His brow rose, thinking of several instances he could use to dispute that fact. Instead, he asked, “And you will give yours in return? I have your promise?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you’ll tell me everything and I’ll tell you everything. Both of our questions will be answered honestly—no refusals this time.”
* * *
Tell me everything.
“Why does it matter?” Pia touched her face, feeling the smooth texture as she remembered her scars. She thought of the dead Rayvikian. She thought of her parents. She thought of the life she’d led. She didn’t think he would understand it. He came from such an honorable people. She didn’t think he would see her life as honorable.
“It matters, Pia, because you are my wife.”
Pia wondered how long he would want her for a wife after she told him the truth. But, as she looked at him, she was tired of lying and hiding.
“Shift,” she requested softly. Tears came to her eyes.
Zoran’s brow furrowed in confusion.
“Just shift,” she insisted, grimacing in light annoyance that he didn’t automatically obey her.
Zoran slowly shifted to take on the dragon form. His golden eyes looked at her, swirling like molten lava. Pia looked at him carefully. Now changed, his chest heaved with deeper breaths. Pia went to him, lifting her hand to his face. She felt the roughened texture of his dark skin.
Zoran’s gaze bore steadily into her. Her heart slowed and the familiar loneliness and aching filled her.
Closing her eyes, she continued to touch him, feeling his neck. “My parents were stationed on an Earthbase on Dagar Twelve. It’s one of the moons in what’s known as the Dead Man’s quadrant. It’s called the Dead Man’s because everyone on the base didn’t exist on any official record—anywhere. According to the New Earth government, the base didn’t exist. It’s where I grew up.”
Zoran held very still. Her eyes opened to look at him and she drew slowly back, letting her hand fall as she sat on the bed. Zoran didn’t shift back. She was more comfortable talking to him like this. Pia took a steady breath. Zoran was still strong and strangely attractive. But, without the handsome human features or the tormenting look of his brown eyes, she could relax enough to speak to him.
“My parents were spies and assassins for a secret branch of the Human Intelligence Agency,” Pia continued. “My father raised me. My mother was killed on assignment when I was about one. Ever since I could walk, I was trained to be in the family business, as were the other children on the base. Then, when I was fifteen, the New Earth government changed power and thus their politics. The Dagar base was forgotten for about a year, written off as a testing lab for mutated diseases. But, when it was discovered what we really were, the government decided they needed to cover us up. They sent a cleanup crew to kill everyone on the base—including children, babies, even the animals. We never saw it coming. Everything was destroyed.”
“But you escaped,” Zoran’s rough dragon voice probed.
Pia stood and touched her side. Running her finger over the length of her scar beneath her red dress, she said, “All children on the base were outfitted with locators. If anything happened, if we became injured when we were out on the training courses or in some simulated assignment, the locators would go off and a personal medic droid would come to retrieve us. They’d drag us to a safe hideout underground and doctor us up. Let me tell you, those droids came in handy and were well used. That’s how we started the game of guessing each other’s wounds. We had nothing better to do in the recovery unit.”
She smiled wryly and shrugged as if it were a normal upbringing.
“My father was good man, Zoran. He was gone a lot on assignment, but he believed in what he was doing. During the attack, he became trapped beneath some rubble. I tried to pull him out, but I wasn’t strong enough. He must have known something was wrong because he told me he loved me, grabbed his knife, and gave me this.” She pressed her hand to her scar. “I saw him and the rest of my home blow up as the medic droid was dragging me away to safety.”
Her eyes turned sad and she sat back down. Pia lightly traced her cheek with a delicate finger. Zoran moved silently to sit beside her. She blinked in surprise to see him shift back to human form.
“I think I like you better the other way,” Pia admitted. “It’s not so intimidating.”
Zoran looked as if he would have laughed if she wasn’t so serious.
