“Why'd you do that?” asked the one with glasses. “It's fucking cold out here! Shit hurts more when it's cold.”
“Fuck you!” screamed Chase. Theia was more in shock than pain. She refused to cry, though couldn't help grimacing and holding her jaw as she lay on the pavement. “Go ahead. Cry like a baby. Nobody can take me on!”
Deal with it, deal with it, deal with it. Theia eventually stood up.
“Go ahead. Give me your best shot, girl.” Theia shook her head, keeping her head lowered to appease him. “Yeah, that's what I thought!”
“I just need...”She paused, cringing at the pain. “...friends,” she finished softly. She clenched her fists tight. “But I'm not going to take off my clothes.” Chase and the others laughed hysterically. All but one of them.
“Whatever,” said Chase, bumping Theia's shoulder as he passed her. The other four followed.
Theia waited until she could see everyone's back before joining them. Though behind them, she felt no safer, from harm or criticism. She knew her place, but that did not disturb her. They were older than her, but were as mature as kids half their age, so she felt. No one spoke about where Chase was leading them, but not because he failed to tell them. It seemed no one cared. The boys were exchanging puerile jokes, personal jabs, and comments on their surroundings. Primarily, their favorite subject of discussion was all the places they had been and all the people they stole from, escaped from, or assaulted. The end of the world seemed like the perfect place for them. Theia felt lucky they didn't try to harm her any more than Chase already had. It wasn't the best company, but it was company nonetheless.
Listening was the sole available activity, apart from walking, which bored Theia. More than anything, she simply wanted to know their names. Maybe I just need to get to know them, she thought when thinking about their immature personalities, particularly Chase's alpha male complex. She followed them further down the street, finally catching desired information when she heard one of the boys say, “-but my mom was just a junkie.”
“Spencer, your mom wasn't just a junkie. Your mom was a hot junkie,” said Chase.
Theia took note that the kid with glasses was Spencer. He seemed to be Chase's favorite.
“Are you guys making another stupid 'your mom' joke?” Spencer replied.
“No, I'm totally serious. I'd bang her,” said Chase.
Theia knew what that word meant, and it disgusted her. She was growing increasingly uncomfortable, regretting to have even started listening at that point. Nothing the boys exchanged meliorated her opinion of them. Only one of them kept to himself, rarely speaking – the bigger kid wearing a brown, oversized shirt who was only an inch shorter than Chase. That one appeared to be her age. His silence virtually made him invisible to her before.
She heard Chase continue the subject. “Dude, Josh, how old's your mom? She's like super young right? How old was she when she popped you out? Seventeen, eighteen?”
“Sixteen,” said Josh sounding ashamed. He seemed to be nearly as shy as the bigger kid wearing brown.
“Oooh!” two of the other three boys screamed. Chase commented, “So, she's only like twenty-something now!”
Theia struggled to concentrate. She forgot where they were, and even forgot that it was raining. “You weren't supposed to be born!” echoed throughout her mind.
“I wanted you aborted.”
“Why can't you get anything right?”
Her failures, her mistakes, her shortcomings; they all came crashing down on her, riddling her with guilt and shame. Admittedly, she never understood what she did wrong. She always had good grades in school, and she never hurt anyone, but it was never good enough. “I don't want her anyway.” That was the last thing she heard her mother say to her father before he went away; the last time she saw him.
Then, she snapped. “Can you stop talking about your mothers! It's sick!”
The boys stopped, looking at her with surprise. Chase laughed condescendingly. “Well, all right then. The lady said stop, so I guess we have to stop.”
He had them continue onward, aimlessly, it seemed. After a couple minutes of walking, they encountered a massive gathering of pigeons, all eating old food scraps in peace. Chase charged at them with delight, causing them to fly away, but they returned to the ground once he walked back to his group.
They neared an apartment building over fifteen stories high. “Let's check this place out.” Without knowing why, Theia feared Chase would lead her to the top and throw her off.
