by K. Renee
"Night Jaxson. I love you," she whispers back.
When I get to my truck the only thing I can think about is the last words she said to me tonight. Does she really still love me or is it just in her head? I've longed to hear those words come out of her mouth again for years.
The words "I love you, Jaxson," made me feel like I couldn’t breathe. When I finally pull up to my house, I feel like I can breathe for the first time in forever. Maybe not all is lost between us. Maybe we can make things work out after all.
Making my way inside, I look around my living room and remember why I built this house in the first place. For years, I got to listen to Lyn's dream house. She was so excited for the future that she would draw what our country home would look like. I'm sure she never expected it to be here in Texas, but that is where it is.
The vaulted ceilings, the wood work, the kitchen, and the master bedroom were all her idea. She had them drawn up perfectly. The only thing that was my idea was the entertainment room. It’s the total man room, the one place I don't get caught remembering the way she kissed me like I was everything to her.
Heading to my room, I see Max lying on my rug in front of the four poster bed. As soon as he sees me, he comes running over to me. At least someone is happy to see me. I scratch his head and walk back into the kitchen to get him some food and water. Man's best friend is the only person I come home to anymore. Max is a full blooded German Sheppard who loves me more than anything. It's easy to say, I feel the same way about him. He's always been here for me and would never leave if he had the choice.
Once he digs in, I make my way to the shower. I need to get her scent off of me before I do something stupid like go back to her parent's place.
Once I'm showered and ready for bed, I slip under the covers and plug my phone into the charger. Before I can even lie down, I get a message.
Tate: How did things go?
Me: I don’t even know. At least she didn’t try and kill me
Tate: lol that’s a start man
Me: yeah. You still coming by to help me tomorrow?
Tate: yup I’ll be there
Me: Thanks man
Setting my phone on the night stand, I close my eyes and pray that I don't dream of her.
Waking up the next morning, I have a raging hard on that won't go away. All night I tossed and turned thinking about Lyndley. The feeling of having her in my arms again made my brain short circuit, now she's all I can think of.
Getting out of bed, I grab a pair of jeans and pull them on. Adjusting myself enough to be comfortable, I grab some socks and my boots. Once I get my boots on, I grab a clean t-shirt and my old ball cap. Max whines at the French doors, so I let him out.
Walking into the kitchen I start the coffee and grab a few pieces of bread to make toast. Once I finish eating and am starting on my second cup of coffee I hear a knock at the door. Not knowing who would be here this early, since I know damn well Tate is still probably in bed with who knows who, I make my way over to the front door.
Looking out the peep hole I see her standing there looking unsure of herself. Almost like she doesn't know why she's here. Slowly opening the door, I come face to face with the girl who haunts my dreams, and every memory that I give a damn about.
"Hi." she says quietly.
I motion for her to come in and she tentatively takes a step inside my house. I don't know if I'm dreaming or not, but if I am, then I never want to wake up.
"Hey Lyn. Everything okay?" Watching her fidget is quite amusing. She was always so sure of herself before.
"I just wanted to say thank you for what you did last night. I know I don't deserve your kindness, but I really appreciate it." Watching her I can tell I still make her nervous.
"Lyn I would do anything for you. It was nothing." A small smile forms on her lips and I get a strong urge to kiss her. Before I can keep from acting on it, she starts to move closer to me. Holding my breath I wait for what she does.
"I'm sorry I never knew your father passed away. I feel terrible that I wasn't there for you when you needed me." When she looks up at me, I know she means it. She was always close with my parents and it's a shame that my dad didn't live longer. There are so many times that I wished he was here to witness the things I’ve accomplished or the changes I made on the ranch. He would love this place even more now. He would love the house I built not to far from the house I grew up in.
Shaking my head, I brush her statement off. I don't want her to know how much I needed her at that time of my life. Before I can change the topic, she starts to speak again. "I thought that your mom would hate me when I showed up on her door step this morning."
I can't help but laugh. I used to joke with my parents that they loved her more than me, because it's true. They've always loved her like their own daughter. "Yeah my momma still loves you more than me." Her smile comes back, it's got to be my favorite thing in the world.
Tucking her hair behind her ear, I see the scar she got when we were jumping off the tree into the pond our junior year. It's not very big, but I know that it's there. Moving closer to her, I run my finger along the scar, tracing the jagged line of it.
I feel the spark between us and her eyes lift to mine. She can feel it too; I know she can. Lowering my lips to hers, I can't help but feel my stomach flip flop at the thought of kissing her again. When our lips connect, I feel the electricity just like before, if not more. Pulling her body closer to mine, I devour her mouth. Her tongue sweeps into my mouth and I know she can't fight the feelings between us.
Before I know it, she's pulling away from me like she's on fire. Her face is flush and her eyes are wild. Shit this may go bad. “I… I… got to go,” she stumbles out. I watch her turn towards the door. Before she can open it, I’m right behind her with one hand holding it closed. She tries to pull the door open, but I don’t let it open. Turning to face me, she looks guilty. I don’t know why, but she does.
“Jax, I can’t.” She states shaking her head.
