by Jessie Cooke
“We are on our way to our new life…together.”
“Brian…”
“Here, beautiful, take a drink. You sound dry.” He had a cup of water in his hand. The clear liquid looked so cool and inviting…but what if it was drugged? He’d put something on that cloth he put over her face when he grabbed her. “Drink, Ava.” His voice changed. It was a subtle change, but he wanted to let her know who was in charge. She knew that voice and how quickly his moods could change. She had to survive this and find a way out, so she drank the water. It was cold and it felt like salve to her parched mouth and raw throat. “Don’t gulp, my love…you’ll make yourself sick.” She slowed down, but drank until it was gone, and she wanted more. “Good, now how do you feel?”
“Let me see…How do I feel? You drugged me and stole me from my home in the middle of the night. My throat hurts, my mouth is dry, my body is sore all over, and I’m mad as hell. I think that about covers it.”
He smiled, the bastard. “I love it when you get passionate.”
She started to sit up but the burst of pain in her head felt like a thousand tiny little shards of glass cutting through her brain. She hoped it was residual from whatever was on the rag, and not something new that had been in the water. She closed her eyes for a second and let it pass. Then, in as calm a tone as she could manage, she said, “Brian, why am I here? What do you want with me?”
“You know the answer to that, Ava. We were meant to be together. We have a child…”
Suddenly the pain from her head moved into her stomach. She felt like he’d kicked her in the gut and she couldn’t breathe. She wanted to throw up. Of course she knew that he knew about the baby, but something in the way he’d said that, implied more. Her mind was reeling and suddenly she was back there…back in the darkest days of her life.
Ava had gone to meet him at the park that day to tell him the news, that she was pregnant. When the doctor gave her the news, she had been upset and afraid and disgusted with herself both for getting pregnant and for using drugs over the past few months…She hadn’t known that she was already pregnant, but that wasn’t an excuse and she knew it. All she could think was: what had she done to the baby? She had all of these emotions ripping through her when she called Brian and said:
“I need you to meet me at the park. We need to talk.” Brian still lived in the frat house and she lived in the dorms. When they wanted to have wild sex, they went to a motel…when they needed to talk, they went to the park across the street from the frat house. When she got there she was surprised and a little upset that he wasn’t in their usual spot. There was a little gazebo near the pond where they always met and when she got there she sent him a text and told him she was there. Fifteen minutes went by and he hadn’t sent a text back. If she had waited in that secluded spot she might have never found out about his wife, but she was restless and anxious, so she took a walk while she waited. As she rounded the back side of the park she saw him. He was near the lot where the frat boys parked their cars, standing next to his red Camaro, and there was a woman with him. It looked like they were arguing. Ava wanted to know who she was and what they were arguing about. It seemed intimate somehow by the way he kept touching her elbow and trying to steer her away. When Ava got about three feet away she said:
“Brian?” He turned at the sound of her voice and looked like he wanted to pee his pants. The woman with him was beautiful. She was way too made up for Berkley, but beautiful nonetheless. She looked at Ava with giant blue eyes that had tears in them and said:
“Hi, I’m Patty…Brian’s wife. Who are you?”
The word “wife” echoed through Ava’s head. They had been looking for a place together. They would graduate in just over a month and he’d decided to use his fire science degree to work as a firefighter in San Francisco for a while and then transfer to Phoenix eventually so that she could be near her family. The only thing that kept her from running out of the gynecologist’s office screaming when she found out that she was pregnant was that she was sure that they would figure this out together. But suddenly she was meeting his “wife.”
“Ava, wait,” he said as she turned to walk away. She kept going and he didn’t follow her…not then anyway. Ava went straight to her counselor and told her that she was pregnant. She also told her that she had a drug problem and she needed to go to rehab. She left school that night and stayed in San Francisco with the older sister of a friend from college. She called her service provider that day and changed her phone number, and she deleted her Facebook account. She texted her new number to her brother Collin and told him to make sure he only gave it to the family. When he asked “Why?” she told him that she was getting crank calls and texts.
Two days later, she was accepted into a rehab facility and she used the money her parents sent for tuition to pay for that. A week into the program, she finally called her mother. As she’d grown used to doing for the past two years, she lied to her.
“Mom?”
“Ava, honey, how are you? I was getting worried when the boys said they hadn’t heard from you at all and you didn’t return my call to your new number last night. Is everything okay? Collin said you were getting crank calls. Your father was about to drive up there…”
Shit! That was all she needed. She tried to sound positive as I said, “I’m sorry I worried you. I was studying for a test last night. I have finals and it’s been crazy. I’m good. I just have some news for you. I hope you won’t be upset…”
“What is it?” Her tone was still worried and Ava tried to imagine just blurting out that she was pregnant. The words stuck in her throat and almost choked her before she finally said:
“I’m not going to graduate this semester.”
“What? Why? We already have plans to come up there…”
“I know, Mom. I’m sorry. There was one course I still need to take. I didn’t realize it until the last minute. I’ll have to wait until fall to take it.”
“Oh, that’s too bad. I know you must be disappointed.”
