by Teegan Loy
When we were setting up the tables and chairs, I caught Carrie staring at Julian’s photo.
“It was so long ago, yet I can remember it like it was yesterday.” She cleared her throat and swiped at her eyes. “I’ve turned into a big softy. My kids wouldn’t recognize me.”
Before I could offer comfort, she strode away, barking orders at anyone who came near her.
The day was long and the work tiring. Incredibly pleased with everyone, Josie took us all out for a late dinner at the drive-in. The topic of the evening with all the restaurant patrons was the party at the pavilion. Everyone was genuinely excited. Carrie looked worn out and nervous and finally demanded to be taken home.
Later that evening, Jamie found me relaxing on the dock, listening to the lonesome calls of the loons.
“Can I sit?” he asked.
“Sure.”
He took the chair next to me and moved it closer so his knee rested against my leg.
“Carrie said you know her story.”
“I do.”
“She said you’d explain it to me.”
I laid my head back and stared up at the darkening sky. “Let’s go inside.”
I stood and held my hand out for him to take. He slipped his fingers through mine and allowed me to lead him up the hill and into the house. We sat on the couch and got comfortable, which meant he snuggled close to me. When I thought back to the last four years, we did this a lot. I missed it, so I allowed myself to enjoy his closeness while I told him the story of Carrie and Julian.
I don’t remember ending the story, but I was warm and very comfortable when someone woke me by poking my arm repeatedly.
“Kellen, wake up.”
“Carrie?” I grumbled and tried to roll over, only to discover I was on the couch and there was no room to roll.
“I’d like to go on a boat ride,” she said.
“Wha?”
When I realized she was in my house, I yanked the blanket up around my neck. “What are you doing here?”
Jamie grunted and told us both to shut up. When he moved, he almost sent me sprawling onto the floor.
“I want to go on the lake before the day starts,” Carrie repeated.
I rubbed my eyes and she slowly came into focus. Her hair was styled and she was wearing a bright floral skirt with a soft blue blouse and a lightweight white sweater.
“You look nice,” I said.
“I look like I’m going to church.”
“I can’t tell if that’s a bad thing or a good thing?”
“I’m not sure either.” She was clearly nervous.
“If you really want to go, could you please make me a cup of coffee and let me get dressed? Once I get a shot of caffeine, I’ll take you for a boat ride.”
She looked like she needed something familiar to do.
The noise woke Jamie enough that he sat up, groaning as he stretched and cracked his back. I couldn’t help staring at his bare chest and the shift of his muscles as he moved. When he stood, I could make out the outline of his dick. It made my stomach flip and my mouth water.
“Coffee’s almost ready,” Carrie said.
Jamie startled and busted me staring at him. He walked by me and brushed his hand over the swell of my ass.
“I’ll call Stef and get things going while you two take a morning cruise. Carrie looks a little stressed,” Jamie said.
“Thanks, I appreciate it,” I said.
I disappeared into my room for a quick shower. Ten minutes later I was presentable. Carrie handed me a donut and a cup of coffee and yelled at Jamie that we were leaving.
“Shall we?” I said and let her loop her arm through mine.
The sun was just above the horizon, making the water glow. The call of the loons echoed through the morning air, bringing forth a feeling of melancholy and longing for the summer to be only just beginning. Instead, it was coming to an end, along with my life as I knew it. Soon I’d be standing in front of a room filled with high school students, pretending I had everything under control. The only bright spot was yesterday had given me a sliver of hope with Jamie.
But now was not the time for me; I was going to be supporting Carrie today. I couldn’t decide if I wanted Julian to show up or not. Either way, I was going to be next to her. Sometimes it was nice to take a step back from my problems to help out a friend.
She sat down at the back of the boat and signaled for me to go. We took a nice, leisurely drive around the lake. Carrie said nothing, only stared at the gorgeous sunrise and enjoyed the warmth of the morning sun hitting her face. Her blue hair sparkled, and I caught a glimpse of the beautiful girl hidden under age.
