by Irene Hannon
Kate stared at him in shock. Now she understood why he had looked so shaken when he answered the door. “What happened?”
“Lung cancer. I was always afraid her smoking would kill her.”
“I’m so sorry.”
He sighed. “I am, too. For her. For what might have been. For all the mistakes we both made. My strongest feeling at the moment is regret. It’s odd, Kate. I have no sense of personal loss. No grief in that way. Cindy and I parted long ago, even before the divorce. By the end of our marriage we were really no more than strangers.”
Kate couldn’t imagine the living hell of that kind of relationship. She and Jack had had arguments on occasion, but deep down they’d always known that their marriage was rock solid, that it would endure, no matter what obstacles life put in their path. Eric had clearly never enjoyed that kind of relationship.
Impulsively she reached over and laid her hand on his, just as she had three nights before. “I’m so sorry, Eric,” she repeated. “Not only for Cindy’s death, but for the death of your marriage. In some ways, I think that would be even harder to bear than the physical death of a loved one. I was devastated when Jack died, but I had wonderful memories to cling to and sustain me. I’m sorry you never had that.”
Eric looked into Kate’s tear-filled eyes and something deep within him stirred. It was such a foreign emotion that it took him a moment to identify it as hope. Here, with this special woman, he suddenly felt that his future no longer needed to be solitary and devoid of love. Which was strange. Because though he might now be free to marry in the eyes of the Lord, there were still major obstacles to overcome before he could even begin to consider a future with Kate. First of all, she was still in love with Jack. That was no small hurdle. And second, he was still a doctor, committed to a profession that didn’t seem to mix with marriage—or at least, not for him. There seemed no way around that barrier.
And yet…Eric couldn’t suppress the optimism that surged through him. It was as if a heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders, as if the floodgates had opened on a parched field. Yes, the problems were significant. But all things were possible with the Lord. And maybe, with His help, out of the darkness of these past years a new day was about to dawn.
Chapter Eight
“So…I hear I have some competition in the baking department.”
Kate took a sip of her tea and smiled at Anna. “Hardly.”
“I don’t know.” The older woman’s tone was skeptical, but there was a twinkle in her eye. “The way Eric raved about that coffee cake—it must be something special. It was nice of you to make one just for him.”
“It was the least I could do after he stopped by to see Sarah—and on a Sunday night.” Kate poured herself another cup of tea and sighed contentedly. “Mmm. This is the perfect antidote to a long, drawn-out teachers’ meeting. Thanks for watching Sarah later than usual, Anna.”
“My pleasure. She’s a delightful little girl and no trouble at all.” They simultaneously glanced out the window toward the patio, where the youngster was engrossed in some make-believe game, wringing every moment out of the rapidly diminishing daylight. “She’s so excited about the Christmas pageant at church. It’s all she’s talked about for the last two days. If you need any help with the angel costume, I’d be more than happy to lend a hand.”
Kate smiled and shook her head. “Speaking of angels—how did I get lucky enough to find you?”
“Well, you can thank my son for that. And it wasn’t luck at all. It was just part of God’s plan.”
“What plan is that?” Kate inquired with a smile.
The doorbell rang before the older woman could reply. “Goodness! I don’t usually have visitors at this hour,” she remarked, a flush rising to her cheeks. “Will you excuse me for a moment, my dear?”
“Of course. We need to be leaving anyway.” Kate started to get up, but Anna put a hand on her shoulder.
“Not yet!” There was an anxious note in her voice, and Kate looked at her curiously. Anna’s flush deepened and she quickly backtracked. “At least finish your tea first,” she said, before quickly leaving the room.
Kate stared after her, a sudden niggling suspicion sending an uneasy tingle down her spine. The older woman was up to something, she concluded. But what?
She had her answer a few moments later when Anna reentered the kitchen followed by Eric, who was toting two large white sacks.
“Well, look who stopped by,” Anna declared, feigning surprise.
