by Rye Hart
I knew it was absurd, but in the short amount of time I'd known her, I felt an attachment developing to her. There was some sort of connection between us that I couldn't even begin to explain. But having sex with her only seemed to cement that feeling in my mind.
We barely knew each other, and yet our bodies understood one another perfectly.
She was a stunner, to be sure. But more than that, there was a sincerity, openness, and intelligence in her that absolutely drew me to her. Not to mention a fierceness and a fire in her spirit that was incredibly appealing to me. Grace was absolutely the whole package. But as I looked at the dark outline of her body in the bed and listened to the steadiness of her breathing, I knew it was just a pipe dream. Yeah, she'd fucked me, but there was no way in hell a high-class woman like her would ever be with somebody like me. We would never have a serious relationship.
For her, this was probably just an experiment, a way to maybe blow off some steam all of the stress and pressure of Liam's abduction caused her. She probably felt safe having sex with me because it was a one-time thing and she was exploring some of those fantasies she harbored and repressed so deep inside.
Not to mention the fact that once this was all over, once we got Liam back, she'd be heading back to Charlotte and her white-picket fence world. She wouldn't give me or Blackburn, Tennessee, a second thought.
It was stupid to let myself feel anything resembling attachment to her because it was only going to end up badly for me.
I sighed softly and slipped out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind me and headed out to the clubhouse bar. Pink Floyd played on the speakers and there were a dozen of my guys all sitting around, drinking beers, and laughing with one another. I glanced at my watch and saw that it was almost ten – just a couple of hours until the meet.
I grabbed a beer from the bar and sat down next to Dean as the guys started hooting and hollering at me. I turned around and gave them an expression and a gesture that said, “what?”
“Don't even tell me you didn't tap that hot piece of ass,” Dean said.
I looked from the guys who were making lewd jokes about Grace to Dean, who had a smile on his face. Yeah, everybody obviously knew what happened in my room back there. At the time we were involved, I hadn't even given the guys in the clubhouse a second thought.
But now that they were throwing it back in my face and saying some things I thought were way out of line and inappropriate, I felt my anger starting to rise a little bit. For some reason, I suddenly felt defensive about Grace and felt the need to stand up for her.
I stood up and glared around the room. “Y'all can shut the fuck up now,” I shouted. “Jesus. Not everything I do is for your entertainment or gossip. You're all worse than a bunch of old women. And if any one of you says anything else about her, I'm going to personally whoop your ass. You got me?”
That only brought about another wave of laughter and lighthearted insults – at least this time, they were directed at me. I could deal with the slings and arrows; Grace didn't deserve them.
“You guys are a bunch of douchebags,” I said. “Just in case you didn't know.”
“We're well aware, boss,” Dean said. “And honestly, we don't give a shit.”
I punched him in the shoulder and laughed. These were my brothers. My family. I'd go to war for any of them. I'd lay down my life if need be. I hoped it would never come to that, obviously, but for my guys, I'd do anything. I always had their back – just as I knew they had mine.
The insults and jokes at my expense died down as the guys found some other topic to discuss. I settled down at the bar and slowly sipped my beer. Dean settled alongside me and looked me over thoughtfully. “You like this one?” Dean asked and took a long pull of his beer.
I looked at him and gave him a lopsided grin. “Why would you ask me that?”
Dean shrugged. “You just seem a little bit different.”
“What in the hell are you talking about?”
“Kid, how long have I known you?”
I tilted my head and thought about it. I'd known Dean a long time. My dad had been President of the Outlaws for a while, so I'd grown up in the life. Which meant I'd known Dean for most of it. He was a good man and a very valuable ally to have by my side. I couldn't function half as well as I did without him.
“Twenty? Twenty-five years, I guess?” I replied.
“Right,” he said. “And I've seen you nail plenty of broads in that time. And in all those years, and all that ass, I ain't never seen you float around here on a cloud of fuckin' rainbows and sunshine like you are right now.”
“Shut the fuck up,” I said and laughed.
“I'm serious, kid,” he said. “You have like this fuckin' glow about you that I can't explain.”
I scoffed. “A glow. Right.”
“Laugh if you want, but it's true,” he said. “And I ain't never seen you take up for a broad to the guys like you did for Little Miss Sunshine back there.”
I shrugged and tried to play it off. “Even if I did feel differently about her, it's pointless,” I said. “She's going back to Charlotte soon enough and this will all be over.”
Dean looked at me for a long moment, a small grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You sure about that?”
“Yeah, I'm sure,” I said. “She's going back to her world and leaving us to ours.”
“Yeah, maybe so,” he said.
I had been hoping he'd say something different – like he thought things between Grace and I could work out. I'd hoped he'd encourage me to pursue her. I'd hoped for – something. And when he didn't give it to me, I felt a little bit disappointed.
But still, I was right. Letting myself get attached would be stupid.
“So, when are we rollin'?” Dean asked.
“We?”
“Yeah, we,” he said. “As in you, me, and the boys?”
“We, are not rollin',” I replied. “I am rollin'.”