With a partial loop of the lake complete, she sent me back to the dock and allowed me to park the boat. I sat patiently waiting for her to make the first move.
“I’m nervous. I don’t like not knowing what’s going to happen,” she said.
“It’s going to be fine,” I said. “We’ll all be there for you, and if you don’t want to see him, we’ll leave.”
She closed her eyes, chewed on her bottom lip, and then took several deep breaths. I waited until she held out her hand for me to help her onto the dock.
“This is ridiculous. I’m ridiculous. Even if he shows up, he might not remember me. Let’s get this party started.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell her there was absolutely no way Julian wouldn’t remember her. She wasn’t the sort of person who was easy to forget.
The pavilion was already bustling with people. At first, Carrie sat in the car, refusing to move. As the clock ticked, I wondered if she was ever going to leave the safety of the front seat. Barbie solved the problem nicely by banging on the window of the car and shouting about how she needed help because she was being overrun. People were asking about the fresh donuts and we weren’t scheduled to open for another twenty minutes. Josie pleaded her case as well, telling Carrie she needed her guidance.
Carrie flipped us all off and Barbie shooed everyone away. She forced open the door and whispered something to Carrie. A red flush flooded her cheeks and she straightened her skirt before allowing Barbie to take her hand and lead her into the building.
I took the opportunity to scan the crowd that had gathered on the porch of the building, waiting anxiously for the doors to open.
I spotted Stef hovering at the edge of a group of younger people. Jamie was talking animatedly with a curvy woman with orange streaks in her blonde hair. The woman was smiling broadly, and a twinge of jealousy overtook me. I almost turned back to go hide in the car, but Stef shouted at me. I steeled my jaw and told myself today was about Carrie.
“Barbie wants us inside to finish hanging the signs and to set up the cash box. She’s corralled Josie and has settled her down too.”
“Yeah, okay,” I said, still staring at Jamie.
“Jamie,” Stef shouted.
Jamie turned his head and gave the blonde the brushoff as he came bounding over to us.
“What’s up?” he asked.
“We need your help,” Stef said.
“I’m at your command.” He bowed and kissed her knuckles. She yanked her hand back and slapped at him. They raced into the building, laughing, while I leaned against the railing and sighed. A few seconds later, Jamie poked his head out the door and shouted for me to get inside.
“Yeah, I’m coming,” I said.
To make sure I got the message, he grabbed my arm and hauled me up the stairs. The warmth from his touch ignited my blood, and suddenly I was flushed.
Carrie eyed me. “Have you been drinking?”
I squirmed away from Jamie and scowled at her. “No.”
“That’s too bad. I could use a belt,” Carrie said.
“No one is drinking until later,” Barbie scolded. “Now let’s get this place finished and ready to go. The band is here and starting to set up. After the bake sale, we’ll clear everything away and make room for some socializing and dancing.”
“Too bad
we can’t skate,” Carrie said.
“You’d probably break a hip,” Barbie said.
Carrie stuck her tongue out and then barked a few more orders. In less than ten minutes, we were opening the door and selling baked goods that would benefit the upkeep of the pavilion. As we sold stuff, more residents dropped off food.
Several times Stef elbowed me, reminding me to keep my eyes open for Julian.
“Like I could forget,” I mumbled.
The morning hours passed and soon Carrie and Barbie disappeared into the kitchen to begin setting things up for the lunch. Several people were outside getting grills going to cook hamburgers and hotdogs. Even though I’d eaten my share of sweets, I was ready to have some lunch. Jamie was outside moving tables and setting up more chairs.
More people were gathering and it was getting harder to keep watch for Julian. Stef and I were closing up the last of the card tables as the band warmed up. The smell of cooking burgers wafted inside and my mouth watered.
“Are we almost done here?” I asked Carrie as she commanded me to push open the window to the kitchen. “I want a burger.”
