Jinx’s voice whispered to something she’d already known as it skittered along her back and tingled like a caress. She wanted to mount him on the warm grass, take him inside of her so deeply until she . . .
Howled.
She blinked as Jinx’s eyes shifted. They looked like the ones she saw in her dreams. “You’re not . . . human.”
“Neither are you, sweetheart,” he murmured before directing her to look in the small mirror he’d brought outside with them without her noticing.
She gasped. Had this ever happened in the hospital? In front of her parents? “Wolf.”
“All wolf. Dire wolf. This is just the form that allows you to pass in this world unnoticed. Although you’re too beautiful to be ignored.”
Everything that had happened to her since Jinx found her led to this moment.
Mentally ill versus wolf. She figured she hadn’t drawn the short end of the stick.
And if he’s lying?
He’s not, the rustling said.
“You’re hearing rustling. That’s your wolf talking to you. And your back—I’ll bet if I looked, I’d see bruises there, but you don’t remember falling or hurting yourself.”
She took a step back. “Maybe I am going through some kind of drug withdrawal.”
“I have a glyph of my wolf on my back.”
He pulled his shirt up and waited, standing patiently as she circled him. A wolf stared at her from Jinx’s back. It was the color of Jinx’s hair, a handsome, ferocious creature. It had Jinx’s eyes, only with an otherworldly light shining through them.
This was more than a tattoo. This looked . . . alive.
She thought back to the large pattern of bruising she’d seen on her body yesterday and tried to picture a similar creature on her skin.
“It will have your hair color. Sister Wolf will be as pretty as you are,” Jinx told her without turning around. He was talking low, as if speaking to some wild animal he was trying to tame.
Except she got the feeling that Jinx would never try to tame anything about her. “In the hospital—I had dreams about the wolves. I told the doctor that when I was a little girl, I used to dream about turning into a wolf and running away. She told me that was my unconscious ego—that I was too little to protect myself, so in my dreams I turned myself into something that no one could hurt.”
“Sometimes, a wolf is just a wolf,” Jinx told her.
She reached out and touched the glyph. It seemed to move under her fingers, like the way heat off a sidewalk steamed and made everything look hazy and fluid. “I’m not dreaming.”
“No.” This time, he did turn to face her. “There’s a lot more for you to know.”
“I’m not ready to hear it.” She moved forward, touched his chest, pulled him close to her by the belt loops on his jeans. She was all revved up. Needy. And Jinx’s erection pressing her belly told her he had the same needs.
At that moment, she realized how badly her body ached with need. She reached out to touch Jinx, palms flat against his chest for a long moment before she surprised herself by viciously ripping off his shirt.
“Holy Odin,” Jinx murmured. “Gillian . . .”
“You can’t stop me.”
“I don’t want to.”
She cocked her head, not quite believing that. She sensed apprehension, but not about sex. “What is it?”
He moved away from her, sat heavily on the double lounger. “If you knew what I’ve done. When you know . . . you’ll be ashamed to be with me. When you know what I can do—”
“You got me out of jail. You saved me. That’s all I need to know.”
“I wish it were that simple.”
“For tonight, it will be.” They were the last words she spoke before pushing him on his back and straddling him. He looked surprised, especially when she took his wrists and raised them above his head. “I feel like I need to tie you. Bind you.”
When her hand moved to curl around his throat, something changed in his eyes.
“No binding,” was all he said.
“Not this time,” she agreed and his face flushed. She noted he left his hands above his head though, and she liked that. Instead of stripping herself under the cool night air, she first moved so she could unzip his jeans. She got them all the way off so he was totally naked under her.
I can’t wait to see his wolf, the rustling said.
She’d had some experience with boys, but never with a man. Not like this. She let his long, thick cock rub against her wet sex. Took her shirt off, played with her nipples, never taking her eyes from his face.
“I want to touch you,” he told her, his voice a growl. She leaned forward, teasing him with her breasts near his face. He reached up and caught a nipple in his mouth, suckled as she groaned in pleasure at the contact. His cock seemed to swell under her and all she knew was that she needed him inside of her. Foreplay didn’t matter—she didn’t have the time, the patience for foreplay.
She wondered if this was what it was like to be a guy and decided she liked it. Jinx didn’t mind it at all—he was thrusting into her with abandon and her body was taking it and wanting more.
When he came inside of her, he let out what sounded like a cross between a growl and a howl. The sound actually made her come again, her climax milking him to completion.
No condoms necessary. No diseases.
Because you’re a wolf.
When she looked down, she saw that his eyes—his eyes had changed. They looked like the wolf’s eyes on his back and for really the first time, she believed.
* * *
He couldn’t help the partial shift any more than he could’ve stopped his climax. Nor did he want to. She knew and now, he just had to wear her out in a way she’d never been before. He knew how to please a wolf warrior female and he would prove it.
She tried to push back as her eyes never left his, but he refused to let her. Put his hands on her biceps and pulled her back toward him. His cock was still encased in her sex and he was hard.
She hadn’t had nearly enough orgasms.
