The Ghost in My Brain

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by Clark Elliott


  communication

  difficulties with, 34, 81–82, 155, 166–70, 198, 283

  improvement in, 223

  See also speech

  computers, 10–11, 13, 36, 52, 73–75, 80, 110–12, 126, 194

  concussion

  diagnosing of, xx, 34, 40, 43, 69, 105, 193, 231

  explanation of, 10, 34

  serious/life-changing nature of, xx

  simulation of, 13

  typical symptoms of, 43, 46–47, 57, 64, 69, 85, 193, 295

  concussives

  and feeling nonhuman, xxi–xxiii, 61, 71–72, 109, 195, 219, 278

  need rest, 58

  shared experiences of, xxi–xxii, 46, 48, 72, 117, 124, 178, 219

  support system for, 51–54

  Conroy, John, 178

  creativity, 36–37, 169, 178, 291, 293

  daemons (thought processes), 73–83, 118, 133–37, 141–42, 146–47, 149, 168

  decision making, 28, 57–58, 63–70, 72, 159–60, 295

  DePaul University, xxiii, 3, 6, 19, 22, 31, 37, 48, 51–52, 88, 108, 231, 295. See also teaching

  Descartes, René, xxiii, 111

  directional sense, 6, 17, 22, 25, 100–2, 139, 166, 279, 295

  DNA, 12

  Doidge, Norman, 201

  Dolly Zoom Effect, 5, 15

  dreams, 101–4, 163, 265, 273, 279–80

  ears, xvii, 196, 198–99, 217–19, 224, 262, 284, 296–97. See also audio; hearing; noise, sensitivity to

  Elliott, Erin (daughter), 53, 60–61, 143–45, 155, 196–200, 206, 209–11, 275, 278–79

  Elliott, Lucy (daughter), 53–54, 142–43, 275, 279

  Elliott, Nell (daughter), 53–54, 142–43, 153–55, 197, 279

  Elliott, Paul (son), 54, 142, 145, 196, 199, 275, 279

  Elliott, Peter (son), 54, 142–43, 279

  Elliott, Qianwei (wife), 53, 144, 151–55, 196, 200, 273, 275, 279

  Elliott, Will (brother), 125–26

  emotion, 184, 224, 245, 261, 267

  emotional difficulties, xx, 60, 72, 83, 94, 178, 180

  error correction, 79, 81, 165, 167, 176, 183

  eyeglasses, xxiv, 241, 248

  challenges of, 264–76

  and cognitive improvement, xv, xvii–xviii, 267, 269–71, 275–76, 281

  and colored lenses, 208, 259

  and improved hearing, 216–22, 264

  Phase I, 215, 263–72, 278, 281

  Phase II, 226, 270–78, 281, 284–85, 291

  Phase III, 276–78, 280–86, 291

  Phase IV, 286–92

  Phase V, 292, 294

  Phase VI, 292–94

  and prisms, 215, 250–52, 259–62, 269–70, 276–77, 282, 294

  and regression, 277–80, 282

  eyes, 102–3, 117–18, 149, 182, 207, 224

  aiming system of, 237, 255–56, 269–70

  and axons, 243, 245–47, 260

  and balance, 85–87

  and the brain, xvi, 213, 245–47, 255, 259–60, 262

  focusing of, 38, 91, 139, 158, 237, 255–56, 260, 263, 269–72, 277, 284–86, 290–92

  and light, 159, 243, 245–47

  and music, 217–19, 221–22

  movement of, 139, 158, 245, 253, 260, 269, 278

  and non-image-forming retinal signals, xvi, 242–45, 248, 250, 258, 288

  optic nerves of, 243, 245–46

  and recovery exercises, 229, 237

  and retinal processing, 213, 217, 242–48, 250, 255, 258, 260–63, 280, 288

  See also eyeglasses; vision; visual

  fatigue, xx, 8, 25–27, 41, 104, 147, 190

  from conversation, 81, 167–69, 198–99

  and eyeglasses, 264, 268, 278

  from eyesight difficulties, 253, 255

  improvement in, 241, 281, 287

  normal, 268, 271

  from reading, 36

  and recovery work, 215, 241, 275–76

  from small tasks, 279–80

  of visual systems, 92, 94, 172, 184

  filters

  cognitive, 144, 172, 237

  exercises for, 237

  and the eyes, 245–46, 258, 261

  importance of, 76

  loss of, 6, 37, 46, 76, 78, 99, 129, 144, 147, 158, 165, 172, 176–77, 185, 193, 199, 206, 297