Kate sent her a chiding look, which the older woman ignored. Kate was beginning to realize that Anna was a matchmaker at heart and now seemed to be directing her efforts at her son and the mother of her young charge. Of course, she wouldn’t get very far without the cooperation of said son, Kate reflected, directing her glance his way. And he wasn’t in the market for romance. But as their gazes connected she somehow got lost in his blue eyes and warm smile and forgot all about conspiracy theories.
“Hi.”
How did he manage to impart such a warm, personal tone to a single word? Kate wondered as she distractedly returned the greeting.
He held up the sacks. “I heard you were working late tonight and thought maybe we could all share some Chinese. I brought chicken fingers and fries for Sarah.”
Kate smiled, touched by his thoughtfulness. “She’ll love that. It’s not a treat she gets too often.”
“How about you, Kate? Is Chinese all right?”
“Perfect. A treat for me, too.”
Anna looked from one to the other with a satisfied expression. “I’ll just call Sarah,” she offered, heading toward the back door.
Kate rose to get some plates and eating utensils while Eric unpacked the bags. “You’re going to spoil us, you know,” she told him over her shoulder.
“You could use some spoiling.”
She turned to him in surprise, and as their gazes met, a faint flush rose in her cheeks. There was something…different about Eric tonight, she decided. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it. He seemed less tense. Less worried. And definitely less distant. Which shouldn’t surprise her, considering how much he’d shared with her Wednesday night about the deep-seated hurts and disappointments of his marriage. In fact, she’d been surprised by his openness. Most men she’d met kept their feelings to themselves—especially the darker ones—as well as their doubts. Even Jack. Despite his outgoing nature, he’d had a hard time talking about feelings, preferring instead to express them.
But Eric had told her things that many men’s egos would never have let them admit—his sense of failure when the marriage had faltered, his doubts about the compatibility of a family and his career, his sense of betrayal and deep hurt when Cindy had asked him for a divorce and told him she’d met someone new. It touched her deeply that he’d chosen to share his feelings with her. And as she’d left he’d looked at her as he had the prior Sunday, and had touched her cheek in just the same way.
Kate had thought about that evening a great deal over the last two days. She’d wondered what it meant, where it would lead. Now she was beginning to get a clue. Eric’s visit tonight had clearly been planned. He was making an effort to see her, to get to know her better, to spend time with her. In other words, he was letting her know he was interested in her. At the same time, she sensed that he would wait for her to give him a sign that she wanted their relationship to move to a deeper level.
But Kate wasn’t prepared to do that yet. She needed more time to sort through her conflicting emotions—and loyalties. With a self-conscious smile, she turned back to the cabinet and busied herself with the plates and glasses.
Eric got the message. Kate wasn’t ready to cross the line from friendship to anything else yet. And frankly, he wasn’t sure he was, either. So he would wait. And in time the Lord would show them both the way.
Somehow the Friday-night dinners became a regular event. So did Sunday church, with breakfast afterward. And Eric began calling her during the we
ek to share amusing stories about his young patients and to ask about her day. Sometimes he would drop in unexpectedly for coffee, or sweep everyone off to an impromptu dinner out, much to Sarah’s delight—not to mention her mother’s.
Occasionally their evenings would be interrupted by Eric’s pager, and though he always apologized, Kate assured him that she didn’t mind. His deep compassion and fervent commitment to his work were part of who he was. To change that would be to change his very essence. And she liked him just the way he was.
By late October, he had become so much a part of their lives that the loneliness of the last five years began to recede in her mind until it was only a dim, unpleasant memory. In fact, not only did she begin to forget what life had been like before Eric, it was becoming harder and harder to imagine a future without him.
“Okay, partner, we need to have a talk.”
Eric glanced up from his paperwork as Frank strode in with a determined look on his face, then dropped into the chair across from Eric’s desk.
“What’s up?” Eric asked mildly.
“We need to add a third physician to this practice,” he declared without preamble.
Eric’s eyebrows rose. “We’ve talked about this before.”