“Don’t be scared,” he told her.
“I’m not.”
“You’re lying. You can’t do that when I’m still inside of you.” He slid his grip to her hips to make sure it stayed that way.
“I’m scared.”
“You’re free, Gillian, in a way you never thought you could be. Everything you’ve been feeling, everything you thought wasn’t normal was normal for you. For a Dire wolf. That’s why I pulled you out of the hospital; and if I’d known you were in there before this, I never would’ve let you linger there.”
She believed him, because she’d stopped fighting his grip. There were tears in her eyes. “Those years—they were wasted.”
“We’ll make up for them.”
“You’re not going to leave me?”
“Why would you think that?” he asked, a tug in his gut when he thought about how bad for her he actually was.
“Because in the past, everyone has,” she told him and he sat up and kissed her so fiercely, a promise, a pledge and everything else in between. Her tears wet both their cheeks as she kissed him back. They remained like that for a long while, kissing, the air cooling their too-hot skin. She was content, but didn’t remain that way for long.
When she pulled back, he noted that her pupils were shrinking. Her wolf eyes wouldn’t show themselves until her shift, and if anyone else saw her right now, they’d accuse her of being high.
“I feel edgy,” she told him.
“I can take care of that. I’m built to take care of it. Sex is a need for us—much more than it is for humans. If it’s not satisfied, there are consequences. You’ll never have to deal with those again.”
Before she could protest, he’d flipped her onto her back and her legs and arms instinctively wrapped around him. He’d begun to rock into her again and she couldn’t stop the jolt of pleasure that ran through her. He bent and suckled a nipple, bit it lightly but enough
to make her gasp.
It was then she noted his canines were elongated.
A part of her was truly terrified but a larger part was definitely thrilled. She remained still, watching him brush those sharp teeth across her nipple lightly. Her sex was so wet and his cock seemed to get bigger as it remained inside of her, pulsing against her clit.
He wasn’t human. Jinx was taking her—claiming her, she supposed—and she could do nothing but remain open to his advances.
You started it.
But apparently, he’d be the one who would finish it. His body weighed hers down, and even though he slid out of her quickly, he managed to pin her hips to the lounge as he brought his head between her legs. She looked down and watched his wolf’s eyes as he scraped his teeth against her soft, hot flesh and then used his tongue to flick the tight bundle of nerves once, twice, until she gripped the sides of the chair so hard she thought she actually heard them crack.
His eyes never left hers. She wanted to look away, should be embarrassed by such a blatant show of sexuality. Legs spread, his head bobbing between them and all she could do was cry out because she needed to come. And when she did, he didn’t stop licking her, not even when she begged. And oh, how she begged, with her hands tight in his hair, her actions the complete opposite of her words.
Whatever beast was inside of her wanted these releases, needed them, despite how the line between the pleasure and the pain blurred.
When he’d had his fill of tasting her—that’s what he told her, that he loved tasting her and chuckled when she shivered—he turned her onto her stomach, pulled her to her knees. Her body was limp and she was beyond fighting. For the first time in a long time, that nervous, restless energy seemed to have dissipated. She was near satiated—the rustling in her ears calmed, her muscles loose, her body humming.
“You want more?” he asked her.
“More,” she managed. “Please.”
He didn’t ask a second time. On her knees, he took her from behind. She could barely remain upright, but he held her up with an arm around her waist as he thrust into her.
She met him, thrust for thrust, arching her back, pushing her ass back to take him deeper into her core. She didn’t recognize herself. Didn’t want to. The searing, all-consuming pleasure threatened to slay her and she would let it overtake every bit of common sense and reason, if only to continue feeling this good.
She looked over her shoulder. Jinx’s eyes were still otherworldly, his cheeks flushed from exertion but the look on his face was sheer pleasure.
Because of you, the rustling told her and, for the first time, she felt a pride within her that felt right.
Chapter 14
The nightmare woke him up again. Rogue considered giving up sleeping for good, because this getting himself back on a regular wolf schedule of up all night, sleep the day away wasn’t working for him. Then again, he pictured hell in most of his waking moments too and decided he’d never be able to get away from it. Not in the near future, anyway.
He made PTSD look like a walk in the park with the shit he saw.
Gwen had encouraged him to try to get his patterns back to normal as soon as possible, but she didn’t argue when she discovered he couldn’t. Instead, he would come down to the clinic and help to organize her things. Like Jinx and the others, Rogue had also served in the military alongside his twin, becoming a Ranger and a medic in his company.
And since Jinx was out of the house, Rogue figured he could at least be useful and take up that role.
Gwen was doing a lot of research into wolf metabolisms and the like, learning which medicines Weres and Dires could tolerate. In truth, it looked like she was readying for a war, and considering what was happening with Liam, she might be right.
Several hours later, he had all the new boxes opened up, meds labeled and the second room set up with stretchers and curtains.
“You must’ve worked for hours,” she said, brushing the sleep from her eyes with her fingers. Her hair was loose, feet bare and she was so pretty. His queen. The woman who, along with Kate, had saved him from a fate far worse than death. He’d be forever in her debt, would lay down his life for either of them.