  and spoken dialogue, 129, 165, 176–77, 198–200

  of visual data, 37, 96, 99, 147

  See also sensory: filters

  Folstein Mini-Mental State Examination, 44

  Gallwey, Timothy, 189–90

  geometric line drawings/shapes, xi, 185–86, 206–7, 229, 231–39

  geometry, 128, 133, 139, 146, 183–85

  of cognition, 231–39

  difficulty with, 5, 9, 23, 40–41, 77, 90, 95, 155

  and time, 120–22

  triggers symptoms, 157, 186–87, 207–8

  God, 107–9, 111–12, 195, 224

  guilt, 78–83, 162

  handicap parking, 100

  handwriting/writing, 36–38, 279, 283–84

  hearing, xvii, 84, 109

  difficulties with, 278–79, 283, 292

  improvement in, 217–22, 224,

  264, 271

  and pain, 159, 177, 296–97

  and phonosensitivity, 29–30

  and visual/spatial systems, 164, 244, 258

  See also audio; aural processing; ears; sound

  Heather (professional organizer), 200–1, 225

  hemispatial neglect, xxii, 137, 144

  high-functioning people, xii, 75, 127, 178, 228, 236, 240–41

  homeodynamics, 244, 261

  hospital, 21, 28, 33–35, 39–42, 54, 70, 192

  house rebuilding project, 26, 37, 53, 95–100, 157, 200

  human mind, xxii–xxiii, 10, 12–14, 21, 31, 83, 103, 110–11

  humor, 156, 159–62, 169–70, 265, 293

  ideaesthesia, 144, 148

  Inner Game of Tenns, The (Gallwey), 189–90

  itching, 188–89

  Jake (friend), 54, 63, 66, 79–82, 101, 146–55, 159–62, 178

  Kowar, Dr. Lisa, 287–90

  Lakoff, George, 114–15

  left and right sides

  concept of, 6, 16, 24, 137–38, 140–41, 184, 249, 252, 268, 271

  and eyeglasses, 264, 267, 269–71, 277, 283, 289–93

  and the eyes, 256–58, 269

  letting go, 140, 142, 194–96, 200, 274

  life after death, 109–11

  light

  bent left versus right, 251–52, 262, 277

  and the brain, 245–47

  and eyeglasses, 213, 250–52, 259, 261–63, 269–70, 276–77

  and retinal processing, 213, 243, 245–46, 258, 262–63, 280

  sensitivity to, 31, 159

  line-drawing exercises, xi, 206–8, 228–39, 241

  lines, making sense of, 185–88, 263

  linguistics, 142–44, 152, 154–55, 167. See also communication; speech

  logic, 67–68, 82, 121–22, 130, 144, 184, 190, 271, 294

  Markus, Dr. Donalee, 126, 297

  background/description of, 201, 205–6, 208–9

  cognitive puzzles of, xii–xiii, xxiv, 130, 205–6, 225–26, 241

  diagnostic tests of, xi, 206–9

  exercises of, xii, 228–41, 270, 275, 278

  first meeting with, 205–9

  recovery plan of, xi–xiii, 209–12, 215–16, 227–31, 241, 262–63, 294

  and Dr. Zelinsky, xv, 212, 215, 267, 282

  Martha (Zelinsky’s assistant), 214–15, 249–50, 252–54, 257, 286–87

  medical community, xi, xvii, xx, xxiii
–xxiv, 192–94, 209–10, 248

  meditation, 7, 88, 106–7, 157, 295

  memory, 111, 119, 151–55, 164, 169, 244

  capacity/size of, 11–12

  improvement in, 222, 224, 266–67

  loss of, xii, 13, 70, 99–100, 113–14, 266, 274, 276

  and planning, 121–22

  and problem solving, 131, 142

  and wearing glasses, 218, 266–67, 271, 274, 276

  “working,” 131, 142, 218, 222

  metacognitive voice, 126–29

  metadialogue, 229

  metaphor, 67, 114–17

  mild traumatic brain injury (MTBI), xii, 10

  Miller, Dr., 123

  Mind-Eye Connection, The, 213–14, 286, 294. See also Zelinsky, Dr. Deborah

  motion sickness, 31, 86–87, 102. See also nausea

  motor function

  and brain seizures, 188, 215

  and cognitive processing, xvi

  and cognitive stress, 45–47

  and eyeglasses, xvii, 265, 267–68, 271, 279

  and the eyes, 243–44, 250, 252, 261

  improvement in, 223

  loss of, xi, xxii, 14–17, 23–24, 26, 31, 33, 39–40, 49, 61–64, 66–69, 91, 99, 152, 177–78, 193, 195, 207–9

