"He's not worth anything, but he's special to me, and I really didn't want to give you anything with any less importance. He's already not enough. If I had ten bunnies, I would give them all to you."
He stared at me with a sincere expression. I thought he was going to say something profound, but then the corners of his mouth turned upward and a little grin. "You love me," he said.
"What makes you say that?"
"Bunny," he said. "Did you really wrap him up?"
I nodded.
"Either you leave, and you give me the most important relic of your childhood, or you stay and I get to keep him and you. Either way, you love me."
I gave him a slow sincere smile. "It's the best Christmas ever," I said, in absolute wonder.
Jesse must have liked that comment because preceded to kiss me. This time, he wasn't playing around. He backed me up against the wall, kissing me like he wanted to make a point and that point was stay here with me.
I kissed him back, and my kiss said, yes, of course, I'll go wherever you go and stay wherever you stay. We talked and laughed in between all sorts of different kisses, some chaste and on the cheek, and others, deep and meaningful.
"They're probably waiting on us to eat dinner," he said, after several long minutes.
He was right when he said I loved him. I didn't want it to end. I wiped the edges of my mouth while we pulled apart as if doing so would clear off any evidence that I'd just been kissed silly.
We drove to the house on the four-wheeler. Jesse parked by the back door and got to his feet before helping me down. He held my hand on the way into the house, and just before we went inside he turned to me.
He had a half smile as he casually whispered, "Marry me and spend the rest of your life with me."
"Okay," I whispered without hesitation.
His statement had come out so easily that my easy agreement to it felt natural. He was smiling as he reached in front of me to open the door.
"I like you," I whispered as he opened the door, revealing his family on the other side.
Every single one of them looked at the door when he opened it, so I smiled and waved instinctually.
"She likes me," Jesse said, repeating the words I had just whispered to him.
"I knew she did," CeCe called. "I told you guys."
Everyone spoke at once, giving their two cents on whether or not they could tell I liked Jesse and/or he liked me. I turned to smile at Jesse with wide eyes, and he smiled back at me before bending to let his lips fall on mine again. Everyone stopped talking the minute he did it, and they all made various noises as a reaction, causing us to smile at each other.
His mother was crying by the time I turned to face them. I could see, even from across the room, that she was so relieved by the change in her son that she just couldn't hold in the tears even though she tried. She shook her head and turned to wipe her eyes with a towel, and Jesse tugged me into the kitchen so we could join them for dinner.
Epilogue
One year later
It had been a year since I left Kentucky, and I hadn't looked back. I had been in touch with Kristen a few times, and she had plans to come visit us sometime within the next year. Jesse was so touched by her generosity with helping me get out of town, that he mailed her an envelope with twice the amount of cash she had given me. She was obviously a fan of Jesse after that. She told me Jeff was seeing someone else, which was honestly a relief, even though I kind of felt bad for the girl.
After only a few nights at Jesse's, I moved in with his parents at the farm. I rented a room from them. It was the same arrangement they had with Marisol where the price of rent (which was extremely reasonable) came out of her salary.
Jesse would have married me instantly, but I couldn’t just fall right into a life with him after he picked me up on the side of the road like that. I wanted to, but I knew it wouldn't be right. So, when the Wards came to me with the idea of me renting a room, I knew that was the choice to make.
During my time there, I got really close with both Lou and Marisol. They gave me a lot of the motherly advice I missed out on growing up. The arrangement sort of worked out for Jesse, too, because living with them was like going to cooking school. I grew up on Hot Pockets, so slicing and seasoning meat and vegetables was a foreign concept to me, and I had come to like it very much.
Nina and CeCe both lived close and were around quite a bit. I was surrounded by a loving family for the first time in my life. I felt like a sponge that had been all dried up my whole life, and now I was just soaking in the love.
I lived out at the farm for nine months until Jesse and I got married this past September, and I moved into his place. I still go to his parents' place on weekdays to keep up with the list of chores that had become my job. I love working on the farm, and feel grateful for accidently finding that career path.
