‘Sorry if you were upset by what I said to you in Italy,’ Sarah whispered suddenly.
‘You didn’t upset me.’
‘Really? Marco thinks I did. But how was I supposed to know that he was going to carry this loveless-relationship idea to such lengths? Anyway, no hard feelings and I hope it works out for you.’
She moved back to her own seat as Marco started to leave the stage.
Charlie bit down on her lip. Sarah was such a horrible person, she’d just had to rub it in about their relationship being a sham. Although there wasn’t much she could have replied to that because what Sarah had said was true.
Marco returned to his seat as the lights came on in the room. An orchestra started to play and a few couples went out onto the floor to dance to a smoothly romantic melody.
‘Great speech, Marco,’ Karina said silkily.
‘Thanks.’
‘Would you like to dance?’ she invited softly.
‘Sorry, not right now—I’ve got some catching up to do with Charlie.’ He softened the refusal with a smile. ‘Maybe later.’
‘I’ll hold you to that,’ she practically purred and then turned to talk to a crowd of people who had come over to speak to her.
Marco turned back towards Charlie. ‘I don’t know about you but I could do with getting out of here,’ he muttered.
‘Yes, me too.’
‘There are some people I have to see …’ he looked around the room ‘… but once I’ve had a few words we’ll escape.’ He looked back at her. ‘Do you want a dance first?’
‘No, thanks, Marco, I’m a bit tired.’ She didn’t think she could handle going into his arms right now. She felt as if she had been on enough of an emotional roller coaster for one evening.
‘Sorry! I keep forgetting you’ve had such a long journey today.’ Marco glanced at his watch. ‘What was Sarah saying to you, by the way?’ he asked as he looked up.
The sudden question took her by surprise. ‘Nothing much.’
‘Well, she was saying something. I hope she wasn’t stirring it again.’
‘No … well, unless you count wishing us well in our loveless relationship.’ She tried to sound as if she was merely amused but the tone of her voice was more brittle than she had wanted.
Marco looked annoyed. ‘She can’t shut up, can she?’
‘She was only speaking the truth. Neither of us have a right to be annoyed about that, have we?’
There was an uncomfortable silence between them for a moment.
‘Charlie, I—’
‘Let’s not talk about it now, OK?’ she cut across him breathlessly and her eyes blazed suddenly with unshed tears. If he said one word to defend their ‘practical’ relationship right now she knew she would break down.
He frowned. ‘You’re having second thoughts about us, aren’t you?’
‘Let’s just get through this charade first, shall we?’ Her voice was stiff. She really wanted to cry and she couldn’t bear to do that here in front of him and all these people.
Someone stopped by the table to talk to Marco and as soon as he was distracted she took the opportunity to get up and move away. The room was packed and it was an effort to make her way towards the ladies’. Then she saw an exit door and headed for that instead.
What she needed was some fresh air and some space to clear her head.
After the crowded heat of the ballroom it was a relief when she got outside onto the pavement.
She took deep gulps of the cold night air. And then she tried to get things in perspective. She had done a lot of travelling today and she was probably over-tired and over-emotional.
Crowds swirled around her and, although she was outside in a flimsy evening dress, no one paid her any attention. It was as if she wasn’t there.
A couple walked by, wrapped in each other’s arms. The guy was looking at his girlfriend with rapt attention. That was what she wanted, she thought suddenly, someone who would look at her with that level of adoration … someone who really loved her.
She realised with a rush that she wasn’t merely over-tired and that she was thinking more clearly than she had in weeks. She couldn’t play this game of pretence with Marco. It hurt too much.
Before she could stop to analyse her actions she stepped forward. There was a yellow cab coming up the street and she flagged it down.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
ONCE she was in the taxi she tried to phone Marco on his mobile but it was switched off and she just got his messaging service.
‘Hi, it’s me.’ She tried to sound composed but there was such a fierce pain inside her chest from the weight of emotion she carried that it was hard to even speak. ‘Look, I realise by rushing off like this that I’m behaving very badly and … probably erratically. I’m sorry,’ she drew in her breath, ‘but I can’t go through with this, Marco. I realised tonight that it just wouldn’t work between us. I’m heading back to the hotel and I’m going to pack my stuff and check out. I think it’s for the best. I hope you’ll forgive me.’
She hung up and put the phone back in her bag.
The words rang hollow inside her but she knew despite the pain that she had done the right thing. Better to end things now than to let them get too far out of hand.
She had learnt her lesson with Greg. She couldn’t go through that again. And it could be even worse with Marco … she was so head-over-heels in love with him it was crazy.
The cab pulled up outside her hotel and she paid the driver and hurried inside. She needed to pack and get out of this hotel before Marco got back. If he started to try and persuade her to stay she knew she would get emotional and say things she didn’t want to say.
At least if she got away now she would have time to pull herself together and when she did speak to him again she could try and exit from his life with some scrap of dignity.
As soon as she got back into their suite she took out her suitcase and opened it on the bed. Then she took off her dress and put on her jeans and a T-shirt before throwing everything else into the case.