The boys ran ahead, Theia reluctantly with them. “Wait!” she called. But they didn't hear her. Chase was the first to reach the walls of the building. Once the others reached it, he ran around the corner and kicked in the entrance glass doors. At least, he attempted to. The glass only deflected his foot. He tried one more time, and his foot finally broke through, shattering a hole scantly large enough for his head to fit through. The others laughed and didn't try to hide it. “The hell is so funny?” he shouted at them.
“Look at the other door, dumb ass,” said Spencer. Then Chase looked, and saw the other door was already completely shattered. He growled at them, but said nothing, and instead ran inside without waiting for the others.
Theia was offended for Chase, despite what she thought of him. People miss things sometimes! she wanted to explain to the others. The big kid in brown didn't run inside as the others did; he first waited politely for Theia to enter. “Thank you,” she said to him, but he said nothing back.
“Shhhh!” The hush came from Chase.
Everyone crouched behind corners and under the lobby's desks, keeping out of the line of sight of the main entrance. Theia hid by herself under a desk, though she wanted to have company; specifically the brown shirt boy, who seemed least likely to throw her in the way of danger to escape. She peeked her head up from the desk and witnessed what seemed to be a family of five – two older boys walking on each side of their little sister, with a mother and father guiding them. “It's just a family,” Theia whispered to her companions.
“Shut up!” one of them ordered. That was probably Chase, she thought. Even if it were Chase, she felt no obligation to hide from an innocent family that could possibly help them. She stood quickly and ran toward the family, but at the same time, Chase caught her, forcing her close.
“Don't. Move. A muscle!” He whispered in her ear close enough she could feel his teeth.
“It's just a family. They would never hurt-”
“Shut up, bitch!” She could feel the threat in his voice as his arm choked her. To avoid finding out if he was prepared to slit her throat, she relented, raising her arms in surrender. Then Chase ordered she return to her hiding place, and Theia obeyed.
They waited until the family was completely out of sight, then Chase approached Theia again, this time with Spencer behind him. “Stand up.” He ground his teeth. “Stand the fuck up.” Theia rose too slowly. “I'm in charge here, get it? You listen to me!” Theia nodded. “Good.”
Theia stepped back, retreating to solitude as Chase commanded his subjects to start moving upstairs. Spencer stayed behind when he noticed Theia stood idle. She moved at once after seeing him watch her. Behind her, the kid in brown waddled along. It was the first she recognized his large frame prevented him from walking normally. Theia made sure to keep close to him as the kids ascended the stairs. They stopped at the second floor, and Chase chose the apartment door nearest him to break into. The door was locked, so Chase attempted to kick the door in, but he had nowhere near the necessary strength. It again invoked anger in him. He tried the apartment immediately across, then down and down until he finally found an unlocked door at the end of the hall. The group followed him in, Theia being the most apprehensive. She entered with great caution, praying not to find a corpse inside. Would Chase even care? she asked herself.
“All right, bitches, we're gonna stay the fuck here tonight,” said Chase, plopping himself on the only bed there, which was a mold-drenched mat
tress on the floor. Theia was already sick of his cursing.
She paused, having heard something unusual. They won't be quiet if I asked, she thought, so she decided to investigate herself. She first probed the window. As always, there laid nothing but the ruins; nothing but a dead city as static as a picture. Someone's crying, she thought of the sound. She stepped over and around the rowdy kids she had the shame of calling her friends. She checked the bathroom, nearly throwing up when her eyes caught a glimpse of what was in the toilet. Then she checked the closet; still nothing. That couldn't have been wind? Maybe it's someone in another room. Assuming that being the case, she chose to ignore what she heard. She claimed an empty corner to sit in.
“So, what's your name, girl?” Chase inquired.
“Theia.”
Chase's face displayed disgust and confusion. “What the hell kind of name is that?”
“The one my parents gave me...” She meant no sarcasm or disrespect, but it was her only answer.
Chase's face sank. “Are you sassing me? You fuckin' sassin' me?”
