“So if you’re fighting for the Resistance, why haven’t you killed him by now?” The lamplight cast shadows across Jamie’s face.
“If it were the right thing to do, I would’ve tried it by now. Lord Alistair doesn’t want Respen killed just yet. It’d do more harm than good right now.”
Jamie’s eyes flashed up before flicking back to his boots. “I guess so.”
Leith tensed. A defiant light still shone in Jamie’s eyes. If Leith didn’t get through to him now, who knew what Jamie might try next.
“My father killed my mother.” Leith gripped the edge of the table and hung his head. Would he ever be able to contain the pain of those words? “If he hadn’t died that night too, I probably would’ve killed him.”
Jamie gaped at him.
Leith pushed up his right sleeve, revealing the rows of scars on his arm. “When I killed for Respen, I drew on that pent up anger. My father may have killed my mother once, but I killed him in my heart over and over and over again. When you plot to kill Respen, you’ve already killed him in your mind. You claim you’d never kill for Respen, but that’s what would happen eventually if you held on to your anger toward him.”
Jamie dragged in a shuddering breath. “So what do I do instead?”
Leith studied the set of Jamie’s jaw and shoulders. “You said your parents were Christians, but what do you believe?”
Jamie shrugged. “Not sure. Sometimes I still pray. But a lot of times, I’m just too angry.”
If only Leith knew the words to tell Jamie, but odds were that, growing up with Christian parents as he had, Jamie had probably read more of the Bible than Leith had. If Shad were here, he’d know what to tell Jamie. Or Brandi.
A smile twitched Leith’s mouth. There was one set of Bible stories he knew very well. “Do you know the stories about Daniel?”
Jamie shrugged. “Of course.”
“Daniel was just a boy when he was taken away from his parents. But he didn’t get angry at God. He kept praying and trusting.” Praying and trusting. How well was Leith doing that? Was he trusting?
Jamie hung his head. “I’m not much like Daniel.”
“Courage like Daniel’s only comes from God.” Leith leaned a hand against the tabletop. “Daniel didn’t keep praying and trusting because he had courage. He had courage because he prayed and trusted.”
“But what about King Respen? What happens to him?”
The lamp sizzled and huffed. The common room spread too far for the light to reach, casting the corners and under the tables in darkness. Leith studied the shadows but didn’t see any sign that Altin had woken. “We wait for justice. God might use the means of the government the Resistance intends to set up or He might wait, but Respen will face justice.”
Jamie nodded at that. He probably understood better than Leith did.
“It doesn’t mean we’re not going to do anything. There’s plenty for us to do.”
Jamie’s forehead furrowed as he nodded. “Some of the other trainees aren’t happy either. Some of them would want to leave if I talk to them.”
“Good, but be careful.” Leith eased to his feet and reached for the lamp. He’d pushed Jamie enough for one night. “Time to head back to your cot.”
Jamie bit his lip and rocked back and forth. “Do you think Brandi is all right? I wouldn’t want anything to happen to her. I haven’t really had a friend before.”
Leith patted Jamie’s shoulder. “I don’t want anything to happen to Renna or Brandi. Don’t worry. By the time Respen sends us out again, both of them will be long gone from Acktar.”
14
Renna slipped her hairbrush into the saddlebag she’d set on her bed. Only two saddlebags, yet she didn’t even have enough to fill them. Just a spare dress, a brush and a few of those kinds of essentials, her jewelry box, and her Bible.
She glanced around the room she’d had for the past couple of weeks. Lavender curtains hung across the window with a matching quilt on the bed. Braided rugs in a darker shade of purple covered most of the wooden floor. Home, and yet, not. Would anything ever feel like home again? Or would she always be living somewhere temporary? Somewhere not hers?
Lydia glided into the room and perched on the edge of the bed. Her long, brown hair brushed the waistline of her leaf-green dress. “Packing?”
Renna nodded. “Are you leaving too?”
Lydia shook her head. “Mother decided that we’d stay behind. There’ll be other times to leave, and getting the refugees out is more important. Father wasn’t exactly happy, but we’re sending Abigail, Esther, and Jeremiah away so they’ll be safe.”
