True Connection (The Soul Mate Series)

by Walter, Rachel

  I do what she says and turn the situation around. I imagine Seth in my shoes, and I can sort of see how they’re annoyed. Maybe it’s just me, but if someone doesn’t want to talk about it, then that’s their business.

  “Thank you, Miss Jaynie.” I smile. After helping her sweep up Alex’s crumbs, I head up to my room.

  “Hope for the best but plan for the worst,” I repeat Mom’s words. Maybe telling Seth and Skeeter won’t be so bad. Maybe they’ll think it’s cool that my uncle is who he is, understand my grief for my family, and it’ll bring us closer as friends.

  If it’s terrible, I’ll just have to deal with it as it happens, like I’ve dealt with it in the past.

  I am going to tell my friends tomorrow about my crazy life, if they’ll still talk to me.

  ***

  On the way to school, I ask Henry if it would be all right if Skeeter and Seth joined us for lunch, without the giants. He isn’t thrilled but he says he understands and he’ll be there for support.

  Now, I just have to find Seth before lunch, and get him and Skeeter to agree to it.

  Skeeter doesn’t look up when I walk into art, or when I set my stuff down.

  On my way to get my canvas from the back of the room, I take a deep breath and focus on why I want to tell her. I’m still hoping that being honest with her is the right thing to do.

  Someone bumps my shoulder as I turn to go to my seat. When I look up, it’s Derik.

  He smirks. “Jaz, be careful, I might think you’re tryin’ to cop a feel.” He winks, disgustingly, and does that weird thing with his fingers again, like a lab experiment gone wrong, between a drunken monkey playing the tuba and a baton twirler.

  I roll my eyes and walk around him. I need to talk to Skeeter. I take a deep breath. “Hey…Skeeter?” I start when I get back to my seat, and as I sit, I cross my fingers.

  “Oh, you’re talking to me today. To what do I owe the pleasure?” She still isn’t looking at me, but she is talking, so that has to count for something.

  “I was just wondering if you and Seth would join me for lunch today. I need to talk to both of you.” I wring my clammy hands in my lap.

  When she finally looks at me, she smiles. “Do I need anything?”

  I release a breath and feel my shoulders sag in relief. Just like that, she’s forgiving me. There’s hope for my plan yet. “Just meet me at the doors outside the cafeteria. I’ll buy your lunch, and Seth’s, too.” I tap my fingers on the desk lightly. “Speaking of, do you know where I can find him before lunch?”

  She starts laughing.

  Is it really that funny that I have no clue where to find him?

  “You can always find him,” she says so quietly, I almost miss it. “He has this class next. So if you don’t mind being late to fourth, just wait for him here.” She shrugs. “He is kind of upset with you. You know, for the last two days, but he’ll always forgive you, Jaz.”

  I’m not sure what she means by that. But that gives me hope that he and I can remain friends. Maybe we can agree that over the last few days, we were both wrong and just start over.

  I collect the appropriate paints and focus on the lake for the rest of class.

  When class ends, I wait in the hallway just outside the door. I’m not sure which direction he’ll come from, so I look like an idiot, checking left and right. When I look to the left for the twelfth time, my breath catches in my throat.

  Seth.

  My heart turns spastic, my hands are sweating and shaking, and my mind turns into a puddle with each step that brings him closer to me.

  Come on, Jasmine! Pull yourself together!

  Seth pauses in front of me and leans against the wall.

  “Hey,” I breathe out.

  “You do realize that you’re going to be late, right?” He purses his lips, and I find myself wondering what those lips would feel like if… Stop it!

  I rush out a response so he doesn’t walk away. “Skeeter told me that you had art next, so I waited for you. Please don’t get mad or walk away, I just have a quick question for you. Please?”

  He slowly takes in a deep breath and closes his eyes. “Ask away, I suppose.”

  “Would you please join Skeeter, my brother and me for lunch today? I’m buying. I just need to talk to you and Skeeter about something.” I squeeze my eyes shut and hold my breath.

  Lord, I thought waiting for Skeeter to answer was hard. Waiting for Seth’s response is borderline painful.

  He laughs.

  I open one eye, and see that he’s staring at me and laughing.