  and recovery exercises, 229, 233, 238–39

  slowing of, 6–9, 24, 45–46, 66, 98, 125–26, 175–76, 296

  and spatial sense, 61–62

  and taking tests, xi, 45–47, 207–9

  See also balance

  multitasking

  causes fatigue, 167

  difficulty with, xxi, 31, 38, 57, 78, 120, 158–59, 164–65, 198–99, 262

  improvement in, 295

  muscles, 26, 28, 62, 136, 284

  extraocular, 85, 253

  and fatigue, 187

  knotted up, 158, 207, 267–68

  motor control of, 238, 257

  pain in, 40, 156–58

  peacefulness in, 274

  spasms in, 271

  music, 106–7, 128, 138, 151, 195, 199, 209, 217–22, 224, 259, 266–67, 272, 281, 284

  nausea, 18, 27, 31, 33, 39–40, 45, 87, 92–93, 98, 104, 116, 119, 140, 156–58, 165, 177, 223, 264, 295. See also motion sickness

  Nelms, James, 12

  neural

  pathways, 182, 261

  programming, 8, 109–10, 180

  signals, 132, 243

  structure, 73

  neuro-optometric rehabilitation, xvi–xvii, xxi, 212–15, 226, 294. See also eyeglasses; Markus, Dr. Donalee; Zelinsky, Dr. Deborah

  neurodevelopmental rehabilitation, 226, 242, 248–94

  neurological oddities, 7, 88, 91, 185–89, 250

  neurologists, xx, 43–47, 54, 61, 102, 192–94, 216

  neurons, 110–11, 164

  neuroscience, xi, xvii, xxiv, 129, 205, 212–14, 227, 246

  noise, sensitivity to, 29–30, 42, 78, 149, 159, 172–75, 259, 283, 296

  Nolan, Christopher, 114, 119

  numbers, 134–38, 141–43, 158–59, 253

  obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), 68–69

  olfactory information, 146–47, 149, 159. See also smell

  optometrists, xvi–xvii, 226, 242, 248, 258, 260. See also neuro-optometric rehabilitation; Zelinsky, Dr. Deborah

  ordering, 265

  of colors, 137–38

  of events/time, 116–18, 121–22

  of numbers, 134–38, 141–43

  Padula, William V., 250

  pain, 33, 35–36

  caused by sound, 41, 99, 149, 159, 172–76, 296–97

  caused by thinking, 8, 40, 98, 140, 156–59, 165, 193, 247–48

  coping with, 55, 157, 177

  in head, 28–30, 40–41, 98, 140, 156–59, 189, 257, 279

  improvement in, 295

  in neck, 28, 40, 156–57, 257

  from sensory overload, 148–49

  parenting, 6, 37, 52–54, 58–61, 105, 112, 117, 130, 143, 145, 196–200, 224, 275, 282

  pattern matching, 58, 60, 64, 69, 72, 78, 87, 119, 124, 174

  phonemes, 81, 163, 165, 167

  phonosensitivity, 29–30, 172

  phoropter, 214, 254–55, 259, 262, 287–88, 293

  planning, difficulty with, 4, 15–16, 23, 28, 43, 62, 66, 69, 72, 90, 95, 114–15, 117–18, 120–24, 178, 260, 262

  post-concussion syndrome (PCS), xii, 10, 69, 194

  problem solving, xii, 6, 37, 48, 53, 74, 77–78, 93, 101–3, 130–31, 140, 142, 185, 230, 241, 255, 260, 292–93, 295

  proprioception, 85–86, 244

  proprioceptive

  information, 146–47

  sense, 185

  signals, 257

  system, 85–86

  puzzles, xii–xiii, 24, 130, 205–6, 225–27, 229–30, 236, 241

  reading, 31, 34, 36, 40, 49, 272–73, 279

  reasoning, 82, 122, 132, 136, 169, 185, 222, 238, 241, 255, 293. See also problem solving