Renna chewed on her lip. Was she being a coward running to the Resistance hideout? She was the niece of the late King Leon. Her mother had been a princess of Acktar. Should Renna step up and stay behind to rally the remnants of the Resistance?
Jolene poked her head into the room. “Need any help packing?”
Renna held up the saddlebags, then let them plop onto the bed. “All set.”
With the scuff of her buckskin divided skirt, Jolene swept into the room and plopped into the plush chair a few feet away from the bed. The arrows in the quiver strapped across her back rattled.
Renna scrubbed her fingers along her skirt. Why couldn’t she be more like Jolene? Jolene had a bow and arrows she’d used in defense of Sierra. Renna had a knife she couldn’t use strapped to her ankle.
Lydia’s slim mouth curved into a smile. “So, that peasant farmer that’s been hanging around lately. What’s his name? Daniel?”
Renna stilled. “What about him?”
“You looked good together at Brandi’s party.” Lydia’s smile grew to a grin.
Renna flopped onto the bed next to Lydia. “He’s…” A Blade, but Renna couldn’t say that. “He’s a wandering farmer. There’s a war coming, and I’m leaving.”
“And what does that have to do with it?”
Not a whole lot. Renna blew a strand of hair from her face. It flopped across her eyes. “I’m not sure he even sees me as anything other than a sister the way he does Brandi. Besides, he left last night, and I don’t know when he’ll be back. With this war coming, I might never see him again.”
“We’re cut off from most of Acktar now.” Jolene reached over her shoulder and touched the fletching on her arrows.
Lydia’s voice lowered. “We don’t know what’s happening to the western towns.”
Western towns, like Arroway where Lord Philip Creston lived. A lord Lydia had been attracted to when he’d visited for her birthday party four weeks ago.
Renna swallowed. Cut off from the towns to the west. Cut off from the towns to the south. Including Stetterly. Uncle Abel. Aunt Mara. Had they arrived at Stetterly safely?
A call came from downstairs. Renna drew in a deep breath and hoisted her saddlebags to her shoulder. Time to leave.
Renna’s shoulder ached with the weight of her saddlebag. Beside her, Brandi switched her saddlebag to her other shoulder and shifted from foot to foot.
The tents that had dotted the hills around Walden collapsed as each group packed up their things and moved out. One group headed east to follow the Spires Canyon before turning north. Another headed straight north, another west.
So many people leaving. Still, more poured into Walden each day. More people fleeing Uster and the last stragglers from Duelstone and Keestone. Even a few Christians from Mountainwood who’d somehow managed to remain hidden for years in a town controlled by a lord loyal to King Respen.
Partway up the hill, Lady Lorraine and Jolene both stood straight, their matching blond hair floating in a slight breeze. Lady Lorraine clasped the hand of an old woman. Jolene hugged a child. At the edge of town, Lord and Lady Alistair did the same thing for the citizens of Walden who were leaving.
Lady Lorraine, Lady Alistair, Jolene, Lydia. They’d all made the choice to stay behind as long as they could to help prepare Walden for the coming battle.
Renna shrugged her aching sh
oulder. She was doing it again. Letting others make her decisions for her.
Only a few weeks ago, she’d faced First Blade Vane. She’d found a small measure of courage, enough to strike at him when he’d held a knife to her throat. Had she already lost that courage?
What was she supposed to do? Was it her duty to leave or to stay? She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to pray, but the words wouldn’t come. Nothing besides the jumble inside her chest.
Lord Alistair strode toward her. “Your group is gathering. It’s almost time to go.”
Leave or stay? Safety or danger?
She pressed her finger against the buckskin of her divided skirt. It wouldn’t be that much danger. If it were, Lord Alistair wouldn’t allow Lady Alistair and Lydia to stay.
If Lydia and Jolene had the courage to stay, then surely Renna did too. Right?
Renna straightened her shoulders and let her saddlebag fall to the ground. “I’m not going.”