“I know. And you were always reluctant. But that was when we were just getting established and needed to work twelve hours a day. We’re past that now. We have a thriving practice. There’s plenty of work for a third doctor. Plus, we’ll only have to cover calls every third weekend instead of every two. With the baby coming, Mary thinks I need to lighten up my work schedule so I have more time to spend with the family. And I agree.”
“So do I.”
Frank opened his mouth to argue, stared at Eric, and shut it. “What did you say?”
“I said I agree.”
“Just like that? No protest? No litany of reasons why this isn’t a good time?”
“Nope.”
Frank stared at him, his expression slowly changing from astonishment to smugness as the light dawned. “Oh, I get it. It’s Kate.”
“Kate?”
“Don’t give me that innocent act. Of course it’s Kate. Things are heating up, huh?”
Eric thought about their basically platonic relationship and smiled ruefully. “I wouldn’t say that exactly.”
“Oh, come on, buddy. You can tell me. Just because I haven’t pestered you with questions about her lately doesn’t mean I forgot the way you looked at her at the barbecue. I knew then something was in the wind. You’re seeing her a lot, aren’t you?”
“As a matter of fact, yes.”
Frank grinned. “I thought so. Listen, I think that’s great. It’s about time you had something more in your life than a job and charity work. I’m glad for you, pal. This third partner will help us both out.”
“Do you have someone in mind?”
“Absolutely. Carolyn Clark.”
Eric knew her. She was one of the hardest-working pediatric residents he’d ever met, and her educational credentials were impressive. She’d be a good fit. “Is she interested?”
“Yep.”
“Let’s talk to her, then.”
Frank shook his head incredulously. “You know, I thought I was going to have to do a real sell job on you about this.”
Eric chuckled. “Not this time.”
“So…I take it things are going well with Kate.” Frank leaned back and crossed an ankle over a knee, clearly settling in for a long interrogation.
Eric looked at his friend speculatively as he recalled something his mother had said to him weeks ago about his partner’s ability to balance marriage and medicine. He hesitated for a moment, then spoke carefully. “Can I ask you something, Frank?”
At the serious tone in Eric’s voice, Frank straightened. “Sure. Shoot.”
Eric steepled his fingers and sighed. “I guess it’s no secret that Cindy and I made a mess of our marriage. And one of the biggest problems was my career. She hated how it intruded on our relationship and interrupted our private life. It was a major problem, and I just couldn’t seem to solve it. If I had been able to, our marriage might not have fallen apart.”
Frank’s eyes narrowed. “It wasn’t just your problem, Eric.”
“What do you mean?”
Frank spoke slowly, obviously choosing his words carefully. “Doctors’ lives—whatever their specialty—don’t belong completely to them. That’s just the nature of the job. And good doctors—the ones who really care, who take the Hippocratic oath seriously—always serve two masters. Yes, we care for our families and the people we love. But we also have an obligation to do our best for the people we serve. Our patients’ lives are literally in our hands. You don’t have to marry a doctor to realize that. Cindy knew what she was getting into, Eric. Don’t beat yourself up about that. She just wasn’t willing to play second fiddle—ever. I think that reflects more on her than on you.”
Eric wanted to believe Frank. But the doubts went too deep and were of too long a duration to be dispelled so quickly by his partner’s reassurance. “What about you and Mary, Frank? How do the two of you deal with the demands? Doesn’t Mary ever resent them?”
“Honestly? No. Which doesn’t mean she isn’t disappointed on occasion when my professional obligations interfere with our plans. But she accepts it as part of what makes me tick. And she knows I do everything I can to put her first the rest of the time and make time for us as a couple—like pushing for a third partner,” he said, flashing a grin. “So we’ve never had any problems.”
Eric looked at Frank silently for a moment, then sighed. “I wish I could be sure it worked like that for everyone.”