The trouble with not taking the time to fold things was that the case then refused to close. After the fourth attempt she finally got the locks closed and picked it up. And that was when she heard the door open.
Her heart thundered erratically as she turned and came face to face with Marco.
‘What the hell are you playing at?’ His dark gaze moved from her towards the suitcase.
She took a deep breath. ‘I’m really sorry, Marco. Did you get my message?’
He tossed his mobile phone down on the table. ‘Yes, and it made about as much sense as seeing you standing there with your suitcase. Where do you think you are going?’
‘I’m going to check into another hotel.’
‘Why?’
She shrugged helplessly. ‘I told you on the phone. I realise I’ve made a mistake. I can’t move in with you, Marco. So I think it’s best I leave.’
He watched the way she held her head high, the spark of defiance in her eye.
‘You don’t really need me here now anyway. I’ve done what you needed. Plus your book is number one in the charts, so it’s OK.’
‘No, it’s not OK,’ he cut across her firmly. ‘Look, you are over-tired, you’ve had a long day and now you’ve just got a classic case of cold feet.’
‘Well, thanks for the diagnosis, Doctor, but you’re wrong.’ His calm manner irritated her. ‘You talked me into moving in with you but I was never sure it was the right thing … and now I know it’s not.’
‘Really?’ He crossed his arms. ‘Because of some outrageous comment from Sarah Heart?’
‘It wasn’t an outrageous comment.’ Her voice trembled slightly. ‘It was true and you know it.’
He didn’t say anything to that and she suddenly felt tears welling up inside her. ‘I’m not leaving just because of Sarah’s comments, it’s more complicated than that.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
When she made no reply he muttered fiercely, ‘I think I deserve more of an explanation than that. Don’t you?’
‘Well, for a start, there was your TV interview.’ She shrugged helplessly.
‘What about it?’
The calm question made her temper flare. The hurt feelings that she had been trying so hard to rein in since she had listened to that interview started to spill out. ‘You mean apart from the fact that you told the whole world that you and I are just some kind of experiment in relationship terms?’
‘Don’t be absurd!’
‘That’s what you said more or less. That you are with me to prove your point about love not being necessary.’ She put her hand on her hip. ‘Well, I’ve decided that you can go and prove your point with someone else.’
‘Charlie, I haven’t asked you to move in with me to prove a point.’ His voice softened.
‘Well, you could have fooled me!’
‘You are being totally irrational,’ he said with a frown.
‘Am I?’ She glared at him. ‘Well, I did try to warn you that we are not as compatible as you thought,’ she blazed furiously, ‘because the fact is that I can be wildly illogical when I want to be.’
‘Really?’ Instead of looking annoyed he seemed briefly amused.
‘Just move out of my way, Marco—I want to leave.’ She took a few steps forward towards the door but he made no attempt to move out of her way and he looked very serious now.
‘I’m sorry, Charlie, but there is no way I am allowing you to leave,’ he said softly. ‘Not until I know exactly what the hell you are talking about.’
‘Well, let me make it clear, Marco: I really thought I could live a life with you that didn’t involve love but I just can’t.’
‘Love will grow between us,’ he said gently. ‘I know it will.’
She shook her head and tears threatened to spill now. ‘I can’t take that chance, Marco. It hurts too much when everything goes wrong.’
He moved across to her and took her suitcase from unresisting fingers. Then he pulled her close and held her.
For a moment she allowed herself to lean against him and the feeling was blissful.
‘Everything won’t go wrong between us.’ His voice was low and reassuring. ‘We are good together. You know that deep down.’
‘But it’s not enough.’ She pulled away from him. It felt so good to be in his arms but she couldn’t allow herself to be swayed by emotions that weren’t real. That was what always happened when she was around him and it was a dangerous distraction.
‘But you said you wanted companionship and stability and we can have all that—’
‘It’s not enough, Marco,’ she cut across him with raw emphasis. ‘And I’m sorry I led you to believe otherwise.’ She swallowed hard. ‘You once told me I was too emotional to ever be happy with that kind of arrangement and you were right. You should have gone with your first analysis of me.’
When he didn’t say anything to that she looked up at him with shimmering eyes. ‘It’s not that I don’t believe in your theories about working at a relationship, because I do.’ Her voice became a mere whisper. ‘But, you see, for me love is the building block, the starting point, and without it there’s really no point.’ She bit down on her lip.
‘So you couldn’t learn to love me, then?’ he asked quietly.
The husky words made her heart suddenly miss several beats. She wanted to tell him that she already did love him, but pride made the words stick in her throat.
She couldn’t meet his eye now. ‘I think it’s just best that I go and we call it a day. Don’t worry, we can keep it quiet from the media—’
‘To hell with the media, Charlie, I really couldn’t care less about it,’ he grated angrily.
She frowned. ‘Well, of course you care. Your book and your work is all-important to you.’
‘Not as important as you.’
Charlie had been in the process of turning away but she paused in her tracks.
‘Don’t go, Charlie … please.’
Her heart stopped for a second at that husky, uncertain tone that was so unlike him.
