Least Likely To Survive

by Lisa Biesiada

  Ty turned his head away from me, and pretended to study the dryer as though he had never seen one before, and needed to understand its inner workings. Frankly, I didn’t have time for that shit. Just as I was about to attempt a headlock, he continued.

  “The guy’s in love with you. I don’t get it; you’re obviously nuts, but he seems to dig it. And you acting like he’s nothing is a dick move, man.” Ty didn’t say anything else, just flipped the hair out of his eyes as he turned, heading for the door. Just before he walked all the way through it, he stopped and turned back to me. I was still standing in the same spot, completely stunned and dumbfounded at his words.

  “I know you feel the same about him. One of these days you should tell him that, though.” The door closed after him, and I was left just staring.

  Chapter 15: I Don’t Want to Talk About My Feelings.

  The dryers pinged, and I was still standing there in shock. Leave it to me to turn what was supposed to be action-packed adventure into a love story. I swore to myself that if the world ever returned to any semblance of normal again, I was going to sell this story to Hollywood; convinced it would make a great movie.

  I leaned back against the wall of dryers, and let myself slide to the ground. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I banged my head against the dryer door a few times, maybe trying to knock some sense into myself; I didn’t really know at this point. I just kept repeating Ty’s words to myself against the backdrop of every glance and smile Jack had ever sent my way, searching for some sign of truth. It was unchartered territory for me, considering I hadn’t ever really been in love. Sure, I had dated, and definitely wasn’t a virgin, but the idea that someone could actually love me was so foreign, the words stopped making sense. I closed my eyes and let the thoughts swirl as they may.

  I watched from the hall as the dealer slammed my mother against a wall. “I’m not giving you any fucking more until you pay me for the last 8-ball, bitch!” I didn’t bother listening to her reply, as I had heard the tear-stained excuses time and time again.

  Barely fifteen, I had witnessed this same scenario countless times, and she had always managed to get herself out of it the same way every time.

  Standing up taller, she stroked her hand down his arm and pursed her lips at him, in what appeared to be provocation, but looked comical considering she was so gone it was amazing she was still standing.

  He shoved her hand away. “Fuck that, I wouldn’t touch you if you paid me. Better think of something else fast before I fucking kill you, whore!” He grabbed her neck and shoved her harder into the wall, setting off all kinds of alarms in my head. Not again, it was just like Dad. Without thought, I rushed forward and tried to stand between them.

  I swallowed hard, and smiled up at the dealer, whose name escaped me at the moment. I put my hand on his chest and tilted my head in what I hoped was a flirtatious manner. “Maybe you and I could work something out?” I bit my lower lip and smiled harder, trying to not throw up just thinking of what I was offering.

  He looked me up and down lasciviously, and I felt the intense need to take the world’s hottest shower and scrub my skin until it bled. “How old are you?”

  “Fifteen,” I replied a little less certain of what I was doing.

  “Virgin?”

  “Yes…” I whispered quietly looking down at the thread bare carpet, dread filling my stomach at where this was going.

  He didn’t say anything, just smiled the smile of a cat about to attack a mouse and grabbed my hand, leading me down the hall towards my room. I could hear my mother start to cry somewhere behind me, but all sound was fading as we entered my room and he closed the door.

  “Hey.” I was so wrapped up in thoughts of the past, that I didn’t hear Jack come in. I looked up, and he smiled as he came over and sat next to me. He glanced at the dryers which had gone dormant and cold; so much time had passed, and looked back at me. “Getting laundry done?”

  I swallowed the bat that was winging its way around in my throat before answering. “Yeah, guess the dryer’s done.” I stood up and opened up the first one, pulling the fresh pile of laundry out before heading back over to the counter. I didn’t say anything as he followed me with the second load. Remaining silent, we began sorting and folding. It seemed silly to me to watch someone like him folding clothes like he did it every day. Maybe he did. Then again, I was willing to bet he sent his laundry out.

