgive him, he thought with pleasure as he walked away.
This time tomorrow they would be working out the dates for her to join him in America.
Charlie opened her eyes and blinked against the early-morning sunlight. For just a moment she imagined that she was back in Italy with Marco and the feeling was joyous … then she stretched a hand out into the cool, empty side of the bed and the dark clouds of memory closed around her heart.
She groaned and buried her head in against the pillow. Sleep had been elusive last night, her mind going around in tortuous circles over her feelings for Marco. It hadn’t solved anything because she still loved him and hated herself for the stupidity. How could you love someone when it was clear that they would never return your feelings?
The thought of facing him in the office today was unbearable and yet bitter-sweet all at the same time. How she was going to maintain a cool, professional distance she just didn’t know.
Jack came running into the room. ‘Morning, Mummy!’ He leapt in beside her and she smiled and drew him close.
She had a little boy to take care of and responsibilities. She couldn’t afford the time to be heartbroken, she told herself firmly. She needed this job with Marco and even if she could just stick it out for twelve months it would give her enough money to get herself back on track financially, pay for the things that needed doing around the house, pay her bills off … and then she could find some other position.
The sensible thought galvanised her into action and she pushed back the bedcovers. She was just going to have to forget her feelings for Marco.
It was the usual Monday-morning rush to get out of the house. Once they were in the car Jack put her CD of love songs into the player and turned up the volume.
‘I don’t think I’m in the mood for that today, Jack.’ She reached over and turned it off.
It was probably listening to music like that that had got her heart in this mess in the first place, she told herself fiercely. Marco was right about one thing: love was a dangerous emotion.
She dropped Jack off at school and headed for Marco’s house with a heavy heart. It was the first time she had felt like this since she had started working for him. Usually she felt happy at the thought of spending the day with him … happy and excited. She had enjoyed being around him, enjoyed the little smiles he sent her way every now and then or the casual touch of his hand as it brushed against hers … Heck! Why hadn’t she seen the fact that she was falling in love with him? she wondered in despair. It seemed so obvious now.
She parked her car next to Marco’s and checked her appearance in the vanity mirror. Her hair was drawn back from her face and secured neatly in a pony-tail. Her make-up was applied with a careful skill to hide the shadows under her eyes and she had put a brighter shade of lipstick on today to cheer herself up. She would pass, she thought irately as she flicked the mirror shut. And she couldn’t put this off any longer.
Taking a deep breath, she hurried into the house and up to the office. She could handle this, she told herself. She would be cool and practical and distant …
Her confidence dipped, however, as soon as she walked in. Marco was perched on the edge of her desk, flicking through the work calendar. It didn’t help that he looked so handsome in a dark grey suit.
‘Morning, Marco.’ She tried to make her voice sound breezily indifferent.
He looked up and smiled at her and her heart missed a beat. Suddenly she was thinking about those mornings in Italy when he had wished her buon giorno and kissed her with steamy passion … Hastily she looked away and hung her jacket on the stand next to the door.
‘So how are you today?’ Marco asked quietly, his eyes following her movements.
‘Fine, thanks; did your meeting with the professor go well?’ It was the only thing she could think of to say that would help maintain a businesslike atmosphere. But inside she felt as if she was dying.
‘Yes, thanks.’
To her consternation he made no attempt to move out of her way as she walked over towards her desk. Instead his eyes seemed to rake over her with sharp intensity.
‘How was Jack last night?’ he asked. ‘I bet he was pleased to see you.’
‘Yes, he was.’ For a moment she remembered Jack hurtling across the room to hug her fiercely. She had wanted to cry as she had held him close. She wanted to cry again now. Her emotions were all over the place. She hadn’t felt this level of hurt since the day her ex-husband walked out. And that angered her. She had promised herself that no man would ever make her feel like this again.
‘Did he like his presents?’
‘He loved them … especially the car, of course.’ She tried not to think about that day in Florence and how they had laughed as they bought those toys together and then walked hand in hand. Which was all a damn set-up for the paparazzi, she reminded herself fiercely. Marco should mean nothing to her now, she thought severely … nothing. So why did she feel so broken inside when she looked over and met his eyes?
