by Cindy Kirk
Dr. Gallagher reminded her of the gains she’d made in the last year. She was strong. Being aware of potential pitfalls would make it easier to avoid them.
Though she wasn’t a coward, Cassie was thankful she was scheduled to work tomorrow when Krew invited her and the boys to go snowmobiling with him and Dakota. Earlier in the week, Krew and all her children had put on snowshoes and gone hiking at Peninsula State Park. She’d been working that day, too.
As she wasn’t on the schedule and had already turned down two invitations, Cassie accepted Krew’s request to meet to establish some ground rules for what their lives would look like going forward.
Her hands were steady as she rapped on the heavy wooden door of the home Krew had rented for the next two months on Millionaire’s Row. A gust of wind off the bay cut through the thin fabric of her coat. She knocked again, wrapping her arms tightly around her body as she turned to block the frigid air.
The door swung open, and Krew motioned to her. “Come in. It’s freezing out there.”
Blessed warmth wrapped around Cassie like a towel fresh out of the dryer the instant she stepped over the threshold. The first thing Cassie noticed was that this home was as beautiful on the inside as it was from the road.
Gleaming hardwood floors. A gorgeous staircase with balusters and newel posts in white and the handrail in gleaming walnut.
A fire burned in the hearth. A delicious scent she recognized as applewood filled the air.
Krew held out a hand. “May I take your coat?”
His easy tone belied his watchful eyes.
Cassie shrugged out of the simple tan coat. When she was hurrying to make her early shift at the coffee shop, she’d noticed a button was loose. Now the button was gone, only a few threads marking the spot where it had been.
“You look nice.”
She knew he offered the compliment to fill the awkward silence. The leggings were old, but they fit her slender frame like a glove. The ski sweater was relatively new, a birthday gift from her mother.
Cassie cleared her throat. “Thank you.”
He looked amazing in a brown sweater that made his eyes look like polished amber.
“I made coffee.” He gestured to a tray with mugs and a carafe sitting on a table between the sofa and an oversized chair.
She hesitated for a second, oddly touched by the gesture.
As if misunderstanding her silence, he quickly added, “Unless, after working all day at the Grind, you’re sick of the stuff.”
“Actually, we’re so busy I don’t often get a chance to sit down and enjoy a cup.” She offered a tentative smile. “I’d love some.”
This wasn’t a date, Cassie reminded herself. There was no reason to feel jittery.
She sat on the sofa and took a long drink of coffee, noticing the muscle jumping in Krew’s jaw. She realized with a kind of startled amazement that he was equally uncomfortable.
“I agree with Dakota. It’d be nice if we could be friends.” His gaze searched hers. “But I get the feeling that isn’t what you want.”
Cassie set down her mug. “It isn’t that I don’t want that. It’s just my feelings for you are complicated. I tell myself to move on. Leave the past in the past, but—”
“You can’t.” His voice was flat, and she saw disappointment in the golden depths of his eyes.
“I wouldn’t say I can’t.” Cassie fumbled for words. “Maybe it’s just because I have questions that keep me from moving forward.”
She expelled a frustrated breath. None of this was coming out the way she wanted.
“The questions.” He studied her face. “Are they ones I can answer?”
She nodded.
“Ask, then, whatever you want.”
He’d given her the opening, and she would take it. Cassie twined her hands together in her lap. “After…after we made—” She stopped herself. “After we had sex on the beach, why did you ignore me?”
Even now, remembering how he’d turned his back on her brought an ache to her heart. She’d been young and innocent. He’d been the first guy she’d ever kissed. That had been as far as she’d intended to let him go. But she and her mother had fought that night, and her emotions had been in a tangle. Then his hands and his lips had ignited a fire in her and…
“I regret how I acted that night. More than you’ll ever know.”
Cassie winced, but Krew didn’t appear to notice.
He surged to his feet, moving to the front window, a large expanse of glass that afforded a perfect view of the bay.
Cassie joined him, keeping a couple of feet between them. She stared at water that was as gray as the sky. The night they’d made love, the sky had been clear. The gentlest of breezes had kept the bugs away.
For years, Cassie had considered what she’d say to Krew if she had the chance. He’d taken her virginity, then cast her aside as if she were a piece of trash.
“If you regret it so much, why did you kiss me in the first place, much less have sex with me?”
She braced herself for the words because you were there. Or maybe a variation, like the girl I really wanted wasn’t there that night, so I thought you would do.
Instead, he surprised her.
“All during my senior year, there was something about you.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’d see you in the halls, or in the bleachers, and I couldn’t look away.”
Krew gave a harsh bark of a laugh. “This will probably sound crazy, but I felt this connection between us.”
“I felt it, too,” Cassie admitted, almost to herself.
When his head jerked up, she realized he’d heard.
“That summer after graduation, I was on the verge of starting a new life. I was going to college. Me. The son of the town drunk. Because of my skill on the football field, I’d been given a chance to succeed in life.” He turned and faced her. “I couldn’t let anything—or anyone—get in my way.”