“The fuck you are,” he said. “You really think we're going to let you walk into a trap by yourself? The Dawgs want nothing more than to string you up by your balls, kid. We ain't gonna let that happen.”
“You don't have a choice, man,” I said. “They got my nephew. I'm not gonna put the rest of you in the crossfire.”
Dean stood up and banged his bottle on the bar. “Cut the music. Now.”
The music cut off instantly and all conversation died as all eyes turned to us. I knew what was about to happen and I needed to head it off before it did. The last thing I wanted or needed in that moment was for that snowball to get rolling.
“Dean,” I said. “Sit down and cut that shit out.”
He looked at me and smirked. “Like hell I will,” he said and turned to the rest of the guys in the room. “I need a show of hands, boys. Who's in for this little rescue mission tonight?”
Everybody's hand shot straight up without hesitation. Dean nodded and motioned for them to put their hands down, which they did.
“Dean,” I whispered. “It's not that easy.”
“Need to see another show of hands,” he called out. “Knowing that the Dawgs are on the other end of this and some shit is going to go down, and knowing that things could get really hairy out there, how many people are in?”
Once again, all hands went up without hesitation. Dean turned and looked at me, giving me a grin and a shrug.
“Ain't democracy beautiful?” he said.
“This isn't a democracy,” I said.
“No? Then tell them.”
Clearing my throat, I stood up and took a long pull of my beer, trying to pick my words carefully.
“Listen,” I said. “I appreciate you guys willing to put yourselves in harm’s way for me. And for my nephew. But I can't ask you to do that. I can't ask you to risk your own lives for me. This is my problem and I'm going to handle it.”
“You're not askin',” Burt said as he got to his feet. “We're tellin' you that we're comin' along.”
/> I shook my head. “No, man. I can't –”
“You remember last year when I got into that thing with a couple of the Diablos?” Burt asked.
“Yeah, I remember,” I said.
“You jumped into the middle of that shit without hesitating,” Burt said. “No regard for your own life. You did what you did to have my back, man. So, there's no way in hell I'm letting you go out there without some cover.”
“I appreciate that, Burt, but –”
“Kid, you've risked your ass for each and every one of us in this room,” Dean said. “Some of us – hell, most of us – more than once. You never asked, you never thought about yourself, you just acted and pulled our asses out of the fire.”
Everybody at the tables nodded in agreement, some of them vocalizing it.
“Whether you like it or not, we're comin',” Burt said. “We're family. And family always has each other's backs.”
The other men in the room banged their bottles on the table, nodding their agreement. There was no way I was getting out of it. They were coming.
“I appreciate that, guys,” I said. “So, if we're going to do this, we're going to have to be smart about it. He told me to come alone, so if Merle sees us all rolling up, it could go really badly for the kid.”
“Okay, then we take the vans,” Dean said.
I sighed. “No way I'm going to talk any of you out of it, huh?”
“You have a better chance of being elected President,” Dean said.
I looked around the room and felt a fierce pride in all of them. These truly were my brothers. My family.
“Okay then, time's running short, so let's come up with a plan,” I said and took a long pull of my beer.
Chapter Eight
Grace
Standing out of sight in the hallway, I listened to the men talking about Knox and all he'd done for them. I heard the fierce loyalty in their voices – they absolutely loved him. I could tell by their words and the way they spoke that they would follow him to the depths of hell and back again if he asked.
But Knox wasn't the type to ask. He was the type of man who would always be there for everybody else, but would never burden anybody with his problems. He'd never ask anybody to risk themselves on his behalf – even though, he obviously had no issue risking himself on theirs.
Listening to his guys talk to and about him only reinforced the ideas already in my head about him. I knew I'd been right about Knox. I knew that underneath all the tattoos and that rough exterior, that he was a good man with a good heart.
Not to mention the fact that he was utterly amazing in bed. I'd never been with somebody like him before, somebody who knew all the right buttons to press and seemed as invested in my pleasure as in his own.
To look at Knox, most people wouldn't be able to get over the fact that he was a biker. That was a shame, because he was so much more than that. There was a depth to him that was as fascinating as it was compelling. I felt drawn to Knox in a way I'd never felt drawn to somebody before in my entire life.
It was ridiculous. We barely knew each other. And I had no doubt that he didn't feel the same way. I was sure that to him, I was just another conquest, just another face in what I was sure was an endless parade of women in and out of his bed. I doubted that Knox had trouble getting sex whenever he wanted it.
As good as his heart was though, he didn't strike me as the kind of man who was interested in anything long term. With anybody. But I didn't sleep with him under the expectation of having a relationship with him. I'd slept with him because I'd wanted to.
The man just got under my skin in ways I never even conceived were possible. And as I watched him with his guys, I realized that I wanted more. That I wanted – him. Yeah, I wanted him to take Liam, but the realization that I wanted to be a part of both of their lives long after this whole episode was over hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks.