“Lynnie, I know you want it just as bad as I do.” I state, staring into her eyes.
She bites her bottom lip, I wish it was me doing the biting. “Jax, I’m not the same girl you knew all those years ago. I’ve changed and trust me, I’m not who you want.”
Her statement floors me and I have a hard time telling her she’s wrong. What would she of possibly done to make me not like her.
“Lynnie you’ll always be the one for me. I promised to love you till death do us part and I won’t give up on us. I gave you the time you needed away, but now that you're back I’m not letting you walk away.” I crush my mouth to hers and kiss her with ten years of missed passion. She’s kissing me back with the same amount of passion and pushes me into the living room. Picking her up, I walk us over to the kitchen counter.
Setting her on the counter, I kiss down her neck. Her small hands inch their way down to the hem of my shirt. When her cold fingers slide across my abs, I can’t help but moan. I trail my hands under her shirt and pull it off of her body. Her mouthwatering tits are on display for me in her Barely There bra.
When she starts to pull my shirt up, I help her out and pull it over my head. She leans over and starts to kiss along my chest and straight to my neck. Fuck. Having her mouth on me again almost makes me come before anything even happens. Her short jean skirt is barely covering her panties as it is, so I pull it up. Gripping her tiny black thong, I slide it down her toned, tan legs. Her heels look like something off of a runway, its fucking turning me on even more.
Kneeling down in front of her, I lower my mouth to her pussy. I can already smell her desire. She wants this just as much as I do. Her hands grip my hair and I run my tongue across her clit. Her hips move closer to my tongue and I spear it inside of her sweet pussy. She tastes way better than I remember. Her hands loosen on my hair and she slowly lies back on the counter, giving me better access. Sucking her clit in my mouth, I gently bite down and swirl my tongue around her nub. Her moans a
re filling my kitchen and my dick is hard as a rock.
Pulling her closer to the edge, I trail kisses up her body. When I get to her perfect tits, I pull one of the cups down and suck her nipple into my mouth. “Oh God Jax.” She groans as I bite down. After I unzip my jeans, I feel her feet pushing them down as far as she can. Stroking my cock, I line myself up with her perfect pussy.
She leans us up and kisses me deeply. Thrusting inside of her, I feel her pussy clamp around my cock so fucking tight that I think I’m going to explode. It feels like coming back home for me. “Fuck Lynnie, you feel so damn good.” I grunt out.
“Ahhh,” she breathes as I start my pace. Grabbing her hands, I put them behind her back and hold them with one hand. She struggles for a second, but then she gives herself over to me. Just knowing that she gives me that, makes me want to come right this second. Grinding her hips into me, she moans out my name as I pound into her with long hard strokes.
Her eyes roll back and her head falls as she screams out her orgasm. I almost forgot how fucking sexy she is when she comes. When her pussy squeezes me, I can’t help but come right after her. “Fuck, Lyn.” I groan as I fill her with my cum. It's been far too long since I've been inside her.
Collapsing on her, I try to take most of my weight off of her. She runs her fingers up and down my back, it takes me back to the last time we ever had sex. We were young and dumb and had sex everywhere we could.
“Jaxson,” she whispers. I look up into her beautiful eyes and wait for her to continue. “I’m a mess. Please trust me when I tell you that you don’t want a girl like me. What just happened can’t happen again. I’m too broken to be the woman you want and remember.”
What in the hell is she talking about?
“How can you not be what I want Lyn? You’re what I want. You’ve always been what I wanted. Hell, I even went to New York to see you after my dad passed away, but you looked so happy that I couldn’t bring myself to let you know I was there.” Looking at the ground, I remember how heartbroken I was when I had seen that she’d moved on with someone else. We had already been apart for a year and a half, I knew that there was no way I’d get her back after that.
Her gasp makes me focus on her again. “You came to New York? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Shaking my head I just smirk. “Because I wasn’t sure your boyfriend would like to know that your husband had come from Texas to try and win you back.”
I watch her flinch and I know I shouldn’t have said that. In just a few minutes time, she’s pushing me out of the way and throwing her clothes on as fast as she can. Before I can stop her, she’s out the door.
Fuck.
Instead of wallowing, I pull my jeans up and button them. Throwing my shirt back on, I head out to start the chores for the day.
Over the next few weeks, I try and get Lyn to talk to me, but she refuses. Hell, I’ve even stopped by her parents place a few times. I just want to know what the fuck happened the morning we had sex. I am dying to get that girl back where she belongs.
I know she thinks that she’s not good enough for me anymore, but I won’t let that stop me. When we made those vows, I intended to keep them. I know over the last ten years, we technically didn’t, but I want to change that. I want to be faithful to her, I want to watch her belly grow when she’s pregnant with my kids.
Walking down to the diner to meet Tate for lunch, I see her walking down the street. Running to catch up to her, I grab her arm to stop her from leaving without talking to me. “Lynnie, we need to talk.” I rush out. I don’t want to give her a chance to run away from me again.
“Jax, please don’t.” She pleads with me. She tries to pull away, but I don’t let her.