  Well, this changes things.

  “All you had to do was say, ‘no thanks’,” I mumble, turning away to walk to Gym.

  I make it two steps before a hand clamps onto my arm. Last time that happened, I had it out with Derik, so my response is automatic. I spin and throw my elbow to the offender, but my elbow smashes into the wall.

  As the pain races up my arm, I yell out. “Holy mother of…!”

  “Jaz! What the hell did you elbow me for?”

  Of course, it’s Seth this time, not Derik. At least he stopped laughing.

  Wait a minute… “Did you just say I elbowed you?” He nods slowly. “Well, holy hell, Seth. Your side gives like a brick wall. I think I need to get some ice.”

  Holding my arm, I sidestep around him in the direction of the nurse’s office. But he jumps in front of me and places his hands on my shoulders.

  “I wasn’t laughing at you,” he says, giving me a smile that causes my heart to flutter annoyingly. “I just…” he pauses and shakes his head. “Yes, I’ll have lunch with you guys. I’ll meet you by the cafeteria. I am truly sorry about your elbow. Let me walk you to the nurse.” He grabs my bag and moves beside me.

  “Do you constantly lift weights or something? Underneath the pretty exterior you got goin’ on, you’re built like a brick-shithouse.” Oh my… I cannot believe I said that out loud!

  Apparently, my mind-filter is in my right elbow.

  He chuckles. “So, you think I’m a pretty brick-shithouse, huh?”

  “I knew I couldn’t get lucky enough for you to leave that one alone.” I smirk and stick out my tongue.

  He full out laughs. His laugh is as inviting and warm as his smile, and equally distracting. It warms me to know I caused that sound, even though he’s technically laughing at me.

  What the hell is wrong with me? Why does his laughing make me mushy?

  I shake my head and glance over to him. I wish he wasn’t so fit, “I feel squishy.” Oh shit! “My elbow, it’s squishy, feel it!” I thrust my elbow in his direction.

  I’m such an idiot!

  He stops us just outside the nurse’s office and places a hand on my shoulder. “I would, but I’m pretty sure that would cause you more pain. I won’t ever intentionally do that.”

  I can feel the words ring true. It’s like his words found a direct path to my heart.

  I swallow and nod before opening the door.

  “What happened? Gym class accident?” the nurse asks as we enter.

  “No, I’m the klutz that gets hurt before gym even starts.” I keep myself from glancing at Seth. “My elbow met a wall outside the art room.”

  “Let me see, dear.”

  After examining my elbow, she tells me that Tylenol and ice will hold me over until I can visit the family doctor. I don’t think I’ll need to go see my doctor, but I guess she has to say that.

  She writes out some passes for us and sends us to our next class.

  Seth is awfully quiet on our way back.

  “Hey, you okay?” I ask.

  Why am I asking him that? He’s the damn wall.

  “Yeah, I’m good. I just thought…I don’t know what I thought.” He hands me my bag and goes to class before I can respond.

  What the hell just happened?

  I shake off my confusion and head to gym.

  Getting through gym is torture. Since I can’t participate, I don’t get a br
eak from my thoughts.

  What happened with Seth just now? Did I say or do something wrong? Is he still going to meet me for lunch?

  What if he takes what I say badly? What if he thinks of me as a charity case?

  As soon as I think it, I know that fear can be dismissed. I don’t know why. I just know that telling Seth will do nothing except bring us closer together.

  But, what if I break down when I try to tell them about my family? Henry will be there, so he can finish for me. But I don’t want to cry anymore.

  It feels like a whole day is crammed into this one hour. Every time I look at the clock, the minute hand seems to move backwards. I tap my feet against the steps on the bleachers and pick at the plastic on the corner of the icepack that’s poking out of the paper towels.

  I glance up, and watch my classmates serve volleyball after volleyball. I’d rather be out there, even with a bum elbow.

  When the bell finally rings, I practically run to the cafeteria doors. Henry is already there, so we have to wait for Skeeter and Seth. I’m just starting to worry when Seth comes up to us.

  “Hey, Jaz.” He gives me a smile, then turns to Henry. “Hey, man,” he says and shakes Henry’s hand.

