by Lylah James
“I will tell Alessio that I forced you. He won’t say anything,” I tried to bargain.
The men parted to let me through. “Are you sure, Miss? This is not the place for you.”
“I’m sure,” I replied.
No, I wasn’t sure. I was scared of what I was about to see, but I knew I had to do this.
The door opened, and my heart hammered. I thought it skipped a beat because of how hard it pounded against my ribcage.
My hands trembled, but I clenched them into fists. I walked inside to see Alessio swiveling around, facing me in shock.
I flinched at the sight in front of me.
The first thing I noticed was how bloodied his clothes were. His hands had blood on them too.
The second thing I saw was Viktor, Nikolay, and Phoenix staring at me with wide eyes. They had blood on them too.
And the last thing…was Alberto.
He was strapped to a chair, his arms tied behind his back. His head hung low, his chin almost touching his chest.
He looked dead.
But I knew he wasn’t.
I could hear his labored breathing.
Blood was everywhere. The copper smell of blood in the room made me nauseous, and my stomach rolled painfully.
“Ayla,” Alessio breathed. He took a step toward me, and my lips wobbled, trying to keep the tears in.
“What…?” He shook his head, dropping his knife to the floor. My eyes followed it. There was blood on the blade too. Actually, the whole knife was covered in blood.
My eyes went to Alessio’s hand. The same hand that held me gently and loved me.
I should have been scared, but I wasn’t.
Because I knew these hands would keep me safe. They were bloodied for me.
I looked at Alberto again.
He moved slightly. The Devil raised his head with great difficulty.
And when his eyes met mine, my heart found its way to my throat. It felt like sharp knives were piercing me. His stare made me sick.
This man broke me. Humiliated me in the worst way possible. He was my nightmare for so many years. The Devil in my life.
I quaked as I kept my eyes on him. He represented every ugliness in my life.
I wanted to sink to the floor. I wanted so sink and sink into a pit of darkness. To shut out everything. Every pain. Every hurt the Devil caused me.
I wanted to fade away into nothingness.
I didn’t want to feel. My legs felt numb, and my whole body felt heavy.
It hurt so much. Everything hurt.
In front of me, I saw the Devil. But I also saw every painful memory.
Every rape. Every sinister laugh. All the torture I went through. I remembered being shackled to the wall, being fed, beaten, and then raped.
I remembered the years he let his men take me over and over again until I would fade in and out of blackness. Until I would feel nothing but pain.
I saw everything. I felt everything.
The agony made me dizzy.
All those emotions that were dormant inside of me, they all erupted.
Fury, disgust, sadness, pain. They coursed through me, fueling something deep inside of me. Something I didn’t even realized I was capable of.
Without thinking, I lunged forward. Alessio reared back in shock when I grabbed his gun.
I held the gun in my hand and pointed it at Alberto.
I saw Viktor moving forward, but Alessio stopped him with a raise of his hand.
My hands trembled around the gun, but my grasp never slipped. I just had to pull the trigger.
I wanted him to hurt, just like he hurt me.
My eyes moved back to Alessio for a second. His gaze was already on me. He looked shocked but proud.
When I saw him smile, I relaxed.
It wasn’t a sweet smile. No, it was a smile filled with promises of darkness. A sadistic smile.
“You want to shoot him?” Alessio asked, walking toward me. His steps were deliberately slow. He looked powerful and ruthless. Alessio Ivanshov looked like the King he truly was.
He appeared like the very monster he was described as. The monster everyone feared.
I nodded my head, keeping my eyes on Alberto.
Alessio stopped beside me. “You really want to do this?”
I nodded again.
I wanted to shoot him. But now that the gun was in my hand, I couldn’t move.
I froze, my throat closing up, tears streaming down my cheeks.
“Viktor,” Alessio growled. Viktor looked at Alessio before nodding. He untied Alberto and hoisted him off the chair.
Viktor held him by the nape and dragged him across the floor toward me. Wiping the tears away, I felt a sudden fear rake through me.
Viktor kicked Alberto’s leg, making him kneel in front of me. I stiffened, taking a step back. My back hit a chest, and I knew it was Alessio.
When did he move behind me?
I sucked in a breath and held the gun tighter. My finger feathered against the trigger, but I couldn’t do it.
“Angel, you don’t have to do this,” Alessio whispered in my ears.
I shook my head wildly.
“No,” I replied brokenly. “I want…to…”
He swore under his breath. “I’m letting you do this only because you want to. Only one shot, Ayla. That’s it.”
My gut clenched as I stared at the Devil kneeling in front of me. I held the power, yet I couldn’t do it.
“Alessio…” I begged.
He sighed and wrapped his hand around mine. We held the gun together. “I’ll help you, Angel.”
His voice was gruff in my ears, almost impatient but filled with so much pride.
The gun was pointed at Alberto’s kneecap. “One bullet, Angel. But don’t kill him. I’m not done with him yet.”
When I didn’t move, Alessio urged me. “Go ahead.”
Our fingers latched onto the trigger.
Bang!
My ears rang, and I winced, closing my eyes.