Donna and Jack had a litter of six puppies before we got them fixed. Lou fell in love with the white one and kept it for herself, and CeCe let Drew and June adopt one as well. We found good homes for the others, which was difficult because I was tempted to keep them all.
Oh, and on the subject of my beautiful violin:
I decided to teach myself instead of seeking out an instructor. I chose to focus on one song, and since it was one that made a personal impact on me during the time when I received my violin, I chose O Holy Night.
Note by note, I learned the song. I learned how to shape my hands around the instrument in the exact way to produce the notes of this song and this song only. I practiced it every day. It had been a year since I started, and by this point, playing it was a matter of muscle memory. The movements it took to play O Holy Night on my violin were embedded in my mind. I could literally play it in my sleep. I could play nothing else, which was sort of weird, but my goal was to learn that song, and I could honestly say I had mastered it.
I practiced out in the barn where no one else could hear me—no humans, at least. So, I was officially shaking in my boots for what was about to go down.
"Why did I get myself into this?" I asked nervously as Jesse and I made our way through the crowded street.
He was holding my hand as he led me to the stage. "I got you into it," he said. "You've got to let people hear you play that song."
"It's weird that I can't play anything else, though. What if they ask me to play something else?"
"Nobody's gonna do that. Just bow and walk off the stage when you're done."
There was a small classical ensemble playing Christmas songs at the annual lighting of the Christmas tree downtown, and there was a large crowd in spite of it being cold outside. Lou knew one of the players, and she asked them if I could sit in on one song. I went and played it with the band a week before in preparation for the performance. They seemed to like my rendition of it, and said I could just perform it as a solo, but I refused, knowing I'd be thankful to blend in with the band. There were two other violins, so even if I hit a wrong note, it would be okay.
The band was playing The Little Drummer Boy when Jesse and I made it up to the stage. We talked to one of the musician's wives, who seemed to know what was going on. She said they all needed a break, and would be much obliged if I played the song by myself. I said no, but my husband, God forgive him, insisted that I'd do it.
The next thing I knew, I was standing near a microphone with my violin in hand. The band was intended to be background music at the festivities, so no one bothered announcing me or the fact that the others were taking a break—they just threw me out there and told me to play.
I started to worry about the many terrifying things that could happen, but then I realized that was a little selfish of me. The whole point of me learning O Holy Night was that the lyrics of it had spoken to my heart. I thought of God and how He makes the weary world rejoice. I thought of the thrill of hope the song speaks about, and I knew I had to play it. Not for anyone's approval, or to use my fancy violin, but as an act of worship.
I took
a deep breath, taking it in and letting it out as I brought the violin up to my chin. I drew the bow across the strings and hit that familiar first note.
My body knew just what to do.
I played it with my eyes closed. I thought of beautiful lyrics as I played the notes, and they flowed out of me.
O holy night!
The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Savior's birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Til He appear'd and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!
Fall on your knees.
O hear the angel voices!
O night divine,
O night when Christ was born.
O night divine!
O night, O night divine
I played the whole song, singing the lyrics in my head as I pushed and pulled the bow across the strings. I played the song like no one but God and the sheep were listening, and by the time I hit the last note, I was sad to have it come to an end.
It didn't matter if I could only play one song, I played it as an act of gratitude, and it felt amazing. I opened my eyes and smiled shyly at the crowd as I took a little bow and headed off to my right. My plan was to run off the stage as quickly as possible.
The other musicians had begun coming back onto the little stage, and they were smiling at me and clapping as they walked toward me. One of them pointed over my shoulder as if to indicate that I should turn and look at the crowd instead of running off.
I turned to see that most of the previously preoccupied faces in the crowd were now staring at the stage. They were smiling and clapping as if I had just done something great.
Completely overwhelmed, I smiled and waved again, bowing slightly in their general direction before turning to walk off the stage.