  “How’s it goin’?” Henry asks.

  Before anyone can say anything, Henry zeroes in on the ice pack attached to my elbow. His eyes go wide and his mouth opens, when Skeeter suddenly pops up.

  “Oh my gosh! Are you okay?” she winks. “Seth told me about your smashed up elbow! What were you thinking?”

  “Oh, you know. The wall said my butt looked big.” I shrug. “I tried to defend myself.” I hold in my laughter. “As it turns out, walls can offend me all they want. I’m physically no match.” I eye Seth.

  That does the trick. The three of them laugh.

  Henry and Seth say at the same time, “I’ll protect you.”

  They both stop laughing and stare at each other. I roll my eyes.

  Oh, goodie! Another staring contest.

  Skeeter reacts first to save the day. “Alright, boys. We know where you stand. Jaz won’t fight walls anymore, tone it down a notch.”

  Henry eyes Skeeter for a breath and chuckles again.

  “Let’s go, guys.” I smile. All I can think is, ‘let’s do this before I chicken out!’

  After paying for everyone’s lunches, I lead them outside to a picnic table far enough away from any ears. I sit next to Henry and across from Seth.

  “So, I want to start off by apologizing for the last two days. I was wrong to ignore you,”

  Skeeter interrupts me. “All is forgiven, you bought me food.” she grins and digs in.

  I can’t return her smile but I continue on anyway. “Apologizing, right... Tuesday,” I wince and glance to Henry. He bumps my knee with his and nods. “Tuesday was bad, and I’m sorry for what happened in study hall, Seth. I’m also sorry for ignoring you guys the past two days.” I take a deep breath and stare at the food on my tray. “You two deserve some answers to questions I’ve avoided.” I glance up to see they’re both staring at me. “First, ‘why did we move here?’” I take a deep breath, drop my fork, and look down at my lap. “On February 9th our dad and sister were killed by a drunk driver.” Henry squeezes my hand as I continue. “Our mom… She didn’t take it so well and is at an inpatient treatment facility, now. So we had to move in with our uncle.” I take a deep breath.

  “The next question I tend to avoid is, ‘how do we know Leland Jefferies?’ He’s the uncle, our mom’s twin, and we moved in with him. Next question, Seth. ‘Why did I start to cry in study hall on Tuesday?’ Our dad’s favorite song started playing on my iPod.” I feel the tears prick my eyes just thinking about that song. I push the pain away again and move on. “The last question is from yesterday, ‘Why are you avoiding everyone?’ It wasn’t intentional, but Tuesday night was the first time I really cried…since the-,” I squeeze Henry’s hand to silently tell him I can’t continue.

  Memories of the day we buried them cloud my mind. I see flashes of sad faces, flower arrangements, our uncle standing at the podium giving his eulogy, and two caskets being lowered into the dirt.

  I feel the tears stream down my face and land on my hands.

  “Tuesday night was bad and she needed a few mental days. Don’t take the last two days personally,” Henry says. He wipes my tears off my face and hugs me.

  I squeeze my brother, thankful that he’s here, and bring myself back to the present.

  Everyone is so quiet. I look at Seth, and he has his face in his hands. When I look to Skeeter, she runs around the table, squeezes in to sit next to me as she wraps her arms around me for a tight hug.

  “Skeeter…air…” I gasp. She chuckles and loosens her grip on me.

  “Oops, sorry,” she releases me. “Jaz, I forgive you, but I am so jealous! You have the hottest brother and uncle! No wonder you won’t let me come over in the mornings! I’d have a heart attack!” she laughs. Henry and I join her.

  Seth peeks out from his hands.

  “Delilah, you’re kidding right?” he glares. “Out of everything she told us, you choose to focus on that?” his voice booms.

  Skeeter looks away from me and grabs a fry from my plate. She dips it in ketchup and slowly brings it to her mouth but at the last minute, she flings the ketchup fry at Seth. It lands with a wet plop on his cheek, and Henry and I start laughing, again.

  “You know better than to call me that, Seth Francis Neill! I wasn’t done!” She fumes.