‘Do you know why I didn’t tell you that my book was number one in the American chart?’ he asked abruptly. ‘Because it meant that in practical terms I didn’t need you here … the book was doing well and I was doing fine without a partner by my side.’
She frowned, not following what he meant.
‘I didn’t want to tell you because I thought it would give you an excuse not to come,’ he continued bluntly. ‘And the truth was that I needed you …’
‘You did?’
He nodded. ‘I missed you so much that it hurt. I love you, Charlie.’
The admission made her whirl around to face him, her eyes wide.
‘Is this some sort of game?’ she whispered.
‘Yes, it’s called the truth game.’ Marco’s lips twisted derisively. ‘Look, I’ve tried to take things slowly so as not to scare you off. But I can’t let you go.’
She took a tentative step towards him. ‘Say that again,’ she whispered.
‘I can’t let you go.’ He reached out and touched her face. ‘Because I love you.’
She could hardly believe what he was saying to her.
‘In fact, I love everything about you,’ he added softly. ‘The way you wear your hair—whether it is tied up or left loose,’ he added. ‘With or without glasses … in evening dress or even wrapped in a towel.’ He gave a helpless kind of shrug.
She stared at him in a sense of wonderment. ‘I thought I was just a “friend” who ticked all the right boxes?’
‘A friend who I fell in love with,’ he corrected softly. ‘Look, I know you don’t feel the same but it will grow … I know it will, because that’s what happened to me. When I came back from Italy I realised how deeply I felt for you and that I just couldn’t live without you. The debacle with the photographers in Florence made me recognize that I never wanted any hurt to come to you ever again. I tried to deny the feelings but …’ he shrugged helplessly ‘… some things just can’t be denied. And if you just give me a chance to prove myself to you I know I can make you happy.
‘Charlie, don’t cry!’ He looked appalled as he saw huge tears spilling down her face and pulled her into his arms. ‘God, it tears me apart, seeing you like this.’
‘I’m OK,’ she murmured huskily.
‘No, you’re not, and it’s my fault. I tried to rush you into moving in with me because I couldn’t bear not to have you in my life. But I should have taken things slower, given you time to get used to the idea, time to think about us as a family—’
‘I don’t need more time … not now—’
‘Just give things a little longer,’ he cut across her earnestly. ‘We’ll take things slow. I’ll do whatever it takes—’
‘Marco, I don’t need to take things slowly.’ She looked up at him. ‘Because I already love you; I always have.’
She saw the look of surprise in his expression. And then suddenly she was in his arms and he was kissing her with a passion that made her breathless. She clung to him and melted into him, her body tingling with happiness and exhilaration.
‘Charlie, when you told me you couldn’t live without love I honestly thought you were going to walk out. I’ve always prided myself on the fact that I look at situations in a rational way … but God, I couldn’t bear to lose you.’
The rawness in his eyes made her realise how completely she had broken through his defences. ‘I meant I couldn’t live without your love for me,’ she corrected him softly.
A smile started to curve Marco’s lips.
He reached out and touched the side of her face, a look of perplexity in his eyes. ‘I’ve always sensed such wariness in you. In fact, I thought that you might not be over your ex-husband.’
‘I was over Greg a long time ago. If I was wary it was because I don’t want to go through the heartache of another break-up.’
He n
odded. ‘I can understand that. But I have to admit, when you talked about just wanting companionship and practicalities for your next relationship … I thought it meant he was still in your heart.’
‘The only person in my heart was you, Marco.’ She swallowed hard. ‘I lied about all that anyway. And I think I did it because I’ve always been in love with you … and I didn’t think you would ever feel the same way about me. Even when you asked me to move in with you I thought it was for purely practical reasons, because I’m good in the office, because we get on well …’
‘Well, that last bit is true, of course,’ Marco said teasingly.
‘Marco!’ She looked up at him reproachfully and he kissed her. It was a kiss that was so sweetly full of emotion she could feel his love like a tangible force inside her.
‘I would have thought kisses like that might have told you something else,’ he murmured as he pulled back.
‘I thought you were just good at passion because you are Italian,’ she said with a smile.
He laughed at that.
‘I’ve never kissed anyone the way I’ve kissed you.’ He looked deep into her eyes. ‘And I’m not talking about the fact that we are good in bed together … which we most definitely are. I’m talking about the way you make me feel in here.’ He put a hand on his chest. ‘You’ve touched my heart the way no one has ever done.’
‘Do you realise that is the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me?’ she said teasingly. ‘And this from the man who shuns sentimentality of any sort.’
‘It just happens to be true. So it’s not sentimental slush!’
She smiled at him. ‘God, I love you, Marco …’
‘Does that mean you will move in with me?’
‘Of course it does.’
For a long while they didn’t speak and just kissed. They were the most blissfully happy moments of Charlie’s life.
‘When you move in it’s for keeps, Charlie,’ he told her firmly as he pulled away. ‘In sickness and health, for richer or poorer … all of that.’
‘All of that,’ she agreed softly. ‘So what’s happened to the inveterate bachelor … the guy who wasn’t cut out for commitment?’ she asked with a smile.
Mistress to the Mediterranean Male (Mills & Boon By Request) Page 45