“Lynnie we need to talk about the other morning.” I start, but before I can say anything else she cuts me off.
"No." She shakes her head and tries to walk away.
I hear someone call out my name and when I turn, she breaks free of my grasp and takes off running. Dammit.
I see Sheila coming over to me and I want to choke her for interrupting the one time I've finally got Lyndley alone. Plastering a fake smile on my face I say hi to her.
"Oh my God! Was that Lyndley? Wow she looks amazing! I'm so glad you guys broke up after high school. It gave all the rest of the girls in town a chance to sack the quarterback." She winks at me and I do my best not to do or say anything to get me into trouble. I'd be the talk of the town in minutes.
"Yeah, she looks fantastic. But hey, I have to go. It was good seeing you Sheila." I turn to walk away and I hear her muttering under her breath about how Lyndley will always have power over me. Smiling, I know that's definitely true. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Making my way to the diner, I spot Tate sitting in our normal booth fiddling with his phone. Walking inside, I drop into the seat in front of him and grab a menu.
"Hey asshole." I say hitting his phone out of his hands with the menu.
"What's up man? I saw you talking to Lyn. How'd it go?"
Blowing out a breath, I drop the menu and shake my head. "She's so God damn stubborn. I thought we made progress until I said something to piss her off." I sigh.
"Wait you made progress? Did you guys fuck?" He asks with a shocked expression.
"What? No." I say shaking my head. How the fuck did he know that?
"You're so full of shit! Was it as good as you remember?" He asks throwing a straw wrapper at me.
Shaking my head, I refuse to answer. There is no way I'm telling him about that. When the waitress comes over, we place our orders and I watch Tate flirt with her for a few minutes. He will never change that's for sure. In high school he was voted biggest flirt. Some things never change around here.
Once he's done and Carly goes to put our order in, he turns back to me and waits for me to give him some dirty details.
"Did you guys at least talk about anything?" He asks with a grin.
"Yeah. I ended up telling her about when I went to New York to beg her to come home with me." His eyes widen at that. When I came home alone and even more pissed than I left, he knew that shit didn't go well between us while I was there. I wouldn't talk about it either.
"Holy shit. What did she say?"
"That topic is kinda why she left in a fucking hurry that morning. I told her about seeing her with another man and how I didn't think he'd appreciate me ruining his chance." Drumming my fingers on the table, I get antsy. I don't really want to talk about this, but I know Tate's just gonna keep asking a million questions if I don't tell him now.
Our food comes, I'm glad to have something to keep myself from talking any more about it. I hate thinking about her in the arms of another man. It kills me to know that someone else made her happy for a period of her life.
"You're not gonna give up are you?" Tate asks as he shovels eggs and hash browns into his mouth. Sometimes I swear he was born in a fucking barn. I don't know how he pulls the girls he does.
"She's mine and I'll do whatever I have to for her to see that we are meant to be." I pick up a piece of toast and take a bite.
Once we finish eating, we make our way to the ranch and handle the day's chores before it gets too late. Working day and night helps me keep my mind off of the brunette that haunts my dreams every night.
Just as I'm about to head to the gym to burn off some of my sexual frustration, I hear my phone go off.
Unknown: Can we talk?
Me: Yeah Lynnie, what's up?
Programming her new number in my phone, I think about all the things she could possibly tell me.
Lynnie: This is probably something that we need to talk about in person...
Me: Well I'm at home if you want to come by
Lynnie: Okay, I'll be there in a few.
What could she possible want to tell me that has her wanting to talk to me in person all of a sudden. Racking my brain, I can't think of one single reason that she would want to talk.
Hearing a soft knock at the d
oor, I brace myself for whatever she has to tell me. Opening the door, I see that she already has tears falling down her face. Reaching my hand out, I wait for her to make the first move.
When her fingers wrap around mine, I pull her through the door and into my arms. I hate seeing tears in her eyes, I really hope that I’m not the one who put them there. Resting my cheek on the top of her head, I ask her what’s wrong.
Pulling away from me, she walks over to the couch and takes a seat. “You may want to sit for this.” she says softly. Sitting next to her, I wait for her to begin.
“After I went off to college, I found out I was pregnant.” Oh fuck. Wait, then where is my kid? Did she have an… No, she would never do that. God my mind is spinning, I have no idea what to think right now. She was pregnant. We made a baby. She never told me. Why the fuck did she never tell me?
“I can see your mind spinning Jax. Please let me finish the story before you say or do anything please.” She begs. All I can do is nod my head. I don’t trust the words that are probably going to come out of my mouth right now.
“As scared as I was about having a baby, I was excited too. It meant I still had a piece of you to hold on to. The baby was the only thing that kept me sane after we broke up. I knew that even if we didn’t make it, the baby would always love me.”
She gets a faraway look in her eyes and I know that something happened. Part of me doesn’t want to hear the rest of the story, but I know I need to. Knowing that I was going to be a father means something to me.
Grabbing her hand, I thread my fingers through hers. A small smile appears across her lips and I wish that I could always keep her happy.