Alberto screamed so loud it echoed around the chamber. My heart leaped, and my breathing came out harsher.
His scream of agony kept on going. When I opened my eyes, I saw him writhing on the floor. Blood was everywhere, even on my dress.
Before I knew what was happening, Alessio was in front of me. The gun was taken out of my hand, and I was being pushed back.
Alessio put his arms around me. I buried my face in his chest. Alberto was still screaming as Alessio half-carried me out of the basement.
The door closed with a bang, and I flinched. It sounded so much like the gunshot.
I shivered from cold and pain. So much pain.
I didn’t think the pain would ever end.
I cried in Alessio’s chest. He smelled of blood. He was covered with it.
But I was covered with it, too.
The thought made me gag, and I pushed away from Alessio.
I just shot another person.
How…?
My baby moved, and I felt a hard kick. My princess.
Alessio pulled me into his chest again. “Don’t pull away from me, Angel.”
“I hurt him,” I whispered. “I hurt him, Alessio.”
“I know. You were so brave in there. So beautiful. Like an avenging Angel,” he whispered. “I’m in awe and so fucking proud of you.”
I felt light-headed and sagged against Alessio, all energy deserting me.
“I never wanted you to see him like this. I know you want to kill him, Angel. But you won’t be able to live with it,” Alessio said, his voice low but filled with understanding.
“Killing someone is never easy. It will haunt you forever. Your hands will always be tainted with his blood. I know you. Even though he deserves it, you won’t be able to live with the fact you took another’s person life,” he continued.
I hiccupped back a sob and held him tighter. He understood me. Of course he understood me. Alessio could read me like an open book.
> Sometimes I felt like he knew me better than I knew myself.
“I don’t want you to dirty your hands as long as I am alive. Let me do this.” Alessio paused and palmed my cheeks. He tilted my head up, staring into my eyes.
“Let me be your monster. Let me kill for you, Angel.”
I nodded silently. Bringing our lips together, we kissed. Softly and gently. A contrast of what was happening around us.
Pulling away, I placed my hand over his beating heart. It matched the rhythm of my own. We breathed together, our eyes never leaving each other.
“Make him pay, Alessio. I want him to hurt…like he hurt me,” I whispered. “Does that make me a bad person? For me to wish death upon someone else?”
Alessio shook his head. “Never. He deserves everything he got and will get. By the time I’m done with him, he won’t even be able to beg for his death.”
I wiped my tears away. “I just want to be safe from him. I want our princess to be safe from him.”
“He will never hurt you again,” Alessio promised. We kissed again, our tongues dancing together. Alessio deepened the kiss, and I held him tighter.
Princess landed a hard kick to my side, and Alessio pulled away, looking down at my stomach. “Damn, that was a hard kick. Is she practicing in there?”
“You felt that?”
He nodded, rubbing the bump. “Go upstairs and take a hot shower. I will come for you at night. Wait for me in the piano room,” Alessio demanded, his eyes softening just the slightest bit.
His face wasn’t soft or gentle. My sweet lover was gone. In his place was a man filled with vengeance and the need to kill.
I had learned to love this side of Alessio too.
And now I would patiently wait for my sweet lover to come back.
In the meantime, I would let him wreak havoc.
I placed another kiss on his lips. “Do your worst, Alessio.”
Chapter 20
My back was aching as I walked up the stairs. Even the soles of my feet were aching. And I barely did anything today. Nobody would let me do anything. I wasn’t allowed to leave the bed or the couch.
I sighed, my shoulders dropping. I was bored, and I missed Alessio.
Eighteen hours without him.
The last time I saw him was the night before, when I played the piano for him. After that, we went to sleep.
But I woke up without him, his side of the bed cold. Like he wasn’t even there.
He must have left as soon as I fell asleep.
I didn’t even catch a glimpse of him, and it was already night. His whole day was spent in the basement. I tried not to think about that.
I acted as if he was out, dealing with some other kind of business.
Just not that type of business. The one I knew he was dealing with right now.
I still shuddered when I thought about what I did to Alberto. It might have been only one bullet, but his screams still resonated through my ears.
All the pain he was going through at the moment at the hands of Alessio was almost unthinkable.
The thought of it should have been revolting. Even if it scared me, I didn’t feel bad. He deserved it. After everything he had done, Alberto deserved it.
His end was here.
When I reached the landing, I paused, taking a deep breath. Rubbing my aching back, I made my way to the piano room.
“Phoenix, it’s okay. You can go now. Alessio will be here soon,” I said when I reached the door.
“Boss said—” I cut him off with a shake of my head.
“I know what he said. But it’s only for a few minutes. Please go and take some rest. You must be tired,” I said, sending him a smile.
Phoenix shook his head. “I’m sorry, but you are not to be left alone. It’s a strict order from Boss, and I have been assigned as your bodyguard for the moment.”
A frustrated sound came from my throat. It had been like this since Alberto was captured and Alessio spent most of his time in the basement.
I was followed everywhere. If it wasn’t Phoenix, then it was either Viktor or Nikolay.
They were always behind me, keeping an eye.
“Alessio will be here any moment now,” I tried to reason with him. There was an uneasy feeling inside of me, having the men always following me around.
