by Cindy Kirk
“Dakota.” Krew saying her name in that disappointed manner was the last straw.
“You think you know her. You maybe even like her.” Dakota was aware she spoke too loudly. She was also aware of the sudden hush that fell over the room. But she was too far gone. “I’m betting she hasn’t told you how she nearly served me up on a silver platter to Clint Gourley.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Dakota caught the questioning look Krew shot her mother, who stood unmoving, as stiff as a statue.
Good, Dakota thought. He deserves to know what kind of woman she is.
“When I told her Clint Gourley wanted to have sex with me, she defended him.” The last words came out on a shout, surprising even Dakota. She heard the gasps, but barreled ahead, her gaze focused on her mother. “You didn’t even try to protect me. I had to protect myself.”
Cassie’s face blanched white.
“Dakota.” Lindsay’s calm voice filled the sudden silence. “This is not the time or the place for this.”
“Come to our house.” Owen added a persuasive smile. “We can all talk there.”
Dakota ignored them both.
Anita tried to put a hand on Dakota’s shoulder, but Dakota shrugged her off. She brought a clenched fist to her chest and continued to glare at her mother. “You took his side against your own daughter.”
Anita again tried to intervene, but Cassie shook her head and motioned for her mother to step back. She moved toward Dakota and met her steely look.
“You’re right. I made a horrible mistake, and you have no idea how much I regret it. However angry you are at me will never compare to how angry I am at myself.”
Tears filled Dakota’s eyes. She pressed her lips together to still the trembling. Her mother’s response surprised her. It had never occurred to her that her mother gave what happened with Clint any thought at all.
“It’s no secret I screwed up many, many times. I’ll never forgive myself for some of my choices. I will never forgive myself for what I nearly let happen to you. Never. But some of those choices…” Her mother’s gaze slipped to Krew. “Well, I can’t regret all of them, because they resulted in something great, like you and your brothers.”
When Cassie touched her arm, Dakota jerked away.
Though her mother’s face held lines of strain, she kept her composure and her voice remained even. “You have every right to your anger, Dakota. Every right. I was dead wrong, and I’m so sorry I put you through that. I’m so sorry I didn’t protect you the way a good mother should. I thank God every day your grandmother and aunt were there for you when I wasn’t. And I don’t expect you to forgive me. I mean, how could you ever forgive me? But know this—I will never again stand by and let someone hurt you or threaten to hurt you. I will protect you with my life, because I love you, Dakota. I love you more than you will ever know.”
Dakota glanced around the room and saw the concerned faces of her grandmother and Len, of Lindsay and Owen and everyone else still at the party. What was she doing? Why had she brought this up now? Her head ached, and nothing made sense except the pain. That was real, and memories of those horrible months pummeled her.
Dakota wrapped her arms around herself, and tears slipped down her cheeks. She shivered, cold to the marrow. She couldn’t remember ever feeling so alone.
Then her mother’s comforting arms were around her, like they’d been all those times when she’d skinned her knee or a friend had hurt her feelings.
A second later, Krew’s arms were around both of them, and Dakota found herself wrapped in the warmth of their love.
She felt her father’s lips brush her hair. “Let’s go home.”
Krew didn’t say a word on the drive to his house.
“Can I get you something?” Cassie asked Dakota once they were inside. “Maybe a glass of warm milk? Or I could draw you a hot bath?”
Dakota shook her head and avoided Cassie’s concerned gaze. “I just want to sleep.”
Dakota didn’t look at either of them as she climbed the steps to the bedrooms.
Cassie dropped down on the sofa and stared into the dark hearth.
Krew started a fire, more to steady himself than for the warmth. Instead of sitting beside Cassie, he chose a nearby chair. “I need to know what happened with Clint.”
It took everything in Krew to keep his voice calm, to not give in to the anger rising inside him…and the guilt. He should have been there to protect Dakota. She was his child, and he hadn’t been there for her.