“I need help filling the cartons with the salads before you can eat,” Barbie said. “And wash your hands first.”
She tossed me some gloves and we proceeded to fill little Styrofoam bowls with different salads. As I filled, Stef labeled the bowls.
We soon had a small mountain of food assembled. Jamie poked his head into the kitchen. “First round of burgers is ready,” he said.
Stef and I stared at Carrie. “Okay, go get something to eat,” she said.
Just as I was about to order my burger, Stef punched me in the arm.
“What was that for— Oh my god.” My mouth dropped open.
“What’s going on?” Jamie asked.
“It’s Julian,” Stef said. “I know it.”
The man had a full head of salt-and-pepper hair and a matching goatee. He’d obviously taken good care of himself over the years. He lowered his sunglasses and looked at us.
“Is that Julia with him?” Jamie asked. “I thought you said they didn’t know each other.”
We all stared, open-mouthed, as Julia waved at us, heading in our direction. Soon Julia and Julian were standing in front of us, and the only thing we were able to do was nod when she introduced us.
“Where’s my mom?” Julia asked.
“Uh, inside,” Jamie said.
I thought about blocking her path, telling her Carrie wasn’t around or some other white lie so I could be the first to break the news of Julian’s arrival and her daughter’s apparent knowledge of her biological father.
“You knew, didn’t you,” Julia said.
“Yes, but we had no idea that you knew,” I said. “I’m positive your mom doesn’t know you know.”
She sighed and gripped Julian’s arm. “My mom would never talk about it. When my dad died, I wanted to know more about my past, and I wanted my kids to know where I came from. It took a few years, but I finally found him. I tried to tell her, but she’d get so upset when I brought him up that it was easier not to discuss it.”
“Maybe this isn’t a good idea,” Julian said.
“No, it’s time,” I said. “She knows you’re coming.”
“It might be a good idea if you talked to your mother first,” Julian said to Julia.
We stood outside, arguing who should do what, but it was all for nothing because Carrie opened the door and saw us. Her gaze flicked from her daughter to Julian to me to Jamie to Stef and back around again. She staggered, and Jamie bounded up the steps and wrapped his arms around her to keep her from falling. It took Carrie a few minutes to compose herself, but she finally stood tall and squeezed Jamie’s hand. He stepped away from her and walked down the steps to come stand with us.
Carrie and Julian were about ten feet apart, but nobody was doing anything. Julia was the first to move, walking up to her mother and enveloping her in a tight hug, whispering what we could only imagine was an explanation.
When Julia stepped away from her mom, she reached for Julian’s hand and pulled him closer. Years seemed to drop away from Carrie’s face as she gazed at the man she had loved as a teen. Within seconds, he embraced her and she melted into his touch.
I sighed and Stef leaned against me, dabbing at her eyes. The door swung open and startled everyone. “I need help,” Barbie said. “Oh my.”
“Hi, Barbie,” Julia said.
“Hello,” Barbie said cautiously.
“C’mon, Mom needs some time with Julian. I’ll help you.” Julia steered a stunned Barbie back inside the pavilion kitchen.
The rest of us stood statue-still as we watched Julian lead Carrie to an open picnic table. It was difficult to leave Carrie, but when she caught me staring, she smiled. Stef pulled my sleeve and dragged me into the kitchen.
“Wow,” Stef said as she handed me another pair of gloves so we could serve food.
Barbie put us to work, but every so often, I leaned out the back door to check on Carrie. And I wasn’t the only one. Finally, Barbie dismissed us to go eat. Jamie plated our salads, grabbed us drinks, and carried everything outside so we could get our burgers. Carrie and Julian were still talking but sitting much closer.
“Quit staring,” Stef said.
“I can’t help it. She looks happy. She was so freaked out this morning,” I said.
We inhaled our food and finally talked Barbie and Josie into sitting down.