  As funny as this is, I should stop them. We don’t need a food fight. “Hey, look at the time! We gotta go or we’ll be late. Come on!” I stand.

  “What do you guys say we just skip the rest of the day?” Henry suggests.

  Skeeter bounces on the balls of her feet. “Please, Jaz? We have loads to talk about! I don’t think I can concentrate on math problems! Please?”

  “Fine,” I agree, and Skeeter starts squealing.

  Seth says his parents are at work, Miss Jaynie is at our house and Skeeter says her mom works from home. Seth’s it is.

  “We’ll follow you,” Henry says as we head for the student lot.

  I hope he behaves at Seth’s. None of that macho-big-brother crap.

  As it turns out, we have fun at Seth’s place, even Henry. We play pool, watch a bad movie from the eighties, and goof off. It was definitely an afternoon worth skipping school for.

  I feel light and happy, more like myself than I have been.

  Seth pulls me aside just as we’re leaving.

  “I’m sorry again about your elbow.” He sounds a bit nervous.

  “No problem, Wall,” I say and grin.

  He swallows. “Are you free tomorrow? Say around ten A.M.?”

  “Yes, I believe so. Why?” my voice shakes a little.

  He looks at me and smiles. “I’ll pick you up. It’s my turn to talk.”

  I nod rigidly.

  Why am I suddenly petrified for morning to come? He wants to talk to me about something. We’ll be alone. I gulp as I climb into the car.

  I’ll be alone with Seth.

  My heart kicks up speed like a race horse and my palms start sweating.

  Is this a panic attack?

  Henry and Skeeter’s laugh pull me out of my head. I join in with the jokes to escape my panicked and overexcited thoughts.

  Chapter 5

  Kissing the Voice inside My Head

  I wake up at eight, shower, and get dressed. After changing five times, I settle for jeans and a t-shirt. I think that’ll be safe for almost any location.

  I’m not sure what he wants to talk about, and I have no idea how I’ll be able to focus on what he wants to talk about.

  With shaking hands, I struggle to put my hair up in a ponytail.

  I grumble as I head downstairs for coffee. Hopefully if I drink enough, it will clear some of the fog.

  “What are you up so early for?” Leland’s voice sounds like a drum in an empty auditorium, causing me to
scream like a little girl and nearly jump out of my skin.

  “Leland!” I pat my chest, willing my heartbeat to slow. “Don’t do that!”

  “Sorry, Squirt, I thought you heard Alex yammering away,” he laughs. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m just nervous about today,” I admit, with a shaky laugh.

  “And what time is Seth coming?” he grins.

  “In like.” I glance at the clock on the stove. “Ten minutes!” I nearly shout when I notice the time.

  “Where you guys going?”

  “I have no clue. I’ll text you the address of wherever we end up, and let Henry know, too.” Hopefully, this will be enough to get the parental tone out of Leland’s voice.

  “Have fun, but not too much fun.” He winks.

  “Whatever,” I snort. “Thank you,” I say as I bump his shoulder.

  He raises a brow. “For what?”

  I smile. “For not grabbing my phone to make sure I had your number pre-programmed, like Henry did,” I say, with a much less nervous laugh.

  He laughs too, just as the doorbell rings.

  I run to the door and yank it open. My nervousness fades entirely when I see Seth’s bright green eyes and warm smile.

  “Let’s go, preferably before my uncle tries to talk to us about the birds and the bees,” I say. I’m surprised I can even keep my face straight.

  “Hey!” Leland shouts, as he enters the living room with an unmistakable look of mischief on his face. “Invite your friend in for a minute. I promise I won’t say a word about the diapered years, or how you used to-” he’s cut off. “Oomph!”

  I look over to see Henry laughing in the corner, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out he tossed his football and hit Leland in the gut.

  I laugh. “Thanks, Henry!” I look at Seth. “Come in, I guess. Welcome to the nut house,” I say loud enough for Leland and Henry to hear. “This is Leland, and the munchkin is Alex. And you already know Henry. Leland, this is my friend, Seth.”

  “Pleasure to meet you, sir,” Seth says to Leland. He shakes his hand and squats down to Alex’s level. He tickles Alex, making him giggle. I can’t help smiling at their interaction.