H clutches onto me with renewed fervor. “The things you’ve done? What’s that mean?”
Out it comes. “Haven’t you noticed that I fuck your best friend at the same time I’m fucking you?” Help me, I almost scream. Help me stop myself from saying too much. Help me from hurting you. I hurt so much because you won’t tell me you love me, and I’m going to hurt you if you don’t stop me. But horrible things keep coming out of my mouth. “I’m no virgin, you know. I’m no angel. I have an idiotic, hilarious in an absurd way, desperate, fucking crazy past with men. If I lived a couple hundred years ago, they’d have burned me at the stake for the things I’ve done. But you know that already since I’m fucking the both of you at the same time.”
Even though I hadn’t raised my voice, the room is painfully quiet. There’s a ringing silence bouncing from H to me to Jay.
Jay sighs, running a hand down my back. “God, my mom would love listening to us.”
“I’m that fucked up?” My voice is warped from trying not to cry. “I need a psychoanalyst, huh?”
Jay squeezes my ass, surprising me. “Honey, what you and H don’t seem to understand is the whole world is fucked up. Everyone is fucked up in their own way. Both you and H have this weird idea that you have to be perfect in order to be accepted, not realizing that being perfectly fucked up is perfectly acceptable.”
H tilts his head forward. “Nice. You got that nugget of wisdom from a cross-stitch pillow?”
Jay smiles with one side of his face. “Nah, but I’ll make you embroider it on a quilt, smart ass.” Then he enfolds me from behind, embracing me, and I’m sandwiched between the two men I love with all my heart.
H swallows, and it’s audible, making me look at him. He takes a shaky breath. “You know why I’m with you? And I’m pretty sure Jay would agree with me on this, is because—well, this is one of the reasons why I’m with you. It’s because you’re honest. You’re so fucking honest. And that honesty makes you…there’s nothing evil within you. Once you’ve seen the shit I have—we have—then you see evil. In almost everything. And everyone. And it drives you crazy. You go back home and nothing’s the same anymore because you can see…that everyone lies. Except you, Dee. You’re this beautiful, untouched snowflake that somehow doesn’t melt no matter what you’ve gone through. You don’t change when I’m near you, when I touch you.” His eyes rim red and moisture makes his eyes sparkle more than usual. With his voice cracking, he says, “You remain this honest, pure snowflake.”
My heart flies out of my chest and circles around H and Jay. I feel light and sparkling and that feels so good. Almost righteous.
Jay takes a breath and I can feel him nodding against the top of my head. “With that kind of speech you gotta show her, H. It’s time.”
H shakes his head and looks down. “But we had it all planned.”
“Planned what?” I ask.
H knits his brows together while he’s gazing at me. “Woman, you seriously piss me off. I had this whole thing planned out, where Jay and I would take you out, Baby would eat a ton of whatever he wants that won’t make you throw up, we’d get you nice and relaxed and take you back home—” he reaches behind, pulling something out of his back pocket, “—and give you this.”
It’s a black velvet box with gold rimming the opening. The kind of box that has jewelry. My heart stops.
H opens it slowly while saying, “We know you don’t like diamonds, but the fact that you don’t like much other jewelry means it was really hard for us to figure out what to get you.” Then the lid opens all the way, revealing a thin silver bracelet with one clear glass ornament and four gems. H points to the glass. “This is a snowflake. A snowflake from Yellowstone. To remind you of where we met and fell in love with you. And, fuck yes, we’re in love with you.”
“You are? It is?” I choke.
H smiles. “Yeah, Dee, I—you’re the one I want because, to me, you’re perfect. I know you don’t see yourself that way, but I’ll die trying to get you to see it. I’ll do everything in my power for you to know that I don’t care about your past.”
“You don’t?”
H shrugs. “I think we feel the same about each other. I wish you would give up those ghosts from your past because I don’t care what you did. I really don’t fucking care. I mean, I do. Especially when those ghosts seem to hurt you. But I wish you’d give them up. I’m repeating myself.”