“Anyway, ah, after I got out of recovery, I learned most of my friends were dead, practically everyone I had ever known was murdered, save for a remaining handful of people. Since we didn’t exist, we had nothing, no one, no planet. The assistant director of the base took us under his wing. He had a lot of contacts and he got us out of there. We each gave ourselves a new name, complete with galactic ID’s and fake birth certificates. I became Pia Korbin and, before we knew it, we were up and running again as a rogue agency for hire. I was sixteen.”
Pia stopped talking. Her eyes were wet but she didn’t cry. She lay back on the bed. Lifting up one leg, she unzipped her boot.
“Why Pia Korbin?” Zoran asked, watching the long line of her legs stretch into the air.
“My mother was Pia. My father was Korbin,” she answered simply. “Pia Korbin.”
Leaning back on his elbow, Zoran questioned, “What was your name before that?”
Pia chuckled, kicking off her boots. “Seven. As in, seventh child born on the base, born on the seventh of the seventh Earth month.”
“You became an assassin?”
Pia sat up. She suddenly realized how much she’d revealed to him. “I think I’ve told you enough. You should be satisfied with that. I more than answered your questions. You know how I got the scar.”
“Pia,” Zoran began.
“It’s late. I’m tired.”
“No, you’re not,” he stated. When her brow rose, he added, “In Draig I can detect such things.”
“I’m tired of talking about this,” Pia corrected. There was no use in denying it since he seemed so sure. She wondered what else he could detect in her. Could he feel the treacherous longing in her body? Could he sense her desperate need to be held by him? “Where did you learn to dance?”
The question took him by surprise and he stared at her.
“I never danced before tonight,” she said. “It was fun. Thank you.”
Zoran edged closer to her. “You are a natural.”
“I had a good teacher.”
He moved closer. “There are other things I would teach you if you’d let me.”
Pia couldn’t look away. “Do you really want me to kiss you? Or are you just being nice?”
That seemed to bring him up short. She was deadly serious.
Carefully, Zoran asked, “How can you not know the answer to that?”
“I guess I do,” Pia said, a deep sadness welling up within her. She stood from the bed and began moving to the closet to change. “I can’t say I blame you. I understand perfectly. I mean I never was very pretty, even before the accident.”
Pia froze mid-stride. Her arms dropped and she closed her eyes, biting wearily at her lips to keep them shut.
“Accident?” he probed, standing behind her.
“Your Draig must be off tonight,” she mumbled. “I have to be tired. I’m rambling and not making any sense.”
Zoran forced her to turn around and look at him. Pia’s chin lowered to face the floor, not wanting to watch him force himself to touch her. He slid his hand down her arm to her waist and ran his thumb over her wound.
“You think because of a little scar, you’re not pretty?” he asked.
“I think I’m not pretty because I’m not,” Pia answered matter-of-factly. “I have no grand illusions. It’s not like they taught a course on self-delusion in between tracking and hand-to-hand combat.”
Zoran’s hand caressed over the red satin gown.
“I know you want sons and are duty bou
nd to,” Pia hesitated, “do this. I know you’re honorable, Zoran, and will always do your duty. I only hope I didn’t tarnish your honor by what I told you. I won’t repeat it to anyone. And, really, none of the old crew knows I’m here. It’s not like they’re coming anytime soon for a visit.”
“Pia, the medic told me that you,” Zoran hesitated. Pia pulled away from him. Her expression grew hard. “He said that you appeared to have had some kind of surgery recently. Is that why you owed Galaxy Brides? Is that why you had to agree to come here? To repay a debt?”
Her expression must have answered for her.
“I want to understand,” Zoran persisted. “Did something happen on one of your assignments?”
Again, her face answered yes without speaking. She held deathly still.
“You had to change your face, your appearance in order to disappear?” he questioned. “That’s what the surgery was, wasn’t it? You had to hide your identity?”
Pia nodded. Aside from the small gesture she didn’t move.
“Is that why you don’t want to be married to me? You were forced to come here and thought you’d be rejected so you could get out of your debt, but I chose you and ruined your plans?”
“You’re very perceptive,” Pia said, her tone cold. “Although, you got one fact wrong. If you didn’t choose me, I would still have my debt. Whether it was you and this planet or some other guy somewhere else, in the end I would be married. That was the deal with Galaxy Brides. An exclusive bridal contract.”