“You could have said that to me.” Cassie cursed the crack in her voice. She took a breath to steady her rioting nerves, and when she spoke again, the tremor was gone. “I’d have understood.”
“I wanted you even more after that night.” Krew spread his hands, palms down, and simply gazed at them. When he looked up, she saw the regret. “I liked you so much. But I was leaving in a few weeks. It seemed smart to keep my distance and ignore your calls and emails. I’m sorry. I realize now that the only one I was thinking of was myself.”
Cassie found surprising comfort in the explanation. She returned to the sofa and poured more coffee into a mug that was nearly full.
His gaze searched her face as he took a seat in a nearby chair. “Are we cool?”
Cassie lifted the mug to her lips and took a sip. “We’re cool. I appreciate you being honest.”
Nodding, Krew dropped into a nearby chair.
“Dakota has enjoyed our outings this week, but she said she wants to experience what it’s like having both a mother and father…together. I’m trying to make that happen.” He flashed a smile. “Your job is making that difficult.”
“I can’t stop working—”
“Hey, just kidding. I understand you have to work.” His expression softened. “I only wish you could have been with us. We had a great time. The boys are smart and fun to be around. I like watching Dakota with them.”
“She’s a wonderful big sister.” Cassie let the heat from the cup warm her hands. “They—we really missed her when she went off to college.”
He drank more coffee, but his gaze remained on her face. “Does the boys’ dad come around much?”
“Not at all. Eugene left when I was pregnant with K.T. I found out later he was married and had another family back East. He pays child support, but wants nothing to do with his sons.” Shame rose inside her as if this man’s shortcomings were her own. Well, in a way they were, Cassie supposed.
She’d fallen for his lies and his promises. Yet, she’d come out of that dark period with two amazing
sons. “Gene was older—in his late thirties at the time—and incredibly intelligent. He was in the area working on a habitat restoration project that dealt with reconstructing some islands in the lower bay. I lived with him for over two years.”
“Did you love him?”
She had to think about that for a minute. “I thought I did at the time, but looking back, I’d say no. I wasn’t even twenty. Gene offered stability, and he was kind to me. He made enough money that I could stay home with Dakota and then with Braxton. Then the project ended, and he left even though I was pregnant with his second son. All he told me was I wasn’t what he wanted. I found out later he was married the whole time.”
She waited for Krew to ask how she couldn’t have known that someone she was living with had had another life. Quite simply, she’d trusted him. “I think his leaving was, for me, the beginning of a self-destructive downward slide that lasted way too long.”
“You had so much potential.” The second the words left his mouth, he started to backpedal. “I’m sorry, I—”
“Don’t apologize. It’s what everyone thinks, but doesn’t say.”
“Dakota mentioned Axl’s dad is Clint Gourley.”
Cassie froze. It took her a moment to find her voice. “What else did she say about Clint?”
“She doesn’t like the guy.”
“Trust me. There isn’t much to like.” Cassie relaxed, just a little. “Hooking up with Clint was the worst mistake I ever made. The former men in my life are just that…former. You won’t have to deal with them. Though being a part of Dakota’s life means you will have to deal with Lindsay and Owen. And my mother.”
“Owen and I are buds. We go way back. And I like Lindsay.” Krew leaned back in the chair. “Your mother, well, she’s a wild card.”
“That’s being kind.” Cassie chuckled. “Mom is better since she started dating Len, but she can still be challenging.”
“Did you ever meet my folks?”
Cassie shook her head.
“Consider yourself lucky. My mom…don’t get me wrong, I love her for everything she did for me and my sister, but the woman had no filter and no desire to have one.” Krew’s laugh rang hollow. “Living with her and my dad taught me a lot about dealing with difficult people. Trust me. Your mother won’t be a problem.”
Cassie cocked her head. “I’m confused. At the costume judging, you made it sound like your mom was your hero.”
Krew blew out a breath. “Being the better parent of two bad parents isn’t saying a lot. I’m sure my mom would say she did her best, but she didn’t protect us. Her best still had me and Tessa suffering.”
“I’m sure people would say the same things about me.”
“The situations are totally different. You may have struggled financially, but you’d never knowingly put your child in the path of abuse.”
A hard knot formed in the pit of her stomach as the image of Clint flashed before her. She struggled to calm her breathing and waved an airy hand. “Enough about family.”
“I’ll drink to that.” Krew lifted his mug of coffee.
“You’ll be in Good Hope through the holidays?”
“I can’t go back on the field until the doctors release me.” A shadow passed over his handsome face. “My injury is a season-ender. It may even be a career-ending one.”
“But you were MVP last year.”
That quick smile that lit up his entire face flashed again. “Following my career?”
“We have television. Not to mention the Gazette has published a few articles about you.” She stiffened, feeling embarrassed despite there being no reason.
“Hey, I’m just teasing.” Without warning, he reached over and gave her hand a squeeze.
The simple touch had desire surging.