I shake my head. “Maybe I need you to repeat it. Often.” I smile. “And that is how I feel about you, the both of you. If you want to share with me what happened while you were in the navy, I’d be honored. But if you don’t, that’s okay too. Because I think the both of you are perfect. So fuckity perfect. And I’ll do everything in my power to make you see that.”
Jay chuckles. “There’s our girl, swearing.” He takes a breath, sobering. “The past…it’s what made you you, and whatever happened, I’m glad it did. I’m sorry that you might have…suffered. I’m sorry about that. I wish you had never been hurt. But without it, I might never have met you. Without my past and yours, I might never have fallen in love with the most precious woman alive. So I’m glad for it. I’d live through all that shit again for you.”
I blink tears away and hug Jay’s arms, while H hooks his finger under my chin, ensuring I look up at him.
H extends the bracelet to me, pointing at the red and purple sparkling gems. “This is my birthstone, I found out. And this is Jay’s.” He points to the blue stone, glittering in the light. “This is yours. We had to ask the lady who sold us the bracelet.” Then he points to the lime green gem. “This, if our calculations are correct, is Baby’s birthstone.”
Tears yet again blur my vision. “Really?”
H nods and with his free hand holds my waist. “Really. This is all of us. Together. And Jay and I were going to ask you tonight, after this appointment and fed Baby, if you’d be…ours.”
I sniff, keeping one arm on Jay who’s still holding me from behind, and with the other I wrap it around H’s neck. “Really?”
H leans his head down, his forehead touching mine, nodding.
“We both thought of the plan, and we both bought the necklace,” Jay grumbles.
“Sorry, honey." I turn and look over my shoulder. “Did it seem I was forgetting you?”
Jay gives me a quick kiss, pressing his body even more against mine. He’s getting excited, and I’m pretty sure H is too, which makes it impossible for my own body to calm down.
“We are in a doctor’s office,” I whisper.
Jay shrugs. “With my mom and Aunt Moe’s surprise visit, I’m not sure when’s the next time we’ll get this much privacy.”
H groans as he presses his hardening length against my hip. “Jay makes an excellent point.”
“All my points are excellent.”
I laugh at my men.
“I don’t know if my mom and dad want to stay with us or what,” H says, not missing a beat. “I’m pretty sure my mom will want to be close to get to know you better.”
“Stay with us?” I ask. “In our cabin?”
“‘Our cabin.’” H kisses my forehead. “Has a nice ring to it. I think it’s the first time one of us has called it that.”
“I think so too.” I nod.
Jay kisses my neck, always a vulnerable area for me. “Ours…” After licking my lobe, he says, “I like our life, our life together.”
I turn and kiss him. “I like it too. So much.”
H takes my cheek and pivots my face back to his. His other hand is holding my hip. “I love our life. It’s different, as Jay keeps saying. But I love it. And I love you, Dee.”
“I love you too,” Jay whispers against my ear.
I hadn’t noticed until then that our bodies are swaying and undulating slightly. It’s a dance. A different kind of dance I’d never expected with two men, let alone one.
And my heart—oh god, my heart is bursting with happiness. I feel yellow like the sun and wonder if I�
��m glowing.
Feeling daring from love, I reach down and cup both my men. They both appreciatively moan. But I cover their mouths.
“We can’t be loud,” I whisper. “We’re in a doctor’s office.”
“Are you saying yes to sex right now?” Jay adjusts my hips so my ass is against his erection, grinding himself against me.
Behind my hand, H asks, “Are you seriously going to leave us hanging? Admitting we love you, and you—”
I kiss his smart mouth, shutting him up, knowing he was teasing me. “I love the both of you so much. This—this isn’t what I expected. But I don’t know what I expected, honestly. This is…twice as wonderful as anything I could have ever imagined.” I quickly kiss him again. “Was that too corny?”
“I like corny,” both H and Jay say in unison then silently chuckle. H, though, takes the bracelet from the velvety confines and slips it on my wrist, where it sparkles, making me see flashes of light, flashes of love.
And, God, do I love H and Jay and need to show them how much.