I also knew there was no way in hell it was going to happen. I was all but certain that once this was over, once we'd gotten Liam back safe and sound, that he'd send me on my way and settle back into his life there in Blackburn. It would be like none of this had ever happened. I was relatively certain that in a week's time, maybe two, that he wouldn't even remember my name. I'd simply be remembered as that one snooty chick he'd banged that one time.
I hated it, but it was also the reality of the situation.
Knox's life didn't allow for him to care for a kid – nephew or not. I could see that now. I could see that growing up around the Outlaws probably wasn't in his best interests. And as much as I'd like to think otherwise, I doubted that his life allowed him room for somebody like me.
That stark reality hit me in the gut hard, but it was one I was going to have to live with.
“Grace.”
I looked up and saw Knox staring at me, those dark, smoldering eyes seeming to bore into me. I gave him a small smile before walking over and joining him at the bar. I was keenly aware of the eyes on me as I crossed the room – and figured that most, if not all, of the guys sitting around knew that Knox and I had sex in the back room.
I'd expected catcalls or some form of humiliation – isn't that what guys did? Instead though, I was surprised to get smiles, nods, and even a few raised bottles in my direction. I wasn't quite sure what to make of it and all I could do was smile in return, feeling fifty shades of awkward.
When I sat down at the bar, the guy behind it slid a cup of coffee over to me. “It's not a pumpkin whatever you asked for, but it's hot and dark, so hopefully it'll do.”
“Thank you,” I said, giving him a smile of gratitude, not exactly sure why everybody was being so nice to me all of the sudden. “That's really kind of you.”
I picked the cup of coffee up and inhaled the aroma, surprised that it was rich and flavorful. I'd half-expected to smell something like freeze-dried or instant coffee. But, he'd apparently gone out while Knox and I were sleeping and found a nice blend to serve me.
“How long were you standing over there?” Knox asked me as he stared at his bottle of beer.
“Long enough to hear how much your guys love you,” I said.
“We're family.”
“In my line of work, I've seen more than my share of families who don't have the love, loyalty, and bond that you and the rest of these guys do.”
He turned to me and smiled. “I'm a lucky man,” I said. “I grew up with most of these guys.”
“Grew up with them?”
He nodded. “Yeah, my dad was actually club president back in the day,” he said. “Dean was his best friend. I grew up with the Outlaws. I could almost ride a hog before I could even walk. Earned my cut when I was seventeen.”
“I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds good?”
Knox laughed softly. “Yeah, I don't suppose you would,” he said. “Two different worlds, you and I.”
“Maybe,” I said, putting my hand over his and giving it a gentle squeeze. “But we certainly share quite an orbit.”
“That we do,” he said.
We stared at each other for a long moment and there seemed to be so many unspoken words hanging in the air between us. There was an air of expectation – but expectation of what? I saw so much in his eyes, so many things he wanted to say. And yet, he was hesitant to give voice to them.
But then again, so was I.
“So,” Dean said as stood between us and put an arm around both of our shoulders. “Are we really going to act like this is high school and not talk about the elephant in the room?”
I felt the heat rushing into my cheeks and looked away from Knox. For his part, Knox turned and looked at Dean, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
“And what is the elephant in the room?” he asked.
“That you two are obviously into each other,” he said. “A blind man could see that from a thousand yards away on a dark night.”
“Subtle,” Knox said. “Very subtle.”
Dean laughed. “Kid,
in all the years I've known you, when have you ever known me to be subtle?”
“Good point.”
“Well then,” Deal said. “How about you two clear the air between you and figure out where – and if – this thing between you is going to happen. Because, in case you didn't notice, it's getting late and we've got a job to do.”
Dean gave us both a pat on the back and then turned and walked away, laughing to himself. My heart was in my throat and it was thundering hard as the butterflies swirled around in my belly like a tornado. I couldn't meet Knox's eyes. I was absolutely embarrassed – mostly because I didn't want to admit the truth of the matter to him – that I really did want to see if there was anything between us. Knox watched Dean walk away and then turned to me, an awkward smile on his face. “That's Dean,” he said. “Blunt and to the point. Always been that way.”
I laughed and still couldn't meet his eyes. The silence between us stretched on, even more awkward than it had been before.
“Do you think he's right?” Knox finally broke the silence between us.
I cocked my head and looked at him. “What do you mean?”
“About us,” he said. “Is there something between us?”
The speed of my heart accelerated even further and I feared that if I didn't find a way to slow it down, it was going to explode in my chest. But I knew that if I did want this to go anywhere, I was going to have to speak up. Knox might not be the relationship kind of guy in the end, but I should at least let him know that I may be developing feelings – and then let him do with that as he pleased.
“I mean, it's crazy,” I said. “Given how little time we've actually know each other.”
“Crazy,” Knox said. “You're not wrong.”
I looked into his eyes – like really deep into them-- and was stunned by what I saw. Reflected back at me, were the same feelings I harbored for him.
Christ, we were acting like a couple of high school kids. I just shook my head and laughed – and then instantly regretted it when I saw the veil dropping over Knox's eyes again. I guess that my laughter had been misinterpreted and had hurt his feelings.