“No, I'm just saying.”
“You sassing me?”
Chase seemed want to appear intimidating but he was only annoying her. “No,” she repeated. “I was just saying. My name means –”
“Nobody cares,” said Spencer.
“How come you guys never let me talk?”
“Shut up,” said Chase. It amused the other boys. Chase climbed on the mattress and starting jumping.
Theia would have been offended to be silenced, had she not heard that peculiar sound again. More than the first time, she was certain she heard something. Where else is there to look? She was lost in thought for a moment until she finally realized the one place she had not looked was under Chase's bed. She had a history of being terrified by things under her bed, but despite this, she slowly peered under the mattress, and saw someone. It was a woman. An old woman who was lying on her belly, her hands over her ears and her mouth buried in the carpet. Theia panicked, screaming, “Oh my god!” and fell backward.
Chase followed her eyes, leaping off the bed and finding the woman under the mattress he had been crushing. “Holy shit! Holy fucking shit!” He was laughing hysterically. “Look what I found, bitches!”
Chase ripped the woman out by her hair. “Stop it!” screamed Theia. Out of reflex, she nearly ran to save the woman, who was crying in pain.
Chase dragged her to the door then threw her out before saying, “Get the fuck out'a here.”
Theia snapped. She went to help the old woman, but Chase gripped her in a headlock, and threw her back inside.
“My god, you just don't get it!” How many times- He stopped himself. Chase crouched in fear and started collecting his things. “Go! Go!” he told the other kids. “Spence, grab what's-her-name.”
Theia was gripped by the arm before she knew what was happening. When Spencer dragged her into the hall, she saw the entire angry mob that had poured out of their apartments to defend the old lady. Chase ran as hard as he could; the people were attempting to seize them, but were failing. He heard them coming, she realized. At least she's safe, she thought of the old woman.
Spencer finally relinquished Theia when they escaped. Chase led the group sprinting into the streets as if being closely pursued. They fled down the adjacent road until Chase ran out of breath, which wasn't far. Spencer turned to Chase after they spent a moment catching their breaths. “Look, a food joint.”
“We've already checked that one out,” panted Chase.
“We did?” Spencer couldn't have looked more confused. “Well, it's somewhere to crash for the night.”
Chase looked at the sky. “It's not even very... Actually, you're probably right. Let's crash here. If anyone's hiding inside, we'll fucking deal with them.”
Does he mean kill them? He thinks it's okay to kill people? He won't even feel bad... Theia thought. Everyone followed their leader into the restaurant – a round delicatessen building. Nobody was found inside. Not yet, she thought.
Chase stretched as everyone dropped their belongings. “Hey, uh, girl with the weird name.” She looked at him grudgingly. “The hell was that all about? Why'd you go after that old fart?”
“You were hurting her.”
Even Sam smirked. “So, what? She was all up in our shit.”
Theia was annoyed a second time by the creep. “No, she wasn't.”
Chase slammed his fist on the counter. He stomped toward Theia. “You know what? You've been nothing but a fucking pain in my ass since you showed up-” When Chase had gotten close enough, Theia didn't hesitate to punch him with a straight arm in his nose. “Aaah!” He screamed, “Fuck this bitch! Grab her!” Sam and Spencer jumped in, pinning Theia down to the floor. Chase remained calm and knelt down at Theia. Just then, someone stood in their way, raising his arms up in silent protest. It was the big kid in brown. “Benny...? You can't be serious.”
“Just this once, don't be an asshole,” said Benny.
From what Theia saw, Chase was actually intimidated by Benny's size. It's probably why Chase keeps him around, she thought. Benny stood his ground, showing no fear of any retaliation from his leader. To her greatest surprise, Chase stood down.
“Go fuck yourself. Both of you,” said Chase.
Everyone was silent for a while. For once, Chase and his loyal dogs seemed to have nothing to say, with nothing perverted to banter about and nothing around to threaten except each other. Theia had thanked Benny for standing up for her, but he shyly avoided her still.