  recovery, xii–xiii, xv–xvii, 180, 187, 190, 242, 277

  beginning stages of, 215–20, 264–76

  and calm feeling, 271, 273–76, 281, 283–84, 286, 288, 291, 293

  challenges of, xviii, 281–82

  completion of, 294

  exercises for, 228–41

  and eyeglasses, 225–26, 281

  feeling human again, 109, 219, 222–24, 267, 294

  and the “Ghost,” 55, 109, 222–24, 263–64, 266–67, 297

  hope for, 178, 201, 209, 211

  and improved brain functions, 222–24, 275–76, 285

  and improved hearing, 216–22, 224, 264

  life after, 108, 159, 180, 293

  no hope for, xiii, 48, 139, 192–95, 209, 248

  and reconfiguring brain, 262–63

  regression during, 277–80, 282

  See also eyeglasses; Markus, Dr. Donalee; Zelinsky, Dr. Deborah

  rehabilitation, xx

  centers, 54, 126, 193, 216

  neuro-optometric, 212–13, 226

  neurodevelopmental, 226, 242

  research

  on “brain eyeglasses,” xvii, 225–26

  on brain plasticity, xx, 200–1, 294

  on concussion, 194

  on traumatic brain injury, 200–1

  right side. See left and right sides

  Roberts, Declan, 12

  rules, following of, 140, 160–62, 239–41, 275

  running, 184, 189–91, 252

  Ryle, Gilbert, xxiii, 111

  scheduling, difficulty with, 117, 122, 124

  Seau, Junior, 124

  self, loss of, xxii, 70, 90

  self-reflection, 126

  sensory

  activities, 61

  breakdowns, 57, 76, 78, 109

  changes, 263

  filters, 6, 46, 76, 78, 99, 144, 147, 158, 165, 172, 176–77, 181–83, 185, 193, 199, 206, 243

  input, xii, 45–46, 55, 87, 90, 106, 144, 158–59, 165, 176–77, 198–99, 250, 297

  integration, 262

  overload, 64, 90, 99, 147–49, 156, 158–59, 183, 250

  processing, xvi

  systems, 244

  serotonin re-uptake inhibitor (SSRI), 194

  sexuality, 273

  shopping, 57–59, 65, 95–100, 174–76, 250, 263

  sleep

  disturbances, xxi, 17–18, 26, 31, 39, 52, 102–6, 278–79

  improvement in, 273

  paralysis, 104–5

  and retinal signals, 243

  smell, 29, 90, 129, 149. See also olfactory information

  social challenges, xx, 31, 61–62, 79, 149, 165, 167–69, 174–80, 186, 189, 196, 276, 283<
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  sound, 109, 132, 142–43, 183, 259, 278

  causes pain, 41, 149, 159, 172–76

  having an ear for, 217–19

  and music, 106–7, 217–22, 272, 284

  and synesthesia, 137–38

  unfiltered, 99, 129

  visualizing of, 218, 284

  and wearing glasses, 217–22, 261

  and words, 38, 76–77, 79, 163–65, 198–99

  spatial, 166, 241

  cognition, 248

  hearing, 158

  images, 62, 67, 87

  orientation, 251–52

  relationships, 117–18

  sense, 61–63, 93, 98–99, 139, 291

  See also visual/spatial

  speech

  of children, 198–99

  difficulties with, 20, 33–34, 38, 45, 79–82, 87, 99, 142–43, 166–70, 198–99, 208

  improvement in, 223

  real-time processing of, 163–66, 199, 223

  See also audio: slowness; communication; linguistics

  spiritual faith, 107–9, 111–12, 195, 224, 295

  sports injuries, xix–xx, 55, 192, 253

  Starkey, David, 12

  suicide, 70–72

  Super, Dr. Selwyn, 254

  symbolic

  cognitive functioning, 141, 236

  images, 164

  internal vision, 221–22

  meaning, 185, 198–99

  processing, 197, 266–67

  reasoning, 241

  representation, 138–39, 184

  resources, 119

  visual field, 290

  visualizations, 238

  “working space,” 290

  symbols, 117, 137–39, 143, 185, 271

  and audio stream, 168–70

  from childhood memories, 266–67

  construction of, 93–94

  and directional sense, 101

  internal world of, 255

  manipulation of, 128, 157, 248

  mental, 144, 238, 292

  visual, 147–48, 184, 241

  See also thought: symbols of

  symptoms

  freedom from, 295

  giving in to, 195–96, 200

  hiding of, 37, 61, 99, 152–54, 171, 271

  management of, 16, 49, 52–55, 57, 59, 61–63, 102, 117, 123–24, 130–31, 139–40, 160, 177, 193, 195–96

  over-vigilance, 60, 168, 178, 223, 274, 276, 279

  people’s reactions to, 171–80

  permanent, 34, 54–55, 61, 189, 193

  persistence of, 10, 267

  personality oddities, xxi

  undiagnosed, xiii, xx

  See also specific types

  synesthesia, 137–38, 144, 148

  teaching, 21–22, 31, 37, 47, 51–52, 63, 86, 130, 184, 194, 197, 200, 210, 217, 223–24, 238, 282, 295–96. See also DePaul University

 

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