In fact, just being in either’s presence seemed to calm him, and neither Rifter nor Stray objected.
“It’s good for me to keep busy.”
“How bad is it?” she asked.
“I should go back out hunting. I need to. But it’s hard getting back in the saddle.”
Also hard, because he knew what he’d find. But the odd part about no spirits bothering him still confirmed what he knew—the spirits were more scared of him than anything. Instead of seeking comfort from him, they ran from him. He hadn’t been lying when he told Jinx he was still in here—hell was a part of him—how could he make it let him go?
“I was there, Rogue. I saw.”
“What do you mean, you saw?”
“I saw everything.” She whispered it and he wondered if her nightmares of the place were as bad as his. “I know what you went through. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now. But you’ve got to keep moving forward.”
“Suppose I never shake the images? Suppose it never goes away?” He asked it more to himself than to her.
“You’ve literally been to hell and back, Rogue. I can’t imagine that ever leaves you. But you’ve got to do something with what you’ve learned. It’s what you do.”
It was. Since childhood, he manipulated spirits into going where they needed to, heaven, hell—but he’d never dealt with anyone who was in that place in between. “I don’t know where to start.”
“How about with your twin?” she suggested softly. “I’m worried about both of you. I think you need each other.”
“I was kind of an asshole to him the other night,” he admitted it. “But he started it.”
She smiled a little and he continued, “Fine, I’ll go talk to him.”
“Good.”
“What else’s on your mind?” he asked. “I might not read minds or dreamwalk, but you’ve been avoiding asking me something.”
“I have.” She looked down at her hands. “Did you mean what you said? About me being both healer and destroyer.”
“Yes.”
“Well, I know about the destroyer part, unfortunately. But the healer—is that just because of the doctor thing or—”
“Don’t you know the answer to that?”
“I was born of a Dire with abilities and a human. I have no idea of the answer.”
“Does it matter?”
She looked at him with complete honesty in her eyes. “I guess it can’t be helped if it’s here. I just see all of you with abilities and . . . it seems like they take so much out of you.”
“It’s okay to be scared, Gwen. I’m surprised you’re not spinning with everything that’s happened to you in the short span of time. But you’re taking to all of it—you’re dealing. Whether or not you’ve got it, you’ll handle it. We may not like it, but we handle it. And that’s the most important thing.” He turned and headed away from the room. “Now I’m going to take my own goddamned advice.”
He didn’t have to turn around to know that she was smiling.
* * *
They stayed under the stars for a long time, until Jinx mentioned having to go to work, which Gillian supposed meant ghost hunting. She didn’t bother asking if she could go with him. Today, of all days, that would be a death wish. They reluctantly dressed and went inside. Jinx returned some calls and she paced around a little, exhausted but still wired from the sex . . . and the news that she was a wolf.
Jinx suggested a long bath and she did that, soaking under bubbles in the Jacuzzi-sized tub for a long time, her sore muscles enjoying the warmth. When she got out, she stared over her shoulder at the bruising on her back, trying to picture how it could actually form a glyph like Jinx’s.
She heard Jez and Jinx arguing about Jinx going hunting alone, with Jinx saying something about how thos
e dogs will listen to me more than they will you, and finally Jez agreed that staying home to protect her was more important.
“It’s the most important thing to me,” Jinx had said and that made the vampire relent.
Now, Jinx was gone but Jez was there, sitting on the couch, drinking a beer. She grabbed a soda from the fridge, because Diet Coke in the morning was the best thing.
“Rough night?” he asked.
“A little,” she admitted. “Are you a wolf too?”
“Hell no.” Jez looked so offended that she nearly laughed, took a drink of soda as he said, “I’m vampire.”
She choked on her soda. When she finally stopped coughing, she told him, “No admitting things like that when I’m drinking, all right?”
“Wolves are all so odd. Worse than humans,” Jez observed, offered her the box of fresh-baked doughnuts he must’ve snagged on his way home from . . . vampire-ing.
“Do you have to hide during the day—from the light?”
“No,” Jez sniffed. “Not my kind of vampire. I’m sufficiently indestructible, but I much prefer to sleep during the day. I guess old habits die hard.”
“I’m a wolf, sitting next to a vampire. I’m a wolf who hangs around with vampires.”
Jez watched her steadily. “You’re not going to have some kind of breakdown, are you? I signed on to watch out for you while Jinx had business to attend to, but he didn’t mention anything about crying.”
“I’m not crying,” she protested. “Mildly freaking out, maybe.”
“Want to watch a movie? Dracula? The Wolfman?” he asked and she looked at him, astonished. “That was my attempt at humor.”
She snickered in spite of herself. Wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “It might’ve worked.”
“It’ll get easier, Gillian. You’re surrounded by good wolves.”
“What about other vampires?”
“Tired of me already?” he smirked. “How about some Chinese food? I know a place with great sesame noodles.”
He was looking through a pile of papers on the table in front of him and triumphantly pulled out a menu like he’d found the prize in the cereal box.
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