“Dakota never liked Clint.” Cassie expelled a shaky breath and swiped a hand across her eyes. “He had a job when he moved in, but then he wrecked his motorcycle and claimed his back hurt and he couldn’t work. He got even more mean then, if that was possible.”
That sounded like the Clint he remembered. The one who’d faked nose bleeds to get out of gym class and who’d beaten a possum to death with a baseball bat.
“Clint was fascinated with Dakota.” Despite the roaring fire, Cassie wrapped her arms round herself as if she was freezing. “He was always giving her compliments, telling her how sexy she looked.”
A muscle in Krew’s jaw jumped. “How old was she then?”
“Sixteen. No, she’d just turned seventeen.” Cassie blinked rapidly, and he watched her fight for control. “She came to me, told me that the way he looked at her made her uncomfortable. She said she’d overheard him telling a friend that as soon as he got the chance, he was going to—”
Cassie repeated the words in a voice barely above a whisper.
Krew cursed. “I hope you threw his ass out.”
“I didn’t. I stood up for Clint. I told Dakota to quit flirting. I warned her not to screw it up for me with her lies.”
Krew stared, incredulous. No wonder Dakota was bitter and angry. Her mother, the person who was supposed to protect her, had all but tossed her to the wolf.
“Dakota went to her school counselor, who called me. When the woman called me, I told her Dakota was jealous of the new baby and making things up. That put Dakota in a horrible position. And Clint knew at that point he could do whatever he wanted to her, and no one would believe her. I wouldn’t believe her.”
“What happened?” Krew ground out the words between clenched teeth.
“Dakota was—is—a strong girl. She took charge. With Beckett Cross’s help, she maneuvered it so she could live with Lindsay that last year in high school. Eventually, I kicked Clint out, and he was arrested later for multiple burglaries.”
Krew clenched his jaw so tightly it ached. “If I’d been there, I’d have protected Dakota.”
Something in the simple statement must have hit a nerve. Cassie’s head jerked up, and sparks shot from her eyes. “Well, you weren’t here, were you? It’s easy to say that you’d have been perfect when you come in after the fact and play Dad for a couple weeks. You order a few pizzas, throw your money around, and suddenly you know everything about parenting. Well, I didn’t know anything about parenting. I was alone and screwed up and scared and desperate and, yes, a bad mother. But I plan to make that up to Dakota and my boys every day for the rest of our lives, not just until the end of the year.”
Krew recognized the truth in her rant. Her words cut him off at the knees as surely as if she’d chop-tackled him.
Cassie gave a little laugh that ended in a hiccup. “I was afraid for you to find this out because I know how much your mother’s actions hurt you. Now that it’s out in the open, I don’t have the emotional energy to worry about what you think. All I can care about is Dakota and helping her deal with what happened and my betrayal. So if you want to judge me, go ahead. It doesn’t really matter, since you’ll be doing it from a distance, anyway.”
Again, all true. Krew scrubbed his face with his hands and wondered how his perfect life could have gotten so messed up.
Krew was in the kitchen making breakfast when he caught sight of Dakota in the doorway. She was wearing the same clothes she’d had on last night. Her
hair was a tangled mass around her shoulders.
She offered a wan smile when their eyes met.
“Breakfast is almost ready.” He gestured toward the table where he’d set out the cups, plates, and silverware.
“I’m not hungry.” After picking up a mug from the table, she wandered over to the coffee maker and poured herself a cup. “Where’s Mom?”
“She took a cab home.”
Dakota frowned. “Why didn’t you take her?”
“I didn’t want to leave you here alone.”
Ignoring the table, she dropped down on a stool at the bar. “I’m not a kid. Leaving me here would have been okay.”
“I didn’t want you to wake up and find yourself alone.”
Dakota gave a jerky nod and gulped coffee.
“Your mom told me all about Clint. We fought about it.” Krew turned off the burner and set the skillet aside. He sat on the stool next to her. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you, Dakota. I’m angry that your mother wasn’t there for you.”