She retreated alone to the back kitchen. There was, as expected, no food available to eat except rotten vegetables and seasonings. She decided to sleep in the walk-in refrigerator, which made for good concealment. What if someone locks me in? she thought before opening the door. The thought was brushed aside because Chase would need the lock to do so, and she was certain he'd never have the motivation, or wit, to find it.
A few minutes after she had closed the door, laying down to fall asleep, she was visited by Benny, who joined her in there silently with a blanket in hand. “Hi,” she greeted. “You don't want to be alone?”
“I guess,” he said. His voice was surprisingly light-pitched for someone his size. She liked it; it nearly made her chuckle.
“Thanks, again.” She felt rue that she could think of nothing else to talk about.
“Chase doesn't have to be a prick,” said Benny. Wow, he actually responded, Theia thought. Benny's eyes drifted all around their confined room, but avoided her. “He wasn't always a bully.”
“I'm surprised. He acts like he was born that way.”
“I think he just likes being in charge.”
“Ya think?” remarked Theia. She paused. “Sorry, I didn't mean for that to sound like that.”
“It's okay.” Benny actually laughed a little. “Me and Chase went to school together.” 'Chase and I', she corrected in her mind, thinking of what her mother would say. “When everybody started killing each other, he said that I had to stay with him. But he didn't tell me why.”
“Because he wanted a big guy protecting him,” said Theia. “He only thinks about himself and one day it's going to come back to bite him. Did you see how he screamed like a baby when he thought everybody was coming to get him?” Benny didn't seem to understand her reference.
“What happened to you? You were all alone back there?” asked Benny with more sincerity than she thought she'd ever hear from him.
“I was at... home... and, well, I don't really wanna talk about it. Maybe later.”
“Okay. You can tell me later.” He smiled at her, which warmed her heart a little.
Benny spread out his blanket, offering half to Theia even though there wasn't much to share. He didn't say anything else, which disappointed her. She always enjoyed conversation, but despite Benny's good nature, they didn't have that in common. Sharing a sleeping space with someone was odd for her, too. She had only done that with her parents, but only occasionally,
and only when scared. Theia was adaptable, and she knew it was time to adjust to her parents' absence. She couldn't run to them anymore. Maybe she never would again. Going to bed next to a friend might not be so weird? she thought. Goodnight, Dad, she said in her mind to avoid perhaps appearing strange to Benny. That night, she would not say goodnight to her mother.
Theia had begun to dream about being in a park with her father. Only the two of them. He was standing in front of her as she sat on a swing. “Dad, push me!” she whined.
“You gotta swing by yourself, baby,” he told her, laughing.
“But I don't know how!”
“I know. That's the point.” Her father waited a moment, but she didn't move. She wasn't even willing to try yet. Playing was no time to learn anything. But her father finally stepped closer to her. “Reach down with your legs. Touch the ground with your feet.” She accepted that he wasn't going to push her, so she listened to him. “Now push off the ground, baby.” She did as she was told. “Don't let the swing stop!” He was the more excited one. She didn't try to pump her momentum and eventually stopped. “Theia...” began her father as he crouched in front of her. “If you learn how to swing yourself, I'll swing with you every single time we come to the park.”
Theia smiled. “Reeeeeally?” she asked, and her father nodded. “Grown-ups don't swing.”
“Who wrote that law?” They laughed together. “The best things come when you are patient, and when you learn how to achieve them,” he told her.
“What's that word mean?”
“'Achieve?' It's when you-”
Theia was forced awake when she felt someone pulling her up by her hair. She flailed to break free, but then other hands forced her still. She saw Chase and Josh beating on Benny. “NO!” she screamed. They were beating him viciously, relentlessly, until he struggled no more. His cries of pain were quickly silenced. “Nobody tells me what to do anymore,” he told the fading boy. “You won't believe what I found on someone's body. They died in the bathroom from getting shot a thousand times.”
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