Soon, their smiles are removed when I glide my hands down, back to their crotches. H is wearing a button-fly, making rubbing him a little bumpy, but the rhythm the buttons present is exhilarating. H tilts his head back, exposing his thick neck, the big tendons standing out. He’s getting even harder, but then he jerks and looks down at me. His hands desperately unbuttoning my jeans.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“We’re going to have sex, right?” He’s already pulling my jeans over my hips, Jay helping him.
“I—I thought I’d give you both a blow job.”
H stops and looks down at me. “But what about you?”
My cheeks heat. “I don’t know if I can. I’m in a doctor’s office. I just met your moms then had a vaginal ultrasound. I don’t know if I can…get there.”
“Have an orgasm?” Jay asks, easily sliding under my panties where he finds my wet sex. How is it he knows exactly where my clit is? Years of being with other men who seem to find Waldo more easily led me to think most men had no clue where that button is. At least on me. But both H and Jay know where it is. And how to press it.
I lean my head against his shoulder, letting him take over. “Yeah, I don’t know if I can.”
“What if I worry about your orgasm?” Jay whispers then takes my lobe in his mouth again. “I mean, I think I owe you. H got you off last time. Now it’s my turn.”
I want to protest, because…well, I thought I couldn’t get excited enough. But I find myself pressing against Jay’s fingers as he rolls over my clit again and again. H is doing something to my blouse then taking my nipple in his mouth, making me groan. Slapping my hand over my lips, I try to repress all noise, while H is silently chuckling.
“Here,” H whispers. “Let me cover your mouth.”
After I remove my hand, his lips find mine. He’s so warm, so firm, so confident. So bloody pushy sometimes. But I do love it.
“Oh crap,” I whisper, after pulling away from H’s kiss. “We have to be quick. That’s why I thought I’d give you blow jobs.”
Jay cups my breast. “Are you saying we don’t have much stamina, can’t last long when you suck us?”
I can’t answer as Jay sweeps over my nipple. I want to moan but can’t. About the only thing I can do is hold my breath as Jay circles over my clitoris and nipple in unison.
“The fact is,” H says, as he cups then caresses my other breast, “we don’t, man.”
Jay softly laughs. “I know that. I just didn’t know she knew.”
I smile, but then hold my breath again as Jay presses a little harder, H puts my nipple in his mouth once more.
“Let me worry about your orgasm, honey.” Jay’s pressing his erection against my back and it feels rock hard.
He removes his hand from my breast and pushes my jeans past my thighs.
Maybe I should argue about having sex in a doctor’s office. But as Jay locks the door, giving me a wicked grin, I can’t help but want this. I want them. And what’s more, I have them.
They’re mine.
Greedily, I find H’s shirt, unbuttoning his black flannel, but he has a t-shirt on under, utterly frustrating me.
“You want my shirt off, sweetheart?”
I nod as Jay accelerates the circles, making me flutter my lids shut.
The whisper of fabric moving opens my eyes, and I love focusing on H, on all that lovely masculine muscle he has, how lean he is, how his stomach contracts as I look him over. I reach out and skim my fingers down the hard bumps of his body until I stop on his rigid length.
Jay takes his hands from me, making me stop my inspection of H to look at him, kneeling behind me. He’s undoing one of my boots in a hurry and then extracting my leg from my pants and panties. He glances up and smiles at me as he pushes on my back to lean forward. Down, down, down I go, until I’m level with H’s bulge, which makes me excited to get to it, but before I do Jay licks up the center of me.
God, do I want to moan. I want to vocalize how good Jay’s tongue is on me, lapping at my clitoris. But I can’t, too scared of making noises. So I look for something to occupy my mouth. Okay, I’d thought of doing it before Jay started to lick me, but it’s an even better excuse to unzip H in a hurry and have him spring free from his boxers. As Jay spreads my legs wider, I engulf H with my mouth. I only pop the head of him in, and he’s moaning. I reach up with my hand and cover his lips, to which he immediately starts to suck my fingers.