  I knew folding clothes while contemplating how Jack did his laundry was pointless and silly, but I had the intense desire to avoid any serious conversation about us. If there was an us, if there would be an us, or whatever. I wasn’t fucking ready, and if I was good at one thing, it was avoidance.

  “Um, Angie, we should really talk about-“That was as far as I was letting him get with that.

  “I saw Ian meeting with Dr. Fields and some generals, or whatever, and they were talking about experimenting on the infected they are keeping somewhere here in the dome, and how they are going to experiment on regular people. I found them by accident, and I don’t think they heard or saw me eavesdropping, but I ran into Ian afterwards, and I’m pretty sure he’s on to me and we’re all in danger and we all need to fucking leave as soon as possible before we all get eaten or forcibly turned into monsters.” I stopped there to catch my breath, and see if anything I had just word-vomited on him made any sense.

  His eyes got big as took in what I had just said. Best. Subject. Change. Ever. I was doing a little dance inside, celebrating the fact that we wouldn’t be talking about feelings anytime soon. I just didn’t want to deal with that.

  “What do you mean? Experimenting how?” He set down the shirt he had been folding and turned his full attention to me.

  “Do you remember at that gas station, when I pointed out how that zombie’s skin was turning colors and the blood underneath looked like it was coagulating?” He nodded, waiting for me to continue. Holding up my hand, I started ticking off fingers, “First, I told you that shit was wrong,” ticking off another finger, “Second, well they’re mutating and supposedly becoming faster and smarter. Apparently they’ve been injecting them with this ‘serum 7’ shit, and it’s making it worse. I think they want to study what’s happening, or whatever, but fuck, Jack, they’re keeping zombies in the building with us, we need to leave!”

  During my rant, I was watching the various emotions flickering over his features. He really was beautiful and I completely understood why he was such a great actor, as apparently his emotional range was vast, and I was pretty sure I had just seen all of them. His eyes narrowed, and he rubbed the stubble along his chin while he considered this. Seemingly coming to the same conclusion I had, he ran his hands through his hair, which I was learning he always did when he was frustrated or overwhelmed. “Fuck.”

  I cocked my head to the side in agreement. “Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.”

  He stood at the counter, looking down at the Formica like it held the secrets of the universe while he contemplated everything I had spent the last few hours going over. Giving him the time to do so, I took the liberty of studying him.

  I watched the muscles in his biceps knot and unknot, causing the patterns of his tattoos to undulate and dance, almost telling me the stories of travels, and found myself a bit lost in them. He was about fifteen years my senior and I thought that would bother me, but it didn’t. He was still beautiful and brilliant, and there was something about him that made me want to sit at his feet and soak up any words he chose to speak.

  Okay, even I had to admit that the hero worship was in full effect, but it was more than that. I trusted him. After just a couple of days together, considering what we had already been through, I knew I didn’t really want anyone else by my side as we fought for survival. Jack was the kind of guy who I could trust with my life, along with the fact that he was a much better person than I. I had to admit to myself, however secretly, that I kinda loved him for it.

  I could see him coming to the end of his train
of thought, and prepared myself to continue our conversation. He looked at me for a minute, like he was looking for just the right words to say. Ever the tactful one.

  “Okay, I agree, it’s time to get the fuck gone, but if we bolt now, Ian will know for sure we know something, and may come after us. Not to mention, could make it difficult for us to make the attempt to leave.” Stopping there, he furrowed his brows, while searching for the words that would complete the thought he was trying to convey. “We need to tell the kids, and I’m thinking we could probably get away with leaving tomorrow. If we try today, it would be too obvious.” Jack’s face was still set in concentration as he ran the hand not holding laundry through his hair and stopped to rub the back of his neck.

  I tried as hard as I could to not replace his hand with mine and instead focused on how it freaked me out a little that I had been thinking along the same lines. “That’s what I was thinking.”

  He smiled at me, sharing the amusement of our matching thoughts. Letting the smile fall off his mouth like it had been glued there, and the glue had finally cracked and dried, he looked back down at the shirt that was still in his hand. It was the one I had been wearing up until we got here. Running his hand along the ribbing of the Beater, I could see his fingers start to tense and I knew he was gonna talk about it anyway, regardless of whether I wanted to or not.