Lord Alistair’s eyes searched her face. “It’ll be safer if you and your sister leave now.”
It would be safer. She should listen to Lord Alistair. Surely he knew best.
But if she did, she’d be doing what she always did. Run. Hide. Let others make her decisions for her. Renna stiffened her spine. “You once asked me to step into the role of Lady Faythe of Stetterly, and my duty as Lady Faythe is to stand beside you and Lady Lorraine to prepare Walden for battle.”
Something glinted in Lord Alistair’s eyes. He dipped his head toward her. “Very well. You’ll stay here until my wife and daughter leave. Brandi—”
Brandi dropped her saddlebag so quickly it thunked on the stone and bounced down the front steps. “If Renna’s staying, then I stay too.”
Renna wrapped her arm around Brandi’s shoulders. “We stay together.”
“All right.” Lord Alistair turned to head back to the town. “I believe the healer has a few more things to finish up if you want to continue to help there.”
Brandi’s nose wrinkled. “Isn’t there something more interesting to do? Like make arrows or something?”
For the first time that morning, Lord Alistair’s eyes twinkled. His mouth managed a small quirk. “Well, we’re losing most of our ditch digging crew. Perhaps you’d like to help with that?”
Brandi planted her feet and held out a hand. “All right. Where’s a shovel?”
15
“You are failures.” Respen’s voice boomed around the dark meeting room.
Leith flinched with the rest of them. While he’d been unable to gain information about Vane, he’d brought information back from Walden.
“You are my Blades. You are better than this. No Blade has ever been able to run from me. No Blade has ever been able to hide.” Respen pounded the table. The two candles flickered with the vibrations shooting through the tabletop.
Next to Leith, Martyn swallowed hard and reached toward his hip where his knife normally rested. His eyes shot toward the far wall, where all the Blades’ weapons hung on pegs.
“Twelfth Blade Altin.”
Altin knelt in front of King Respen. “I aided the First Blade in training the boys. When the First Blade left for Sierra and Walden with the oldest trainee, I continued the training on the rest. All of the boys progressed well.”
“Well done, my Twelfth Blade.”
Altin’s shoulders sagged as he pushed up his right sleeve. Respen leaned forward and slashed a line across Altin’s upper arm.
As Altin returned to his seat, Leith struggled to pay attention through the rest of the reports. As First Blade, he’d heard the short version of all of these reports once already. How did Respen manage to remain so alert while hearing these reports for the second time?
Leith clenched his fists below the table. Another way Respen kept his Blades in check. A Blade might be able to lie once, but to lie twice—once to the First Blade and once to Respen’s face—increased the chances the lie would be noticed. Or, in Leith’s case, he had to lie to Respen’s face twice.
“First Blade Torren.” Respen’s voice shuddered through the shadows.
Leith stood. He only had to take a single step and kneel now that he sat in the first seat on the king’s right. He thumped his right hand over his heart and met Respen’s eyes. “I trained the boys for two weeks before I was sent to Sierra to aid in the attack. I sneaked into Sierra Manor, but they were already roused. After the attack on Sierra, I rode to Walden. While there, I was able to learn that the Resistence hideout in the Sheered Rock Hills is called Eagle Heights and that Harrison Vane is most likely hiding there.”
“You have executed your orders, but not as successfully as I know you can.” Respen’s dark eyes stabbed into Leith. “Still, you have done enough to earn a success.”
Leith suppressed his sigh of relief as he rolled up his right sleeve. His thirty-seventh successful mark. He didn’t wince as the sharp edge sliced into his skin, drawing a line of blood. After so many years and so many marks, the feel of the king’s knife on his skin was more familiar than his mother’s touch.
Respen leaned closer until his breath hissed across Leith’s face. “Twice my First Blade has failed to kill the ladies Rennelda and Brandiline. Do not fail me this time, my First Blade.”
Leith had expected Respen would eventually order him to kill Renna and Brandi, but he hadn’t realized it’d be this soon. At least they’d be long gone from Walden by the time he arrived. “Of course, my king.”