Dakota lifted one shoulder, let it drop and took another long drink of coffee.
“I want you to make your home with me in Green Bay.”
Confusion furrowed her brow. “I’m going to school in La Crosse.”
“I mean for holidays and breaks and in the summer,” he said. “You can put Good Hope, your mom, and Clint behind you.”
“Who are you to judge my mom?”
Krew blinked, startled by the vehemence in her tone.
“I have my reasons for being angry at her, but what right do you have? You abandoned her. You got a fifteen-year-old girl pregnant and then left her. How would you feel if some guy did that to me? I never really thought about it before, but if some guy did that to me, I don’t think I’d ever be able to look at him again. Yet my mom has spent all this time with you because I asked her to.”
“Dakota, please—” He touched her arm, but she shook him off.
“I thought she was choosing you, but she was just doing what I asked. And now you want me to abandon her like you did? Leave my brothers, my whole family to run off with you? I’m not going to repeat either of my parents’ mistakes. I’m not going to blindly follow a man I just met, and I’m not going to turn my back on people I care about. I’m also not going to hold on to all this toxic anger and judgment. My mom has made mistakes, and she’s struggling with the consequences, which I didn’t realize before. But I do know that she’s been really trying to do better. And no matter what I said to her last night, I love her and I know she loves me.”
Krew stared at his daughter. He’d thought he was being supportive of her, but it appeared he was wrong. Maybe he wasn’t cut out to be a father.
Maybe they’d all be better off if he left and just sent money.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Cassie told herself to wait until the afternoon to try to contact Dakota, to give the emotions from the evening before time to settle. But she couldn’t wait. She feared she’d already waited too long.
She called and discovered her daughter was still at Krew’s house. When she asked if she could come over so they could talk, Dakota agreed.
Cassie reminded herself that she had no control over Dakota’s reaction, or Krew’s. All she could do was speak from the heart.
Krew opened the door and stepped aside to let her enter. “Cassie.”
“Hello, Krew. Thanks for letting me come over.”
His gaze remained impassive, providing no clue as to his feelings. She told herself to be glad he wasn’t openly hostile.
“Mom.” Dakota stepped into the room. “I thought I heard the bell.”
Her daughter looked the same as she had at the party, except she’d washed her face and her eyes were still red-rimmed.
“I was hoping we could talk.” It was a stupid thing to say. Wasn’t that what they were doing now?
Dakota gestured toward the sofa.
Cassie glanced at Krew, who watched, arms crossed, from several feet away.
“Do you mind if Dad stays?” Dakota asked.
“Whatever you want.”
“Stay,” Dakota said to her father. “Please.”
He nodded and took a seat in the chair, while Dakota sat on the sofa.
Cassie opened her mouth, but Dakota spoke first.
“I’m sorry about bringing up all that stuff at the party last night.” Dakota’s gaze met hers. “You’ve been doing so much better lately, and the last thing I want is to derail—”
“Don’t worry about me.” On impulse, Cassie took her daughter’s hands. Tears stung her eyes when Dakota didn’t pull away. “I let you down, Dakota. You deserve a better mother than the one you got. But I love you, and I want to be a part of your life. If that’s too hard for you, I’ll understand.”
“I love you, Mom.” Tears now filled Dakota’s eyes. “So, you’re not perfect. Well, neither am I. I think it’s time we move on from the past.”
“I am sorry, Dakota.”
“I know.” Dakota squeezed her hands. “The thing with Clint, it’s behind us now. I forgive you, and I hope you’ll forgive me for bringing it up last night in front of everyone.”
“There’s nothing to forgive.” Cassie expelled a breath. “I’m just sorry I didn’t have the strength to talk to you about it before. I was terrified of losing you.”
Then her daughter was in her arms, and Cassie’s arms tightened around her girl. They’d found their way back to each other, and this time nothing would tear them apart.
Watching the two women cling to each other and cry, Krew wished he was anywhere else.