For a second, Cassie felt like a hormone-riddled fifteen-year-old again. She concentrated on the conversation, ignoring the intoxicating scent of his cologne. “Are you saying you might not be able to play ever again?”
Doing something you loved for so many years, then not being able to continue had to be difficult. Not that she had any experience in such matters. At thirty-five. she was still looking to launch her first “career.”
“The team’s number one pick last year was a wide receiver, Javin Wilcox. They planned to groom him to eventually replace me. Since moving up to starter, he’s exceeded all their expectations.” Krew’s expression turned distant. “From all reports, Javin has a great rapport with the QB. It’s as if they’ve played together forever.”
“And the team is winning.”
“And the team is winning.” Krew blew out a breath. “I’m guessing they’ll decide to keep him in that position.”
Cassie’s anger spiked. “What about you?”
“My agent can find me another team, if that’s what I want.”
“Is that what you want?”
“I’m thirty-seven. Football is all I know.”
“I bet you’re selling yourself short. They probably can’t wait to have you back.”
“They want me to consider a position as an assistant coach to the wide receivers.”
“Oh.” She cocked her head. “What does an assistant coach do?”
“I’ve heard the job described as handling the nuts and bolts of the daily football operations.” Krew shrugged. “The focus is on developing players. The team I played for has what you could call a complex system. As a wide receiver coach, I’d be responsible for making sure the players understand the intertwined route combinations and option patterns.”
Cassie nodded, but he might as well have been speaking in Greek. Still, she appreciated that he wasn’t dumbing it down for her. Or dismissing her questions.
“You’ve been a successful player,” she reminded him. “It sounds to me as if you’d be a perfect fit for such a job.”
“You think so, do you?”
That grin, well, it made her want to smile or kiss him. Cassie decided a smile was safer. “I do. Have you interviewed for the position? Do you even need to interview?”
“I still need to meet with the front-office people and speak with the head coach.”
“You think it’s a slam dunk.”
He chuckled. “Wrong sport, but yeah, I think it’d be a slam dunk.”
Cassie sensed Krew’s drive to succeed. Lazy people didn’t start where he had and rise to the levels that he’d already reached. Being an “assistant anything” didn’t seem his style, at least not for the long run. “Would you ever want to be a head coach?”
“You’re full of questions.”
Despite the words, he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, if his willingness to answer her questions was any indication, he appreciated her interest.
Of course he does, Cassie thought. She understood what it was like to have people dismiss you. Even though Krew had been wildly successful in his pro career, one devastating injury had changed his trajectory.
Her life-altering hit had come when the pregnancy test turned positive. Even though it had taken her nearly two decades to find her feet again, she was determined to make a good life for herself and her children.
She couldn’t undo the past, and there was one specific thing that she would give anything to change, but because she couldn’t, Cassie had vowed to forgive herself and look forward.
She would be successful moving forward.
So would Krew.
She slanted another glance at him, found him staring and impulsively shot him a wink.
Yep, they were both on the path to success.
Slam dunk.
Chapter Ten
Krew had no doubt that in the next five minutes Cassie would come up with a reason to leave. He didn’t want her to go. Not yet. He enjoyed her company, and each time they were together, it seemed to him that the wall she’d erected around her heart lowered just a little.
Krew hoped in time it would lower enough for her to let him in.
“Have you ever thought about getting married
?”
The question snapped him back to the present. He found Cassie’s curious blue-green eyes focused on him.
“Pardon me?” He had to have misunderstood the question.
“I asked if you’ve ever thought about marriage.” She shrugged. “You and I aren’t young anymore. You’ve likely dated a lot of women. I’m surprised you’ve never settled down.”
In some ways, Krew was surprised, too. His closest friends in the league were married.
There were, of course, plenty of young guys, like Javin, who were more into partying than settling down.
“I never found the right woman.” It might sound cliché, but it was the truth. “My parents, I don’t know why they ever got together, much less stayed together. I never wanted that kind of relationship, so it made me cautious. What about you?”
A look of startled surprise crossed her face. “Me?”
Her voice rose, then cracked.
“You never married.” At least, he didn’t think she’d ever walked down the aisle. “Why?”
“Same reason as you, I suppose. My parents’ marriage was happy, but once my dad died and my mother remarried Bernie… That marriage was a disaster from the start.” Cassie’s fingers picked at the hem of her sweater.
“Yet, you lived with different guys.”
Cassie’s gaze sharpened, but the lack of judgment she must have seen in his eyes had the tight set to her shoulders relaxing.
“Yes,” was all she said.
“Raising four kids alone has to be hard.”
The doorbell rang before she could respond. Cassie pushed at her hair with her fingers. “Are you expecting someone?”
“No.” Krew shrugged. “Probably someone wanting to sell something.”
“I doubt it.”
Actually, Krew doubted it, too. This area was too remote for door-to-door sales.
He opened the door to find David, Hadley and Brynn Chapin smiling at him. Hadley held a plant, and the child had her arms wrapped around a white baker’s box.