by Moore, John
“Well, it’s true.”
“What do we do now?”
“Anything we want. I’ve got money. For years people have been paying the Cult of Matka for advice, and I’ve been investing my share. We’re young. We’ve got nothing to tie us down now. The ship will drop us anywhere we want. Let’s go someplace where we can have adventures. Also lots of sex.”
Charlie nodded. “What’s your money invested in?”
“A chain of frozen yoghurt stands. They say it’s going to be the next big thing.”
“Hmm. Then there’s only one thing we need right now.”
“What’s that?”
“A fizzy bath bomb. You didn’t happen to bring them, did you?”
“Your gift? Of course I did.” Xiao stood up. Water and suds cascaded off her breasts and ran down her smooth thighs. Charlie watched appreciatively. She leaned over him to extract a scented, round ball from her vanity case and drop it into the tub. As the water foamed around them, she settled into his arms for another long bout of kissing.
He had, Charlie realized, no ambition to do anything else. And right then that was just fine. “But I have one remaining question.”
“The answer is no,” said Xiao.
“What?”
“You were about to ask me if I could really see into the future. No, it was all just part of the scam. Cold reading and conjurer’s tricks. No.”
“Glad we got that settled,” said Charlie.
1 This looks like a good place for a footnote. Terry Pratchett and Susanna Clarke use lots of footnotes and they write bestsellers, so maybe I should also throw in a few.
2 A bird with an incredibly hard beak that pecks strange glyphs into the rocks alongside the roads and—oh, quit groaning. It’s just one pun for Robert Asprin fans. (Asprin doesn’t use footnotes, though.)
3 My friends reminded me that Jasper Fford uses puns and footnotes. They also said he’s better looking than I am. Hmmph!
4 Lowe, Nick. “The Well-Tempered Plot Device,” Ansible. July 1986. Look, a real footnote! It follows CMS and everything.
5 I can only think of one Donald E. Westlake novel that had a footnote. I mention this because my next novel will have a lot of Donald E. Westlake influences.