  “Angie…fuck, I don’t know. I get why you ran out this afternoon, fuck I’m right there with you, but after that kiss?” Jack stopped there, considering his next words carefully. He looked back up at me, and I saw something in his eyes, although I’m not sure I could name it. Sorrow, maybe? I didn’t know. It looked like a pretty intense emotion, and I had to wonder if mine were showing the same. “I don’t regret it.”

  I was taken back. One thing was for certain; I was never going to be able to predict what he was going to say. Not saying another word, he put his hand up to my face, cupping my cheek and running his thumb across my lips. I didn’t have words. I was eternally grateful for this, as I had a tendency to say the wrong thing and fuck up a perfectly good moment. At the same time though, I still wasn’t ready to deal with this. We had enough problems, and feelings just weren’t rating very high on the scale of ‘Shit We Have to Deal With’. That and I just didn’t have it in me to really examine this considering I had waited my whole life to fall in love, and here I was and the world was ending and we would probably all die very soon. There’s some fucking irony for you.

  Shaking my head, I pulled away from his hand. “I know we need to talk about this, Jack. But I’m just not ready right now. Let’s focus on getting out of here and worry about that later.” I prayed he could see the desperation in my eyes to avoid the topic, and if the way his jaw tensed and the indifference suddenly descending over his face was any indication, he got it.

  We finished folding the laundry in silence, and together we carried the piles back up to the club box.

  I had my hand on the door knob to the club box when the door burst open, nearly causing me to drop the clothes in my arms and fall flat on my face. “Fuckin-A, Chloe?!” I regained my balance, and threw her a death stare as I headed for the chair in the middle of the room to deposit my load.

  “I’m sorry Angie, it’s just that I was beginning to worry…” she stopped and looked at me, and I could hear the concern in her soft voice. She didn’t say anything else, just stood there fidgeting and clenching and unclenching her hands. Watching her, I remembered she was just a kid, and I immediately felt bad for snapping. I walked over to her and pulled her into a hug without saying anything. She wrapped her skinny arms so tight around my neck I saw stars for a minute.

  We stood there for a few more seconds until I pulled away and looked at her. Her skin was more sallow than it had been the day before, and she had dark circles forming under her sea foam eyes. The kid looked like she had aged about a decade in the last 24 hours. My heart hurt for her and Ty, and considering she was looking at me like I was the last thing she could count on in the world, I knew I couldn’t leave them behind. Not after all we had been through, and I would probably die trying, but I needed to keep them safe.

  I smiled the most reassuring smile I could at her before walking back to the pile of laundry. I sat down and began separating whose was whose. The muscles in my neck and shoulders chose that moment to let me know they hated me and started throbbing. I hoped a masseuse somewhere survived because I sure the fuck needed them now.

  The three of us made quick work of separating and putting away the clothes and just as we converged back into the main room, the door was swept open by Ty with Roscoe in tow. “Hey guys,” he tossed casually as he strode into the room and collapsed into the oversized arm chair by the window that overlooked the giant auditorium below. I watched as Roscoe waited for Ty to sit, then with much ado, turned three circles and plopped down into a heap on the floor to the left of the chair, and not without a great huff. Awesome, even the dog was exhausted. Or bored; really, with dogs it could go either way.

  “Well, since we’re all here, we should probably have that talk, Angie.” I jumped a little, I was so focused on my study of the dog; Jack’s words caught me off guard. I turned and looked at him, hoping he would figure out the best way to tell the kids we were royally fucked without freaking them out.

  Chloe propped herself on the edge of the chair I had sunk into across from Ty and blinking her big doe eyes down at me, asked, “Talk about what? How Angie freaked out today?”

  “No, and I didn’t freak out. I staged a walkout in protest; there’s a difference.” I crossed my arms in defiance over my chest and narrowed my eyes at her, daring a challenge. I shot a look at Jack and Ty when I heard both of them snickering. Everyone’s a fucking critic these days apparently.