‘Anyway, back to reality.’ She smiled at him coolly and moved to go past so that she could sit at her desk.
He caught hold of her arm to stop her and the touch of his skin against hers made her senses instantly swim with desire. She flinched away, hating herself for the weakness.
Marco noticed and frowned. ‘Listen, I was thinking we could have lunch together today,’ he suggested softly. ‘I’ve got to go over to St Agnes Hospital to give a second opinion on two referrals but I should be back around twelve.’
‘I don’t think lunch is a good idea, Marco.’ Although her voice was calm, inside there were thunderous emotions racing … a big part of her wanted to say OK … that would be nice …
But she had to be strong, she thought. Because the more time she spent around Marco, the harder it would be to extract herself and switch off her emotions.
‘Why not?’ he asked calmly.
‘Because … you know how I feel about mixing business with pleasure, it just doesn’t work.’
‘It worked when we were in Italy.’
The calm reply lashed at her emotions. ‘No it didn’t. And that was different, anyway; it was a … one-night stand.’ She forced herself to say the words. That was all it had been, she reminded herself.
‘As I recall, it was a little more than that.’ He pulled her closer. She could smell the familiar tang of his cologne—evocative and warmly tantalising.
She still wanted him so much! The realisation killed her. How could she be so weak?
She pulled away. ‘You and Sarah aren’t cooking up another little photograph opportunity, are you?’ she asked archly.
‘No.’ He frowned. ‘I thought we’d agreed to put that behind us?’
‘Yes … of course we have.’ She chastised herself. Making barbed comments wasn’t a good idea. If Marco guessed how emotionally involved she was he would be horrified … maybe he would even tell Sarah Heart about it and the two of them would sit and discuss her and Sarah would smirk….
She switched her thoughts away from that. She was being ridiculous. Marco didn’t know how she felt … and he never would. So her pride was intact, if nothing else.
‘But we have a lot of work today, and I have letters to type.’
‘Try to finish them by twelve o’clock. And then …’ he leaned a little closer ‘… we could have some quality time … lunch and lovemaking…. not necessarily in that order.’ He whi
spered the words against her ear, his breath tickling against the sensitive area. ‘I missed you last night.’
Her stomach flipped over with longing. She had missed him too … so much.
‘I can’t, Marco … really.’ It took all her strength to keep her voice from trembling. Hastily she moved another step away.
‘Why not?’ He looked at her with a raised eyebrow. ‘I’ve checked the calendar and both of our schedules this afternoon could be sidelined until tomorrow …’
‘And then I’ll be even further behind with things!’ She went over to the filing cabinet to take some folders out. ‘I want to keep things on a strictly business footing from now on.’
‘As you know, I’ve no objection to keeping things businesslike,’ he said evenly, ‘but today we could organise our time a little better and enjoy ourselves as well.’
‘I don’t think so.’ Charlie shut the filing cabinet and went to sit behind her desk.
‘You’re still annoyed with me I take it?’ Marco’s tone was sardonic.
‘No, of course not.’ She found her reading-glasses and put them firmly on her nose. When he still didn’t move and just continued to sit there with a wry look of sardonic disbelief in his eyes, she met his gaze firmly.
‘Marco, I really enjoyed our weekend, but I don’t think we should take things further. We’ve had our fun. I think it’s time to move on.’
She could see the surprise in his dark eyes and felt wretched.
‘You are still hung up about this PR business!’
‘No I’m not!’ She looked over at him calmly. ‘I was mad at the time because you didn’t tell me what your plans were up front. But now I’m just thinking in practical terms. And an affair with you is not what I need in my life right now.’
‘So what do you need in your life right now?’ he asked with a directness that made her frown.
‘I have a four-year-old son, Marco. Stability is my main priority. Don’t get me wrong, if I weren’t a single mum I’d enjoy continuing our casual fling and playing a part in your PR plans. But under the circumstances I feel I need to be more circumspect about these things.’
Mistress to the Mediterranean Male (Mills & Boon By Request) Page 40