“I will leave when he gets here and you are in his protection.” Phoenix placed his hands behind his back, his legs widening in a protective stance. His face was expressionless. In that moment, he reminded me of Nikolay.
They were related after all, and the resemblance was there. Especially when Phoenix was serious in a matter.
“Stubborn men,” I muttered under my breath.
“His mind will be at ease if he knows you’re safe and under our watch. Grant him this wish, Ayla.”
My shoulders dropping in defeat, I sighed. I understood his point, but it didn’t mean I agreed. I had a strange feeling inside me, my chest feeling impossibly tight at the thought of these men protecting me.
It was almost like they didn’t care about their own lives. It was always about…me. My safety. My needs.
It saddened me to think they might care less about themselves.
Phoenix must have noticed my change of emotion because he sent me a kind smile. “You are carrying our future, Ayla. I don’t know if you understand this, but this baby will continue the Ivanshov’s legacy. Your protection and her protection are our first priority. We don’t protect you only under Boss’s order. We protect you because we want to.”
Everything he said made sense. “I understand,” I murmured, my eyes going to the staircase.
I felt him before I even saw him. His presence already made my heart beat faster. My stomach fluttered, and I felt giddy. Was that what they called butterflies? I felt it every time I thought of Alessio or saw him. Even at the mention of his name.
When I finally saw him, my lips stretched in a smile. Like my body wasn’t my own anymore, I glided toward him. He opened his arms for me, and I curled into his embrace. Alessio had this effect on me.
The pull I felt toward him was too strong to fight. And I didn’t want to fight it. Instead, I wanted to bask in his presence and live in him.
“You can leave,” Alessio said, his voice hard and grating to my ears. My eyes snapped open, my arms tightening around his waist.
“Boss.” Phoenix acknowledged his Boss’s order with a nod and walked away, but not before slightly bowing in our direction.
I stared up at Alessio to see his face emotionless. That was when I noticed the dark aura around us, the air feeling chilled. His face was hard, his eyes gleaming dangerously. There was a sense of viciousness around him.
When he looked down at me, his eyes meeting my own, his expression didn’t change. His head descended until our lips were inches apart. Our lips met in a breathy kiss. It started slowly before he pressed his lips harder to mine, demanding access.
My lips parted, his tongue sliding against the seams of my lips before meeting my own. I moaned into his kiss, standing on my toes, wanting to be closer to him.
When he finally pulled away, I felt breathless and was left wanting more. I felt flushed as I looked up at him.
My heart sank when I saw his eyes. They held no emotions.
My gentle lover was still missing. The realization pierced my heart.
I missed him, and I wanted him back.
But I knew he wouldn’t be back until Alberto was dead. This was a side of him that I had to grow accustomed to. He was, after all, a killer. The Pakhan. A ruthless and heartless one at that.
I sighed and grabbed his hand, entwining our fingers together. His gaze stayed on my face. This was something that would never change.
His attention. When he was with me, I had all this attention. When we were in the same room, his eyes were on me. Always.
“C’mon. I want to play for you,” I said, pulling him into the piano room.
Alessio took his place on the couch while I
made my way to the piano.
Princess moved around, almost eagerly, as I placed my hand over the piano keys. When I started to play, the melody came through, a soft wave cocooning us. The little one almost instantly settled down.
My eyes went to Alessio, and I saw him relaxed in his seat too. His eyes never left mine, and I reveled in the fact that I had all his attention.
He was mine…and I was his. We were one.
After the first song, I paused. The baby kicked, and a small laugh bubbled out from me. “You like hearing me play?” I whispered, my hand caressing over the bump.
Another kick. A hard one at that.
I played another song, and her movements paused again.
Just like her papa, I thought as I played a third song.
When I was done, I made my way to Alessio. He pulled me into his lap, his arms going around me.
Placing my head over his shoulders, I relaxed in his embrace, letting him hold me. He buried his face in my neck, and I felt him breathe in my scent. His lips pressed against my neck, a soft kiss that made me shiver.
“I missed you,” I whispered. Alessio didn’t reply.
I looked up and palmed his cheeks. That was when I noticed that his hair was wet. I didn’t pay attention before, but he was only wearing a black dress shirt and black slacks.
There was no blood on them.
In fact, he smelled clean.
Did he shower before he came to meet me?
I caressed my thumb over his cheek, feeling the rough stubble under the pad of my fingers. Of course he showered. Not for himself. But for me.
After some time, Alessio stood up, still holding me in his arms.
“Will you sleep?” Before I could stop myself, the question was already asked. I knew the answer, but I still hoped.
His steps paused for a second before he continued to our room. Alessio placed me under the comforter before crawling in bed behind me. Pulling me into his arms, he laid out a simple command.
“Sleep, Angel.”
My eyes closed, and safe in Alessio’s arms, I felt asleep. Our baby eventually settled down too.
I felt him shift beside me. With my mind hazy with sleep, I felt Alessio getting out of bed.
I wanted to call out to him, tell him to stay, but sleep was dragging me under. My eyes stayed closed, and my mind drifted off.