  Jack cleared his throat once his chuckles subsided and waited for the kids to settle before beginning. They stopped and looked at him expectantly; we all were. “Angie witnessed something today that is cause for concern.” He stopped there and looked at me in invitation to finish. “Gee, thanks for that fucking amazing introduction,” I thought bitterly back at him.

  “Um, yeah, not to bore you with details, but I basically discovered there is a nefarious plot to experiment on zombies and people alike here, aaand it’s time to get the hell out of dodge before we’re next.” Short, I know, but I didn’t really want to lay out everything I heard for the kids; they really just needed to know the long and short of it. Apparently I was too vague as I watched two sets of eyebrows shoot damn near to the ceiling, and Chloe almost fell off her perch.

  “WTF are you talking about?! What kind of experiments? Like, they’re keeping zombies IN THE BUILDING WITH US?!” Chloe was shrieking by the time she was done talking, and I couldn’t help but wonder if Roscoe would start howling at her pitch.

  I put my hand on her shoulder to calm her and looked her right in the eyes, hoping it would help. “Cool your jets, man. We’re safe for tonight, but we’re gonna bounce tomorrow.”

  Chloe stared back at me, searching my face for some sign I was lying. Her shoulders dipped a little and she sat back again, and I knew she believed me. I felt like a jackass for lying; I didn’t know if we were safe for the night, but had to say something.

  “Fuck that, let’s just leave now!” Ty was starting to stand as he said this, and I looked over at him with much the same look I had just given his sister. Before I could say anything though, Jack beat me to it.

  “We can’t,” he said shaking his head at Ty. “Ian saw Angie not long after she overheard all this and we think he may know she knows. If we leave now, we look suspicious and he may come after us, or worse.” Stopping there, the room went silent as we all contemplated what he could mean by ‘worse.’ They could kill us, and I sure as fuck didn’t just survive two days of zombies to get taken out by that psycho.

  His words worked, as Ty sat back down again. “Oh. Well, fuck,” he said on an exhale, and ran both hands through his shock of dark hair. Internally, I agreed wi
th him; that was about the same page I was on too.

  I looked over to Jack, and caught him seemingly deep in thought. “So what’s the plan?” I knew we needed one, but fucked if I knew what to do. As the oldest, I decided the gauntlet would fall to him this time.

  He looked back at me startled, and I didn’t miss the fear and alarm on his face before he stamped that shit back down. He knew as well as I that now wasn’t the time to admit we had no fucking idea what we were doing. Dogs and kids could smell fear. “I haven’t gotten that far yet, but everyone make sure your stuff is packed and the weapons we have with us are in order.” He snuck a glance at me to see if I agreed, and I just shrugged at him. Sounded better than I would have at this point.

  “But how are we gonna leave tomorrow without getting caught?” Chloe couldn’t resist pointing this out; ever the obvious.

  “Yeah, so we don’t know yet, but we’ll figure out it, so don’t worry, K?” I half smiled at her and prayed she believed my nonchalance. I was going to Hell for sure for lying to children. Her eyes narrowed at me, waiting for my shell to crack, and when it didn’t, she shrugged and got up.

  “Fine. Whatev, just let us know.” With that, she, Ty and Roscoe headed to the door.

  “We’re gonna get some food, catch you guys later?” Ty turned at the door, and darted a look between Jack and I that was so heavy I was sure his eyes would fall out of his skull and crack the floor when they landed.

  “Sure, later.” Jack gave Ty the all-encompassing man ‘head nod’, and with that the conversation was over. Now if I could continue to avoid the other one, life would be peachy.

  We sat in silence for a bit, each lost in our own thoughts. I stared out the window down into the arena, finding myself sad at the thought it would never hold another crowd, and there would never be another band on the stage to test the limits of the undoubtedly impressive sound system. Hell, it had only been a couple days, and I was already starting to ache for my smart phone and my DVR. Odds were that I would never know the joy of modern living again, and I had to get used to roughing it. Basic survival had become my new ‘norm’, and it sucked and I hated it, but it was better than being a zombie. Or dead.