Frank stood, his expression serious. “Don’t let one bad experience stop you from having a good one, Eric. I don’t know Kate very well. But I liked what I saw. Cindy’s gone now. There’s nothing except fear to keep you from moving forward. And let me say one more thing. You’re just about the most conscientious, caring person I know. If you couldn’t make a marriage work, nobody could. And if you ever tell anybody I got this mushy, I’ll deny it,” he finished with a smile as he exited.
Eric stared after him thoughtfully. He and Frank had been friends for a long time. Usually his colleague hid his deeper feelings under an umbrella of humor. But just now he’d spoken from the heart. Eric appreciated his flattering words, as well as his honesty. And Frank was right. He was afraid. Now the question was, could he get over those fears enough to take another chance on love?
Anna handed Kate another pin, then backed up and critically surveyed the hem of Sarah’s angel costume. “I think that will do it. I’ll run it up for you on the machine tomorrow, Kate.”
Kate stood and lifted Sarah down from the sturdy kitchen chair, giving her a hug as she lowered her to the floor. “You’re a beautiful angel, honey.”
“Are we going to make the wings next week?” the little girl asked excitedly.
“Absolutely. Dr. Eric said he’d get some wire for us at the hardware store for the frame.”
“Mommy’s been working on the wreath for my hair at night after I go to bed,” Sarah told Anna. “It’s really pretty!”
“I think you’ll be the loveliest angel there ever was,” Anna declared with a smile. “Now let’s get that gown off so it stays clean. Angels always look nice and neat, you know.”
“I can’t thank you enough for all your help, Anna,” Kate said warmly when Sarah scampered off to play. “In a way, I feel that Sarah has a brand-new grandmother.”
“Well, it’s a role I always wanted to play,” Anna reminded her as she laid the gown over the sewing machine. “I love taking care of her. It’s given me a new sense of purpose. I still miss Walter every day, of course, but it’s easier to bear, somehow, knowing that you and Sarah are counting on me.” She paused and turned to the younger woman. “And speaking of watching Sarah—I know this is rather short notice, Kate, but my cousin called last night. She and a friend were planning to go on a cruise the week
of Thanksgiving, and her friend had to back out at the last minute. She asked me to go instead. I’ve always wanted to take a cruise, and this seemed like a providential opportunity. So I told her yes. But I’m afraid that means I can’t watch Sarah on Monday and Tuesday of Thanksgiving week.”
“Oh, Anna, don’t give it another thought!” Kate assured her. “I’m thrilled for you! And Thanksgiving is still three weeks away. I have plenty of time to make other arrangements.”
“Actually, I spoke with my neighbor—a lovely young woman, very responsible, with two small children of her own. Sarah’s played with them on occasion. She said she’d be happy to watch her. I know you’re leaving for your sister’s Wednesday, and I’ll be back Sunday night. So it’s only for two days.”
Kate was touched by the older woman’s consideration. “Thank you, Anna. That sounds perfect,” she said warmly. “And I hope you have a wonderful time on your cruise.”
“Oh, I expect we will. Except…”
“Except what?” Kate prompted when Anna’s voice trailed off.
“Well, I’m a little concerned about Eric. He’ll be by himself on Thanksgiving, and I’m afraid it will be hard for him. It’s always been the three of us on holidays. But when I spoke to him last night about the trip, he encouraged me to go and assured me he’d be fine. So I suppose I shouldn’t worry. He’ll probably go to Frank’s.”
Kate frowned. Eric wouldn’t be spending the holiday with Frank because they were going to Mary’s parents’ house. He’d probably end up working the whole four-day weekend. Unless…
“Is something wrong, dear?” Anna asked, eyeing the younger woman with concern.
Kate forced herself to smile. “Not a thing.” There was no sense mentioning the idea that had just popped into her head. Especially when she wasn’t sure she would follow through on it, anyway.
“Hi, Amy.”
“Kate? It’s my Sunday, isn’t it?”
“Yes. But Eric is stopping by in a little while, so I thought I’d just go ahead and call. Are you in the middle of something?”