All of us are a tad loud when it comes to sex. Personally, I love hearing H and Jay moan and grunt and all the other masculine noises when we’re making love. Those sounds are the most erotic I’ve ever heard and sometimes I wonder if I can orgasm just from that.
Jay’s licking and licking me into a frenzy, a frenzy that feels like an orgasm, which utterly surprises me. When I feel even a tiny bit of pressure, like if I only have a few minutes for sex, then I can’t come. But I know Jay and H love me. They want me like I want them. And although I’ve never looked forward to the future with much more than a certain amount of trepidation, now I’m so thrilled to look forward to the next day and the day after that I’m scared I’m a little obnoxious with how happy I am.
I’m trying to take more and more of H’s cock, but at this angle, it’s not very easy. H isn’t complaining, though. He’s holding my hair away from my face and I look up at him. He groans even though he’s sucking one of my fingers. Pulling my finger away, he says, “God, is it totally primitive of me to think that’s one of the hottest things to see? You sucking my dick and looking up at me?”
I pull away enough to smile. I’m about to say something slightly teasing like call him a cavemen, but then Jay stops, and I look behind me again, as he stands.
“Oh, don’t worry, Dee,” he says, “I’m going to make you come.”
“But I was so close when you were—”
He’s unzipping his jeans and within a second he’s inside me. I shake from the sweet invasion. He always stretches me. He’s just so thick, and no matter how many times we make love, it always takes a moment for my body to accept him. He knows this, and he’s holding still as he circles around my wet clit again.
I almost moan but then turn back into H’s cock, wrapping my lips around him, wanting to take him as far as I can. My free hand is on his hip, but I move to hold on to the base of his length then time my hand and mouth movements. Soon, I don’t have to move at all as Jay pounds into me, making it easier to take H. Jay’s thrusts are hard, fast. He’s already so excited. His usual thickness feels even more so. He clasps onto my hip with one hand, holding me with a grip that might bruise me, as he slams into me.
H’s breathing is quickening. His stomach contracts. He pulls my hair even farther away from my face, gently holding my head, encouraging me to stroke him with my mouth.
Jay’s breathing is also fast. He’s gripping me even tighter, the circles on my clit are driving me higher and higher.
“Oh,
honey,” Jay quietly growls. “Why do you feel so fucking good? So fucking good.”
H makes a noise that’s half grunt and half groan. His fingers are applying just a tiny bit more pressure into my scalp to hurry the pace. Jay’s also getting faster and faster.
H sucks in a sharp breath, holding me still as his hot spray invades my mouth. He’s pulsing on my tongue, and I can’t help but love that I’ve made him like this. He’s quivering, spasming.
“Let me lick her,” H says, still twitching from coming.
Then he’s on his knees, straightening me slightly, while Jay takes my breasts in both hands. Jay’s huge cock inside me is enough to make me think I might orgasm soon, but when I feel H’s hot breath on my sex, I gulp for air.
“In my mouth,” I whisper. “I need something thing in my mouth or I’ll explode.”
Both men softly laugh at this, but I’m serious. Then H reaches up with his hand, as I had for him, and I suck in his forefinger. He licks me right on my clit as Jay is thrusting somehow harder and harder. We’re making noise, the slap-slap of skin against skin. Jay tries to stop, but, oh, how I love our sex sounds. Somehow it’s even more of a turn on in a doctor’s office, where we’re being naughty together.
H sucks in my clit and somehow it all crashes down. My orgasm is faster than I’d anticipated and I rock against H’s tongue. I’m rolling my hips, wanting to moan, but sucking hard on H’s finger when I feel Jay thrust even faster. Then he clutches around me, holding me close and I can feel his cock pulsing. I feel him coming inside me.
We’re all huffing for air as I pull away from Jay, looking down at H as he catches me.
He’s cradling me on his lap, smiling. “Was that good, sweetheart?”
“So good.” I’m shaking and giddy.
“It was good for me too.” Jay says as he’s straightening his pants, already zipping himself up, except he’s still hard. I’ve learned that both H and Jay can sometimes stay hard after we’ve had sex, wanting more. And isn’t that a turn on?
Fly (Wild Love Book 2) Page 26