* * *
Zoran closed his eyes and turned away. She’d been forced. He couldn’t bear to look at her. It hurt too much.
Zoran didn’t want to tell her that he felt bits and pieces inside of her—that when she broke his crystal, they were forever joined. He didn’t want her knowing she could feel inside of him, if she would just open herself up. Then she would know his heart was broken. He felt as if the organ had been ripped out of his chest. He wanted her so badly, but for her, he was the losing side of a gamble she took to save her own life.
Until he had her trust and she had his, he didn’t want her having the power to use his emotions against him. He wasn’t sure what she would do with such a power. Zoran had listened to her story in fascination. He wasn’t really sure what to think.
All he knew was that he really wanted to kiss her, pull her into his arms, and never stop. She was so beautiful in her red satin dress. It accented her tanned skin, hugged dangerously and seductively to her curves. He wanted her and he couldn’t have her.
Pia, misunderstanding his withdrawal, said, “I’m sorry you’re the one who had to get stuck with me, Zoran, I truly am.”
Zoran didn’t move. Pia crossed over to the lights and dimmed them. He tensed, wondering what she was doing. His eyes shifted to see clearly in the dark. She found him easily, running her hands over his shoulder. She brought her fingers around to the front side of his tunic. Feeling her way down his unmoving body, she unbuttoned his tunic front and pushed it down his arm, baring his chest. His breath deepened. He watched her face carefully, knowing she was blindly feeling him in the dark.
“You said you wanted me to touch you,” she whispered. Pia’s fingers ran over his chest and arms, willingly touching him. She glided her hands over his stomach. She found the waist of his pants and slowly worked them down over his hips, bending at the knee to guide them to the floor.
Zoran wanted her to come to him willingly, but not like this. Not because she was the unlucky participant in a contract, not because she had a debt to fulfill. He wanted her to want him. It was a bittersweet ache she stirred. Though he smelled her desire and knew she did want him with her body, it wasn’t enough for him. He wanted her to want him with her mind and her heart. She trembled slightly and he saw her bite her lip. He didn’t move.
Pia took her hands and ran them over his calves and knees. She caressed her fingers delicately over his heated flesh, feeling the hair-roughened texture of his legs, moving up to intimately touch the sides of his hips.
“Is this how you wanted me to touch you?” Pia closed her eyes and swallowed. She couldn’t see his expression, only feel him stir against her.
Zoran saw her vulnerability clearly in the dark. When he didn’t answer, too enthralled by her to speak, she ran her fingers up his sides to feel his broad shoulders and neck.
“Do you still want me to kiss you?” She leaned in to cautiously kiss his chest.
He nodded. She couldn’t see the gesture.
“Like this?” Pia whispered. She kissed him again. Zoran’s breath caught, but he didn’t stop her. She lifted her hands to her dress and slowly drew the satin from her shoulders. It whispered over her body as it pooled on the ground, leaving her gloriously naked.
Zoran tensed, his cock already hard with desire.
“Did you still want to touch me?” Pia whispered. She stood vulnerable and naked before him. “Zoran?”
Zoran’s hand tightened and lifted. He didn’t want her like this, standing before him like a human sacrifice. He didn’t want her as a whore he paid for. For, surely, that’s how she felt. Why else would she be offering herself to him all of a sudden?
“You don’t have to do this, Pia,” Zoran said. He ached to hold her. His body burned with desire. Turning away from her was the hardest thing he’d ever done. He went to the dresser and searched for a pair of light cotton pants. Finding them easily in the dark, he turned to find her clutching the red satin to her chest. He imagined she felt relief. “I’m sorry if I made you feel you had to repay your debt to me in such a way. I never wanted to force you to do something you didn’t want to do.” He couldn’t let himself look at her. If he did, his resolve would crumble and he would go to her. Weakly, he said, “You can have the bed, Pia. I’ll sleep on the couch tonight.”
