by Lylah James
Play for me, Angel.
My fingers were itching. The urge was fierce and intense. My body was humming with the need to play. I didn’t understand the feeling.
But it felt like I would suffocate if I didn’t play.
Alessio’s voice kept ringing through my ears.
All the memories were coming like flashes behind my eyes.
Play for me, Angel.
I gasped, trying to breathe as my lungs constricted. Without thinking, I got out of bed. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach but ignored it.
I heard Alessio calling my name…I ignored him too. I ran out of the bedroom, my feet taking me to the piano room. I opened the door and walked inside.
I turned on the lights, and the room was instantly illuminated. I felt Alessio behind me, and my tensed shoulders started to relax.
Taking a deep breath, I walked further inside and stopped in front of the piano.
“Angel,” Alessio whispered. I could hear the surprise in his voice.
Do you want to play?
Yes. Yes. Yes. I wanted to play. There was a fiery desperation in my heart. I wanted to break down and cry from the feeling. It was too much. It felt too much.
Play for me, Angel.
I wanted to. I wanted to play for Alessio.
But I didn’t know how.
I closed my eyes, feeling a slow ache in my temple.
Play for me, Angel.
I sat down on the bench, keeping my eyes closed.
The moment my fingers made contact with the piano, I was lost. Lost in this feeling that took over me.
I was no longer my own. My mind went back to so many days ago.
My fingers glided over the piano. I didn’t think. I just let it happen.
Softly. Gently. I played.
Notes kept spilling from the piano, and a sweet melody came through. The music washed over me like a sweet, gentle wave.
I opened my eyes and made direct contact with Alessio’s blue ones. He was sitting on the couch, his expression filled with astonishment.
I saw it change into something else. I didn’t understand what it was, but his face softened, and a smile played across his lips.
He brought his fists to his lips. I noticed his hands shaking.
My lips moved…I was smiling.
With the melody playing around us, I stared at Alessio.
We stared at each other.
Blue to green.
It felt like I could finally breathe.
In that moment, I forgot everything. Every hurt. Every pain. Every bad memory.
Only this moment existed.
Me playing the piano. Alessio watching me.
I felt…peace.
I didn’t realize the song had ended and I had stop playing until Alessio stood up. Snapping out of my daze, I watched him move beside me.
Alessio knelt down beside me and took my hands in his. “Do you remember, Angel?”
My heart sank at his question. Shaking my head, I closed my eyes in despair.
“I only remember playing…the piano. I don’t even remember the song or how I played. It…just…happened,” I said quietly.
“Open your eyes, Ayla.”
My eyes snapped open at his demand. “It’s okay. Take your time. I will wait for you,” he soothed.
He palmed my cheeks. “Hearing you play, that was the most beautiful thing ever. I feel like I can finally breathe, Angel.”
He was the same as me. I pinched my eyes closed when they stung. Alessio swept me up in his arms and carried me out of the room.
On the bed, I burrowed deeper into his chest. His lips touched my forehead softly.
This was how we fell asleep. In each other’s arms.
And nothing hurt.
***
“You know, I’m feeling very jealous right now. You talk to Alessio and even spoke to Mom a few days ago. How is that fair?”
The woman with dark hair wrapped her arms with mine. Her name was Maddie. She was always with me if Alessio wasn’t. She took me everywhere around the house. Maddie spoke a lot too.
“You still won’t speak to me,” she muttered.
My chest grew tight at her pained expression. “Why won’t you talk to me? Are you angry with me?”
I shook my head quickly. Swallowing hard, I looked in her eyes. She seemed familiar, but I just couldn’t remember her.
When I didn’t say anything, she sighed and gave me a sad smile. I didn’t like the sad smile on her face. She was nice and sweet. Just like Alessio and Lena.
Maddie started to walk again, but I didn’t. She turned around and faced me. “What’s wrong?”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Opening my eyes again, I looked at her. “I…don’t remember you.”
Her mouth fell open. We stared at each other in silence before she started laughing.
I didn’t understand why she was laughing. She wiped away tears from her eyes and pulled me into her arms.
“Ayla, you just made me the happiest woman,” she said in my neck.
I hugged her back.
Her laughter died, and I heard sniffling. My heart stuttered when I felt wetness on my neck. Was she crying?
I went to pull away, but her arms tightened. “I’m sorry, Ayla. I’m so sorry. If only I knew,” she cried.
What was she talking about?
Maddie continued to sob. “It hurts, Ayla. It hurts so much. Sometimes it feels like I can’t breathe. I lost him. I…lost…him. I’ll never hold him.”
Confused, I just hugged her. I didn’t understand what was happening. I didn’t know how to help, so I just held her. Like Alessio held me when I was hurting.
I hoped it was enough for Maddie.
When Maddie finally calmed down, she pulled away. She gave me a sweet smile. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I needed that.”
Bringing my hand up, I wiped her tears. “Okay,” I replied.
Maddie’s lips wobbled, and she pinched her eyes closed. “Damn it, Ayla. Don’t make me cry again.”