His feelings for Cassie had been so clear before last night. He’d been falling in love with her, dreaming of a future with her. Now he wondered if he ever really knew her.
Had he simply gotten caught up in the idea of being part of a family?
Krew was suddenly glad he would be leaving Good Hope at the end of the month. Moving into the coaching ranks would demand his total concentration. The way things stood now, he wouldn’t have anything other than football on his mind.
At the sound of the two women standing, he pulled to his feet.
Cassie’s eyes met his. “I told Dakota I’d drop her off at Jeremy and Fin’s so she can pick up her car.”
“I left my purse upstairs. Be right back.” Dakota tossed the words over her shoulder as she rushed up the stairs.
An awkward silence descended like a shroud over the beautiful space.
If Krew didn’t know what to think, he certainly didn’t know what to say.
Cassie left a wide berth between them. Her lips trembled, but the gaze that met his was steady.
She waited.
He waited.
For what, Krew wasn’t sure.
They both turned at the sound of Dakota’s feet on the steps.
“I’m sure you’ll be busy until it’s time for you to return to Green Bay,” Cassie said to Krew. The smile she offered was in sharp contrast to the bleak look in her eyes. “Good luck with the coaching.”
“Thanks. Good luck with your real estate career.”
“It’ll be tough, but I’ll persevere.”
Tough, Krew thought, was an understatement. With her sordid past being brought to the forefront again, it was likely that her new career had tanked before it’d had a chance to begin.
Cassie knew that, too. He could see it in her eyes. Still, she was keeping up a brave front.
Krew was seized with the sudden urge to pull her into his arms and tell her this revelation about Clint changed nothing between them. Tell her he loved her and wanted to be with her. Tell her that she and the boys could move to Green Bay with him, and they’d start a new life together.
Instead, he walked her and Dakota to the door.
“Wow.” Cassie shivered as a gust of wind hit them. “The wind has really picked up.”
“Drive carefully,” he told them. “It looks like the snow is starting up again.”
He couldn’t
believe his relationship with Cassie had been reduced to discussing the weather.
“Thank you.” Dakota wrapped her arms around him in a fierce hug.
“For what?” he asked.
“For being there for me last night.” Then her gaze shifted to her mother. “I’m ready to go.”
The week before Christmas, Krew accepted an invitation to meet Owen at the Flying Crane. He was still trying to figure out what he was going to do about Christmas Eve. The fact that he’d promised Dakota a family Christmas weighed heavily on him.
Krew knew he and Cassie needed to talk, at least one more time, before he left town. He wasn’t sure what to say to her.
Dakota had forgiven her mother.
Forgiveness didn’t come easily to Krew. Not surprising, since he still hadn’t forgiven his parents. Not that they would ever ask for his forgiveness. In their minds, providing a roof meant they had done their part.
As soon as Krew entered the waterfront bar, he spotted Owen seated at a table near the far wall. He must have been watching the door, because he raised a hand when Krew walked in.
Out of the corner of his eye, Krew saw Mitch at one of the barstools, talking with what looked like a fellow city parks worker. Mitch didn’t look in Krew’s direction, for which he was grateful. The man’s actions toward Cassie had left a permanently sour taste in Krew’s mouth.
“Hey, man,” Owen greeted him with a big smile. “I’m glad you could make it.”
“Thanks for asking.” Krew sat across from Owen and signaled for a beer. “Dakota has been so busy working that I’ve been at loose ends.”
If not for the promise he’d made to his daughter, Krew would already be back in Green Bay.
“I ran into Braxton.” Owen paused while the server dropped off Krew’s beer. “He told me about the work you and the boys have been doing on Cassie’s place.”
“It was something I promised.” Krew lifted the pilsner glass and drank. “The place looks a little better.”
“I drove by. It looks amazing.” Owen shoved the bar mix in Krew’s direction. “I should have fixed that shutter and torn screen a long time ago. I should have helped Cassie more.”