With a whispering slide of the door, he left her. Zoran crossed naked to the bathroom, clutching his cotton pants. Tonight, a cold shower wouldn’t be enough to drain the throbbing need from his loins or the torment from his body. She’d pushed him past the point of no return.
If he couldn’t release himself inside her, then he would do the only thing he could. He would end the physical need with the fantasy of her in his head. And the other, more torturous suffering, he would bury in his chest and pray that the pain didn’t kill him.
* * *
Pia had hoped the darkness would help him forget who she was and what she looked like. Maybe then he wouldn’t have to take her so fast in an effort to get it over with, like the last time. Her heart squeezed until she thought it would burst. Not even darkness helped.
She’d thrown herself at him, offered him everything he’d asked for—touching and kissing him willingly, allowing him to touch her if he wanted. He’d refused and the ache of his rejection was so painful, she could barely hear his words. Not even in the dark was she desirable to him. How could she blame him? Had she told him too much of her past? Was he ashamed to be married to a hired gun?
Pia knew Zoran tried to be a husband to her. He tried to do his duty, but it would seem tonight he didn’t have the energy to pretend. Her body coursed with precarious emotions and she let the pain overtake her.
Pia collapsed on the floor, naked and trembling. Her mouth moved to scream her agony, but only a gasp came out. Rocking in the dark, tears began falling soundlessly out of her eyes. She wanted to die.
Chapter 30
Zoran left with the dawn, thoroughly exhausted. He’d ducked into the room only long enough to grab a tunic. His eyes had strayed to Pia on the mattress. She slept, sprawled out on the bed. Her arms and legs stretched in every direction.
His duty weighed heavily upon him. If he had to choose between going to fight the Var to retrieve Yusef’s bride, or facing the feelings he harbored in his heart for his uncaring wife, he gladly picked the first. At least against the Var, he knew it was a battle he could win.
About an hour after arriving on the practice field, Zoran saw the two trackers he’d sent after Yus
ef’s wife. They said it had been difficult, but they found her and her Var captors camping in the shadowed marshes. Zoran knew the area. He’d scouted through it before. It was an awful place. The rotting smell of molding plant life and animal carcasses masked even the barest traces of scent from most of their kind—from all but the elite group of Draig trackers who were chosen for their highly developed sense of smell.
He sent word to Ualan, Olek, and his father that they were to ride out immediately. Yusef still hadn’t awakened and the doctor didn’t sound as hopeful as the night before. The fallen prince was worsening.
Zoran strode across the practice field with only his sword and knife for weaponry. He went to join his brothers, who were swinging up onto their ceffyls. Ualan’s face was red. Zoran knew from his father that Morrigan had recovered enough to open her eyes early that morning. Whatever she’d said to Ualan had driven him from her side like he was being chased by a pack of demons. The rage would serve him well on this mission.
Ualan snarled darkly.
“There will be enough blood for all of us,” Zoran answered in return, seeing his brother’s mounting fury, though not exactly disapproving of it. Gripping the center horn of his mount, he swung up behind the beast’s bare shoulders. The ceffyl’s fanged mouth darted open with a hiss of his long tongue.
“Your wife will recover,” Olek said to Ualan, joining them. “Her mind is well.”
“Not if I strangle her into the grave,” Ualan roared fiercely. His face shifted briefly.
The king rode up beside them. Olek and Zoran exchanged looks. Zoran could well understand his brother’s frustration. He too felt it every time he thought of Pia. How he got the strength to refuse her when she offered herself to him, he would never know. Even now he wanted to hold her. His lips ached to feel her mouth. He pressed them into a hard line to keep himself from feeling anything.
Ualan growled darkly, swearing under his breath as he kicked his steed into action. Murder flashed in his golden eyes as his ceffyl took off. The king looked at his sons. Zoran merely shrugged in return. He had no words to offer his father. He had no words to offer himself. Kicking their mounts, the three men were quickly behind Ualan.
Dragon Lords Books 1 - 4 Box Set: Anniversary Edition Page 95