Respen leaned back in his chair. His fingers drummed against the armrest while his dark eyes contemplated Leith. “After you kill them, I want you to stay in Walden. Vane seems to have developed a particular fascination with those girls. Their deaths will spur him out of his hole and into our trap. Take the boy along. It will be a good lesson for him.”
“Yes, my king.” Leith saluted and stood when Respen waved his dismissal.
“The rest of you, your orders are same as before.” Respen stood. “The next meeting will be held four weeks from today.” He swept from the room, the door banging against the stone behind him.
As the Blades shoved to their feet, Leith turned to Martyn. “You look beat.”
“Been riding through the Sheered Rock Hills for a month. You’re lucky I took a dip in a creek a few days ago or I’d smell as bad as I look. I collapsed into bed when I got in without bothering to clean up or shave.” Martyn rubbed a hand over the scruff on his face. “Rough country up there. Had a run in with a mountain lion.” He pulled up his shirt and showed Leith the healing wounds on his back.
Leith winced. His friend had been hurt trying to find a man who was no longer alive. If only Leith could end this useless hunt without giving himself away. “Wish I could say rest up and get a hot meal, but looks like you’ve been assigned the same patrol.”
Martyn dragged his fingers through his hair. “Where do you want us positioned?”
Leith closed his fingers around the space where one of his knives’ hilts normally rested. Where should he position the other Blades that’d be the most convenient for the Resistance without being suspicious?
“Stick towards the west and prepare to swing to the east to cut Vane off once he enters Walden. Stay well clear of Walden. We don’t want him to catch sight of you if he does make the journey from Eagle Heights to Walden. I’ll let you know once I’ve killed the girls.”
“Right.” Martyn slapped him on the back. “Good luck. You’re going to need it. I’m beginning to think those girls must hold a curse or something to have survived this long.”
Leith nodded. When Martyn strode across the room to gather his weapons, Leith shook his head. “Not a curse. A blessing.”
16
As the sun stretched its arms into the sky, Leith and Jamie led their horses to the hilltop overlooking Walden Manor.
Even in the few days they’d been gone, the trench around the manor had deepened until it almost could be called a ditch. Any deeper and they’d need a bridge to get their horses across.
&nb
sp; In the town, houses and shops were being disassembled board by board so the timber and beams could be used to construct defensive walls around the manor.
Since Leith and Jamie were dressed in their homespun clothes, the guards circling the manor paid them no mind besides asking a few basic questions. Leith headed straight to the study while Jamie took care of their horses.
When the guard at the door announced him as Daniel and pushed the door open, Lord Alistair and Shad looked up. Both of them stood in front of the map hung on the wall behind Lord Alistair’s desk. Tacks had been pushed into the wood, and Shad’s hand hovered over Uster as if about to push in another tack.
Shad grinned. “Welcome back.”
Leith checked that the door was closed. “Respen ordered me to kill Renna and Brandi.”
Shad crossed his arms. “Not unexpected.”
“No. Respen hopes to use this to lure Vane out of hiding. It’ll be hard to explain if Vane doesn’t make an appearance. I think it’s a test.” Leith placed a hand on one of his knives. “Respen’s already suspicious of me. He’s testing if I’ll carry out this order or not. But it doesn’t matter. Renna and Brandi are long gone.”
Lord Alistair frowned. Shad rubbed his sword’s hilt. “Actually, Renna and Brandi decided to remain here.”
“What?” Leith’s muscles froze. What was he going to do now? He couldn’t carry out his orders, and now he didn’t have an excuse for failing.
His heart lurched. He’d be able to see Renna one more time.
“This could be the time to pull you out.” Lord Alistair sank onto his leather chair. “You’ve done much for us already.”
Leave Nalgar Castle forever. He could be free of orders and marks and spilled blood. He’d be able to attend church each Sunday instead of Respen’s twisted Meeting of the Blades. He could go to Eagle Heights with Renna and Brandi and spend time with both of them. Leith closed his eyes. Was it possible for a dream to hurt this much?
Deny (The Blades of Acktar Book 2) Page 9