Jesse was standing at the bottom of the steps, waiting to catch me, and I walked straight into his arms. He hugged me before pulling back with a smile.
"Mae, that was…" he hesitated, as if truly unable to think of a word to describe it.
I smiled nervously. "Say something," I said. "Because I barely remember it. I think I blacked out. I practiced it so much that my body just took over."
"Mae, that was so beautiful to watch."
Just then, a person I didn't know came up to us. It was a lady with two young boys. "We loved your song," she said.
"Thank you," I said, bowing awkwardly since I wasn't accustomed to taking such a compliment.
"Do you have a card?" she asked. "Our office has a Christmas party every year—" she trailed off when she saw my regretful expression.
"You must be booked," she said, putting words in my mouth.
I giggled. "The opposite, actually. It's the only song I know. Literally."
She stared straight at me like what I had just said did not compute.
"I learned it on YouTube," I explained, moving my face in front of her line of vision since she was completely zoned out.
"You can only play one song?" she asked, still looking flabbergasted.
I smiled and nodded, thinking what an expressive face she had.
"I don't understand how you play like that," she said. "You played like you were performing for the Queen of England."
"Or the King of the Universe," I said giggling as I fell onto Jesse's shoulder. He reached out and put a protective arm around me. "No, I really appreciate it," I added, smiling at the lady. "I was really nervous to get up there."
She studied me with that same perplexed expression. "One song?" she asked again, thinking surely she had misunderstood.
"One song," I said. "I practiced it over and over for a whole year."
"I guess if you learn one a year, after a while, you'll have a whole concert," she said. "And then you can get a business card and play my office party."
"I'd love that," I said, smiling.
She reached out to shake my hand, telling me again how moving my performance had been. Jesse's family came up right after her, offering their congratulations and saying how proud they were. As we were talking, someone else came up to us, wanting to remark on my song.
I ended up talking to about five different groups of people by the time it was all said and done, and all of them were equally as taken aback when I told them it was the only thing I could play. Their complements and encouragement had me feeling like maybe I could learn two songs next year instead of just one.
Jesse carried my violin as we walked back to his truck. "You're the hottest girl I know," he said, flirting with me as he opened the door.
"And I'm freezing!" I said, making a corny joke. I walked in front of him so I could step into the truck, wrinkling my face at him on my way. "You're hot," I added, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.
He was hot. He had on a beanie, and I had learned to love wintertime simply because he looked so good in them. He tugged on my shirt and leaned toward me to kiss me again, this time right on the lips. Our mouths touched softly, causing me to feel a warm sensation in my abdomen. I let out a little moan, and he smiled as he closed the door and ran around to his side of the truck.
I never knew I'd love Virginia, or working on a farm, or playing violin, or any of it, but there I was, with a new lease on life. Jesse wasn't my guardian angel, nor was I his. We were just two people with the right set of imperfections that made us fit into each other's lives perfectly. We were like puzzle pieces, being shaped and shifted to eventually find each other and fit together. It didn't much matter what it had taken to get us there, only that we were.
The End
Merry Christmas from my family to yours!
Other titles available from Brooke St. James:
Another Shot:
A Modern-Day Ruth and Boaz Story
When Lightning Strikes
Something of a Storm (All in Good Time #1)
Someone Someday (All in Good Time #2)
Finally My Forever (Meant for Me #1)
Finally My Heart's Desire (Meant for Me #2)
Finally My Happy Ending (Meant for Me #3)
Shot by Cupid's Arrow
Dreams of Us
Meet Me in Myrtle Beach (Hunt Family #1)
Kiss Me in Carolina (Hunt Family #2)
California's Calling (Hunt Family #3)
Back to the Beach (Hunt Family #4)
It's About Time (Hunt Family #5)
Loved Bayou (Martin Family #1)
Dear California (Martin Family #2)
My One Regret (Martin Family #3)
Broken and Beautiful (Martin Family #4)
Back to the Bayou (Martin Family #5)
Almost Christmas Page 13