“I don’t…like…it when you cry.”
“You really are an Angel.” She laughed.
I nodded. “Alessio calls me Angel.”
Maddie rolled her eyes. “Yeah, because he is such a romantic at heart.”
She raised an eyebrow at me. “I will tell you a secret.”
“Okay,” I said as she pulled me closer.
“If it wasn’t for me, that hard-ass Mafia man and his Angel would have never been one. Let’s just say, I’m the captain of the ship.”
Maddie winked and smiled. She was really pretty when she smiled.
“I don’t understand,” I finally said.
“You don’t have to understand. Just know that this ship will never sink under my watch,” Maddie replied.
We walked down the stairs, but my steps froze when I saw who was standing at the bottom. Maddie stopped beside me too.
“Ayla, how nice to see you again.”
The woman with blonde hair smiled at me, but it didn’t look nice. She was the same woman who was with Alessio before.
I felt a sudden surge of emotion inside of me.
I didn’t like her.
“Nina,” Maddie growled beside me.
The name sounded so familiar. I felt like I knew her before. But I couldn’t remember.
“Fine, I won’t say anything this time.”
“Please don’t. Nobody wants to hear your bullshit,” Maddie snapped.
Nina rolled her eyes and walked up the stairs. She kept her eyes on me, and I almost shuddered at the cold look she gave me.
“I don’t know why Alessio is still interested in you,” she muttered, walking past me.
You are so…stiff
Do you really think you can keep Alessio interested for long?
I’m more like him. We have always been compatible.
My lips parted as the memory crashed through me.
“I remember you,” I said, turning around. Nina st
opped and faced me.
“Oh really?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
I didn’t understand the memories, but they were there. She was there.
I rubbed my forehead, trying to get rid of the small ache.
“I don’t like you,” I whispered.
I saw Nina smile. But it was quickly gone.
“I know,” she said before walking away.
Maddie huffed beside me and started to pull me down the stairs. “I swear I will kick her one day.”
I was still lost in my thoughts, trying to understand what just happened, when Maddie halted in her steps.
I stopped and looked up to see Alessio coming through the door. At the sight of me, he quickly made his way to us.
Alessio pressed his lips on mind and then said, “Do you want to go the creek?”
I simply nodded, lost in his embrace and beautiful blue eyes.
I quickly forgot about Nina. I only saw Alessio.
He nodded at Maddie and pulled me away. I waved at Maddie and followed Alessio.
We walked away from the house and toward the trees. My hand was held firmly in his much bigger one while we made our way to the creek.
The trees started to clear up, and I could hear the sound of rushing water. My heart drummed faster, and I felt giddy.
We stopped in the middle of the clearing, surrounded by flowers.
Alessio knelt down in front of me and removed my sandals. “You love to be barefooted here.”
“Thank you,” I murmured when he stood up.
He stepped back and walked toward the flowing water. I remembered this.
Closing my eyes, I let the memories take over my mind. My heart felt lighter, and I breathed in the fresh air.
My eyes opened when I got closer to the water. I looked back at Alessio. His arms were crossed over his chest as he stared at me.
My gaze moved back toward the water. I stepped forward, my feet making contact with the chilling, rushing water. I shivered as I walked ankle deep.
I felt the rushing water against my feet and closed my eyes, letting this new feeling wash over me.
I didn’t hurt.
It felt nice…I felt content.
When I felt an arm around my waist, I leaned back against Alessio’s chest.
“May I have this dance, Angel?”
My eyes snapped opened.
May I have this dance, Angel?
We had done this before. I turned in his arms, and Alessio pulled us out of the room. My feet dug into the grass as I stared into his eyes.
“I don’t know how to dance,” I muttered, completely lost in his gaze.
Alessio chuckled. “Neither do I.”
He brought my hands to his shoulders and wrapped his around my waist.
And then we moved. We glided across the field, and with each step, my chest felt fuller.
My stomach rolled and twisted. My heart drummed just a little faster.
We never once broke eye contact.
We were lost in each other.
Alessio gathered me even closer to him, his arms tight around me.
In that moment, all I felt was peace. I felt protected. Safe.
He was my lifeline.
And I knew, as long as my savior was with me, I was safe.
Chapter 13
I was sitting on the bed waiting for my Alessio. My hand was on my round stomach, feeling the baby move.
The door opened, and Alessio walked out of the bathroom. His towel was around his shoulders as he dried his hair. His chest was bare; he wore only black sweatpants.
Alessio caught my eyes and smiled. “Why don’t you go and wait for me in the piano room?”
I nodded and got up. Alessio placed a quick kiss on my lips as I walked out of the room. I stood in front of the piano room.
Taking a deep breath, I walked inside. The piano was the first thing I saw. Feeling excited, my body hummed in response.
Since I started playing some days ago, Alessio and I never missed a night.
Playing made me feel at peace, and I wanted to bask in the warmth of Alessio’s stares.
Walking further into the room, I stopped beside Alessio’s couch. A small sigh escaped my lips as I waited for Alessio.