“A little, yeah. There’s something else though, Mom. Do you remember my friend Summer that I introduced you to the last time you came up?”
“Of course, the pretty Italian girl.”
“Yeah, that’s her. She invited me to go to Europe with her this summer. She’s going to be studying, and staying with host families, so it won’t cost much…”
“Europe? Ava, your father won’t be happy about you being in another country and staying in strangers’ homes.”
“I know, Mom, but I’m not a little girl. I need you to convince him for me that this is a fantastic opportunity. I’ll stay in touch, and Summer and I will use the buddy system.”
“I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too,” Ava said, honestly. She was fighting tears as she talked to her; she needed her mother. “The time will fly by, though, and by the time I come home for Thanksgiving, I’ll have lots of stories to tell.”
“Thanksgiving?” her mother said, sadly. The doctor said she was three months along. That put her due date in late October.
“Yes, I’m sorry. We’ll be back just in time for the semester to start. But Mom, I promise to be home for the holidays, okay?”
Ava’s mother hadn’t agreed that it was okay by the time they hung up. She knew her daughter too well, however, and she knew if she argued with her that it would make her that much more determined. The poor woman had raised four stubborn Irish children. Ava hung up the phone after promising to keep in touch more often and then went to her daily group.
She spent three months in rehab. She could have left a lot sooner, but she was afraid. She had screwed up so badly and she was afraid that she wasn’t ready for the world. She was also pregnant and was afraid of being alone. Finally in the summer when she wasn’t given the option to stay any longer, the counselor gave her a referral to a halfway house in San Francisco and, six months pregnant, she went there to wait the rest of it out. The house was a nice place an
d run by good people who genuinely cared. It felt safe and comfortable and besides missing her own family like crazy, she was happy there. They were the ones who’d gotten her in touch with the adoption agency. Ava still had this deep-seeded fear that because of her lifestyle early in her pregnancy, something would be wrong with the baby…but she kept that to herself.
Early in September she was at the little market a few blocks from the halfway house when she saw Brian. He was wearing a firefighter uniform. She tried to run…but was at the point in her pregnancy of waddling when she walked, and running wasn’t an option.
“Ava?”
“Hi,” she said, stupidly trying to hide her belly.
“You’re…is that…it’s ours?” he asked, gawking at her belly.
“I’m giving him up for adoption, Brian.”
He grabbed her arm then and she saw that subtle change in his features that she’d learned to be terrified of. With a low rumble in his voice he said, “No…you’re not. He’s my baby too. You can’t do that without my consent.”
“I can, Brian. It’s already done.” Ava was probably lucky that they were in public because he looked like he wanted to punch her in the face. His hold on her arm tightened and she said loud enough for the clerk to hear her, “Let go of my arm, please. You’re hurting me.”
Brian glanced over at the man behind the counter. He was looking at them and he had his phone in his hand. Brian let go of her and said, “This isn’t over.”
Ava stayed inside the store and watched him get in his county fire car and drive away. She called Matt, her counselor at the house, for a ride home. When he came to pick her up, she told him about Brian. He drove her around the city until dark and they had coffee at three different places to make sure he wasn’t following them. It seemed paranoid to Ava at the time, but judging from her current circumstances, Matt had obviously had that experience before and knew what he was doing.
The baby was born that night…a month early. Ava was sure the stress of seeing Brian brought on the labor and she was terrified the whole time. But once the agony of that was over and she saw that he was healthy…and beautiful…she felt a little better…right up until she saw the social worker in the doorway, waiting to take him. She looked over at the baby in the nurse’s arms and back up at the lady in the doorway and said:
“Can I hold him, just for a minute?”
The woman nodded sadly and looked at the nurse. The nurse laid him in Ava’s arms and she stared at him in wonder. He had red fuzz on his head and dark green eyes. She knew that holding him was probably a big mistake but she also felt like her arms would ache forever if she didn’t. He was so small, yet as she held him, his tiny fingers curled around her bigger finger and held on tight. He peered up at her with his brand new eyes and she wondered if he knew who she was…and what she was about to do. She wondered if he would grow up hating her…although he would never know who she was. His tiny little legs kicked in an awkward motion and her favorite part of holding him was when he yawned, forming his tiny little mouth into a perfect “O” and then he stretched his skinny little arms up and arched his little back as if happy to finally be out of that confined place. He was a perfect little doll and as afraid as she was that she might break him…she didn’t want to let him go. In that fifteen minutes she realized that she loved him more than she would ever love anyone or anything. And then, they came and took him away. A day hadn’t gone by since that she didn’t think about him.
“I found him, Ava. I found our son.”
12
Daniel and Noah pounded on the front door of the big house until it was finally ripped open by an angry looking man in a robe. He was almost completely bald and what little hair he did have was sticking straight up on his head. His face looked like it had seen the end of a needle attached to a syringe filled with Botox one too many times. It was just short of plastic.
“Do you know what time it is?” he asked, taking them in with his eyes disapprovingly.
“Where is Brian Zane?” Noah said. The man suddenly looked nervous. He was probably rethinking opening the door to two strangers. It’s likely they caught him asleep and not thinking clearly.