Music floated out of the pavilion, and suddenly Julian whisked Carrie inside. We abandoned our lunch so we could watch the drama unfold. It was like being in the audience of a live-action soap opera. We leaned against the wall and gave a collective sigh when Julian took Carrie in his arms and whispered something, making her eyes fill with tears. He touched her cheek and smiled, then embraced her tightly as they swayed to the music.
“Oh my,” Barbie whispered as she and Stef came to stand by us.
“God, I love a happy ending,” Stef said.
A woman came up to Jamie and asked him to dance. He greeted her with a hug and allowed her to lead him to the dance floor. Stef caught my eye, and suddenly my emotions rolled over me like a giant boulder crashing down the side of a mountain.
If I didn’t take the chance to tell Jamie how I felt, it could be us meeting somewhere in fifty years. And after a lifetime with other people, I’d finally confess my love for him. I felt light-headed and my knees almost buckled.
“Kellen?” Stef squeezed my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head and watched Jamie whirl the girl around the dance floor. He caught me staring and stopped dancing. He thanked the woman and left her in the middle of the song.
“Kellen? What’s wrong? You don’t look so good.” He touched my cheek with the back of his hand like he was checking for fever.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“For what?”
“For everything. For being a jerk this summer and not telling you why I was so unhappy.” I swallowed and took a deep breath. I could feel Stef and Barbie staring at me. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”
“Sure,” Jamie agreed.
We both took one last look at Carrie and Julian dancing before heading toward the door. Stef and Barbie were giving me the thumbs-up sign and grinning like lunatics. I rolled my eyes— again. I’d rolled my eyes more this summer than I’d ever done in my entire life.
Jamie found a table away from all the activity and sat down. It would’ve been better to go somewhere a little more private but this was a beginning. He smiled and I fiddled with the hem of my shirt, wondering exactly how to tell him my secret.
“Kell?”
“Er, I got a job,” I blurted.
A squirrel chattered loudly, and I felt like it was scolding me for being an idiot. We both looked up into the limbs of the tree, but the animal was hidden in the branches.
Jamie fired several questions. “Yeah? Is it teaching? What grade? Where?”
I thumped my head with my hand. “That’s not what I want to talk to you about.”
He cocked his head as the squirrel let loose another loud scolding.
“It’s—” I abruptly stood, almost falling back over the bench. “Can we walk?”
“Jeesh, what’s going on with you? You’ve always been able to talk to me. Did you get a job or what?”
“Yeah, I got a job, but I’ll tell you about it later,” I mumbled.
He frowned but followed me as I walked toward the gravel road, kicking stones and weaving through parked cars and people who were still arriving for the party. They greeted us, stopping to say hello and asking if we were leaving. Jamie told everyone Carrie, Josie, and Barbie had been working us so hard we needed to take a short break, but we’d definitely return. He wasn’t about to miss the cupcakes. A couple of times he went into deep detail about the chocolate flavor and the icing.
“I had to wrestle the bowl away from Stef. It was awesome.” He smacked his lips and I fixated on the shape of his mouth.
We finally escaped the people, so Jamie stopped and picked a dandelion, twirled it between his fingers, and leaned against a tree. “Are you going to tell me what’s up?”
I looked at the blue sky and took a deep breath, but the words stayed in my throat.
“God,” I mumbled. “Uh . . .” I stared at the clouds and felt ridiculous.
“Kell, you’re scaring me.”
Again, a squirrel made a racket.
“Do you think it’s following us?” Jamie asked.
“Who?”
“The squirrel.”
“It probably thinks I’m a moron.” I hung my head.
“Why?”
I blinked a few times and then closed my eyes while thoughts of Carrie and her lost love floated through my head.
“Kell, what the hell is going on with you?”
The fear in his voice jolted me into action. I clenched my jaw and decided it was now or never or perhaps in fifty years. I opened my eyes and, without thinking about consequences, kissed Jamie.
When he didn’t shove me away, I kept going, pressing my body against his and deepening the kiss. Someone whistled and I came to my senses, slowly backing away.