As I was looking down, something else entirely caught my eyes.
My gaze shifted toward the couch beside Alessio’s, and I took a step toward it. My breath froze in my throat.
I took another step, stopping right in front of the couch.
The scene, right here, felt so familiar.
Even through the shock, my eyes didn’t lose focus on the sight in front of me.
A single white flower lay on the seat.
It looked so soft and delicate. Reaching out, I took the flower in my hand and brought it to my chest.
I was right. It was soft and delicate. The petals were open, and it looked absolutely beautiful.
Did Alessio leave this flower for me?
I couldn’t help but smile. Of course he would.
He was so sweet.
I held the flower close to my racing heart and closed my eyes.
My stomach flipped, and it felt like my heart was dancing.
“I can safely assume that you love the peony.”
My eyes widened at Alessio’s voice, and I turned around, facing him. He was leaning against the door, regarding me with curious yet adoring eyes.
His head was cocked to the side, and the corner of his mouth was stretched up in a half smile.
My cheeks burned, and I looked down. “I love it,” I replied softly. “It’s really beautiful.”
Alessio walked closer and stopped in front of me. He tilted my chin up so our gazes met. His was filled with warmth. His eyes shifted to my lips, and I licked them nervously.
He moved even closer, until our chests brushed together. I sucked in a deep breath and waited for him move.
“I’m going to kiss you,” he murmured, his gaze moving back to my lips.
“Okay,” I whispered back.
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, a flash of pain went through my skull. I winced, my fingers tightening around the flower.
Memories after memories flashed behind my closed eyes.
I couldn’t stop them. They kept coming without a pause. So much. Too much at the same time. My head felt like it was going to explode.
My heart raced as each memory made its way into my thoughts.
Another wave of pain crashed through me. It was crippling, and I dropped the flower, my hands going to my head.
I dug my fingers in my head, the world spinning around me.
No. No. No. No.
Stop!
It hurt. It hurt so much.
“Ayla!” I heard a voice calling out my name.
Alessio. He was calling for me.
I tried to respond, but my tongue felt heavy. My lips parted, but instead a wounded cry left my mouth.
My throat closed up, and I rubbed at my neck furiously, trying to fight for my next breath.
My knees buckled, but an arm caught me. “Ayla! Fuck.”
My head pounded as I sank into oblivion.
This. This was why I didn’t want to remember.
The pain. It felt like my heart was being wrenched open. I was bleeding. From the inside, I was being cut open.
I would never forget the pain. I wanted to forget; I wanted to be numb.
But it was too late now.
I had remembered, and now I had to live with those memories.
Chapter 14
My head ached as my eyes slowly opened. I felt heavy. I blinked my eyes open, trying to understand what just happened.
I focused on the ceiling, my head a little fuzzy.
“Ayla?”
At the sound of my name, I turned my head toward the voice. My eyes made contact with blues one.
Alessio!
My heart stuttered, and I let out a choked cry. I remembered everything. Every moment. Every word he said. And every
thing after.
Alberto.
My eyes widened, and I sat up quickly. There was no escaping him.
“Shhh…I’m right here, Angel,” Alessio soothed. He held my hands in his as he tried to smile. He looked worried, and I saw the fear in his eyes.
I couldn’t stop the tears. Alessio found me. He was here. He was really here.
He saved me…
I was safe.
He took me away from hell.
My heart soared, and I quickly scrambled into his lap. “Alessio,” I sobbed, wrapping my arms around him.
Burying my face in his neck, I cried. I had believed in Alessio. I had trusted him.
For once, I was happy that I never lost hope.
No matter what, I knew he would come for me.
My heart soared, and I held him tighter. I never wanted to let go.
I would never let go. He was mine as much as I was his. The day our eyes met, our fate had been decided.
“I got you, Angel.”
Those words. His voice. It had the same effect on my heart just as before. His voice was exactly what I needed to hear.
And those words…I had been desperate for them.
I knew he got me. He always did.
Alessio held me against him, and he whispered sweet words in my ears, letting me know he was here.
He placed gentle kisses over my face, soothing away all the pain.
“Alessio,” I whispered brokenly. “I remember, Alessio.”
His arms tightened around my waist. His lips pressed against my temple. “You remember?” he asked hoarsely.
I could hear the emotion in his voice. His hands were shaking on my hips, and I held him tighter. I nodded against his neck. “I remember everything.”
Alessio pulled away so he could stare at me. His eyes roamed over my face and then stared deep into my eyes. I saw the glassy look in his.
“You really remember?” he asked again, his soft voice caressing me.
When I nodded, Alessio crushed me to his chest. “Ayla. Fuck. I was worried. So scared. I thought…you would never…”
“You found me,” I hiccupped back a sob.
“I found you. I will always find you, Angel,” he agreed. I looked up, staring into his captivating blue eyes.
“Alessio, I’m not the traitor.”
His hand pressed against my lips, stopping my flow of words. “No. You are not. I know you aren’t. I never thought you were. I trusted you before, and I trust you now.”