“Brian? What do you want with Brian at five a.m.?”
Proving that he was truly a Kelly, Daniel grabbed the man by the front of his robe and shoved him inwards. He had him against the wall of the foyer and as Noah closed the front door he heard him say through gritted teeth, “You don’t want to fuck with either of us, old man. Where is Brian?”
“He’s not here,” the man said, barely able to get enough breath to form the words, thanks to the way Daniel was now pressing his beefy arm against the man’s chest.
“Daddy, is everything okay? I’ve pressed the alarm.” It was a woman’s voice and it came from upstairs. Damn it! A home alarm in a neighborhood like that meant the police would be there in minutes. That would significantly slow them down. Noah ran towards the voice while Daniel continued to question “Daddy”.
The young woman standing at the top of the stairs looked almost as plastic as “Daddy”. She was in a robe also, a silk one that only came to the tops of her thighs. She had long blonde hair that spilled across her shoulders and down her back. Her face was perfectly smooth…not a single blemish or discoloration in sight. She let out a little scream and ran back in the other direction when she saw Noah. She had gone back into the bedroom and tried to close the door, but before she got it all the way shut, he pushed it in. She ran towards the bathroom and he grabbed her around the waist. She kicked her legs, screamed and struggled, futilely.
“I’m not here to hurt you,” he told her in as calm a voice possible. “I just need to know where Brian is.”
“Why do you want Brian?” she asked him, still twisting in his arms.
“I’m a private investigator. I just need to talk to him. Is he here?”
She stopped moving and said, “What has he done?”
“Like I said, I just need to talk to him. Is he here?”
“Let go of me, please.”
“Okay. I’m going to let go of you, but don’t run, okay?” She nodded and Noah set her down on her feet next to the bed. She smoothed her robe back down over her black thong and pulled the front closed. Any other time, what was peeking out would have been a distraction. That night he barely noticed. “Now, where is Brian? Is he here?”
She shook her head. “He’s not here. We’re separated. He isn’t going to be living here any longer.”
“Where does he live?” Noah asked her.
“Here…I mean he hasn’t moved out yet. We just moved here from California a month ago, so a lot of his stuff isn’t even here yet. He told me he was leaving yesterday. Today after his shift, he never came home.”
“Where would he go?”
She shook her head again. “I don’t know. I don’t know Phoenix yet and I hardly know him at all any longer.” Noah could tell that whatever they argued about was still fresh, and he knew that he needed to stay calm or he would just upset her again and get nothing.
“Listen to me carefully, okay? I hate to tell you this about your husband, but it’s necessary. He has my friend. He’s obsessed with her and he took her against her will. I’m afraid that he’ll hurt her.” She didn’t look surprised, and she confirmed that she wasn’t by saying:
“Is her name Ava?”
“Yes! Where would he take her? Think! Please. It’s important.” Noah could hear the sirens coming. He knew that he needed to be out of there before they arrived or they’d delay him for hours.
“I really don’t know. I don’t think he would hurt her…he told me he was leaving me to be with her.” Tears began to spill down her cheeks as she said, “He told me he’s always loved her and he never loved me and that the three of them are going to be a family.”
Three of them? Noah didn’t have time to ponder that, though, and didn’t have time for sympathy for Barbie. He grabbed her by the arms and said, “Think, damn it! Where would he go
?”
“Maybe San Francisco,” she said, meekly.
“Why? Why San Francisco?” Fuck! San Francisco was a fucking ten-hour drive. The sirens drew closer and Noah heard a vehicle stop.
“He’s always loved it there, and we have a house on Frederick Street in Cole Valley.”
“What’s the address?” he asked her.
“1334 Frederick. Don’t hurt him, please!” She called the last after him, as he was taking the stairs two at a time. That was definitely a promise that Noah was not going to make. Daniel had “Daddy” in the living room. “I got an address, let’s go.” The firefighter let go of the other man as the police began beating on the door.
“Police! Open up!” Noah went out through the double glass doors that led out to the pool. Daniel followed him. They made their way around the back of the house and the side to where they’d left the car. The police had gone inside. The two slipped into the car while the police were preoccupied and took off.
“You know where she is?” Daniel asked him when they got back on the road.
“I’m not sure. Hang on.” Noah called Hayden.
“Noah! Where the hell are you?”
“Hayden, I need you to call San Francisco PD and have them go to 1334 Frederick Street. Send them code four but tell them no lights and sirens.”
“Why, Noah?”
“I think that’s where he took Ava.”
“I’m at the Peterson house. Ethan and his wife are both here. He’s not in San Francisco.”
“Brian Zane has her, not Peterson.”
“Noah, I need you to meet me at the station. I’ll call that in to SFPD, but I need you to come in here so we can talk and start putting the pieces of what happened tonight together.”
Noah didn’t want to go to the station, he wanted to drive to San Francisco…but it was a fucking ten-hour drive. If that’s where Zane was taking her, odds were they weren’t even there yet. “Hayden, can we get a GPS on Zane’s phone?”